Zero Punctuation: Next Gen Buyer's Guide

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I took someone's advice and went back and watched the first console rundown Yahtzee ever did. One thing that struck me immediately was that he at least had good things to say about every console, like even he had some glimmer of hope for them. Even the Wii, a venture that he notoriously despises had some promise of being a fun platform once it had the proper games made for it.

It actually made me sad, it made me wish that we were looking at another generation like the 7th gen again. The worst we had to worry about when 7th gen rolled around was that the consoles wouldn't have enough fun games or the consoles being perhaps a bit too expensive or the backwards compatibility being a bit sketchy. Oh play our past selves the proper sized violin that our luxury item may perhaps cost a bit more than we had budgeted for ourselves.

Now look at the shit-cake we've been served, always-on, can't play used games, can't use a controller from past-gen, can't keep the console from watching you, and can't keep your smarmy friends from watching you suck at video games. I can't even imagine how the console rundown video would have been if this was the entourage of "features" that was trotted out last gen. I imagine it would just be a thirty second video of him impaling himself on a sharpened dual-shock.

well i'm out.

been thinking about it anyway.

don't want wants being sold, don't have money to waste on making these morons richer and i have have a backlog of games to play that still be half as high after i'm dead.

gonna be fun to sit back and watch what happens when they stick smart phones into all the HDTVs halfway through this console generation tho...i can practically hear the tire screeches off in the distance already.

Capitano Segnaposto:

geizr:
Wake me after the crash. I figure after the video game industry finishes shitting its kidneys out from the massive enema it's desperate needing, we'll finally be able to get back to simplicity where we actually obtain the one thing we've always wanted most from the video game industry, decent games for a decent price without all the bullshit.

The industry won't crash.

You know this, so why do you keep insisting that it does?

I'm not insisting that this will happen; no one, not even me, knows the future so well. If anything, my posting history (I'm assuming you went back and researched my past posts, since you are asserting that I keep insisting this) has been more an insistence that it needs it to clear the crap. Regardless, you are free to disagree.

Video Review: Dick Tree (10/10)
Analysis: M$ disappears up it's own ass. $ony is waiting to see how that works out for M$. Leaving Ninturdo in the drivers seat, with no games.
Final Conclusion: PCs rule the 'verse again!

The next gen consoles are just like the current gen consoles:
XBOX = Over confident dickhead
PS4 = Intelligent but annoying nerd
WiiU = ADHD child on crack cocaine
I believe that anyone who still have a shred of dignity and self-respect should buy a gaming PC if they wanting an upgrade from the current gen consoles because console gaming was fun but the shirts have suck all the fun out of owning a console and now it's just another soulless consumer good that "Casual Gamers" will blindly buy because they have no idea what being a gamer is all about.

kenu12345:

geizr:

kenu12345:

so so true. Why does this have to happen every gen

Believe it or not, there was once a time when people were looking forward to the next generation. It's just that lately, far too much BS has been added to the mix.

And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

Yes, there has always been naysayers in every generation. However, in the past, these dissenting opinions were a much smaller fraction of the total voice of the gaming market. Recently, it seems the dissonance has increased, proportionally, hence the reason for my position that people were more looking forward to the next generation in the past than is apparently true today.

geizr:

kenu12345:

geizr:

Believe it or not, there was once a time when people were looking forward to the next generation. It's just that lately, far too much BS has been added to the mix.

And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

Yes, there has always been naysayers in every generation. However, in the past, these dissenting opinions were a much smaller fraction of the total voice of the gaming market. Recently, it seems the dissonance has increased, proportionally, hence the reason for my position that people were more looking forward to the next generation in the past than is apparently true today.

Ah yes but you fail to account for one thing. With more and more people using the internet now a days, We hear more about this and are more likely to hear false rumors. This is doubled when you get on a site with people that are generally on that site for sharing a similar opinion.

kenu12345:

geizr:

kenu12345:
And believe it or not there were still false rumors and people yelling at the top of their voices that this would be the end of gaming. Just want everyone to wait and at least check out what the new gen has to offer before yelling that it sucks before knowing it. It's annoying.

Yes, there has always been naysayers in every generation. However, in the past, these dissenting opinions were a much smaller fraction of the total voice of the gaming market. Recently, it seems the dissonance has increased, proportionally, hence the reason for my position that people were more looking forward to the next generation in the past than is apparently true today.

Ah yes but you fail to account for one thing. With more and more people using the internet now a days, We hear more about this and are more likely to hear false rumors. This is doubled when you get on a site with people that are generally on that site for sharing a similar opinion.

Notice the word "proportionally". I'm accounting for the Internet in my statement.

