EA EXECUTIVE EATS BABY

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Hah, the last panel was brilliant.

Grey, you kind of look like you are holding an invisible baby and are preparing to take a bite in the second panel. Was that intentional? Because the context suggests not.

I like now you two now have normal hair cuts // I felt it was the one thing keeping Critical Miss from becoming super famous but now the sky is the limit

-M

I'm pretty confident those hairstyles are a greater travesty than any amount of baby eating EA could pull off.

excalipoor:
I catched a glimpse of the title on the front page thinking I must have misread something. I did a double take, realized it was Critical Miss, and suddenly everything made sense again.

For a second, before it had loaded completely, I thought it was a news article.

Thats not fair their not evil, just really really bad at this. I've gotten past the point of being angry, its like hating the kid who eats paste for messing up. Just ignore them and they will go away, I haven't bought a game in them for years and I feel fine.

rhizhim:

nope!

read:
South Korea cracks down on baby flesh pills
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-05-08/south-korea-cracks-down-on-baby-flesh-pills/3999028

Thousands of pills filled with powdered human baby flesh discovered by customs officials in South Korea
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140702/South-Korea-customs-officials-thousands-pills-filled-powdered-human-baby-flesh.html

image

...oh my god... OH MY GOD. I actually feel physically sick now. Jesus H Christ, how the... WHO WOULD DO THAT?!

I thought this was gong to be some rant on ea's policies or some reference to someone's hyperbole.. but no..
disappointed again!

RoonMian:

More like tiny cages where they crap all over themselves like hens in laying batteries or minks bred for their fur.

Wait... isn't that what they spend their first years in already?

OT: I'm quite bewildered by EA's comments that they don't want to be thought of as evil. Why'd they do all those things then? If they were paying attention, they should have known that those things wouldn't help their bottom line and would just generate all sorts of negative PR. All they needed was to be halfway decent at their jobs.

O come on ea isn't that evil, They only eat children 5-12 old.

I remember the days when Activision was hated, and I thought nothing could make me hate a company more.

I'm not sure if I should congratulate EA on proving me wrong or not...

erttheking:
Well I have to say this strip seems like...a modest proposal.

... Heheheheheheheh...

Zachary Amaranth:

Daystar Clarion:
Seems about right :D

It wouldn't surprise me if they had their own free range baby field, so all the delicious babies can roam free before their vital essences are consumed.

Are you kidding? With their cost cutting, they probably stack them five high.

Simpsons did it.

you made my day you should make that strip

Gotta say, Cory... you look better without the mullet. :P

I think the character look choices are going past people's heads.

And the more I see EA in the news as of late the more the following comic is appropriate.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-12

Dr.Awkward:
I think the character look choices are going past people's heads.

Those are the comic creators. That's what they actually look like.

I still don't understand why eating babies is considered more immoral than... say... devouring the arms and legs they're demanding from their custome... I mean, service users.

Dead baby jokes? really? Is the bottom of the barrel that scraped clean already?

Darth_Payn:
Dead baby jokes? really? Is the bottom of the barrel that scraped clean already?

Nobody said the babies were going to be dead when they were eaten.

...Okay, that was pretty dark and twisted, even for me. My apologies if people found that a bit too much, it was meant completely tongue in cheek.

It is dark and twisted, but does it really out-do anything on TV or the Internet these days, comic included? Soon, I bet, some other game publisher will begin to gain the ire of gamers everywhere.

And as someone already mentioned, "I want my baby back ribs! Chili's: baby back ribs"- Fat B&#tard, Mike Myers, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

"HAR HAR get it guys? We can do the insanely tired EA is evil joke too!" If any industry exec would be appropriate for this joke it would Fat Bastard himself: Gabe Newell but no one makes fun of the valvemessiha on this site and lives.

Let's be very clear. EA Execs do not eat babies. That's just ridiculous. They eat normal meals just like any other extremely wealthy person. Probably involving steaks cooked with very expensive sauces and vegetables prepared in very expensive and outlandish ways.

The simply reality is that eating a baby would be the end of the baby's suffering. It would be dead and EA doesn't make a profit off of dead things, it makes a profit off of suffering. So if EA is in the market for babies, then most likely they use those babies for slave labor. Some the send off to the fields to harvest the components of their lavish meals, some are send to the salt mines of Minforia in the Heartless Desert. Some are brutalized and raised to serve in their personal guard, brainwashed to the point of absolute, unhesitating obedience to their cruel masters. And those baby slaves who show the promise of their own cruelty are generally groomed to become dark sorcerers and middle managers.

