Xbone Week #2

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Xbone Week #2

Ask a simple question...

Read Full Article

...Wait until E3 to get answer.

An answer that will just raise further questions.

Always nice to see the head of the nail meeting the hammer.

Can't help but be reminded of the Rum Diaries, when they said the best way to raise taxes by 5% is to release rumours that taxes are going to be raised by 10%. Then when everybody freaks out you come in with the 'compromise' of 5%. Wonder if Microsoft is attempting something similar (but fucking up royally).

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

How long has Microsoft been in the business of selling things to people?

You'd think they'd know how to not perforate their own rectums by now.

Daystar Clarion:
How long has Microsoft been in the business of selling things to people?

You'd think they'd know how to not perforate their own rectums by now.

Something a lot of people tend to overlook in this debate is the fact that Microsoft lost their exclusive deal with the country's top lube-producers last year. They're going at E3 with a dried out rectum. God help them.

Daystar Clarion:
How long has Microsoft been in the business of selling things to people?

You'd think they'd know how to not perforate their own rectums by now.

Honestly, if they're not squashing someone under their boot heel they don't really have much of a clue what to do with them.

You can do that to the US intelligence agencies, apparently they aren't allowed to confirm or deny anything.

For obvious reasons, of course, and you could troll them just once before you'd never get allowed in a press conference again, but still.

Grouchy Imp:

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

Rumors that the Xbox One will engage in the illegal act of murder are entirely unfounded and false. Microsoft is very serious about its customer base and would not stoop to violent and horrific tactics in order to silence any detractors.

On an unrelated note: Any photos the general populous may have seen recently of the Xbox One in "arachnid killbot mode" have not officially been released for publication and do not, in any way, reflect the final version of the product.

Daystar Clarion:
How long has Microsoft been in the business of selling things to people?

You'd think they'd know how to not perforate their own rectums by now.

You'd think, but Microsoft's usual policy is to just buy up the competition leaving people with no choice but to buy their products. They have no idea how to actually sell things to people.

Jehovah Allah Gaia Christ!

M$ is just fracking this damn thing up worse than SEGA did the DreamCast.

I swear if MS is doing all this as some sort of 'epic troll' PR stunt...
I may send them cookies and a pound of my granny's finest peanut brittle.

If not...
I hope this console crashes and burns like th CDI.

Well I don't know about the rest of you but the Xbone has already bought me plenty of entertainment.

LongAndShort:
Always nice to see the head of the nail meeting the hammer.

Can't help but be reminded of the Rum Diaries, when they said the best way to raise taxes by 5% is to release rumours that taxes are going to be raised by 10%. Then when everybody freaks out you come in with the 'compromise' of 5%. Wonder if Microsoft is attempting something similar (but fucking up royally).

Good analogy.
Sony may even be smarter: waiting to see what the shitstorm looks like then saying "we're only going to raise 3%. I honestly think Sony had something similar in mind (they were very carefully wording things during their reveal) in terms of child harvesting but were waiting to see if MS would show their hand first. I just hope the public outcry is enough to make the platform developers realize they can't completely buttfuck the consumer like that.
I think George Carlin said it best; he usually did:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SibF7GIOiSU

I'll wait til' more info comes out (E3) to judge it.
The conferens did talk a lot about the multimedia things but then again those are the new triats, I doubt they've made gaming a second hand thing as many seem to think.
Wait and see and judge it a bit later.

I honestly think this is the best route for Microsoft to take. They've already lost most exclusivity deals to Sony, and what little they've held onto are basically just 'first dibs' on new content. The Xbox One isn't a gaming system first and foremost- probably because Microsoft realizes that at this point, trying to match Sony point for point will just end with them falling behind. They're mostly marketing to an entirely different demographic.

I thought that Sony's final word was that publishers could decide whether a game would be required to be online to function, but used games in general would work.
http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2013/02/sonys-yoshida-playstation-4-wont-block-used-games/

This is an unrealistic comic. No way are microsoft reps that eloquent!

Kopikatsu:
I honestly think this is the best route for Microsoft to take. They've already lost most exclusivity deals to Sony, and what little they've held onto are basically just 'first dibs' on new content. The Xbox One isn't a gaming system first and foremost- probably because Microsoft realizes that at this point, trying to match Sony point for point will just end with them falling behind. They're mostly marketing to an entirely different demographic.

Well as far as I know, Nintento won the current generation hands-down as far as sales go, regardless of all the "Hurr durr them casuals!" rage we can conjure up around here, and I'm pretty sure they might yoink this one too, especially if Sony gets screwed by the publishers.

Zachary Amaranth:
This is an unrealistic comic. No way are microsoft reps that eloquent!

