The Canadian Front

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Azex:
Wow. This is ripped off wholesale from the smodcast/nerdist podcast called FEAB. Episode is called Canadian Sniper. Please go back to telling an interesting and unique story with Erin and her illness. Seems when you try to do one shot joke strips they suck, and now you are resorting to theft. [quote="Azex" post="6.407345.16997466"]Wow. This is ripped off wholesale from the smodcast/nerdist podcast called FEAB. Episode is called Canadian Sniper. Please go back to telling an interesting and unique story with Erin and her illness. Seems when you try to do one shot joke strips they suck, and now you are resorting to theft. Sad.

Yeah, I totally stole it from this obscure show I've never even heard of. It's not like it's a fairly obvious joke that plays on a well publicized stereotype or anything. Good job, detective Internet.

Vault Citizen:
I recall learning if an event in history similar to this, I don't know the exact details I just remember hearing the words, British, White House and burnt to the ground.

Eh it's a pretty touchy subject between Americans and Canadians, gets into a lot of revisionist history depending on which side of the border you're on. Let me try to sum up the key points in the simplest manner possible.

First, the Napoleonic wars were going on. The US could have cared less, but the British Navy started impressing US vessels (basically conscripting them into their own navy I believe) and throwing up trade restrictions which royally pissed the Americans off. One shouldn't forget that France played a big part in the American revolution. US said fuck you Britain, while you're busy fighting Napoleon we'll take your Northern colony's! Population wise the US colonists held a 10:1 advantage, and they had a 2 year window to invade/liberate what is now Ontario and Quebec, but the British & French colonists along with the local Natives banded together and fought them off. Then Napoleon ended, the British sent their army over which culminated with the burning of the White House, but no one really felt like fighting anymore so they signed a peace treaty which established the current US-Canada border.

Oh and great comic by the way, like someone else said I got the impression they were going for a 'Homefront' thing except with the Americans being the ones doing the invading. And I imagine many of the Escapists international users will be confused :)

The Last Melon:

Therumancer:
War Of 1812

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm going to seem like a dick saying this. But with the exception of Stonington, which I can't find much information on, every single assertion you've made in your post is wrong. Again, I don't want to be a dick about it, but I can't let this amount of misinformation stand without replying to it. I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible and include Wikipedia links.

.

I'll put it to you this way. Your the second person attempting to present a backround in history saying that I'm wrong, and I suppose I can see this, as historical re-inventionism is a big deal nowadays with things being changed around in an increasingly anti-US light, especially within the US. I don't doubt in this case that someone told you these things, and some of the people writing wikipedia agreed with you, and that maybe you even managed to get a degree with such information, but that doesn't mean it's true. This is exactly the kind of dispute that leads to criticisms of colleges and such operating largely as left wing political apparatus, spreading propaganda.

Speaking for my part, a lot of my information comes from actually living in New England, where a lot of this stuff actually happened, and being familiar with a certain amount of local history. It doesn't surprise me that there isn't much record of "The Battle Of Stongington" because it will be inconveinent to the current propaganda, on the other hand I've actually you know... been to Stonington and a lot of the local teachers and museums and such make sure people know things like that and can put it into context, especially given that it's important to people who are from Stonington.

It's sort of like how a lot of people love to try and tell me what happened with Native Americans or what their culture was like (or is like) when I've actually worked for two tribes down here. The natives will be the first to tell you that a lot of these big massacres (on the east coast) were hardly one sided or unprovoked, and also that their people weren't all that primitive either especially when a lot of these things happened, and they got VERY political. People tend to be shocked when they realize that Chief Uncas despite what happened to his people is personally very well respected and all kinds of things are named after him and his feats, namely because he was pretty much okay, but the people under him that made a lot of the desicians at the time were a bunch of greedy oppertunistic douchebags who started a war the Mohegans couldn't win, motivated purely by greed. A decent relationship with the Mohegans before that is also why the tribe survived into the present day, and was never as ambigious as the claims of Mashantucket survival, which is a whole differant discussion (I've worked for both the Mohegans and Mashantuckets).