This is the true horror of EA and one that will go unnoticed so long as we allow the illusion of "baby eating" to perpetuate in our society.

It's funny because it is true.
EA must be sick of getting all this hate. I wonder how much of an effort is actually going on behind the scenes to improve their image. I know I would want people to like me.

..........
Excuse me while I go throw up.

I... who.. why....I don't even....

(Directed at the article with the gif)

rudolphna:
..........
Excuse me while I go throw up.

I... who.. why....I don't even....

(Directed at the article with the gif)

err, yeah that was the guy above me i believe :P

I was sincerely thinking this was going to be a comic about how BoA should've won and how the gamers are entitled yadda yadda

And I gotta say, I couldn't be happier about being wrong.

Well to get the best tasting babies the EA Executives are probably gonna read a little bit of Jonathan Swift's work. :D

bdcjacko:

Simpsons did it.

Now you've done it:

Daystar Clarion:

EA only cut corners when it comes to customers :D

I'm sure they experience all the extravagant baby consumption the world has to offer.

I picture most EA execs as ancient dragons, sitting atop hoarded gold. You don't get that much gold by being extravagant with your baby eating practices.

SpAc3man:
It's funny because it is true.
EA must be sick of getting all this hate. I wonder how much of an effort is actually going on behind the scenes to improve their image. I know I would want people to like me.

i don't know about behind the scenes, but their open attempts to sway us are piss poor.

Zachary Amaranth:

bdcjacko:

Simpsons did it.

Now you've done it:

Daystar Clarion:

EA only cut corners when it comes to customers :D

I'm sure they experience all the extravagant baby consumption the world has to offer.

I picture most EA execs as ancient dragons, sitting atop hoarded gold. You don't get that much gold by being extravagant with your baby eating practices.

So many thousands of thanks. I had not seen that video before. Epic levels of win.

OT: Eh, I could see EA doing it. I mean, I would not put attempting Black Magic to stop Piracy past EA these days. Anything to please the shareholders.

major_chaos:
"HAR HAR get it guys? We can do the insanely tired EA is evil joke too!" If any industry exec would be appropriate for this joke it would Fat Bastard himself: Gabe Newell but no one makes fun of the valvemessiha on this site and lives.

Have you actually read Critical Miss? They did a rather long arc entirely about Gabe Newell destroying the world.

Amazing the things that can happen...that can change...in a mere two years, eh?

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the next two, or if I'm dreading them.

canadamus_prime:
EA chefs probably have entire cook books with the perfect recopies for cooking babies.

Pff. Real baby-eating connoisseurs know that the best way to consume the wee-ones is, as Gollum put it, "Raw and wiggling."

that came out a bit darker than it seemed in my head. should that scare me?

major_chaos:
"HAR HAR get it guys? We can do the insanely tired EA is evil joke too!" If any industry exec would be appropriate for this joke it would Fat Bastard himself: Gabe Newell but no one makes fun of the valvemessiha on this site and lives.

So...it's gone from "Leave Brittney EA alone! They're not that evil!" to "Hating the bad guy is old hat, go hate someone else for a change."? Interesting. I didn't see that coming.

Regardless, I felt the need to point out the conundrum your post sets up.

Either what you're saying is true, and there's a angry mob brandishing torches, rope, and pitchforks (and wearing Escapist t-shirts) heading to your door right now, or you're being needlessly hyperbolic and inflammatory.

I certainly hope it's not the former. Mob justice is never the answer.

Vigormortis:
Amazing the things that can happen...that can change...in a mere two years, eh?

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the next two, or if I'm dreading them.

Dread, go with dread. I know I certainly am.

Vigormortis:

canadamus_prime:
EA chefs probably have entire cook books with the perfect recopies for cooking babies.

Pff. Real baby-eating connoisseurs know that the best way to consume the wee-ones is, as Gollum put it, "Raw and wiggling."

that came out a bit darker than it seemed in my head. should that scare me?

Are you sure they wouldn't want them filleted like sushi?

Ok we'd better stop before I get nightmares.

canadamus_prime:

Vigormortis:
Amazing the things that can happen...that can change...in a mere two years, eh?

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the next two, or if I'm dreading them.

Dread, go with dread. I know I certainly am.

Vigormortis:

canadamus_prime:
EA chefs probably have entire cook books with the perfect recopies for cooking babies.

Pff. Real baby-eating connoisseurs know that the best way to consume the wee-ones is, as Gollum put it, "Raw and wiggling."

that came out a bit darker than it seemed in my head. should that scare me?

Are you sure they wouldn't want them filleted like sushi?

Ok we'd better stop before I get nightmares.

Too late for that.

Two years too late.

<.<

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