Escape to the Movies: After Earth

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After Earth

M Night Shyamalan might really want to look into a change of careers.

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Thought this was gonna suck.

And Grumpy cat the movie?

The fuck?

I made a better movie last night, when I ate a pizza in front of my dog with this playing the background.

Fucking Oscar level shit right there.

Well at least you reminded me of one of my favourite MST3K episodes.

That's disappointing. I understand that Will Smith is trying to break his son into the movie business, but it's hard enough acting without having the additional baggage of playing the son of your father. Give him a different actor to be Dad, one he can view as a character, and I think it would be better.

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

"After Earth, nobody can hear the audience scream" There, I made ya a tagline

So.....I was....wrong...there's no twist? There's no "this was Earth in the past" ending?

That...that is depressing.

I had no idea Shyamalan was involved either, guess marketing knows how much of a box-office drain it'd be to crow about that so avoided mentioning it, showing at least someone involved in the movie has some smarts.

Obviously they had to go with Cypher Raige because Edge Maverick had already been used in Star Ocean 4.

Daystar Clarion:
Thought this was gonna suck.

It was hard not to recognize the Signs.

Why am I not surprised? This movie sucks. What did we expect from M. Night Shylaman?

I feel like there was already a Grumpy Cat movie. It was called Garfield. And it SUCKED.

The MST3K thing was what I thought of at first too.

Who knows how M Night Shyamalan can keep making movies, they are not even laughably bad so they can be taken as a joke, just depressing.

I am not sure what, if anything is going to be the stand out for movies in the first part of this century, might start watching more of the movies from the Warner Archive Collection/Fox Classics/et al and see how they made movies back then.

Blunderboy:
Well at least you reminded me of one of my favourite MST3K episodes.

XD I was thinking the same damn thing! Thanks for posting that.

First thing, that name sound like it a gamertag name.

Second thing, this was unexpected as I thought he was going to review The Hangover Part 3 which either way was a lose lost situation for him.

Third thing, as far as I've seen or not paying attention enough, they pretty much never mention M Night was directing this movie. In saying I know they did for one of the first trailers as I clearly remember staying away from the film once his name appear on it.

Fourth thing, I hoping next week review is The Internship (just want his opinion on it as I really hate the premise to that film).

cyvaris:
So.....I was....wrong...there's no twist? There's no "this was Earth in the past" ending?

That...that is depressing.

But it not having a twist, IS THE TWIST!

Hahaha, and to think I was going to watch this.

I sure hope Now You See Me gets reviewed, too.

Thunderous Cacophony:
That's disappointing. I understand that Will Smith is trying to break his son into the movie business, but it's hard enough acting without having the additional baggage of playing the son of your father. Give him a different actor to be Dad, one he can view as a character, and I think it would be better.

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

That kinda shocked me when I heard that line. I doubt it was publicly pronounced because Shyamalan (sic) is basically synonymous for bad directing. Hell, if I saw that he was behind the movie earlier, I would have told everyone that would listen to me to not see this movie.

*topic* I'm definitely gonna give this movie a pass.

was interested in watching it when i saw the trailer of it. well, sounds more like a movie to rent.

I get why Smith turned down Django. Smith is really not the actor who wants to be in a movie that drops the N word over 100 times, and he would have to say 1/4th of them.

When I heard Bob weeping in the pre-opening credits, I though "Oh God, No! After Earth broke Bob! GOD DAMN YOU, M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN!!"

No surprise that this movie was going to suck. M. Night has fallen so far from grace, he's gonna need a rocket ship to get back on top and I highly doubt there is enough fuel to pull that off. Him and Will Smith are just some of the actors I can think of that need take some time off from movies and get their shit together (cannot believe Will passed up Django Unchained). As for junior Will Smith, he needs to take time off if only to either (a) take some acting lessons or (b) reconsider his path in life (other than trying to live up to his father's career).

Plus, the grumpy cat movie news is nothing new. Hollywood these days is trying to find any material that will sustain them. Hell, someone bought the rights from Lloyd Kaufman to remake the Troma classics like Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke 'em High.

To be fair to the Smiths, "flat affect" is the hallmark of every Shyamalan movie ever. They were probably directed in that direction.

I liked Signs.

But this marks the second film of this rough formula this year and for whatever faults Oblivion had, and there were a few, it actually held together long enough to get us to that totally anticlimactic ending, followed by the actual half-way decent ending. Not sure why people are suddenly obsessed with the idea of "Quiet-Earth meets Independence Day meets Omega Man" but... it really doesn't seem to be working.

