Escape to the Movies: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

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G.I. Joe: Retaliation

MovieBob jumps into the trenches with G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

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Well... now I know.
Too bad it got stuck between the Rock and a hard-ass

Edit and if those turtles were any uglier, the NHS could pay for starting their modeling career.

My memory might be off, but wasn't Storm Shadow stabbed through the chest and then fell into icy water in the last movie?

A very interesting take. I thought you would like this film, considering it played a lot closer to the cartoon. It was mainly the reason I did.

Also, the Streetfighter crossover toy commercials you showed were hilarious! The CGI Turtles shot from the Bay film was just bad.

Interessting developement. I was kinda looking forward for this one, but maybe I will just check it out on rental later. We'll see.

Also: What was this vile turtle shaped thing in the end? It shall be purged in holy fire!

and knowing is half the battle.

I admit I was going to watched it tommorrow but due to the cold weather and got something else to do tomorrow, I gonna give it a passed (I did enjoyed the first film for being silly and over the top as it did felt like the cartoon).

Also dear god, that way the Ninja turtles will look like? Boy is Bay not even trying to win back our trust in him.

I wanna know what capcom was thinking with letting hasbro use there characters because that should be canon!

I was planning on seeing this on easter after dinner butt........yeah I'm better off studying for finals and playing more Bioshock infinite.

sure enjoyed the first one. kind of not surprised that this is a little letdown but i might watch it next week or so.

Still seeing it,as even if it's disappointing if it makes enough money maybe a 3rd one can be made with a better budget. Because there is no way i'm accepting a 4th Transformers and 5th Pirates while G.I Joe dies!

I expected a little more on the behind the scenes aspects of this movie's production in this review than just the little blurb near the end or maybe that can be fodder for a big picture or something.

So let's recap: the Retaliation characters consist of the Scorpion King, Volstaag, Darth Maul, The Mummy, John McClane, Clare from Titan Maximum, Shane from The Shield... and Magic Mike. And Magic Mike is the one who needs more screen time.

I was hoping the endless delay on this movie meant they were making things better, not more meh.

I really don't understand who looks at concept designs like that turtle costume, and thinks hey, seems legit. We keep barreling down this road and I imagine the unwashed masses of The Escapist forums will join me in missing Imagi and their CGI vision for the turtles. Nickelodeon at least took the hint.

:edit: what does Street Fighter characters in G.I. Joe do to the Westphall Multiverse (tm)?

valium:
and knowing is half the battle.

Unfortunately, this seems to be a battle that cant be won...

Oh God, that Turtle face...

That face will come back for me in my dreams.

Oh god that CGI Ninja Turtle looked terrible. And here I was hoping it might not suck despite the uh... "talent" *heavy sarcastic air quotes* involved.

Invadergray:
My memory might be off, but wasn't Storm Shadow stabbed through the chest and then fell into icy water in the last movie?

Yeah, but when a similar thing happened in the comics, he entered the "Sleeping Phoenix Trance", an undetectable near-death state that allows the body to heal grievous injuries. Since they seem to already be lifting several other plot points from the comics, I assume that will the justification they use.

I felt the same way about the first one. People asked me if it was any good and I said that if you plan on seeing a movie about an 80s cartoon about a toy line of military weirdos, you'll probably find it entertaining. That's why I also don't understand peoples' hate for the third Transformers movie. Now maybe it's because I'm baked whenever I've seen it but I did see a lot of giant robots fighting and blowing up a lot of shit. Sure it had the Bay cheesyness with the circling cameras and dramatic perfume ad poses at odd times but around those moments, but I was expecting that.

I think the biggest disappointment I have with the GI Joe Movies is (as Bob said) they tone down the absurdity of the characters and the costumes a bit too much. I saw the trailers but didn't even realize until now that those two are Flint (no beret?) and Lady Jaye (long hair?). Firefly does look badass and I like that guy who was in Dexter last season.
That's too bad the climax is lame, with a GI Joe movie you expect a giant battle in and around some badly hidden secret base. That's how every mini series ended.

I'll rent it when it hits dvd but there's one thing I want to know now, does Roadblock have the OCD (if it is OCD, but I don't think so because he doesn't say the same thing over and over again) or whatever it is that makes him rhyme everything? I always wondered what happened to him to make him do that. I also wonder if there's really anyone afflicted with that.

I liked the first movie in a so bad its good kind of way so this is rather disappointing.

Really Bob? Did you have to remind us of those Street Fighter GI Joe commercials? Even when I was a kid I thought they were god-awful (although I was probably just a little too old for GI Joe at the time).

.. Nothing in the trailer nor the scenes Bob provided made me want to see this movie. Ah such a let down, but at least it wasn't bad.

Still, they should of tried making it more top-notch with the unrealistic action and even crazier gadgets. Hmm.

Invadergray:
My memory might be off, but wasn't Storm Shadow stabbed through the chest and then fell into icy water in the last movie?

Yup.

Doesn't mean he died, though.

So this movie looks cheap compared to the first one? How is that even possible? I mean, the first one looked cheap enough as it is.

it didn't even have the decency to be so bad it was good

Yeah...I'm just going to go back in my hole and play Bioshock Infinite now.

The CGI Ninja Turtle shown at the end of this review was from the upcoming "Out of the Shadows" video game, not from the Platinum Dunes movie. As far as I know, there haven't been any pictures released of what the PD Turtles will look like.

So THAT'S why my Balrog figure came with a grappling hook!

Invadergray:
My memory might be off, but wasn't Storm Shadow stabbed through the chest and then fell into icy water in the last movie?

He got better...

on topic: Thats a shame I actually thought the first one was kinda fun too. Not good in any sort of measuring stick kind of way, but the whole thing was entertaining enough, and, like bob said, it felt true to the material.

I actually liked this one more than the first one. The Rock and "who ever played Duke" had some pretty good chemistry so despite expecting it I was kind of sad about him being written out.
The guy playing the president really stole the show btw.

Love the first movie. Not sure I'm digging whatever this new movie is though...

Looked up the image, its from a video game.....not a live action movie like I initially thought.
So, I don't care either way.

I was hoping the delay would have resulted in a better joe movie; still hoping to enjoy it when I get around to seeing it.

And that TMNT picture at the end: I can't unsee it. Dear god, make it go away.

Kumagawa Misogi:
Still seeing it,as even if it's disappointing if it makes enough money maybe a 3rd one can be made with a better budget. Because there is no way i'm accepting a 4th Transformers and 5th Pirates while G.I Joe dies!

this,

sides, I liked the first one to :p

shame. I suspected this wouldn't be good. The TV spot trailers I saw made it look kinda meh and I was hoping it'd be good in the same way as the first one, (pure mindless entertainment with bad one liners and cameos.) Guess I'll wait for this to show up on the movie channel in a few months

I was disappointed in the first movie because I felt they tried too hard. But the reason Bob doesn't like this one is exactly why I think I will like the sequel. Fewer characters, focusing on them and their personalities...and Firefly! I respect MovieBob's opinion though...however I'm still gonna see it

Sometimes I think Bob Chipman is an evil sorcerer who's trying to take over the world by completing some massive spell that will summon Satan to do his bidding. At least, that's the only reason I can think of for him to be deliberately provoking me to weep openly at the sight of that Raphael monstrosity at the end of the video: He needs tears of human anguish as a component in the ritual.

Well, I'm on to you now, buddy boy.

(Glad to get his opinion on Retaliation, though. It seems like the sort of thing friends would try to drag me to see.)

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