Zero Punctuation: Next Gen Buyer's Guide

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I would very much like it if I could switch to PC gaming, but unfortunately any electronic device I cant use without physically touching it seems to die very quickly...keys stop working, software very quickly degrades and then they overheat and explode.

So I will probably hold out for as long as possible re-playing old games, then bite the bullet and buy whichever console has the least awful selection of games at the time.

What has console gaming come to?

Ha! "DON'T" XD

I think it would be more useful to say, "not just yet" wait till Xmas, that's my Philosophy on Consoles anyway.

zefiris:
A while ago, people said their console was great because it had X featured and Y games.
This time, even the fanboys fight the console wars by saying that their console doesn't have crappy feature XY. It's...fascinating.

This is so true, the best we can do this gen is say "well my soup doesn't have green shit in it and yours does". That's sad.

Welcome back kids to another edition of "New Generation Hatred", a joyous occasion where the next generation is hated because it seems different than the old one. Then a bunch of people will buy it, it'll slowly faze out the majority of the old consoles, and everyone will get used to it and forget they hated it because there are other things to complain about. Then the next series will be announced and lo the cycle will start anew.

I actually think the PS4 is looking pretty good. Got better hardware to make bigger games and its structure has changed to make it easier to develop for. Heck, sony is even putting there best effort to get more indie games on there and they seem to be really trying to do good this generation. Plus whats so wrong with an optional share button? Its related to gaming and its kinda cool

irishda:
Welcome back kids to another edition of "New Generation Hatred", a joyous occasion where the next generation is hated because it seems different than the old one. Then a bunch of people will buy it, it'll slowly faze out the majority of the old consoles, and everyone will get used to it and forget they hated it because there are other things to complain about. Then the next series will be announced and lo the cycle will start anew.

so so true. Why does this have to happen every gen

I think he should have addressed the backwards compatibility issues in this (as not everyone reads Extra Punctuation or watches Rhymedown).

Eetinam:
Sony shows some good games (Maybe a certain guardian, a guardian that's the last of his kind maybe) I'll buy one.

I swear, it's only gonna take one more year for that game to get vaporware status.

irishda:
Welcome back kids to another edition of "New Generation Hatred", a joyous occasion where the next generation is hated because it seems different than the old one.

Nice strawman. In fact I dislike it because it's nothing, it's not too samey or too different, it's nothing.

Every console previously has offered something more, not less.

Wake me after the crash. I figure after the video game industry finishes shitting its kidneys out from the massive enema it's desperate needing, we'll finally be able to get back to simplicity where we actually obtain the one thing we've always wanted most from the video game industry, decent games for a decent price without all the bullshit.

I'll just do what I always do. Fold my arms and wait for something I'd actually play to come out, then make the choice based on what I know of the console by that point. I've never had any real console loyalty, I just go with whatever looks good at the time of buying. Right now I'm sort of edging away from the Xbox One and the WiiU is not something I have any interest in, so Sony will probably be back to taking my money after a long pause.

That being said, it'll be a good while before I even touch those things...mostly until I know what the next Dark Souls game will be on.

kenu12345:

irishda:
Welcome back kids to another edition of "New Generation Hatred", a joyous occasion where the next generation is hated because it seems different than the old one. Then a bunch of people will buy it, it'll slowly faze out the majority of the old consoles, and everyone will get used to it and forget they hated it because there are other things to complain about. Then the next series will be announced and lo the cycle will start anew.

so so true. Why does this have to happen every gen

Believe it or not, there was once a time when people were looking forward to the next generation. It's just that lately, far too much BS has been added to the mix.

This is kinda where I'm at. I still only have one current gen console- a 360. I have no reason to get a xbox one or PS4. Maybe im in the minority on this one, but I don't think the current gen is done with. I see no reason for a whole new gen of consoles!

This is kinda where I'm at. I still only have one current gen console- a 360. I have no reason to get a xbox one or PS4. Maybe im in the minority on this one, but I don't think the current gen is done with. I see no reason for a whole new gen of consoles!

Honestly, none of the newer consoles appeal to me in the same way that the PS2 originally did (I did not even buy a PS3 until nearly 3 years after its release). The WiiU is, as Yahtzee said, unimpressive in the game line up. PS4, knowing SONY's tradition, will likely suck at launch and will take at least a year or two before the really good games start coming out. And the Xbox One? Yeah, I'm sorry Microsoft but you really dropped the ball at that presentation.

