Zero Punctuation: SimCity

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Oh man, I've totally forgotten that that used to be EA's logo.


Good times.

bandit0802:
I haven't laughed so hard at a ZP in a long time!

"A poo map? FUCKING SOLD!"

I think that was the only funny line in there, as opposed to older ZP reviews that have had me in stitches for the whole 5 minutes.

There was so much potential for some crazy good moments with this review but I don't think even Yahtzee can survive getting whittled-down by the onslaught of shit games he has to play every week.

Maybe I'm wearing rose-colored glasses but the last ZP review I genuinely liked was XCOM: Enemy Unknown and maybe MOH:Warfighter, and basically every single video from there to page 1 has been awesome. The last 20 videos = meh...very, very meh.

I remember liking the super nintendo simcity.... man, I haven't played simcity in so long. I played 2000 for a bit where the main appeal for me was cheating so I could make military installations.

Thank you, Yahtzee, for such a hilarious video and the best part was that pause between "the poo map" blurb and you going "FUCKING SOLD!" If anyone was going to rip on EA for their always-online bullshit, it would be you. I watched this at the Game Developers Conference at San Francisco and I had to stifle my laughter at this! Bravo.

"Steam Bath" That may just be your word of the year Yahtzee. I know I have taken plenty. Only the cold purity of FTL will wash this bad game away.

GoddyofAus:
Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

You do know that making that statement is like lighting blasting cap under a firecracker, under some rocket fireworks, under TNT, under C4, UNDER A NUCLEAR BOMB!

He can find negatives...

...he also appears to have suffered with this one. EA origin on his computer -4 computer security, Always Online DRM -5 sarcasm, name limitations +5 to Critical Chance (of him throwing the game off the roof... on his PC so he can be sure origin is gone from his life).

I feel sorry for him because it appears and sounds that his humour's taken a beating on this one. I hope he never has his humour sucked out like this again.

LadyRhian:

snip

So basically "People who like things I don't like are too stupid to see how wrong they are"?
I will occasion defend EA half because they have published some great games (i.e Dead Space) and half because the hate crowd is so insufferably smug I need to disagree with them on principle.

OT: That was quite possibly the slowest ZP ever, also a bit late on the "SimCity sucks" train.

I was surprised - though in retrospect, I don't know why I should have been - by how in line Yahtzee's reaction to having to download Origin was to my own. I only installed it about a month ago because I needed it to run the Mass Effect Trilogy I bought for $20 as part of Amazon's "Farewell to February" sale. Opening Origin always fills me with the same sense of unease as opening a window in summertime, where the necessity of doing it does nothing to alleviate your constant fear of a wasp flying inside your house.

dochmbi:
The game hasn't been cracked yet (you can't get a working version from TPB) and it's already been 3 weeks since release, so the DRM is actually working quite well. Oh and Assassins Creed 2 took 6 weeks to crack because it also had a completely new kind of DRM.

"Working well" is up for some debate. If the point of DRM is to prevent losses due to pirating then DRM that alienates the customer base also causeing a loss of revenue seems like an utter failure to me. But hey at least the free loaders aren't enjoying the game - because no one is.

Hilarious video this week. The background image joke of the kid trying to spoon his own genitals was particularly hilarious (PURGE) as was the poop cam joke.

Gameguy20100:

GoddyofAus:
Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

This Is Yahtzee remember you could send him gold and he would complain that its heavy

Yup, I say that describes Yahtzee pretty well. Hell, his review of Shadow of the Colossus was positive and he STILL found things to complain and nitpick about.

But would you really have it any other way with him?

OT: Yeah, normally I don't like to jump on the EA hate bandwagon, but I definitely side with the with them here.

Holy crap, that was one of the best ones in a while! He seems to have taken a different pace with this one.

"THY TOWN HATH TOO MANY GAYS

GONNA BURN THY HONKY ASS"

I snickered immaturely at the regular mention of poo maps, no pun intended.

It says a lot that having seen this programs's operation ('game' and 'play' would be too generous a choice of words, I feel) versus the already mentioned SimCity 4 and indeed, prior SimCities in general, I find myself more amused by the version where I could have what I will retroactively consider Giga Bowser trampling a line of dwellings from one side of the city to the other. Heck, I had more fun with Sim Farm and that was both substantially narrower in scope (and appeal) and yet more of a simulator than this dribble.

Wonder if the EA ship will sink soon, what with stock price drops going.

Man, this game really is just one giant train wreck. I hope it can be saved somehow though, for the sake of the players.

The Lugz:
how is it i always manage to avoid all these gaming pitfalls?

oh, right the origin badge! heh..

