Unskippable: The Amazing Spider-Man, Part Two

The Amazing Spider-Man, Part Two

Graham and Paul watch helplessly as Peter Parker goes where he shouldn't go.

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See, this is why we should have opted for the underground lair with an auto-sterilization upgrade. You don't cheep out when you're making bio-organic weapons...

After the robot comments, I want to see Peter Parker vs GLADOS.

"We'd like to not be evil, but all this paperwork!"

"I am an innovator in the field of not being evil. Just today, I signed a contract to upgrade our storage containers from breakaway movie-glass to real glass. In order to mitigate the costs, this project will take five years. Fortunately, we are getting a 'not being evil' tax credit from...What was that noise?"

4:54 I think I've seen that hentai
Rat man must have mistaken Qwen for April O'Neil.

Did anyone else notice that while Scorpion was breaking out, you could see one guy on the right holding a monster's hand? Either that guy has super-strength, or we just found out that biological abominations can love.

Seriously, who *writes* this stuff?

I never asked for this... dialogue...

Thunderous Cacophony:
Did anyone else notice that while Scorpion was breaking out, you could see one guy on the right holding a monster's hand? Either that guy has super-strength, or we just found out that biological abominations can love.

For a moment there, it looked like Qwen was about to find that out to :P

Wow. I'm not sure who is the bigger dumbass: Peter for wanting to go see this stuff, Gwen for taking him, or both for not getting the fuck out once they heard the whole 'other hybrids send everything into an orgiastic killfest.' It's like bacchanal, only without the fun parts.

It's always fun to hear Paul and Graham say what everyone except the characters are thinking.

Man, if the intro is already that bad, how bad is the rest of the game?!

@ Oscorp:
Released a lizard, rat and a scorpion monster on NY, due to incompetence...deal with it #safetyisforfools

Why would he even bother with the disguise? It's like "hey, Spiderman has suddenly shown up down in the depths of our highly relatively secure lab, I wonder if that could possibly have any relation with that one, single guy that shouldn't have been down there? What was his name? Meter Marker? Peeper Parper? Eh, I'll figure it out."

SirCannonFodder:
Why would he even bother with the disguise? It's like "hey, Spiderman has suddenly shown up down in the depths of our highly relatively secure lab, I wonder if that could possibly have any relation with that one, single guy that shouldn't have been down there? What was his name? Meter Marker? Peeper Parper? Eh, I'll figure it out."

I was just wondering that myself. Why would the scientists question how he got down there? Oh right he's Spiderman... you know... webslinging. He can go anywhere with that!

Auron225:

SirCannonFodder:
Why would he even bother with the disguise? It's like "hey, Spiderman has suddenly shown up down in the depths of our highly relatively secure lab, I wonder if that could possibly have any relation with that one, single guy that shouldn't have been down there? What was his name? Meter Marker? Peeper Parper? Eh, I'll figure it out."

I was just wondering that myself. Why would the scientists question how he got down there? Oh right he's Spiderman... you know... webslinging. He can go anywhere with that!

From what I've heard he breaks in a couple of times later on in the game. So yes, he could get in there. What I want to know is why no-one ever questions Parker vanishing into thin air all the time.

Zachary Amaranth:
After the robot comments, I want to see Peter Parker vs GLADOS.

"We'd like to not be evil, but all this paperwork!"

"I am an innovator in the field of not being evil. Just today, I signed a contract to upgrade our storage containers from breakaway movie-glass to real glass. In order to mitigate the costs, this project will take five years. Fortunately, we are getting a 'not being evil' tax credit from...What was that noise?"

"We have scheduled these unnatural lifeforms for termination. However, since it would be a waste of research and against the nature of science to simply destroy them, we have scheduled numerous tests that are by their nature deadly. Coincidentally, some of which coincide with exit testing for employees who are also scheduled to have their employment terminated."

I liked Graham's Spider-Man songs in this video, pointing out the absurdity of everything wrong at Oscorp. And I liked that zinger about keeping Parker "part human"! I bet this sort of nonsense isn't a regular thing at Stark industries.
So, in the universe of The Amazing Spider-Man (The Movie), now all of Spider-Man's animal-themed enemies are part-animal, not just guys in costumes?

captcha: I am fine
Said nobody after this scene

well so we have scorpion, rhino, vermin and lizard all with the same origin of "oscorp biowepons"?
srsly? whatever fuck you sonny...