"Does it seem to anyone else like yahtzee has gotten less cynical?" - Some people

"Nope." - Bliebblob, in response to some people

"Dolphin Shaggers"...I don't even want to consider what sort of motion-controls are necessary for that.
(you think Kinect is scary now, how about two hard-mounted in opposite ends of a swimming pool and GAH! OUT OF MY BRAIN DAMN YOU!)

This new console generation, more than any other I've bore witness to; seems to be based more on what the gamer cannot do rather than what the console can do for the gamer.

The WiiU has no games on it. Can't play games that aren't there.
The Xbone is a vile cocktail of consumer-hating practices. Can't resell games without getting jacked; can't play games without connecting to the internet in some manner, can't remove that fucking Kinect from the equation (the Xbone requires it to function; you can still unplug it).

The PS4 looks the best only by virtue of Sony keeping us largely in the dark. I have little to no information on what the player can't do because I can only make guesses about what the device can do; outside of some social media bullshit.

(At least it seems Sony learned some humility since last generation and aren't touting themselves as King Shit of the gaming world.)

It's sad and a bit scary when the Vita and 3DS are the best "next-gen console" offerings by virtue of being the least dickish, and it's questionable if they should really count.

geizr:

kenu12345:

geizr:

Yes, there has always been naysayers in every generation. However, in the past, these dissenting opinions were a much smaller fraction of the total voice of the gaming market. Recently, it seems the dissonance has increased, proportionally, hence the reason for my position that people were more looking forward to the next generation in the past than is apparently true today.

Ah yes but you fail to account for one thing. With more and more people using the internet now a days, We hear more about this and are more likely to hear false rumors. This is doubled when you get on a site with people that are generally on that site for sharing a similar opinion.

Notice the word "proportionally". I'm accounting for the Internet in my statement.

Yes, but the internet was not a large place for opinions back then and thus you were less likely to here as much people complain. Now a days you can hear an overblown opinion on about everything. Lest I remind you of the one games controversy *cough cough*

I've avoided PC gaming for YEARS in spite of the begging of many friends simply because consoles were just simpler.

Thanks to all of the announcements this year I've bought nothing but Steam games for months. That may not be a big deal to any of you, but it's a huge difference to me, and Big N/Sony/M$ have pushed me there.

I seem to be taking Yahtzee's advice on this gen - for the time being, at least.

Although I knew what you were going to say, Yahtzee, it was entertaining getting to the destination. I'm having a hard enough time justifying a PC upgrade, let alone a new console. And buying a console just to play a single game... I used to lament that over spending $600 in hardware for a $60 game. Since 2006.

If the WiiU had games, no one would buy it. If the WiiU had a fancy new gimmick that's not like the tablet that everyone already owns, then N would cruise along to another victory on the USS Casual, but...that ship has sailed. Oh, and what happens when the WiiU does get games. Well, good luck downloading a game on your 8 gig hdd. A tablet controller and an 8 gig hdd....very innovative.

He pretty much had to throw in the PS4 despite there absolutely being nothing wrong with it. Don't won't to appear to be too fanboyish. What's wrong with the PS4? Oh...a share button and multimedia functions. What's right with it? everything else? Let's not mention that.

And of course the the Xbone. Enough said.

So I guess for the sake of funny, and maybe the fact that none of the consoles can top the year the PS3 is having...well..

geizr:

Capitano Segnaposto:

geizr:
Wake me after the crash. I figure after the video game industry finishes shitting its kidneys out from the massive enema it's desperate needing, we'll finally be able to get back to simplicity where we actually obtain the one thing we've always wanted most from the video game industry, decent games for a decent price without all the bullshit.

The industry won't crash.

You know this, so why do you keep insisting that it does?

I'm not insisting that this will happen; no one, not even me, knows the future so well. If anything, my posting history (I'm assuming you went back and researched my past posts, since you are asserting that I keep insisting this) has been more an insistence that it needs it to clear the crap. Regardless, you are free to disagree.

Sorry, I forgot to put a word in that last sentence. What it was supposed to be read as:

"You know this, so why do you [people] keep insisting that it does?"

mrm5561:
the more i learn about the next gen the more i love my ps2. Those were the good old days when only being able to play games and watch dvds was enough. time to build my new pc

i know right. you would buy a game stick it in and shock horror you were playing within a few seconds.

Atmos Duality:

It's sad and a bit scary when the Vita and 3DS are the best "next-gen console" offerings by virtue of being the least dickish, and it's questionable if they should really count.

They honestly should because my 3DS gave me some of the best gaming experiences of the past two years. It had a hilarious ghostbuster game that could even get yahtzee leave a thumbs up for. It had the best resident evil since 4. It had the slew of Nintendo exclusives Mario Kart, Zelda and (soon enough) pokemon. It gave me a spiritual Diablo 3 (monster Hunter 3) And a pretty nifty array of indie games (if only the eShop UI wasn't so completely SHIT)

and apparently now even the Vita gets some steam and decent games and that powerful bugger looks sexier with every passing day.