Incidently, a lot of this kind of historical re-inventionism is at the root of why a lot of people are so upset when people decide to move in and start making the insides of town halls, courthouses, etc... "politically correct". Removing things like religious iconography and the like. A lot of those symbols weren't just religious but also commemerated specific events such as battles. Over the years there has been a lot of criticism about how the first thing the liberals do is come in and take away the stone statue of a bible, and then try and tell you the event it commemerated never happened or "you learned it wrong" despite it being placed so people wouldn't forget. New England, despite some strong left wing leanings (the way we go politically in most big, federal, elections is pretty obvious), has constant battles between historical preservation and the politically correct over these kinds of things. Sadly those wanting to preserve the past are losing, and the results are discussions like the one we're having.

I'd imagine the guys who taught you, also told you that on the east coast Native Americans were a group of migrant hunter-gatherers with no concept of property ownership and a simple tribal structure, who all lived peacefully before the white men arrived. In reality there were primitive farmers who lived in longhouses that had complicated arrangements involving not only a chief, but sub-chiefs, and a tribal council of elders. Tribes like the Mashantuckets and Mohegans never paticularly got along and fought each other all the time over land... and land and territory were something they very much understood in trading for it. The Mashantuckets even run a pretty substantial museum explaining this with an entire village built up inside of it by way of demonstration to show you pretty much what one would have looked like. Primitive compared to the whites? Yes, but neither THAT primitive or ignorant. Once you understand exactly who you are talking about, you can begin to really understand how things played out for example... but for the most part you'll never hear anything but 'evil white men, exploiting and killing innocent migrant savages that had no conception of what they were dealing with... somehow remaining untouched and pure even after decades of contact'.

That was way too obvious

Well, I have no problem reading the strip in IE10, but the problem is in the joke. I was expecting more of the strip. This is still about video games, right?

Therumancer:

The Last Melon:

Therumancer:
War Of 1812

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm going to seem like a dick saying this. But with the exception of Stonington, which I can't find much information on, every single assertion you've made in your post is wrong. Again, I don't want to be a dick about it, but I can't let this amount of misinformation stand without replying to it. I'll try to make this as quick and painless as possible and include Wikipedia links.

.

I'll put it to you this way. Your the second person attempting to present a backround in history saying that I'm wrong, and I suppose I can see this, as historical re-inventionism is a big deal nowadays with things being changed around in an increasingly anti-US light, especially within the US. I don't doubt in this case that someone told you these things, and some of the people writing wikipedia agreed with you, and that maybe you even managed to get a degree with such information, but that doesn't mean it's true. This is exactly the kind of dispute that leads to criticisms of colleges and such operating largely as left wing political apparatus, spreading propaganda.

Speaking for my part, a lot of my information comes from actually living in New England, where a lot of this stuff actually happened, and being familiar with a certain amount of local history. It doesn't surprise me that there isn't much record of "The Battle Of Stongington" because it will be inconveinent to the current propaganda, on the other hand I've actually you know... been to Stonington and a lot of the local teachers and museums and such make sure people know things like that and can put it into context, especially given that it's important to people who are from Stonington.

The issue with the War of 1812 is a matter of perspective. For the Canadians it was a war where much smaller British colonial forces and local Canadian volunteers beat back much larger invading American forces. We have heroic forces like Sir Isaac Brock and Tecumseh. We beat the Americans at Detroit and Queenston Heights and afterwards we kept them from occupying Canada for the rest of the war.

Americans tend to remember the war more for the battle of New Orleans where they won a massive victory over British forces sent from Europe. Of course, the outcome of the battle was moot since a peace treaty has already been signed so it was a major waste of lives.

As far as I can ascertain right now "The Battle Of Stongington" was a failed naval raid by three British ships. The Americans beat them back and suffered only a single civilian casualty. While it is definitely a proud local moment, it seemed not to have much strategic relevance to the war. I am not sure why it would be "inconvenient to the current propaganda". I would think the atrocity-laden Niagara campaigns would be more of an issue.

RandV80:

Vault Citizen:
I recall learning if an event in history similar to this, I don't know the exact details I just remember hearing the words, British, White House and burnt to the ground.

Eh it's a pretty touchy subject between Americans and Canadians, gets into a lot of revisionist history depending on which side of the border you're on. Let me try to sum up the key points in the simplest manner possible.

