Zero Punctuation: SimCity

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Rhys95:
Yahtzee, you should have gone the Dylan Thomas route for offensive place names. Just write it backwards like Llareggub in "Under Milkwood". (Though pronouncing whatever Dog's Bollocks is backwards would be difficult)

Nah, Skcollobsgod isn't that hard to pronounce, but it's hard to connect it to Dogsbollocs.

OT: I have heard people defend the always online with "It's supposed to be played online" I find myself thinking exactly what this video opened with. Yes, the game has online features which require a connection to be used, but no-one asked for this thing. It wasn't necessary or wanted and anyone could tell you that it would cause a ton of problems at launch. Yes, "It wasn't needed" could be said about a lot of things that have been successful and popular, but making something less stable is always unnecessary and it's never wanted if there is an option to it.

dochmbi:
The game hasn't been cracked yet (you can't get a working version from TPB) and it's already been 3 weeks since release, so the DRM is actually working quite well.

If by "working well" you mean "nobody wants to play this game anyway", then yeah.

dochmbi:
The game hasn't been cracked yet (you can't get a working version from TPB) and it's already been 3 weeks since release, so the DRM is actually working quite well. Oh and Assassins Creed 2 took 6 weeks to crack because it also had a completely new kind of DRM.

It's using the best DRM known to man - it's so bad people don't even want to pirate it.

This is the best ZP I have watched in some time. The anger soured into concentrated annoyance, the absurd, dark imagery...

I was not aware of a poo map. I want to see this poo map now.

Adam Jensen:
He can be a douche about the fact that they've gone from underwater city to a sky city and how it's not a very creative decision. Also two guns limit.

He already mentioned Columbia and said that it's a pretty sensible decision. The two guns limit may be mentioned, but then again, Far Cry 3 didn't have many weapons slots and still liked it.

Daystar Clarion:
I haven't played a SimCity game in years...

Maybe I should get 4, since that's widely considered as one of the best?

It had some minor issues but I liked it!

This review was the funniest in a while. ARTS lol

I have to say, I think this is the funniest ZP we've had in a good long while. And I'm not one of those guys who thinks the series is going downhill, I enjoy almost all the episodes but...yeah, this one was really good.

It also seemed like he was mixing up his delivery a bit on some of these jokes and it worked really well. Yahtzee, I dunno if you were intentionally trying something different on this video (or if you're even reading this) but you knocked it out of the park.

What was that indie game he was scrubbing himself with? I want to know :P

Yahtzee Croshaw:
SimCity

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews SimCity.

Watch Video

Wow. I like how you blame EA for the way the game is set up. Maxis made the game, they are the ones for the DRM stuff. EA just handled the funding. No reason to get mad at them.

Magmarock:
What was that indie game he was scrubbing himself with? I want to know :P

The Binding of Issac

http://store.steampowered.com/app/113200/

Currently 75% off leaving it $1.24 USD! (price taken from Steam browser store using a New Zealand IP address)

GildaTheGriffin:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
SimCity

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews SimCity.

Watch Video

Wow. I like how you blame EA for the way the game is set up. Maxis made the game, they are the ones for the DRM stuff. EA just handled the funding. No reason to get mad at them.

No indeed, I mean, publishers always just blindly hand over the cash and never make demands about inclusions. And people who say they were cool with the decision aren't just doing so because they have signed contracts with the publisher and will probably get sued or terminated if they badmouth them.

Oh, and before I forget, EA has never come out as publicly saying that they don't greenlight games without multiplayer anymore. Silly to blame them really.

The Lugz:
how is it i always manage to avoid all these gaming pitfalls?

oh, right the origin badge! heh..

'sigh' ship sailed years ago but people were too blind to notice tbh

I hear that, Origin will never ever be on my computer.

OT: Hilarious review. Haven't laughed that much in a while. :D

GoddyofAus:
Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

He's not gonna struggle one bit.

Fun episode. Laughed out loud at the part when he asks why poor people would want to play a god game. Hilarious.

Yahtzee, of all people, I'm highly surprised you didn't mention that the servers couldn't handle the influx of players at launch. That would have been a great point in the case of the online bollocks. What evs, really. Next week will be a good game.

I found a copy of SimCity 2000 to play for a while after seeing all the carry on over this game. Was still as good as I remember. I used to play that game in sandbox mode by HEX editing an original Sim City save file to $2Billion and importing the file to SimCity 2000. I remember there was a book on urban planning that used SimCity 2000 as an example and had a
"perfect" city you could download.

I also remember reading somewhere that Windows 95 had specific code that allowed SimCity 2000 to be played on it, not sure where I read it but it seems like a very specific case. No wonder it had the "more lines of code than the space shuttle" story spread about it.

I enjoyed reading through this let's play for Sim City 4 where they tossed out the "YOU CANNOT CUT BACK ON FUNDING, YOU WILL REGRET THIS!" guy in favour of their own plans
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3410697

Why would you trust strangers being able to interact with your city? They would go out of their way to melt down their nuclear plants and send all their criminals to your city.

This band did a song about poo also, is beautiful as they call them "secrets" and toilets "straining wells"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1Gy8t-KiqM

And here's a silly song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKvDARey4pA

I just want say this now before it's too late:

Natural Selection 2!

Ok.

Anyway, I did like this review, but he didn't really seem that annoyed about anything *(except the Origin download).

major_chaos:

LadyRhian:

snip

So basically "People who like things I don't like are too stupid to see how wrong they are"?
I will occasion defend EA half because they have published some great games (i.e Dead Space) and half because the hate crowd is so insufferably smug I need to disagree with them on principle.

Do I even need to point out how stupid this sounds?