So far, these two are the obvious and only winners and don't make me go "NOPE" when thinking about the prospect of buying them (gotta upgrade to the XL sooner or later :C)

erttheking:
I'm still willing to give the PS4 the benefit of the doubt, partially because it's not pulling all of the shit that the Xbone is, and partially because I actually like the concept of a share button, because I'm the type of person who wouldn't mind jumping into a friends game and talking to them while they play, maybe looking away a little to type something up on my lap top. Besides, even if you don't want to do it, it's not like the PS4 holds you hostage and forces you to do it.

But I guess this is one of those moments where me and the general Escapist community just disagree on things.

Also, please guys, don't let this turn into a flame war.

You're too late. It's been flaming for months. And I agree. I don't see how the ps4's features are inherently bad. Just don't use them if you don't like them. I'm not that social but I would like the option of sharing game capture footage with friends. And my friends aren't attention whores who'll be shoving stuff in my face anyway. All else fails, I'll do what I do now and don't sign onto psn/Steam if I don't want to be bothered. Its not like this is a new problem or something. You can still get bothered by people on your Steam account/psn/xbox live by friends asking you to join games and chat with you. I'll just pull the plug

kenu12345:

geizr:

kenu12345:
Ah yes but you fail to account for one thing. With more and more people using the internet now a days, We hear more about this and are more likely to hear false rumors. This is doubled when you get on a site with people that are generally on that site for sharing a similar opinion.

Notice the word "proportionally". I'm accounting for the Internet in my statement.

Yes, but the internet was not a large place for opinions back then and thus you were less likely to here as much people complain. Now a days you can hear an overblown opinion on about everything. Lest I remind you of the one games controversy *cough cough*

I'm speaking of a time before the Internet, when writing to a magazine was how you got your opinion published about. I come from a very old-school time, well before the Internet was so prevalent. Yes, there are always overblown opinions, but the question is whether you are just hearing from the same typical loud-mouths or if there is a more general consensus of opinion. To me, it has felt that there is a more general consensus of opinion, but you probably disagree with that.

Ultimately, only time will tell. It could well be that the whole thing will blow over, and gamer's will simply go back to tossing money at companies for the next upgrade of shiny graphics, all the while bitching, as they usually do, about the games being generally crappy. Then again, maybe it won't. You have to admit that the dissent regarding some business practices in the game industry is a fairly new phenomenon (at least, in my memory, I don't remember any such similar complaint, not since the upset over the excess of FMV games on the SEGA CD), not one related to simply the increased communication capability and capacity of the Internet.

Mr_Terrific:
If the WiiU had games, no one would buy it. If the WiiU had a fancy new gimmick that's not like the tablet that everyone already owns, then N would cruise along to another victory on the USS Casual, but...that ship has sailed. Oh, and what happens when the WiiU does get games. Well, good luck downloading a game on your 8 gig hdd. A tablet controller and an 8 gig hdd....very innovative.

So, I suppose you don't know about external hdd's? You know, the ones you can attach to the WiiU, thus giving it TB's of hdd instead of only 8 GB's? Yeah...

OT: I agree with everything Yatzee has said in this video. This generation is really gonna be a Nintendo v. Sony contest again. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out. My money's on Nintendo barely dominating the Market with Sony at a very, very close second and Microsoft at a distant thrid.

PoolCleaningRobot:

erttheking:
I'm still willing to give the PS4 the benefit of the doubt, partially because it's not pulling all of the shit that the Xbone is, and partially because I actually like the concept of a share button, because I'm the type of person who wouldn't mind jumping into a friends game and talking to them while they play, maybe looking away a little to type something up on my lap top. Besides, even if you don't want to do it, it's not like the PS4 holds you hostage and forces you to do it.

But I guess this is one of those moments where me and the general Escapist community just disagree on things.

Also, please guys, don't let this turn into a flame war.

You're too late. It's been flaming for months. And I agree. I don't see how the ps4's features are inherently bad. Just don't use them if you don't like them. I'm not that social but I would like the option of sharing game capture footage with friends. And my friends aren't attention whores who'll be shoving stuff in my face anyway. All else fails, I'll do what I do now and don't sign onto psn/Steam if I don't want to be bothered. Its not like this is a new problem or something. You can still get bothered by people on your Steam account/psn/xbox live by friends asking you to join games and chat with you. I'll just pull the plug

Well, E3 starts tomorrow. I guess it'll be judgement day then.

Haha, Yahtzee has hit the nail on the head. What to buy? Nothing, it all looks like shit.

Ah Yahtzee, you never fail to bring a smile to my face every Thursday Morning.

Hmm I get what Yahtzee is saying however I still have some faith left in nintendo's wii-u. Out of all the next gen consoles right now it has the most promise by not making you bed over and take a huge online drm shaft.