First, the Napoleonic wars were going on. The US could have cared less, but the British Navy started impressing US vessels (basically conscripting them into their own navy I believe) and throwing up trade restrictions which royally pissed the Americans off. One shouldn't forget that France played a big part in the American revolution. US said fuck you Britain, while you're busy fighting Napoleon we'll take your Northern colony's! Population wise the US colonists held a 10:1 advantage, and they had a 2 year window to invade/liberate what is now Ontario and Quebec, but the British & French colonists along with the local Natives banded together and fought them off. Then Napoleon ended, the British sent their army over which culminated with the burning of the White House, but no one really felt like fighting anymore so they signed a peace treaty which established the current US-Canada border.

Oh and great comic by the way, like someone else said I got the impression they were going for a 'Homefront' thing except with the Americans being the ones doing the invading. And I imagine many of the Escapists international users will be confused :)

In 1812 the British were pretty much dissing the Americans so the Americans wanted to show the world that they should be treated as a serious nation. However, they lacked a proper army, had to rely too much on militias and their generals were political appointees. The British forces in Canada held back the Americans till Britain could send an army to attack America. However, by that time the Americans managed to train up their troops to match the British and appointed more competent generals. So the British got their ass handed to them at New Orleans. However, by that time the war was already over so the victory was merely a morale issue.

It's almost of a point of Canadian pride that other nations, especially the US, tend to underestimate Canada but when the crunch comes, we step up and fight for what we believe in.

Yup... I laughed out loud, nice sting. ;)

I'd be careful about pulling the Canadians into a Red Dawn situation. When they yell "Wolverines!" they mean this guy:
image

Um... sniper rifles can shoot through helmets now? I thought militaries these days had better equipment than that. Unless they are out of the resources needed for bullet-proof helms or we just have bullets that make the word bullet-proof non-existant.

You know US military(in this strip), you could've just, you know, ASKED. I mean we're both civil contries. I'm sure we can talk it out....

There are at least 4 jokes in this strip, maybe more I didn't catch.

Just wondering, what triggered this strip?

Also, I want to play a game based on this conflict. Both sides please.

Namechangeday:
Um... sniper rifles can shoot through helmets now? I thought militaries these days had better equipment than that. Unless they are out of the resources needed for bullet-proof helms or we just have bullets that make the word bullet-proof non-existant.

You know US military(in this strip), you could've just, you know, ASKED. I mean we're both civil contries. I'm sure we can talk it out....

Even if they could make a helmet sniper-proof, it would be far too heavy to wear. It's good for stopping shrapnel and pistol fire, that's about it.

Oh, and here's a relevant video about the War of 1812.

Am I the only one who caught the Modest Mouse lyric? It's Dashboard, which is a great song.

Namechangeday:
Um... sniper rifles can shoot through helmets now? I thought militaries these days had better equipment than that. Unless they are out of the resources needed for bullet-proof helms or we just have bullets that make the word bullet-proof non-existant.

Actually the "bullet proof" helmet is pure fiction. Your average military helmet won't even stop a standard 7.62 round if it hits dead on, and our friendly Canadian is using a 50 cal. So, no, the helmet probably wouldn't stop it, and if it did, the bullet would probably knock his head off anyway.

You know, as a Canadian patriot, I approve of this realistic comic.

Therumancer:
snip

I find it pretty hilarious that you're always trying to shut down anyone who calls out your nonsense by calling people politically correct anti-US revisionists. LITERALLY no one in this thread had mentioned white people massacring native americans yet you bring that up like it proves your point that no damn 'libruls' can face the hard truth that white people aren't as awful as you claim we claim they are.

Anyway, good strip, even if I didn't know what Tim Hortons was...

Grey Carter:
snipe

BlackStar42:
snip

Makes sense, didn't know. Thanks !

So... Fallout then.
That's probably fine. Fallout's fine.

50 years too soon
Also shouldn't there be more soldiers in power armor?

Vault Citizen:
I recall learning if an event in history similar to this, I don't know the exact details I just remember hearing the words, British, White House and burnt to the ground.

If you are being serious then the war of 1812 was a fight between British and American forces. Canadians were still British and sailed a group of ships into American territory and bombarded DC ending in the White House being destroyed. American forces pushed into Canada (again, we did the same thing in the Revolutionary War) as far as Toronto.
If not... I have no sense of humor.

Draconalis:
Canadians have sniper rifles?!

Correction: we have transeuranic apology rifles. We kill our enemies with our irrational inferiority complex.