'sigh' ship sailed years ago but people were too blind to notice tbh

It's because, like me, you have a special gene that allows pattern recognition and makes you immortal unless someone cuts off your head with a sword. We could of been good friends..... unfortunately we must fight now! ENGARDE!

dharmaBum0:

Daystar Clarion:
I haven't played a SimCity game in years...

Maybe I should get 4, since that's widely considered as one of the best?

You'll hear from a lot of old-school SimCity players that say 2/3000 was the pinnacle of the series, but I don't quite understand why. SC4 did everything those games did better and did it's own things well too.

SC4 still has an active modding community, and still manages to look pretty good (minus the silly portraits of the advisers). A big complaint is that it's pretty hard, which it is at first.

I think the grid in 2 and 3000 were easier to manage but I like 4 the most.

Also 4 requires a bit of dilly dallying with processor priorities so that it doesn't random CTD without warning.

scorptatious:

Yup, I say that describes Yahtzee pretty well. Hell, his review of Shadow of the Colossus was positive and he STILL found things to complain and nitpick about.

But would you really have it any other way with him?

OT: Yeah, normally I don't like to jump on the EA hate bandwagon, but I definitely side with the with them here.

Probably has to do with every game having problems that need to be pointed out so that people can learn from them.

Every. Single. Game.

Even Shadow of the Colossus

Saika Renegade:
Wonder if the EA ship will sink soon, what with stock price drops going.

Actually their stock price hit its nadir last august and has been rising since. It's still no higher than it was after the 2008 crash though. There is hope that with John Riccitiello gone we may see a smarter CEO in charge. Completely abandoning DRM is too much to hope for but maybe they'll think twice about gutting the core game in order to implement it.

Man, I think I may need a steam bath too. But I need to sort out my wallet first.

I seem to be running into coincidences these last two weeks since my brother started playing SimCity 4 recently and I come and see this.

And now I finally know what a "bollock" is. I have never felt so British.

snekadid:

The Lugz:
how is it i always manage to avoid all these gaming pitfalls?

oh, right the origin badge! heh..

'sigh' ship sailed years ago but people were too blind to notice tbh

It's because, like me, you have a special gene that allows pattern recognition and makes you immortal unless someone cuts off your head with a sword. We could of been good friends..... unfortunately we must fight now! ENGARDE!

you know what? 'kneels' end it all, i see no hope anymore all logic is gone from this land.

I have been WAITING for this one. Thank you.

Course, I'm always waiting because I enjoy ZP as a series.

And I wish to give a hearty "Thank You" to EA for releasing Sim City 2013. They showed me how to have lots of fun.

With Sim City 4 and Tropico 4. Two much better games.

Thanks EA!!!

Steam bath. I like that. I need to find a way to use that in conversation.

I was under the impression that you couldn't name your City "Dogbollock" because that is what the server is called, as I have convinced myself to be the case.

Ahh this Vid was the cherry on top on the SimCity controversy thank you Ben. I also fully agree with the Introvert vs Extrovert comments in regards to multiplayer at the end.

Brb, going to play sim city 4 again.

Ok, my favorite ZPs are usually the ones of games Yahtzee actually likes (Saints Row 2, Minecraft) but this was one of the best in months.

That was pretty merciful for all that has happened.

Brilliant!
EA deserves no mercy, and in this zp they get none.

great ep. The best part is I feel like watching has given me closure, or at least something to laugh about with the madness which has been sim city.

Can we get a poo map of EA? I want to watch John Riggatoni flow away. Bye bye John!

dochmbi:
The game hasn't been cracked yet (you can't get a working version from TPB) and it's already been 3 weeks since release, so the DRM is actually working quite well. Oh and Assassins Creed 2 took 6 weeks to crack because it also had a completely new kind of DRM.

Except you've failed to factor in how many people the DRM has turned away. In my case, EA should consider the DRM to be a failure, not a success, because it only managed to make me keep my money in my wallet.

Daystar Clarion:
I haven't played a SimCity game in years...

Maybe I should get 4, since that's widely considered as one of the best?

That's apparently up in the air, each one did something different that others like. Some say SimCity4 is too complex, others say it has a steep learning curve, others say it's the best and most interesting. If you want a good ..uh..'preview' of SimCity 4, an LPer I watch on youtube did 2 cities in it so you can get a grasp on it, look up GetDaved on youtube. He's not the best but he knows enough and does some explaining so you can get the gist.

I laughed so hard at this one. He's absolutely right, especially regarding the cretinous AI and the fact that it's about as deep as a puddle.

A ruthless savaging that the game rightfully deserved.

This is one of the best episodes. Also I'd spend the day with Zooey Deschanel.

GoddyofAus:
Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

He can be a douche about the fact that they've gone from underwater city to a sky city and how it's not a very creative decision. Also two guns limit.

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