Zero Punctuation: Next Gen Buyer's Guide

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LordTerminal:

I am. It comes at the cost of every problem devs have been stamping onto consoles lately being applied to the PC now. No thank you.

Also you're not helping my views on PC gamers being pretentious with your evangelist style ramblings.

What problems are you referring to? Everything that I list above would put an end toward "Console style problems", not simply transpose them to PC. We don't have to put up with those problems at all if we make it clear that we simply won't tolerate them.

I don't mind if you think I'm pretentious; it bothers me even less as you don't offer anything in opposition to the points I've made. I'm just sick of the progression of the industry, the negative effect the latest console generation has on gaming as a whole, and that the next generation is looking even worse. Things won't improve unless we do something about them. Otherwise, if we're complacent the industry has proven it will simply keep pushing farther.

I know what everyone is doing. Because there was a worry that pc gaming would die everyone has made crap consoles so that PC gaming may live on. Even though PCs are needed to make games.

When the next gen comes out, Im'ma get an Xbox 360 and a 3DS. Already have a PS3. Can't wait.

(quote yahtzee: what will they do next? yada)

ooorrrrr... the manufacturers will institute an aggressive retirement of games for old consoles and simultaneously squeeze as hard as they can on the used games market. Y'know, so they can force you to buy a new console just to play anything at all.

...nah, that'll never happen. I mean, they'd have to be a bunch of evil manipulative spunkgargleweeweeheads to do something like that.

Nintendo probably would be doing a much better job if they could get some good third party support going. It's pretty much the only thing they need to do at this point in order to be worth a purchase. Get a bunch of exclusives and it's set.

I know nothing about the PS4 besides that it has a controller.

Xbone is not looking to be worth a purchase so ignore this thing at all costs.

I was secretly hoping this video would begin with "WAR" and end with "In the Navy"

Sigh...

mrm5561:
the more i learn about the next gen the more i love my ps2. Those were the good old days when only being able to play games and watch dvds was enough. time to build my new pc

I second, only I have a PS3 (80 gig so it's backwards compatible) though it is currently refusing to play blurays and has begun to question my PS3 game choices. le sigh.....

I think for my next gaming system, I'm investing in a great PC. Time to learn keyboard controls! Just wish I had the knowledge to build my own.

The real shame of it is Yahtzee isn't just nit picking in his usual hilarious manner. He's bang on..

oh well, maybe there's hope in the microconsoles.

H31neken:

E-Penguin:
I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

In case noone has answered this yet - Something Awful-type LPs.
The superior kind, in other words, albeit not always as entertaining, to most people, at least.

If you wish to know more, just google "Something Awful" in combination with "Let's Play".
A lot of fairly interesting stuff, I have to say.

I know about Yahtzee's appreciation of SA let's plays, but I was thinking about specific ones, other than the ones already mentioned in this article: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/8703-Lets-Talk-About-Lets-Play.

E-Penguin:

H31neken:

E-Penguin:
I wonder what sort of LPs Yahtzee watches.

In case noone has answered this yet - Something Awful-type LPs.
The superior kind, in other words, albeit not always as entertaining, to most people, at least.

If you wish to know more, just google "Something Awful" in combination with "Let's Play".
A lot of fairly interesting stuff, I have to say.

I know about Yahtzee's appreciation of SA let's plays, but I was thinking about specific ones, other than the ones already mentioned in this article: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/8703-Lets-Talk-About-Lets-Play.

Ah, my bad then.

2 years ago I stepped into the glorious embrace of the PC master race. 2 years ago with a $450 (Canadian) PC... Still runs every game I want it to, in a good looking (though not top graphics on state of the art stuff) manner. $450.... Its not nothing but compared to buying a console its right there which for me when combined with steam kills the more expensive arguement. I think people feel they have to play games on max settings ... but console games never come close to PC max settings anyways not to mention well I grew up in the eight bit era so if graphics serviceably portray the area then damned if I won't find a way to join it. In 2 years I've bought over 200 amazing games I never had access to before (still less then half way through and the number just seems to grow). I love Playstation the first two were amazing and I love mario and zelda. However, there are so many great games out there I'm starting to worry less about the next killer app and more about what works for me. I could play for a year and not finish all the games I have. That's not including my console library. I want to get a next gen console and try the newest exclusives but, honestly, not enough to jump through these ridiculous hoops they keep putting up.

isbjorn:
I think for my next gaming system, I'm investing in a great PC. Time to learn keyboard controls! Just wish I had the knowledge to build my own.

