Zero Punctuation: Next Gen Buyer's Guide

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I try to avoid being pessimistic. But it is difficult to get excited for the coming generation as it stands now. Here's hoping E3 turns out fun!

This has got to be the best episode I have seen in a long time.

He's really getting in all the zingers about Nintendo and the lack of games, PS3 and their social network, recording and communication. Oh and The Xbox and its... entire console...

Time to look back through the archive and see how this episode compares with his last evaluation of 'next-gen' consoles goes. I'm guessing it's almost identical in feel if not in details.

That said, the cynicism has a certain appeal. Maybe it's because I'm older and more jaded, or maybe this is the first step on the road to Video Game Apocalypse.

Hah, I love these kinds of episodes, I think they are a nice break from the normal formula. I like the point near the end about how older consoles didn't need to be marketed in the way the next gen seems to be because it was basically "Buy this and you can play this game you like", whereas now they actually need to convince us to want it, because they don't seem to grasp why most people buy the damn things in the first place.

It was a very funny video, easily the best in a while.

May the console war begin... err, continue as usual!

I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

So Nintendo would be winning if they had games? Well at least their problem seems the most solvable.

I actually enjoyed this episode, Rewatching.

Are you ready?
Yeah, you think you can tell us what to do (with a console)?
You think you can tell us what to play?
You think that your better (then what we have now)?
Well you better get ready
To bow to the master (race)
Break it down!

heh, a Star Trek: Next Generations reference. I caught it because I just watched that episode on my Wii U which has this really awesome and addictive game called Netflix on it. Unlike the Xbox 360 version it's free-to-play (well you only pay the one fee, not two).

Yahtzee's right though, the Wii needs games...and not games from last year that everyone can agree were good last year but ya know...new games. Why bother releasing a console before everyone else if you don't have the muscle to back it up?

He's complaining now and says that people shouldn't buy the next-gen console, but he already has a WiiU and he will get an Xbone and PS4 for his reviews, if not for himself.
I agree with him, but I'd like to see people taking a stand - especially known game critics.

Consoles have held games that I like hostage before, but I never got those consoles because I know that I shouldn't have to use multiple gaming platforms - I have one, my PC, and that's enough.

Wouldn't it be nice if corporations actually were made to suffer for acting anti-consumer? And just to be clear, I classify anything as anti-consumer if it is meant to benefit the corporation (i.e. releasing new hardware with the purpose of stealing all the profits away from retailers from used game sales), and greatly inconveniences the consumer or vastly changes the way in which consumers purchase / enjoy products in a negative fashion.

Next gen, don't buy it.

Not buying a next gen console is right up at the top of my list actually. Besides, with the $500+ they would probably cost I couldn't really justify the price over just building a new computer that I can upgrade piecemeal as the need arises...oh and that doesn't have all the intrusive software the next gen consoles will come with...oh and that doesn't require a second subscription to watch netflix...etc...

yeah, not too excited about the next gen.

Well, with Ps4 you don't have to play online, and the whole sharing thingy is completely optional, with fun looking games announced for it... Is Yahtzee not that much in the loop or does he deliberately not mention such stuff for these videos? I'd think he'd be somewhat looking forward to Ps4, after all he always seemed to like InFamous which is just one of the launch titles set for Ps4.

I already have 500 set aside for a next gen console, I'm just waiting for E3 to see weather I should give my 500 to sony or microsoft. If I had to choose now I've give it to sony since they are no where as big a-holes as microsoft is at the moment.

I thought Yahtzee would be excited for a new Infamous seeing how he loved the previous games.

E-Penguin:
I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

They're probably quite similar to the ones he makes...

"Don't". I think that's the conclusion of most people at the moment

CAPTCHA: "Basket case". They all mate

Yeah..."DON'T" seems to adequately describe my feelings for the next gen consoles right now. So far, I haven't seen any games I really want for the WiiU, so forget that console...I've never gotten a PS3 since I haven't seen a lot of good enough games for it that haven't already been released for the XBOX 360 I already have, so forget the PS4 for the same reason...

...and XBOX One? Let's just say I refuse to spend money on any people who clearly hate their consumers enough to not let them actually play the damn thing without so many strings attached it looks like a drunk person's attempt at Cat's Cradle.

CAPTCHA: rain go away

O_O

It is actually raining right now where I live. HOW DID IT KNOW?!? *hides from the Captcha now*

Doom972:
He's complaining now and says that people shouldn't buy the next-gen console, but he already has a WiiU and he will get an Xbone and PS4 for his reviews, if not for himself.
I agree with him, but I'd like to see people taking a stand - especially known game critics.

Consoles have held games that I like hostage before, but I never got those consoles because I know that I shouldn't have to use multiple gaming platforms - I have one, my PC, and that's enough.

That's a silly idea. How can game critics call a console and/or its games shit without trying them? The ultimate insult would be to only give critics these games consoles and then have them stomp so hard all over them that no-one else buys them.

the more i learn about the next gen the more i love my ps2. Those were the good old days when only being able to play games and watch dvds was enough. time to build my new pc

E-Penguin:
I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

He's written an Extra Punctuation on it before, and he does his own LPs with his friend Gabriel. EDIT: The Blood on the Sand one he mentions in the article was particularly amusing for me, got me to watch all of the other LPs Chip & Ironicus do.