GildaTheGriffin:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
SimCity

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews SimCity.

Watch Video

Wow. I like how you blame EA for the way the game is set up. Maxis made the game, they are the ones for the DRM stuff. EA just handled the funding. No reason to get mad at them.

And who do you think vehemently demanded the always on DRM be included?

I never liked these kind of games, but that doesn't mean I cant enjoy Yahtzee ranting on it.

Ah, it was a good day...

PS: I personally can't wait to see the Yahtzee's take on Bioshock Infinite which will hopefully pop up in the upcoming weeks.

Some dick at Maxis:
If you can't get a stable connection, you're not having a good experience.

No shit! That's precisely the problem. Specifically it's your problem since it's your job to ensure that we have a good experience playing your game.

The "online feature" thing is a complete crock of shit.
Yes, I can build besides other players, online. You could call that a Multiplayer. Since you can decide whether to play with somebody else or not anyway by plucking your LAN cable out of the modem, this couldn't have been the reason we need to stay online for.
So, then they told us that the server was necessary, because it would take over many of the calculations going on for your town because it is so complex, your PC can't even handle it. As if the installed game was just a spearhead, established on your computer by the server, that was running the real game.
This was meant, when Yahtzee told us about "offline would be a bad experience".
Until it was discovered only 4 days later that that was an utter lie, because the game runs fine offline when hacked and the stuff they claimed to need a server for was a) not as complex as they claimed and b) ran the exact fucking same way when played offline.
So that's it?
No real reason to have this always-online shit then?
You're still gonna make me do it?
Then it is the contemptible notion that I would steal a game from you that makes EA make me install Origin.
Wich I still fucking can, because, as said above, the DRM was circumvented 4 days after that press release!
So, what it is, in essence, is just being a dick to your customer so you can get your dick sucked by your stockholders.
"Look at me, I'm fighting piracy! Look how well I fight piracy! I have an online platform and everything! Look! Look! Suck my diiiiiiiiiick!"

xD

Excellent review for a game I will never touch! EA definitely didn't deserve the money you paid for it, they can stuff all their trash (all things origin) right up their own asses.

Iron Criterion:

major_chaos:

LadyRhian:

snip

So basically "People who like things I don't like are too stupid to see how wrong they are"?
I will occasion defend EA half because they have published some great games (i.e Dead Space) and half because the hate crowd is so insufferably smug I need to disagree with them on principle.

Do I even need to point out how stupid this sounds?

No, thanks for proving my point though. When the vocal minority won't shut up about how EA is everything wrong with everything and anyone who disagrees is too stupid to see how wrong they are and responds with insults *cough* I'm going to argue with them, same reason I pick fights with this site's over abundance of Bronies and Steam fanboys. When one side of an argument is very loud and very smug about it, I frequently find myself agreeing with the quieter side more.

Hopefully, EA will one day realize that Bug-Fixing isn't an optional stage in development that can be left until after the game is sold.
EA had made it clear that they think it makes more sense to get someone's money and then screw them over with DRM, unfair perma-bans and the like, than to give good customer service to encourage them to purchase more games in the future.

I expected like 100 more DRM jokes than what we got.

Rhys95:
Yahtzee, you should have gone the Dylan Thomas route for offensive place names. Just write it backwards like Llareggub in "Under Milkwood". (Though pronouncing whatever Dog's Bollocks is backwards would be difficult)

That seems overly complicated. I prefer playing the "I wonder if this is blocked game". You may not get your first choice but its creative and fun. It may turn out playing as the mayor of "Pontius Pilate" is better than "skcolloB s'goD".

OT:
I wish Zooey Dechannel would kick down my door and drag me to a roller rink.

I loved Yahtzee's reaction to the game scolding him on trying to improve the fire departments, and how he brought up the criminal that wrecks the city lives a street away from the police department lol. In all seriousness, Yahtzee got everything right with this review and I can't help but agree strongly with him about EA.

God, I've been waiting for Yahtzee to give this game a good thrashing, and he sure delivered.

Ed130:

Magmarock:
What was that indie game he was scrubbing himself with? I want to know :P

The Binding of Issac

http://store.steampowered.com/app/113200/

Currently 75% off leaving it $1.24 USD! (price taken from Steam browser store using a New Zealand IP address)

yeah, if he's cleaning himself with that game, lord knows how filthy it feels to have origin in the vicinity

KelDG:

Daystar Clarion:
I haven't played a SimCity game in years...

Maybe I should get 4, since that's widely considered as one of the best?

You should grab 4, I have been playing that and Tropico instead of this new one. If you play 4 install NAM and CAM mods. NAM makes the traffic work properly and CAM allows for bigger and better buildings (eventually). I cannot believe the amount of still active content creators there are still about for Sim City 4

You seem like an expert on the subject. Is there anyway to change the theme of the city? I'm getting bored of US suburbia/downtown and want to make a wild west town, or a European style town - you know, with different architectural styles and stuff. Is there a mod for these themes, or is it in the game already?

Yahtzee was surprisingly calm about the whole "Always Online DRM" thing that plagued SimCity.

Given how SimCity was usually a single player thing, I was expecting his reaction to be slightly more... volatile.

What's the name of the local sports team?

Kayweg:

GoddyofAus:
Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

He's not gonna struggle one bit.

agreed, 'At this point it's becoming generic bioshock dough that looks like it rolled around in dishonoured's playpen and picked up a few loose level design building blocks, like a soiled piece of blutak after you pick it out of the grimy end of the couch'

ect ect.

it might be an arrant pixel getting stretched to comical proportions but he'll find something wrong with every game, forever. don't you worry

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