A couple handy tips:
1. If you don't want to learn keyboard-and-mouse controls, you could just get a 360 controller, those work with PCs.
2. If you want to build your own PC, this guide should tell you everything you need to make it happen.
3. If you're not sure you're up to that, these guys are the next best thing; you can pick what parts you want and they'll build it for you.

Thunderous Cacophony:
Time to look back through the archive and see how this episode compares with his last evaluation of 'next-gen' consoles goes. I'm guessing it's almost identical in feel if not in details.

That said, the cynicism has a certain appeal. Maybe it's because I'm older and more jaded, or maybe this is the first step on the road to Video Game Apocalypse.

cynicism? this was not an over the top parody of a review, but a regular run of the mill review for next gen consoles, because they are really that bad.

Requia:
It occurs to me that Yahtzee might have even more reason to bitch. He's imported games before to get around fucked up Australian release dates, but it suddenly occurs to me that used games shenanigans may prevent imports altogether...

I actually recall reading something about the XboxOne being region locked... so probably.

Yahtzee, you make me wish I could hibernate for an entire year 'till the next E3.

timboo_drow:
Wouldn't it be nice if corporations actually were made to suffer for acting anti-consumer? And just to be clear, I classify anything as anti-consumer if it is meant to benefit the corporation (i.e. releasing new hardware with the purpose of stealing all the profits away from retailers from used game sales), and greatly inconveniences the consumer or vastly changes the way in which consumers purchase / enjoy products in a negative fashion.

Next gen, don't buy it.

Well Microsoft did crash the PC market by 30% with Windows 8, and the return rate at retail on Windows 8 products is so obscene that their OEM partners want Balmers head mailed to each of them in a small box. So they are feeling quite a bit of anti consumer suffering. Just apparently not yet enough to have given them cause to rethink the whole XBoned endeavor.

4Aces:
Mr Q - "Anybody know the phone number of a company that can send dozens of theme park mascots to a person's house for a day or two?"

And by theme park mascots I assume you mean Escorts right?

Thats exactly what I was thinking.. great minds think alike.

CrystalShadow:
XD. What gets me about the lack of games on the Wii U is... Context.

OK, admittedly, it's now 5-6 months after launch, and very little new content has shown up.

But... The Wii U launch lineup was 20 games!

Do you know what the N64 launched with? 4 games. The gamecube wasn't much better. Nor was the Wii.
The same can be said about the 3ds too, although that was more of an obvious problem. (But the 3ds has recovered from that pretty well so...)

For that matter, at this point I doubt either the PS4 and Xbox One will have all that many games at launch...

It just seems like an odd thing to pick on, all things considered.

Maybe they will have 15 titles at the end of the year (which is still less than what Wii U launched with!).

Also EA won't be developing games for the Wii U because they refuse to use Origin (the very program Yahtzee hates and with good reason). So it is a really odd criticism.

Albert Belle:
If you have nothing to review don't make premature reviews about things you barely know anything about.

Talk about the Wii U is alright because that is already out & talking about X-bone is fine because of their presentation conference and the stupid advertising and restrictions controversy.

And as for PS4, He was merely commenting on a announced PS4 feature, that was more like nitpicking really.

And still, I'm going to buy myself a WiiU. Because I need my Super Smash Bros., dangit...

Regarding the "hold something I like hostage" metaphor-- they're already doing that. Remember Halo 2 multiplayer? Every single Xbox game that requires a centralized server in order to function will one day be shut off. So maybe they're hoping that when our Halo 4s and Borderlands 2s stop working, we'll buy a new console because we have no other choice.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they've already installed, through mandatory compatibility updates, malicious code that deletes all our singleplayer saves the moment they decide the era of the Xbox 360 is over. After all, why even allow us the option of playing the Old Hotness, when they're so desperate to shove New and Busted down our throats?