OT: Funny stuff. I'd actually be more inclined to side toward Sony though; They may be less desperate, but they also seem to only be shooting their foot, rather than frantically trying to blow off the entire leg to stem the flow of blood from the first few shots. Or hell, maybe even Nintendo. They'll eventually get some games I'm actually interested in, and they seem to be the only major console manufacturer that remembers what a console is supposed to do (even if they've added their own online social media things too).

I predict the next gen consoles are going to get majorly redesigned after their products fall into the abyss of failure.

Yyyyyyyeah.

I tend to give Sony the benefit for seeming to have announced the console with the most avoidable/ignorable new "features" (heavy scare quotes) of the three. But I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop- to find out that Sony is also, as has been hypothesized, planning on taking an axe to the used game market, or plans on interrupting your gameplay to show you advertisements, or... whatever nightmarish anti-consumer malevolence a clever marketing department can come up with that challenges my own limited imagination.

But then, Microsoft seems to have gone all-in on the idea of re-arranging the world so everything you want to do on the hardware and software you foolishly thought you bought because you gave them a bunch of money for it has to go back through them as some sort of Middleman God. And that, my friends, is an idea that needs to be taken out to a field and shot before it gives anyone else ideas. Or possibly rabies.

Nintendo's fumbling about seems almost cute by comparison. But as I said, that's where we are: it's not a generation of "wow, it will do that?" so much as "who will @$#% us over the least?"

*insert clappy man gif here*

Spot on old bean.

Well, you managed to sum up my feelings about the whole gen so far pretty well. Only an exclusive that I desperately have to play will make me buy one.

Jman1236:
I already have 500 set aside for a next gen console, I'm just waiting for E3 to see weather I should give my 500 to sony or microsoft. If I had to choose now I've give it to sony since they are no where as big a-holes as microsoft is at the moment.

500? I hope you mean 500 pounds for Microsoft, because it's set to cost 599 pounds (or a little over 900 US$)

The "Texas Hold'em" metaphor was rather accurate. It's like these companies are more afraid of making a mistake than actually promoting their products. As a result, they end up botching their reveals anyway. Certainly seems like a lose-lose situation. And with no bad beat pot to split between the players.

And the "holding something I want hostage" metaphor was also spot on. While considering the new generation of consoles, I kept finding myself rationalizing, "Well, if _____ system gets _____ game, I'll consider buying one." But really, it is more-or-less a hostage situation.

Do I have Stockholm Syndrome?

It occurs to me that Yahtzee might have even more reason to bitch. He's imported games before to get around fucked up Australian release dates, but it suddenly occurs to me that used games shenanigans may prevent imports altogether...

I say that Sony looks to be the strongest contender so far, as I figured the "share" button could be utterly ignored and notifications for it could be turned off the same way my Xbox lets me turn off notifications. Glad to see someone else here gives weight to that idea.

shrekfan246:

E-Penguin:
I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

He's written an Extra Punctuation on it before, and he does his own LPs with his friend Gabriel. EDIT: The Blood on the Sand one he mentions in the article was particularly amusing for me, got me to watch all of the other LPs Chip & Ironicus do.

I've watched his LPs already, but thanks for linking me the article!

Too bad he hasn't uploaded a new one recently, though.

Well put. Whenever I see anyone attempting a console war with this new generation, I sigh a little more than usual.

Captcha is "red herring." That does appear to be what the next console generation is in regard to gaming.

His criticisms of the PS4 seemed rather forced, IMO. He basically talked about optional features as if they were manditory, and gave no credit to it not needing to be online to play games, not blocking used games, and already having some strong exclusives lined up. (Such as Infamous Second Son, a series he really likes) But whatever, bashing things is what pays his bills.

I'm getting the feeling that Nintendo has the best chance of doing well mostly because Sony and MS have forgotten that they're making GAME consoles. Nintendo's problem is that, once again, they trusted backstabbing third parties to actually take advantage of Nintendo holding back their big titles. If Nintendo had REALLY wanted to they could have released quite a few first party titles to fill in the release holes, but then 3rd parties would throw a tantrum and stamp their feet about their games not selling because of Nintendo's titles.

And the thing that makes me laugh the most is this: people whined and moaned about NEEDING a new generation and now it's come to bite them. MS is stumbling, backtracking, and flip-flopping on what the XBone is doing while Sony has cemented the fact that the next generation is NOT going to be a gigantic leap like the PS2 to the PS3 was. And no, PCs aren't going to be THAT much more powerful either. Heck, I barely think it matters when I very much doubt devs are going to use all that power for legitimate game innovation

IT suck that I already bought a Wii U, it's just that Wind Waker HD is that one game I really really want to play. Why not just play the original Wind Waker you ask? Because my GameCube is breaking and my copy of Wind Waker is already broken.

Crazycat690:
I'd think he'd be somewhat looking forward to Ps4, after all he always seemed to like InFamous which is just one of the launch titles set for Ps4.

One of the reasosn he liked inFamous 2 was that it had a clear, desicive ending. It story wasn't stretched out to become a big franchise zombie, it was tight, and it had a satisfying ending that tied everything up so we wouldn't have to buy a sequel just to see what was happening.

Then they made a sequel of it anyway.

*head-desk*

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