I'll give SONY some credit, in that they're also trying to ensure the PS Vita doesn't die out by making sure most of their PS4 games can be remote played with it. But, that assumes people actually want to buy the Vita in the first place.

Yopaz:
This has got to be the best episode I have seen in a long time.

He's really getting in all the zingers about Nintendo and the lack of games, PS3 and their social network, recording and communication. Oh and The Xbox and its... entire console...

Exactly. The only sad part about all of this is that there are children (and man-children) that believe every single word Yahtzee says as absolute truth that a game sucks to all ends or that a game is the pinnacle of gaming, instead of being the hilarious comedy of a review show it is.

Then we get 20 pages of nothing but morons on Facebook yelling, "PC GAMING IS AWESOME FUCK YOU WANKERS!"

I agree with everything in the video, and I think the odds of this console generation causing another industry crash are pretty high.

I've loved console gaming since the 8-bit era, and have usually had more than one machine per generation, but with the way things look for the next gen I've decided to build a dedicated games pc and attach it to my tv. With the console architecture aligning with PCs, ports should be better than during the current gen, and the specs are much closer to an average rig than in previous generations.

Consoles have lost pretty much all the advantages they once had: they're expensive (especially when adding in extra costs like subscriptions and peripherals, and overall higher price of games), they're almost as much hassle (I have to enter a code for almost every game I play, install it to the HD, (re-)download updates, etc.), and are likely to restrict what I do with my games (used game restrictions/can't lend).

With both the PS4 and XBox One lacking backwards compatibility, there's literally no incentive for me to stick with them on account of my existing library. I'll miss out on a few exclusives but they are mostly going to be sequels to long in the tooth franchises like Halo and Gears anyway.

geizr:
Wake me after the crash. I figure after the video game industry finishes shitting its kidneys out from the massive enema it's desperate needing, we'll finally be able to get back to simplicity where we actually obtain the one thing we've always wanted most from the video game industry, decent games for a decent price without all the bullshit.

The industry won't crash.

You know this, so why do you keep insisting that it does?

Strain42:
I know it's not really fair to say this since the PS4 and XBO were only recently announced and haven't had the time to show off some of their games, but I think if I'm gonna buy any next gen consoles at all, it would be the Wii U.

I always hear people going "But it doesn't have any games!" and that may be true...but I know it's got a lot of stuff coming out that I'm going to want.

Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem, Yarn Yoshi, Super Luigi U, Super Smash Bros. 4, Rayman Legends, Game & Wario and that's just off the top of my head.

Honestly, I know it varies from person to person, but the Wii U has been announcing more games I have any interest in playing than we've gotten from the 360 in the past few years now.

But my rules for buying ANY console is that it has to have at least 10 titles I want before I consider buying it (and at least 5 must be console exclusive)

So I'm not really in any rush to buy any of the consoles right now.

Just that if I was to get any, the Wii U is currently the most likely.

Yeah, Nintendo will solve that problem by the end of the year and suddenly we'll all be wondering why people were ever demanding for Iwata's head on a silver platter. People said the same crap with the DS, the Wii, and the 3DS and every time they had to eat their words when sales picked up and titles kept coming. 3rd parties never get to fact that Nintendo's titles are indeed the system sellers for growing an install base...but even diehard Nintendo fans want something between 1st party titles. It's why stuff like RE: Revelations can succeed if the devs and pubs actually put some EFFORT into it. Heck, one of the most hotly anticipated titles for the 3DS right now is SMTIV. By end of the year the Wii U will be getting a bigger install base and suddenly third parties might want to be eyeing other avenues

DVS BSTrD:

Are you ready?
Yeah, you think you can tell us what to do (with a console)?
You think you can tell us what to play?
You think that your better (then what we have now)?
Well you better get ready
To bow to the master (race)
Break it down!

'CONSOLE DISGRACE'
lug ft, 'dvs'

it's a disgrace in the face of the master race!
outta pace outta space in the console race
'insert obnoxious techno bebop nonsense'

Chorous:
Are you ready?
Yeah, you think you can tell us what to do (with a console)?
You think you can tell us what to play?
You think that your better (then what we have now)?
Well you better get ready
To bow to the master (race)
Break it down!

sony's playing the safety dance, step left, step right
we got ram and a stick suckkas! that's right.
stick your social media innn the fight
beep, beep, split screen! ya'll got friends, er right?