I think that God created Playstation and XBox fanboys so that the old Sega fanboys have someone they can feel superior to.

If a console has one game which you believe is worth the cost of the console and the game and you can happily afford it then you should but it. This way not only do you get to play the game you want but the big companies need to sell many games for their consoles to make up for the loss when they sell the console to begin with and this way you are beating the system kind of.

Callate:

I tend to give Sony the benefit for seeming to have announced the console with the most avoidable/ignorable new "features" (heavy scare quotes) of the three. But I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop- to find out that Sony is also, as has been hypothesized, planning on taking an axe to the used game market, or plans on interrupting your gameplay to show you advertisements, or... whatever nightmarish anti-consumer malevolence a clever marketing department can come up with that challenges my own limited imagination.

No. Sony aren't having DRM, they confirmed it. I have seen it said a million times and yet people still like to suggest that it might.
I am just going to stick with my PC myself, wait for the first year of the new consoles to pass and see how they do. If any of them still look worthwhile then I'll but them.

Decabo:
His criticisms of the PS4 seemed rather forced, IMO. He basically talked about optional features as if they were manditory, and gave no credit to it not needing to be online to play games, not blocking used games, and already having some strong exclusives lined up. (Such as Infamous Second Son, a series he really likes) But whatever, bashing things is what pays his bills.

^Leader of Yatzhees personal stalker club^ Anyway, everyone here that cant PC because money/stupidity/active personal life is going to buy PS4 or Xbone, sad but true.

Doom972:
He's complaining now and says that people shouldn't buy the next-gen console, but he already has a WiiU and he will get an Xbone and PS4 for his reviews, if not for himself.
I agree with him, but I'd like to see people taking a stand - especially known game critics.

Consoles have held games that I like hostage before, but I never got those consoles because I know that I shouldn't have to use multiple gaming platforms - I have one, my PC, and that's enough.

That's the equivalent of telling a Graphic Designer to stick with Photoshop CS4 and not get CS 5, 6, and 7.

It's his job to review games, and to tell consumers about the products they already have or are about to own. He can't do his job if he doesn't have any of the next gen consoles. That is integral to keeping him on top of his game. I'm pretty sure that if he was a commentator, or had some sort of other occupation as opposed to reviewing games across all systems perhaps he would be able to do that.

Dragonbums:

Doom972:
He's complaining now and says that people shouldn't buy the next-gen console, but he already has a WiiU and he will get an Xbone and PS4 for his reviews, if not for himself.
I agree with him, but I'd like to see people taking a stand - especially known game critics.

Consoles have held games that I like hostage before, but I never got those consoles because I know that I shouldn't have to use multiple gaming platforms - I have one, my PC, and that's enough.

That's the equivalent of telling a Graphic Designer to stick with Photoshop CS4 and not get CS 5, 6, and 7.

It's his job to review games, and to tell consumers about the products they already have or are about to own. He can't do his job if he doesn't have any of the next gen consoles. That is integral to keeping him on top of his game. I'm pretty sure that if he was a commentator, or had some sort of other occupation as opposed to reviewing games across all systems perhaps he would be able to do that.

This analogy won't work. A graphics designer needs one program to be able to perform certain tasks - not several similar programs. A game critic can have one or many gaming platforms to review games for. A game critic who does one review per week won't be able to review every possible game anyway, so even sticking to one platform would provide him with enough games to review. He could take a stand and not get an Xbone at least to show that there's a red line that no console maker should cross, and hopefully others will do the same.
There will be enough good (and many more bad) games for the PC, PS4, and the WiiU (perhaps not that last one. We'll see). The Xbone won't be missed.

So far from what I heard, both PS4 and Xbox1 are going to try and kill the used games market, and both are incredibly invasive. So if I /DO/ get a Next Gen Console, it's going to be a Wii U. I already skipped the PS3 because I hate sony for hating its consumers. I have no problem telling Microsoft to Bite it and switching to Linux instead of Xbox 1 and Windows 8.

Justin Harris:
So far from what I heard, both PS4 and Xbox1 are going to try and kill the used games market, and both are incredibly invasive. So if I /DO/ get a Next Gen Console, it's going to be a Wii U. I already skipped the PS3 because I hate sony for hating its consumers. I have no problem telling Microsoft to Bite it and switching to Linux instead of Xbox 1 and Windows 8.

