Escape to the Movies: After Earth

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Desert Punk:

Thunderous Cacophony:

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

I wasn't aware of it either

Its really too bad, this movie seemed like it had potential in its previews.

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Man I hate it when his accent comes out, especially when he isn't doing this live, and is just too lazy to go back and record it properly.. What is the point in having an editor if they don't catch inconsistencies and mistakes?

It is very distracting. I'd rather he just stick with his original accent all the time than the occasional switch back and forth. When it happens I end up thinking more about his accent than what he's saying.

Wait, that's how you pronounce Kitai? I thought his name was basically "kitty rage" and found it hilarious. Now the movie doesn't even have unintentional hilarity going for it.

Aside from that, the movies trailer was too dumb for me to go see it. "Everything on this planet evolved to kill humans" No, Will Smith, they fucking didn't. Humanity left. Why on earth would creatures evolve to kill something which doesn't even live on the fucking planet anymore? That makes zero sense.

Ukomba:

Desert Punk:

Thunderous Cacophony:

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

I wasn't aware of it either

Its really too bad, this movie seemed like it had potential in its previews.

Sixcess:

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Man I hate it when his accent comes out, especially when he isn't doing this live, and is just too lazy to go back and record it properly.. What is the point in having an editor if they don't catch inconsistencies and mistakes?

It is very distracting. I'd rather he just stick with his original accent all the time than the occasional switch back and forth. When it happens I end up thinking more about his accent than what he's saying.

That is how I feel as well, I dont like bostonian accents, but I could get used to one or the other, but going back and forth is far too jaring when I am trying to pay attention.

Given that Cypher Raige (hee hee) has the ability to supress his fear, doesn't it make sense that he's not as emotional as a normal person?

Would this movie be better as a fantasy? A magic stick/sword thing, magic potions instead of science potions, magic suit etc? Everything that seems kinda stupid could be easily explained via magic.

Jetsetneo:

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

I'm just going to pronounce it that way forever from now on.

One day I will manage a boston accent, it's like the one accent I can't frigging manage.

Keeps coming out Polish _

I was hoping this would be good. I felt the concept was pretty solid, or at least very interesting. I guess I can't force my girlfriend to sit through now, especially since I probably won't enjoy it.

RJ 17:

Blunderboy:
Well at least you reminded me of one of my favourite MST3K episodes.

DAMN YOU AND YOUR CRAFTY NINJA MAGIC!!!!! >:(

Yeah, that montage of over-the-top generic action man names was the first thing that came to my mind when I heard the name "Cypher Raige". My favorite one is "Big McLargehuge".

On a side note...can we please...please...PLEASE get rid of the After Earth ads now? It really pisses me off how it expands and starts playing if you mouse happens to sweep past it while going to something else....

Seconded. ESPECIALLY considering how crap the movie is, we don't need the ads telling us about the 2 or 3 good ratings out of a gabillion it got.

I also thought of Space Mutiny BTW. Kind of hard NOT to with a name like Cypher Raige...though for some reason I also had a reference to Cypher 9 pop into my head.

Cypher Raige... Rob Liefeld came up with better names.

Blunderboy:
Well at least you reminded me of one of my favourite MST3K episodes.

There's also Yahtzee's names from CoD:BlOps, after he pointed out the fact that "Alex Mason" is very similar to the "Alec Mason" from Red Faction: Guerrilla:

Gabriel Stone
Dirk Action
John Fist
Blake Shrapnel

I'm so glad Smith turned down Django. Jamie Fox is a much better actor.

zombie711:
I get why Smith turned down Django. Smith is really not the actor who wants to be in a movie that drops the N word over 100 times, and he would have to say 1/4th of them.

That's not why he turned it down. He turned it down because Django's role wasn't big enough for him, and Tarantino refused to make it bigger.

Thunderous Cacophony:

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

That's the twist.

But no, it's logical that it's something producers want to hide at this point.

Desert Punk:

Thunderous Cacophony:

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

I wasn't aware of it either

Its really too bad, this movie seemed like it had potential in its previews.

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Man I hate it when his accent comes out, especially when he isn't doing this live, and is just too lazy to go back and record it properly.. What is the point in having an editor if they don't catch inconsistencies and mistakes?