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Oh thank you, Movie Bob. The trailer looked awful and I wanted an excuse not to have to watch it, and you have delivered.

cyvaris:
So.....I was....wrong...there's no twist? There's no "this was Earth in the past" ending?

That...that is depressing.

That's exactly what I expected the twist to be XD
OT: Man, that's sad. I mean, if only there was a good series about future post-apocalyptic Earth where a cool guy that fights aliens crash lands...
http://myanimelist.net/anime/16524/Suisei_no_Gargantia
Oh wait, there already is :D

Thunderous Cacophony:

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

I wasn't aware of it either

Its really too bad, this movie seemed like it had potential in its previews.

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Man I hate it when his accent comes out, especially when he isn't doing this live, and is just too lazy to go back and record it properly.. What is the point in having an editor if they don't catch inconsistencies and mistakes?

My problem with this film is the same problem that I had with The Karate Kid, it exists solely as something for Jaden Smith to star in.

You said it before Bob. "You can make a good movie about anything."

Not that I think it will be good, but it could be.

As for todays movie, well, that name of his was a bit much......

Jaden Smith is a terrible actor and not there by merit. That said, considering the awful treatment of african americans in Hollywood in previous decades, is it any wonder that when one of the worlds biggest movie stars is african american, he uses nepotism to help out his son? I can't really blame will smith. But I won't be going to see this film either.

anthony87:
My problem with this film is the same problem that I had with The Karate Kid, it exists solely as something for Jaden Smith to star in.

I agree with this in a lot of ways, Jaden Smith is no actor, no matter who his father may be.

Having said that, I've noticed a recent trend with Bob; the movies he slams, I find myself enjoying. So I will still go and see this and I imagine I'll likely have a good time.

Desert Punk:

Thunderous Cacophony:

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

I wasn't aware of it either

Its really too bad, this movie seemed like it had potential in its previews.

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Man I hate it when his accent comes out, especially when he isn't doing this live, and is just too lazy to go back and record it properly.. What is the point in having an editor if they don't catch inconsistencies and mistakes?

I supposed depending on how long the sentence is it can be jarring to properly go in and change it, especially if it might notice more than the odd stray Bostonian twang. Besides, it's not like it's a proper movie, it's just him doing a review and to be fair he does a pretty good job of suppressing it compared to how he actually sounds, you can only suppress your natural accent so much if you're not a professional actor.

OT: What a surprise, I'm not a massive fan of Will Smith at the best of times (I don't know why, I'm just not, so don't call me out on it pwease), but the fact that he wrote it and has himself as a mary sue, with CYPHER RAGE as his name? Oh god why? Please at least tell me everyone else has an equally stupid name.

I'm not really sure how I feel about his son, having only seen him in Karate kid, which I quite liked and he wasn't too bad in that, but he certainly needs to try and distance himself from his father, regardless of how I feel about Will Smith, he is going to be in the shadow of him until he can carve out his own career, and being in 2/4 films with Will in them, really doesn't help matters. He's no GoThrones child actor, but I'd like to think he has potential, and Will Smith helping him out is certainly admirable.

Thorough review; even though I wasn't planning on seeing this anyway it's nice to have my impressions about the trailers justified. Appreciate the final note about Scientology's influence too, that was probably the only thing that made me at all curious about how the movie plays out.

Anyway, good review - except for the horribly Bostonian way you said "Stah Trek: Inta Dahkness" - yeesh.

Blunderboy:
Well at least you reminded me of one of my favourite MST3K episodes.

DAMN YOU AND YOUR CRAFTY NINJA MAGIC!!!!! >:(

Yeah, that montage of over-the-top generic action man names was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard the name "Cypher Raige". My favorite one is "Big McLargehuge".

On a side note...can we please...please...PLEASE get rid of the After Earth ads now? It really pisses me off how it expands and starts playing if you mouse happens to sweep past it while going to something else....

GrumpyCat the movie is just like that ill-fated Caveman series-- you remember, the caveman from the Geico commercials who just couldn't fit in to modern society?

Natural selection got right to work on that one, and it died, badly.

As I think about GrumpyCat, what is really the anthropomorphic hero charachter of this age? We had Benji when I was growing up. Garfield has always been popular. There was that superhero dog I guess.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, while grumpycat will probably be not too good, I commend its owners on the PhatLoot they will obtain, and its probably gonna be better than the father son shamalammalammalawn movie this video discussed.

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

I'm just going to pronounce it that way forever from now on.

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