Chorous:
Are you ready?
Yeah, you think you can tell us what to do (with a console)?
You think you can tell us what to play?
You think that your better (then what we have now)?
Well you better get ready
To bow to the master (race)
Break it down!

nintendon't know, what to do, they forgot the games
'whopety doo' it's got touch and sound,
gyro's 'n' stuff.. NFC what the reader's for?
sounds ( to me ) like a pile of fluff.

bloop blip, flippty trip.

Chorus:
Are you ready?
Yeah, you think you can tell us what to do (with a console)?
You think you can tell us what to play?
You think that your better (then what we have now)?
Well you better get ready
To bow to the master (race)
Break it down!

Micro, soft in the brain fliped out locked down
your money in the drain! boo hoo f%^$ you
we got hal 9000 stuck in the cloud, just..
DEAL WITH IT!

you did... red ring... oh, 'sigh' well s%^*

Yep, it's pretty terrible and with great effort it might be as bad as this generation..
( with allot of effort ).

geizr:

kenu12345:

irishda:
Welcome back kids to another edition of "New Generation Hatred", a joyous occasion where the next generation is hated because it seems different than the old one. Then a bunch of people will buy it, it'll slowly faze out the majority of the old consoles, and everyone will get used to it and forget they hated it because there are other things to complain about. Then the next series will be announced and lo the cycle will start anew.

so so true. Why does this have to happen every gen

Believe it or not, there was once a time when people were looking forward to the next generation. It's just that lately, far too much BS has been added to the mix.

And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

When it comes to my relationship to consoles, I describe myself as being like a recessive gene trait. I usually skip a generation.

That "Don't!" at the end is exactly my thoughts for this generation.

Fuck this new generation - the market cannot support this new avalanche of shovelware mid-crash.

CRASH already! So we can be RID of the garbage and freshen things up!

sadly the things you said abou kinect are right.
reality is far more crass than your idea, which you might thing of as overexaggerated-but it is not.
its worse.

it WILL take notes- on how much people are in the room and THEN it will shut down the thinsg(eh movies) you &your pals watch until you entered your credit-card number or bought enough points to pay 3 times more because you and 2 other people are in the room adn none of the other people bought the movie you want to see.
and because they did not bought the movie, you have to -for them.

big brother 2.0 was never so real as with the: always on+ face recognition+ heart-rate monitoring+people counting(and via face recognition identifying)money demanding+room surveiling +motion detecting (and seeing how much force you apply if you hit the pal next to you because he makes too much noise with his popcorn) kinect.

micoroft filed a patent for this technology. and for applying the technology on pc and smartphones if you connect the big-brother 2.0 with it.

full patent:

i urge you to read it, most important are point:1, 5, 6, 8,9, 12, 13-14, 15-18

http://appft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=%2220120278904%22.PGNR.&OS=DN/20120278904&RS=DN/20120278904

Capitano Segnaposto:
Then we get 20 pages of nothing but morons on Facebook yelling, "PC GAMING IS AWESOME FUCK YOU WANKERS!"

There's nobody on Facebook but morons anyway. Who cares what they end up saying?

Red X:
Ha! "DON'T" XD

I think it would be more useful to say, "not just yet" wait till Xmas, that's my Philosophy on Consoles anyway.

That is when the consoles will be released. At least around that time. I suggest waiting until at least 5 of these 5 criteria are met:

1.) Find out the Release Date and Price of Console
2.) Find out the release Date Games
3.) Figure out which games you want for it, when they come out, and if they have a high probability of getting pushed back.
4.) Buy Only if it has 3 or more "Must-Have" Games that are either Exclusive or the definitive versions
5.) Make sure it doesn't watch you as you sleep.

Steve the Pocket:

Capitano Segnaposto:
Then we get 20 pages of nothing but morons on Facebook yelling, "PC GAMING IS AWESOME FUCK YOU WANKERS!"

There's nobody on Facebook but morons anyway. Who cares what they end up saying?

:(

I am on Facebook...

/cry

kenu12345:

Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

They have shown what they have

PS4
-a new controller
-no backwards compatibility
-social integration

Xbone
-no backwards compatibility
-voice commands
-a required peripheral (that no one wants)
-possible online requirements

kenu12345:

geizr:

kenu12345:

so so true. Why does this have to happen every gen

Believe it or not, there was once a time when people were looking forward to the next generation. It's just that lately, far too much BS has been added to the mix.