I love his accent. It's so nice to hear entertainers without generic "Middle American" or "British" accents. It gives his reviews more colour, I find.

im sorry i can't get over the fact that the alien monsters can only find you if you're afraid of them?

that's even dumber than the signs aliens, or even killer pollen. what were the aliens going to do if humanity started using unmanned vehicles to fight them? or androids? or Buddhist monks? or soldiers on Prozac? or soldiers that have had lobotomies? or Space Marines? (they do not feel fear for they are fear incarnate)

Actually i kind of like the androids idea: In a world where monsters hunt us using our own emotions, man kind's last hope if a force of android guardians. But what will happen when one of those androids learns to love?

you could get that girl from twilight to play the android since she'll never have show any emotions anyway. throw in a Data style longing to be human sub plot, some outsider observations on the fallen state of humanity, emo meta commentary on how no one understands her and lots of fighting scenes and bam good movie.

I think that we shouldn't judge Jaden Smith too harshly by this movies. M. Knight Shamalamadingdong has proven to be incredibly talented at making even great actors seem like they dropped out of drama school. Look at your fellow Bostonian Mark Walberg. Nominated for 2 Oscars, 2 Golden Globes and, 3 SAG Awards. The man is a very good actor. Now go watch The Happening. I rest my case and think that if anyone is at fault here it's Will Smith for allowing his son's first real lead to be at the hands of this idiot.

And I am fully behind your tearful plea at the beginning that Shamalan stop making movies.

I like how there was an ad for this movie right next to the video as I was watching it! XD

But yeah, I like Will Smith, but it's not like he hasn't made some bad decisions over time... And yeah, that plot synopsis sounds pretty egotistical of Mr. Smith.

But as for the review, this feels like a really unique review by MovieBob... It's interesting when he adds new stuff to the mix in his reviews, though they usually seem to only be present in movies he REALLY doesn't like.

BTW, I also like the Karate Kid remake.

Wait, where's this news of grumpy cat is getting it's own movie?

Moviebob's right about one thing - that premise and structure COULD make for an interesting setup of a survival/exploration game.

Daystar Clarion:

And Grumpy cat the movie?

The fuck?

Hey, I can't wait to see Garfield's in-all-but-name reboot.

I bet you right now the movie is going to have a carefree-but-oblivious owner, a bat-shit dog that's borderline psychotic, a neighbor kitten whose sole trait is "I'm cute," and grumpy cat will spend the entire movie making sarcastic one liners, delivering poorly timed jokes and mugging for the camera.

Man for a bit I actually thought shamalan might do a not-shit movie for a change but I guess the poor man is gonna die having his lifetime accomplishment be the 6th sense. sad. I agree with bob he should seriously consider another career.

Has anyone other than Bob, actually seen this movie?

So are all of Bob's reviews this summer going to include a jab at Star Trek Into Darkness? Because it looks like he may be headed that way.

Just let it go, Bob. You didn't like the movie; most people did like it. Just like The Amazing Spider-Man.

Also, why spend so much time on making fun of the name "Cypher Raige"? I get it, it's a stupid name for a character, but surely there are better things to spend time on in your review.

Well, guys, it's HAPPENING. I saw the SIGNS. I have a SIXTH SENSE about these type of things. And even an actor like Will Smith with a near-UNBREAKABLE track record couldn't save this mess. M. Night Shyamalan must have made a deal with the DEVIL to keep his job. Either that or Hollywood is run by THE VILLAGE idiot. Let's face it; he's as washed up as an old LADY IN THE WATER. Let's hope this movie is his LAST......... Airbender.

DVS BSTrD:

Daystar Clarion:
Thought this was gonna suck.

It was hard not to recognize the Signs.

Agreed. It's a good bet that anything with Shyamalan will be bad since at this point, he's basically the Village idiot of Hollywood.

OT:
Cypher Raige....
That's on of the funniest things I've seen all day. Thanks Bob.

I think ShamaLama must have scene the MST3K of Space Mutiny, but thought it was actually the brilliant directors commentary.

So there was no TWEEST? That's too bad. I was hoping it was really BEFORE Earth, or something. Though at this point, I suppose no tweest is the real tweest.

[sigh] Well, nuts. I was hoping this one would be somewhat watchable, but then I heard today that M. Night Shayamamlan directed, and my hopes were dashed. Been a while since Will Smith was in a summer blockbuster that wasn't a MIB flick.

UNHchabo:

Blunderboy:
Well at least you reminded me of one of my favourite MST3K episodes.

There's also Yahtzee's names from CoD:BlOps, after he pointed out the fact that "Alex Mason" is very similar to the "Alec Mason" from Red Faction: Guerrilla:

Gabriel Stone
Dirk Action
John Fist
Blake Shrapnel

YES! Thank you! I was waiting for those to pop up again.

cyvaris:
So.....I was....wrong...there's no twist? There's no "this was Earth in the past" ending?

That...that is depressing.

