Escape to the Movies: Pain & Gain

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Pain & Gain

MovieBob gives us a few reasons to go see the latest Michael Bay film.

Watch Video

No Bob. He's not saying he hates humanity or anything. He's just a bad director and film maker.

STOP.TRYING.TO.SEE.THINGS.WHERE.THERE.IS.NONE.

Okay first Yahtzee like a nintendo game and now bob liking a michel bay film....DEAR GOD IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!

l3o2828:
No Bob. He's not saying he hates humanity or anything. He's just a bad director and film maker.

STOP.TRYING.TO.SEE.THINGS.WHERE.THERE.IS.NONE.

Bob's entire job is to deconstruct films. He's been doing that on this website alone for about 4 years. If you think he can't spot a work bereft of any artistic integrity when he sees it, you must think very little of him.

What's the difference between Michael Bay and can of Red Bull?

If you poor a can of Red Bull out on the sidewalk, the buddle would still have some depth.

Wait... there's a Transformers 4 I need to avoid now?

The Gentleman:
Wait... there's a Transformers 4 I need to avoid now?

Coming in some unknown time - but except that Bay is most likely directing it, the only thing known is that NONE of the human cast is coming back.

I was about to come here to harp on about the Transformers nonsense, but then I saw what Bindal said. That's...Better? I guess?

But anyway, yes, I've heard that this was basically a spiritual successor to Bad Boys 2, and for what its worth...It actually looks alright. Might go and see.

Movie Bob has an existential crisis. Thinks a Michael Bay movie didn't suck and struggles to explain how such a thing could happen.

CWestfall:

l3o2828:
No Bob. He's not saying he hates humanity or anything. He's just a bad director and film maker.

STOP.TRYING.TO.SEE.THINGS.WHERE.THERE.IS.NONE.

Bob's entire job is to deconstruct films. He's been doing that on this website alone for about 4 years. If you think he can't spot a work bereft of any artistic integrity when he sees it, you must think very little of him.

I dunno. It seems like lately Bob has been going deeper and deeper into movies, intent on teasing out anything that indicates hidden motive or artistic flair, then building the review around it. In this one especially, he seems to be reaching for something that isn't really there, but something he thinks he can see the impression of, and is willing to stretch that until it breaks.

OT: I'm not surprised that they are making more Percy Jackson, but I am disappointed. The first film (besides being a mess) did it's best to be self-contained, and they are going to need copious amounts of continuity-paste to put the plot back to something resembling the books.

Why the hell did they make another Percy Jackson movie? They completely fucked up the first one. Hell the main bad guy for the ENTIRE series was not even mentioned or even hinted at being behind the whole thing.

As for this movie not interesteted at this point Bay and his work just irritates my. So I will ignore him.

Jman1236:
Okay first Yahtzee like a nintendo game and now bob liking a michel bay film....DEAR GOD IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!

Stay tuned next week, when Jim Sterling totally makes out with EA and Activision.

The weird thing is, if I remember correctly, that this was his supposed pet project, but he would only be allowed to do it if he came back for Transformers 4.

So wait a minute - you're telling me a film-maker of dubious talent can be at his perceived "best" when he does the stuff he's interested in, but crashes and burns in terms of quality when he's forced to make stuff he openly cares nothing for?

Pardon while I clean off my monocle that dropped into my tea.

Terrible plot, two terrible actors and one terrible director.

Yup, I'll pass on this one.

Yeah I was going to mention Iron Man 3 but I saw the release date for the US (horey to European getting that film a week early).

Hitchmeister:
Movie Bob has an existential crisis. Thinks a Michael Bay movie didn't suck and struggles to explain how such a thing could happen.

This could be explained by saying "Even a broken clock is right twice a day." Except that Micahel Bay probably isn't smart enough to read anything but digital clocks, so that analogy probably doesn't work.

Me personally, I don't think Bay's a nihilist. He clearly hasn't the brains for it (this is a guy who's been caught egging cars on the highway from the sets of his own movies). What he is is an immature frat-boy douchebag who never grew up and someone made the horrendous mistake of putting behind a camera.

That picture of Michael Boy leaning on a sofa is from a Top Gear interview right?

Hmmm I might catch this if my schedule allows it to

The offensive part about this to me (besides Michael Bay) is that it's true.
I had trouble with Fargo for the same reason. Making an over the top action movie out of some guy getting the snot pounded out of him and people getting murdered seems in poor taste to me (I'm not calling Fargo an action movie, to clarify).
This just seems like smut.

Did... did I just see Tony Shaloub get tasered in the face?

... in the FACE?!?

... I might have to go just for that!

Also, since Michael Bay is the topic, this is a requirement:

Well there was one line in the trailer that killed me ever seeing this, "This guy understands me.". If I can't root for the hero or villain then why am I watching?