Sure they are...kind of. And if you don't believe me then you can #dealwithit. Or failing that you can #succumbtoxbonespiderattack. =p

I gotta say, the Xboner totally delivers as an entertainment system.
The damn thing isn't even released yet and it still manages to entertain me for hours and hours on end.

Grouchy Imp:

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street. ;)

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

I know that wall in the background of panel two does actually say Xbox One but all I can genuinely see now when I look at it is "Xbone".

Congratulations gaming press for attaching permanent ridicule to this ridiculous device!

Would they just tell us already? Both Microsoft and Sony. It would take one quick press release to explain everything that has us worried. Are they trying to lure us in with "Cawl ov Dootie" and "Heighloe Phive" just to get everyone excited then say "Oh, yeah, you gotta pay full price for used games , the kinect is sentient and records your every action plus fear, and xbone phones home every 24hrs so EA isn't frothing at the mouth about used games while still closing down decent developers."

If they expect this news to last a long time at E3 then I am worried that they don't have anything more interesting in store for us when E3 does come around. It is just gonna be "We care about our consumers, bla, bla, bla, That is why we are gouging their wallets bla, bla and making them sign on every 24 hours." What could be said in 2 minutes will take 30, and we won't know as much about these exclusives as we could have.

More importantly, they are already loosing sales to this DRM travesty because they have not been clear and even made contradicting statements about it. When E3 comes about there may be large potential of customers that have already sided with Nintendo or Sony, or switched to PC. Just look at the Wii U sales jump after Xbone's announcement.

I feel so bad for the Xbone reps who are tasked with dealing with the public.
They aren't making the decisions on what to tell, so all they can do is dodge questions.

Or lose their jobs. (Or worse, I hear the new Kinect is powered by tortured souls)

Lieju:
I feel so bad for the Xbone reps who are tasked with dealing with the public.
They aren't making the decisions on what to tell, so all they can do is dodge questions.

Or lose their jobs. (Or worse, I hear the new Kinect is powered by tortured souls)

I don't. Their job is similar to the thankless job that is White House Press Secretary. They take a lot of shit and most people can't handle the work but you know what? They get paid.

Imp Emissary:

Grouchy Imp:

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street. ;)

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

Microsoft have missed a trick here. There's clearly a commercial market for assassin droids disguised as harmless domestic appliances.

Grouchy Imp:

Imp Emissary:

Grouchy Imp:

Strangely enough, if the Xbox One did grow many legs and commit murderous midnight rampages I'd be more tempted to buy one.

As a present for 'friends', obviously.

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street. ;)

Microsoft have missed a trick here. There's clearly a commercial market for assassin droids disguised as harmless domestic appliances.

:/ Why did all that make me think of the brave little toaster?
image
Hmmmmm.....
<.< Don't know if I trust that face anymore....

Lieju:
I feel so bad for the Xbone reps who are tasked with dealing with the public.
They aren't making the decisions on what to tell, so all they can do is dodge questions.

Or lose their jobs. (Or worse, I hear the new Kinect is powered by tortured souls)

So the xbone is the Emperor's Golden Throne from Warhammer 40000? image Now I want one.

"Nyyeehehheeehyyeh?"

Nailed it.

As much as I enjoy the convenience of console gaming, I just feel so turned off from ever buying a new one when these are the business practices of the companies that manufacture them. I never thought I'd see the day when my 3DS provides me with better customer service experiences than my home console. Then I buy something on Steam or through Humble Bundle and remember that there are groups that actually care about games and the gamer.

Imp Emissary:

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

one's from microsoft PR, the others from Sony

oliver.begg:

Imp Emissary:

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

one's from microsoft PR, the others from Sony

Ha ha ha!
Which one is which? You could make arguments for the second or first one being form Sony.

DVS BSTrD:
...Wait until E3 to get answer.

An answer that will just raise further questions.

It'll be just like Prometheus all over again.

Jokes aside, I've already decided the Xbox One is not for me, but it'll be interesting what Microsoft decide to answer/show at E3.

Imp Emissary:

Grouchy Imp:

Imp Emissary:

If you find such a thing.
*Hands over a list of names and addresses*
Do what comes naturally with that thing you just found on the street. ;)

Microsoft have missed a trick here. There's clearly a commercial market for assassin droids disguised as harmless domestic appliances.

:/ Why did all that make me think of the brave little toaster?
image
Hmmmmm.....
<.< Don't know if I trust that face anymore....

Toasters, you say?

Never, ever trust 'em.

Imp Emissary:

oliver.begg:

Imp Emissary:

I'm curious.
Who are the two guys on "Keith's" shoulders suppose to be?

one's from microsoft PR, the others from Sony

Ha ha ha!
Which one is which? You could make arguments for the second or first one being form Sony.

the one thats sweating and screaming works for microsoft

or maybe...

both are from sony, and microsoft is really really disprate for any advice

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here