Actually, the way the movie bills it, "This is Earth" is supposed to be the twist. An early-movie twist, sure, but the script does everything it can to not tell us where they're crashing, just that Cypher is both shocked and horrified at the odds of ending-up where they did. Basically, it does the Terminator: Salvation thing of putting the twist in all of the promo material, then playing it straight-faced like we're not supposed to see it coming; maybe even throwing-in a few "but wait" moments to try and get us thinking about what's coming... except we already know.

I was able to see a pre-screening of the movie on Wednesday, and oh my god... I just couldn't stay in it. The plot was just terrible, and the desperate attempt to make their names sound all sci-fi ended-up making it hard to remember what their names were from the few times they were mentioned to the point where I just called them "Will" and "Jayden" because it was the best I could work with. Of course, then the movie ended and there it was: "Directed by M. Night Shyamalan". They had effectively tricked me into going to an M. Night movie, though I don't really blame them for keeping his name out of the promo material. Still, it really makes you think: When a director has such a bad reputation for putting together terrible movies to the point where you need to hide the director's name from your audience... why did you hire him in the first place?

When I first saw the trailer in the theater I was thinking "Will Smith and son trapped on hostile alien planet, battle for survival?" Ok, a bit unimaginative and by-the-numbers but hey maybe they can do something with it.

But every single thing I found out about it since has made it LESS appealing, not more. It's frickin' EARTH? Will is out of the action the whole time? His frickin' name? Shayamalanananana? Oh GOD make it stop.

Yeah... I think most of us saw this one coming. I didn't know M. Night was involved, but it still fits my expectations.

DVS BSTrD:

Daystar Clarion:
Thought this was gonna suck.

It was hard not to recognize the Signs.

Yeah I have a sixth sense about this kind of thing.

anyhoo, I'm sad that my fears about this film were right, I like the hell out of Will Smith but haven't actually enjoyed him in a film since 'I, Robot' and the whole setup for this film seemed clustered and disorganised from the beginning.

Oh and also; Cypher Raige? Realy? Name sounds like it was stolen from Farcry 3: Blood Dragon...

Sixcess:

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

It's played up. That much is obvious. Just like the feigned bemusement that lingered through the intro of this review, and was peppered throughout.

You know what's nice about Yahtzee, is that he doesn't need to play the dancing pig routine to solicit laughs. Bob has been trying too hard lately, and unfortunately it makes the series difficult to watch.

Eliwood10:
So are all of Bob's reviews this summer going to include a jab at Star Trek Into Darkness? Because it looks like he may be headed that way.

Just let it go, Bob. You didn't like the movie; most people did like it. Just like The Amazing Spider-Man.

Also, why spend so much time on making fun of the name "Cypher Raige"? I get it, it's a stupid name for a character, but surely there are better things to spend time on in your review.

He got jammed up on Katniss Everdeen as well, which in retrospect is a damn fine moniker compared to Cypher Raige. Honestly that name is something a nerd comes up in high school while taking his first swing at Sci-Fi writing.

see there it is again..
Bob talks about something i really have no real interest in and he sounds fucking amazing.

I've felt iffy on this movie and I'd hate to think Bob's review is what is gonna make me go "skip!" sense i generally don't agree with a damn thing he ever says....

but the alternative is watching this lol. Truth be told I didn't even know about the aliens and yes it sounds like a bummer their just back ground. See there it is... Bob sounds 100 percent right.. only i haven't seen the movie and this is the guy who'd have trouble steering a car of a cliff.

I'm gonna pass... only cause we both know this movie will be tnt 2 years from now maybe 3.. i'll be flipping channels... and I might give this movie it's due.

and yes I know Movie bobs boston accent to. It's fun at times.

hay bob i hate you alot.. like alot, alot. That said fuck any of your fans who don't like who you are or how you really sound.

be you.

I wish escapist would use video formats that work on my phone. Was looking forward to this

Hellfireboy:
I think that we shouldn't judge Jaden Smith too harshly by this movies. M. Knight Shamalamadingdong has proven to be incredibly talented at making even great actors seem like they dropped out of drama school. Look at your fellow Bostonian Mark Walberg. Nominated for 2 Oscars, 2 Golden Globes and, 3 SAG Awards. The man is a very good actor. Now go watch The Happening. I rest my case and think that if anyone is at fault here it's Will Smith for allowing his son's first real lead to be at the hands of this idiot.

And I am fully behind your tearful plea at the beginning that Shamalan stop making movies.

On the other hand, M Night brought out two of the best performances that Bruce Willis has done and one of Mel Gibbson's best in years.

DeaDRabbiT:

You know what's nice about Yahtzee,

He'll die one day? painfully? He's funny that's it LOL. He has no other quality than he's funny. don't get me wrong that's alot... It's why i put up with him...
it sure isn't for his insight.

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