Gaze upon me in awe for I have seen Iron Man 3!
Long story short: poor use of narration a la cut Avengers intro, meandering mid section with random NPCs thrown in for not much value, kickass ending fight, twists turns and reinterpretations of several Iron Man stories.

All in all, fun, but not as good as Iron Man 2.

Bob, your analysis works for movies like Sucker Punch, a good movie that is badly made. This is a bad movie that is badly made by a bad man. I would have enjoyed it more if you ruthlessly whaled on this guy.

Jman1236:
Okay first Yahtzee like a nintendo game and now bob liking a michel bay film....DEAR GOD IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!

I don't know what's true anymore!

I NEED AN ADULT!

(...and Bob didn't go on a completely white knight hate rant on the Dragons Crown Sorceress controversy. Obviously, it's opposite week at the Escapist)

Thunderous Cacophony:
I dunno. It seems like lately Bob has been going deeper and deeper into movies, intent on teasing out anything that indicates hidden motive or artistic flair, then building the review around it. In this one especially, he seems to be reaching for something that isn't really there, but something he thinks he can see the impression of, and is willing to stretch that until it breaks.

Well, consider what Bob has to do for this show each week:

1) Watch a movie
2) Talk about it for 5-6 minutes, ideally without spoiling it too much
3) Make a recommendation
4) Aim to be entertaining and compelling while doing #2 and #3

If there's not much of substance for him to stuff into #2, and #3 can be done with one sentence, how does he fill up the time? He brings in analysis, does a brief retrospective on the filmmaker, actor, or material, or does a tangential rant for a minute or two. I like that sort of stuff in my criticism, so I like it when Bob tries to get deep like that. But I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea.

As far as movies based on tween books go, the first Percy Jackson was alright. The mosters were cool and the characters (although very cliche) were quite likable and funny, the new one seems interesting.

Dude, Bob, The Rock is his masterpiece, not Bad Boys II. The Rock isn't even a guilty pleasure. The Rock is a fucking amazing film.

l3o2828:
No Bob. He's not saying he hates humanity or anything. He's just a bad director and film maker.

STOP.TRYING.TO.SEE.THINGS.WHERE.THERE.IS.NONE.

His best film was a got Milk? commercial that captured more of the human experience than Transformers ever did.

His second best is Bad Boys.

Then The Rock.

I HATE Michael Bay, but I can acknowledge good craft when I see it.

The clips Bob showed actually made this seem interesting. Still not enough to go to the cinema for though.

thisbymaster:
Well there was one line in the trailer that killed me ever seeing this, "This guy understands me.". If I can't root for the hero or villain then why am I watching?

Didn't Bob say the reason was to see them all suffer?

The movie sounds potentially entertaining, but to be honest the most I took away from this video was that Bad Boys 2 came out Ten. Freaking. Years. Ago.

Feel old :(

I'll admit that the trailer for this one made it look like crap, but now I'm kinda interested. Might have to watch it.

As for Iron Man 3, I loved it. Easily as good as the previous movies (in my humble opinion).

thisbymaster:
Well there was one line in the trailer that killed me ever seeing this, "This guy understands me.". If I can't root for the hero or villain then why am I watching?

I wouldn't criticize it for that. Anti-heroes and villain protagonists have been prevalent for quite a while with a lot of success. Hell, Holden Caulfield is considered one of the best protagonists and is also one of the most hated (not to compare this to Catcher in the Rye).

OT: I wish the Internet would stop thinking "stupid movies=stupid person" when it came to directors. The guy knows and admits that what he's making is for dumb 15 year olds, at least give him THAT much credit. As for this, I'll catch it when it comes on HBO or something in a year or two. Might be interesting.

Duffeknol:
Dude, Bob, The Rock is his masterpiece, not Bad Boys II. The Rock isn't even a guilty pleasure. The Rock is a fucking amazing film.

Wow, my mind is officially blown. I never knew The Rock was directed by Michael Bay. The Rock is really fucking amazing and it has Sean Connery as a bonus. How did he went from that to these kinds of garbage we see today?

On a day where I was attempting to be super nice I'd sum up Michael Bay in one word with "disappointing". He knows the technical side to movie cameras and he can make some nice looking explosions but they just feel like bad films by someone with potential they can never reach. Honestly I didn't even like Bad Boys II.

Maybe it's a rental for my bad movie Saturday one slow weekend but I just can't see paying to see this movie or Transformers 4 in a movie theater.

franksands:

Duffeknol:
Dude, Bob, The Rock is his masterpiece, not Bad Boys II. The Rock isn't even a guilty pleasure. The Rock is a fucking amazing film.

Wow, my mind is officially blown. I never knew The Rock was directed by Michael Bay. The Rock is really fucking amazing and it has Sean Connery as a bonus. How did he went from that to these kinds of garbage we see today?

The Rock is awesome, but I'm still shocked that it has a Criterion release of all things.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here