And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

I really am sick of people telling us to wait before we criticize? Wait for what? First it was wait for the Xbone reveal, wait till the Wii U launches to criticize it and so on. This is just a game of "cross this line", "now this line" and it never ends.

Let me ask you, can we criticize the Wii yet or should we wait until they discontinue them?

Lovely Mixture:

kenu12345:

Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

They have shown what they have

PS4
-a new control
-no backwards compatibility
-social integration

Xbone
-no backwards compatibility
-voice commands
-a required peripheral (that no one wants)
-possible online requirements

They have revealed part of it and you are omitting the upgraded hardware. I get the lack of backwards compatiblity but whats so wrong with having a share feature for those who want it. Also, maybe im not quite reading it right but whats a new control? Dont forget the wii u too

We all know the winner of the next gen race will be Sega after a dramatic and sudden increase of interest in the Dreamcast. Shenmue III, here we come!

To me it seems the PS4 is set to become the market leader in this next generation. That or PC.

WeepingAngels:

kenu12345:

geizr:

Believe it or not, there was once a time when people were looking forward to the next generation. It's just that lately, far too much BS has been added to the mix.

And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

I really am sick of people telling us to wait before we criticize? Wait for what? First it was wait for the Xbone reveal, wait till the Wii U launches to criticize it and so on. This is just a game of "cross this line", "now this line" and it never ends.

Let me ask you, can we criticize the Wii yet or should we wait until they discontinue them?

I'm saying wait til you actually get more information on it. I remember people condemning the systems just based on rumors and it annoyed the hell out of me. Yes, I agree the xbox's features that have been annouced are stupid and deserve to be called out. Go right ahead but dont condemn something for things that it never has even mentioned or that are completly optional

I agree with Yahtzee's point on the editing thing. I do Let's plays on 2 sites, Game Anyone and YouTube, and we need to be able to edit our footage before putting it up. If I am still able to use an HD PVR on say the PS4 then I'm set, but I don't know if the PS4 will have component support, and if it's HDMI only then I hope they don't HDCP encrypt the HDMI port again.
Out of the new consoles the PS4 and Wii U look the strongest, but the Wii U still needs games and the problem is that the gap between games being made for it is really bad. Well not too long before E3 so hopefully all the unknown things are revealed about the two consoles I still care for.
In other news the Xbone really has to do quite a bit to make itself look appealing to me.

kenu12345:

WeepingAngels:

kenu12345:
And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

I really am sick of people telling us to wait before we criticize? Wait for what? First it was wait for the Xbone reveal, wait till the Wii U launches to criticize it and so on. This is just a game of "cross this line", "now this line" and it never ends.

Let me ask you, can we criticize the Wii yet or should we wait until they discontinue them?

I'm saying wait til you actually get more information on it. I remember people condemning the systems just based on rumors and it annoyed the hell out of me. Yes, I agree the xbox's features that have been annouced are stupid and deserve to be called out. Go right ahead but dont condemn something for things that it never has even mentioned or that are completly optional

Why can't we talk about the information that we already have?

We know the Xbone will use Steam type DRM. We know that Microsoft has not only broken into to the used game market, but seeks to completely control it (for Xbone games). We know that the Wii U has few games that people want. We know that the Wii U controller is not that appealing to most people. We know that Sony is giving us a Share button right on the controller.

WeepingAngels:
Why can't we talk about the information that we already have?

We know the Xbone will use Steam type DRM. We know that Microsoft has not only broken into to the used game market, but seeks to completely control it (for Xbone games). We know that the Wii U has few games that people want. We know that the Wii U controller is not that appealing to most people. We know that Sony is giving us a Share button right on the controller.

Did you read what I said? "Yes, I agree the xbox's features that have been annouced are stupid and deserve to be called out. Go right ahead but dont condemn something for things that it never has even mentioned or that are completly optional" Games are easily fixed and a share button really? Who cares it doesnt magnetically move your finger on that button. Its something thats completly optional aimed at people who wants to do lets play and hey whats so wrong with that? On an off note I suck with editing quotes yippy

Guessed the punchline word for word before pressing the play button. It was a funny video, but it was a lot liking watching someone read off a script that I've already read.

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