Ok, so we've seen the Rhino, lizard, Scorpion, and Vermin

Please tell me we get to see The Walrus, who's got "the proportionate speed, strength and agility of a WALRUS!"
(meaning since he's smaller than an actual walrus, he's weaker and slower)

Does Gwen ever shut up?

Ah Oscorp, joining the likes of Umbrella and Weyland-Yutani in the ranks of the most cartoonishly evil corporations.

Darth_Payn:
So, in the universe of The Amazing Spider-Man (The Movie), now all of Spider-Man's animal-themed enemies are part-animal, not just guys in costumes?

Oh, not at all. Remember the last episode? They're not part-animal humans, they're part-human animals. Which means that all of them are now brainless monsters with no possibility of characterization. Yaaaay.

(Also, my inner Godzilla fanboy won't allow me to comment on this video without pointing out that it's the military who's ineffective in those movies; the scientists have pulled off everything from dissolving the flesh off Godzilla's bones, rendering him catatonic by infecting him with genetically engineered anti-nuclear energy bacteria, and shooting him with a satellite-mounted black hole cannon.)

That was the worse cutscene I've seen these guys gone over // The body movements were awful, the logic of the character was dump as a bag of hammers // This was so forced it's not even funny, well Graham and Paul make it funny but without them this is just awful

-M

Hmm. Sam Riegel as the voice of Spider-Man...

I'll go ahead and say this: It would've been awesome if Spider-Man were like say... Minoru from Lucky Star... episode 21.
(Lucky Star spoiler warning....)


Also, I started to lose it at "Have you seen where they make Funyuns?"

Nice job having a first-person opening to your third-person game, We Know Literally Nothing About Game Design Incorporated.

See, things like this - where the characters are clearly too stupid to deserve to live (hello, leave when you know your presence makes the bio weapons angry, fake having to PEE and ask for a bathroom, force yourself to vomit, whatever it takes - you can engineer an excuse to suddenly leave the place they don't want you anyway!) - that makes me put my controller down and find something else to play. Y'know, like, something where the protagonist has some survival instincts and isn't a complete waste of oxygen. Hell, even the "fill in the protagonist" silent types are better than being sewn into the mind and body of a driveling idiot for 30 some hours. At least I get to pretend my silent people have some brains and courage and decent sense most of the time... just never in the scripted cut scenes and set pieces of course, but those are minor lapses by comparison.

Anyone else getting a Deus Ex Human Revolution vibe from this opening? main character guy and scientist lady going through a lab, seeing Chekov's guns of relevant (bio-)tech planted for future gameplay, sinister undertones, scientist lady put in peril/abducted to provide motivation... heck, I think both games had a little corporate add thing...

Peter is the only one that isn't freakish and brute. He's a guy with spider powers. That must mean every single one of these are animals with guy-powers.

And how the hell does Scorpion smell Peter THROUGH AN ENVIRONMENTALLY SEALED GLASS CAGE? If odors can get in, then it's not sealed, is it!?

At least we can feel better that when a ferocious rat man bears down and takes a chomp out of a little girl's shoulder, he just comes away with some tattered lab coat. Phew! I thought she might have really been injured. Then she'd really never stop talking.

I almost leapt a mile when I saw her eyes. Good god, those eyes....

Everything wrong with this opening has already been pointed out by everyone in this thread. The one thing that truly made me give up was when he decided to let some guy he barely knew that works as a journalist have a tour of the evil part of the company. Maybe I do have a good chance of being a writer, because I sure as hell wouldn't make this crap.

Zachary Amaranth:
After the robot comments, I want to see Peter Parker vs GLADOS.

"We'd like to not be evil, but all this paperwork!"

"I am an innovator in the field of not being evil. Just today, I signed a contract to upgrade our storage containers from breakaway movie-glass to real glass. In order to mitigate the costs, this project will take five years. Fortunately, we are getting a 'not being evil' tax credit from...What was that noise?"

You made my day with that. I can even imagine Ellen's voice with that second one. :)

And gawd is this intro terrible. There's plenty of words that Paul and Graham have stolen from out of mah brane.

idodo35:
well so we have scorpion, rhino, vermin and lizard all with the same origin of "oscorp biowepons"?
srsly? whatever fuck you sonny...

This isn't exactly a new thing, and has been done in several more recent versions of Spider-Man.

Page is 404'd

Zachary Amaranth:

idodo35:
well so we have scorpion, rhino, vermin and lizard all with the same origin of "oscorp biowepons"?
srsly? whatever fuck you sonny...

This isn't exactly a new thing, and has been done in several more recent versions of Spider-Man.

what versions?

 

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