Personally, I'd much rather market the Stephen Harper Human Shield. Shoot our stupid oil-mongering PM! Hate the asshat who doesn't give a shit about the Kyoto Protocol, don't hate the hapless soldiers behind him!

Nothing critical miss about this one.

Draconalis:
Canadians have sniper rifles?!

Yes. In fact, the world record holder for the longest confirmed kill against a human combatant (or a human, for that matter), is a Canadian, a 1.54 miles, which is about 2.5 kilometers.

Namechangeday:
Um... sniper rifles can shoot through helmets now? I thought militaries these days had better equipment than that. Unless they are out of the resources needed for bullet-proof helms or we just have bullets that make the word bullet-proof non-existant.

Helmets are for debris and shrapnel, not bullets. Yes, occasionally there's a helmet that stops a bullet, but with absolutely no regularity or consistency. They're there to prevent brain damage from the blunt force of falling rocket, not a 12.7 going 2,600 feet per second.

You know US military(in this strip), you could've just, you know, ASKED. I mean we're both civil contries. I'm sure we can talk it out....

No, we MUST have war, even if its totally meaningless! Didn't you know, we started the War of 1812 over an issue that the British had just vowed to never inflict upon the US again, and we might've started the Spanish-American War by sabotaging our own ship. Then there's Wounded Knee and Little Big Horn. We were kicking so much ass in Korea that the troops wanted to take China next. Americans eat, sleep, and bathe in relatively pointless conflict - as American as baseball and apple pie.

Is it a great coincidence that I'm watching Red Dawn right now while seeing this pop up ? Yes! Yes, it is!

Draconalis:
Canadians have sniper rifles?!

Yes we do.. and the bullets they fire are made of frozen maple syrup.

MarsAtlas:
Yes. In fact, the world record holder for the longest confirmed kill against a human combatant (or a human, for that matter), is a Canadian, a 1.54 miles, which is about 2.5 kilometers.

Actually the current record holder is a British Corporal. Though it did take him 9 shots to properly range the target and the only 45m less record for the Canadian was done in 3 shots.

Slycne:

MarsAtlas:
Yes. In fact, the world record holder for the longest confirmed kill against a human combatant (or a human, for that matter), is a Canadian, a 1.54 miles, which is about 2.5 kilometers.

Actually the current record holder is a British Corporal. Though it did take him 9 shots to properly range the target and the only 45m less record for the Canadian was done in 3 shots.

That must've been recent then, because I recall the Canadian still being the holder sometime last year. I remember reading about the Canadian right after it happened on a website. I wanna say he used an AWM, but there's a good chance I'm off on that. I'm absolutely certain, however, that he actually took out two guys, not just one. Hit them both in the gut. If not, we must be talking about different Canadians.

Three pages and no mention of the Modest Mouse lyrics? I am disappoint.

Oh, those silly Canadians.

image

WanderingFool:
Kay... I dont get it... Theres something funny here, I know, but Im not sure what it is...

The "sorry" after the Canadian does a headshot on the American soldier. We're notorious for being polite at the strangest of times.

Because Canadians are polite, right?

....try harder guys.

Personally the comic cut off a little short for me. One more joke would have sold it.

Maybe a joke about US soldiers freezing to death in the tundra while Canadian children play around them in shorts and tshirts.

WOLVERINES!!!!!!!! ...er I mean MAPLE LEAFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the "Sorry." just clinches it.

Oh, just wait till you see the french canadian grenadier corps.

xD

Canadian jokes like this never get old.

MarsAtlas:

Slycne:

MarsAtlas:
Yes. In fact, the world record holder for the longest confirmed kill against a human combatant (or a human, for that matter), is a Canadian, a 1.54 miles, which is about 2.5 kilometers.

Actually the current record holder is a British Corporal. Though it did take him 9 shots to properly range the target and the only 45m less record for the Canadian was done in 3 shots.

That must've been recent then, because I recall the Canadian still being the holder sometime last year. I remember reading about the Canadian right after it happened on a website. I wanna say he used an AWM, but there's a good chance I'm off on that. I'm absolutely certain, however, that he actually took out two guys, not just one. Hit them both in the gut. If not, we must be talking about different Canadians.

Yeah it was couple of years ago iirc. To be fair to the brit though his rifle wasn't considered nearly accurate enough for the range he pulled the shot off with.

And the US would have to be preemptive in it's attack. If Canada led off we would have America secured in a week because no one would believe it.

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