No offense Yathzee but this is your worst rant ever.I mean I mostly agree with what you say and I admire your honesty but you constant griping about consoles you haven't played or know anything about talking about how they will have no games is starting t6o sound like some ignorant fanboy.In fact you are starting to sound like some annoying PC fanboy as well.I don't know where you are getting that the next gen consoles are not going to have any games and that Nintendo is the only one who knows how to make 'games'.I don't know what you call the things Sony showed for the PS4. Potatoes? My advice? If you have nothing to review don't make premature reviews about things you barely know anything about.

Talk about the Wii U because that is already out but if you have no actual consoles or games to review don't bother.That Duke Nukem thing you did before the game actually came out was more annoying then insightful.Same with this.I prefer you when you are not using premature negativity like many stupid gamers are doing these days. It's not insightful and not very clever at all.You just sound ignorant and I know you don't want that.If you are bored and have nothing to review next time wait until you actually do.You just sound like you needed a topic to rant about and you scraped the bottom of the barrel for this one.I mean your biggest problem with the PS4 is that it has a 'share button' and you don't want to share? Then don't.They are not forcing you to.I admire you as a reviewer because you say the things that others are afraid to say and I admire it even if you are tearing down my favorite game.But you are veering very close to ignorant fanboy town when you start the premature judgement and extremely petty things that shouldn't matter.

Well, I know what next gen console I'm going to buy.
A new PC!

irishda:
Welcome back kids to another edition of "New Generation Hatred", a joyous occasion where the next generation is hated because it seems different than the old one. Then a bunch of people will buy it, it'll slowly faze out the majority of the old consoles, and everyone will get used to it and forget they hated it because there are other things to complain about. Then the next series will be announced and lo the cycle will start anew.

Pretty much. I truly wish I spent more time on the Internet as kid so I could see the previous versions of the same old shit.

"XBox has no games!"
"The ps2 is completely under powered!"
"Gamecube was way too late to the console race!"
"Why are they adding these stupid new Internet features to the consoles! If I wanted that stuff I'd use a pc!"

Some people will never understand that there is a huge percentage of gamers for whom consoles will be their only avenue for video games. They're the same people who's hands you swat away from the keyboard when they try to do something on a computer more complicated than facebook creeping

heh, wasn't gonna Yahtzee, though if i was gonna get one, it'd be a WiiU, but it'd need a Metriod game, one I don't have to make excuses for -.-

XD. What gets me about the lack of games on the Wii U is... Context.

OK, admittedly, it's now 5-6 months after launch, and very little new content has shown up.

But... The Wii U launch lineup was 20 games!

Do you know what the N64 launched with? 4 games. The gamecube wasn't much better. Nor was the Wii.
The same can be said about the 3ds too, although that was more of an obvious problem. (But the 3ds has recovered from that pretty well so...)

For that matter, at this point I doubt either the PS4 and Xbox One will have all that many games at launch...

It just seems like an odd thing to pick on, all things considered.

Don't worry, yahtzee. I won't.

Not that I'm terribly invested in the next console cycle, but I'm still withholding judgement until the entire picture is available. Not saying it gets much better from here, but I think they're going to do a lot of backtracking and re-marketing. I wonder if their marketing departments got any pink slips lately.

DVS BSTrD:

Are you ready?
Yeah, you think you can tell us what to do (with a console)?
You think you can tell us what to play?
You think that your better (then what we have now)?
Well you better get ready
To bow to the master (race)
Break it down!

If Microsoft and Sony aren't down with that, I got two words for 'em.

now while some of the older gaming people tend to knee jerk, and this certainly seems like a knee jerk reaction, it'd hard to be optimistic about games in general if companies like EA are legally allowed to exist

Mr_Terrific:
If the WiiU had games, no one would buy it. If the WiiU had a fancy new gimmick that's not like the tablet that everyone already owns, then N would cruise along to another victory on the USS Casual, but...that ship has sailed. Oh, and what happens when the WiiU does get games. Well, good luck downloading a game on your 8 gig hdd. A tablet controller and an 8 gig hdd....very innovative.

Um... 8gb? You'd have to be insane to buy the 8gb model if you intend to download a lot. I have a 32 GB model.
Besides which, I can plug in an external hard drive if it becomes an actual issue.

What's the difference between buying a hard drive to upgrade the internal storage, and plugging in an external hard drive anyway?
The end result is about the same.

The 360 didn't even ship with a hard drive originally, so don't tell me needing an external upgrade is out of the question.

(But as I said... 32 gb. NOT 8... The 8gb model was pretty explicitly meant for people that don't download things in the first place.)

I already plan to completely skip this console generation.

Yopaz:
Oh and The Xbox and its... entire console...

Or at least their marketing SNAFU that makes the best announcements about it "hey guys, it's not QUITE as bad as Big Brother from 1984."

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