Where the hell did you hear that about the Playstation? It's the exact OPPOSITE! The PS4 is NOT being invasive, and it EMBRACES used games!

WarpZone:
Regarding the "hold something I like hostage" metaphor-- they're already doing that. Remember Halo 2 multiplayer? Every single Xbox game that requires a centralized server in order to function will one day be shut off. So maybe they're hoping that when our Halo 4s and Borderlands 2s stop working, we'll buy a new console because we have no other choice.

You do have another choice, you can play better games made by better companies

taltamir:

WarpZone:
Regarding the "hold something I like hostage" metaphor-- they're already doing that. Remember Halo 2 multiplayer? Every single Xbox game that requires a centralized server in order to function will one day be shut off. So maybe they're hoping that when our Halo 4s and Borderlands 2s stop working, we'll buy a new console because we have no other choice.

You do have another choice, you can play better games made by better companies

There is no "better" in the next generation of consoles. There's only "which of these three is the least bad?" Sorry if I made it sound like the only alternative to 360 is an Xbone. What I meant to say is that we'll have no choice but to buy into the next generation of consoles AT ALL.

I mean, you can say "play PC," and I do, and it will evidently become my primary gaming platform in the near future, but the point is we have great games NOW on acceptable hardware that they've only managed to slightly ruin with this last year of bullshit. It sucks to lose that. It sucks that they're ending the current gen early and giving us a next gen with nothing to recommend it, only shiny new ways of fucking the customer over.

Well, Nintendo might have went all in with a 2 and a 4, but they just came out of it with 2 Aces and a King (Smash Bros, Mario Kart and Mario 3D World). Sony, however, already has 2 Aces and a King (Final Fantasy XV, Kingdom Hearts III, not being an XBOne), and are just waiting for their last card to see if they win. Either way, Microsoft is going to loose everything they had.

deadish:

catalyst8:

deadish:
He is a critic not a reviewer. His job is to bash and pick apart stuff, not give a fair overview of things.

You seem to misunderstand the word. In a professional sense a critic is 'a person who judges the merits of literary or artistic works, especially one who does so professionally.' (OED 2013)

Peter Brook explains the role eloquently in this article: http://austintheatre.blogspot.co.uk/2005/12/peter-brook-on-job-of-critic.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critic

A critic doesn't have to be "balanced".

Also Yahtzee is part critic, part comedian. Those of us who tune in to ZP on a regular basis are full aware of his bias toward "making fun of stuff".

Some of his points are valid, some are nitpicking for humorous effect. Which of his opinions fall into which camp ... well that's up to you to interpret.

Wikipedia is not a good source to reliably cite for anything. You made an incorrect claim as to what a professional critic is. Your error is confirmed by the Oxford English Dictionary which, as I demonstrated, gives a very different definition of the word than the meaning you claimed for it. Whether Crowshaw is a critic or not is irrelevant, the point is that that you're mangling English & refuse to admit it.

i might just get a ps4 but if there are any catches like advertisements in the middle of gameplay im not getting any next gen consoles and im sticking with my ps3

catalyst8:

deadish:

catalyst8:

You seem to misunderstand the word. In a professional sense a critic is 'a person who judges the merits of literary or artistic works, especially one who does so professionally.' (OED 2013)

Peter Brook explains the role eloquently in this article: http://austintheatre.blogspot.co.uk/2005/12/peter-brook-on-job-of-critic.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critic

A critic doesn't have to be "balanced".

Also Yahtzee is part critic, part comedian. Those of us who tune in to ZP on a regular basis are full aware of his bias toward "making fun of stuff".

Some of his points are valid, some are nitpicking for humorous effect. Which of his opinions fall into which camp ... well that's up to you to interpret.

Wikipedia is not a good source to reliably cite for anything. You made an incorrect claim as to what a professional critic is. Your error is confirmed by the Oxford English Dictionary which, as I demonstrated, gives a very different definition of the word than the meaning you claimed for it. Whether Crowshaw is a critic or not is irrelevant, the point is that that you're mangling English & refuse to admit it.

Fine. Yahtzee is not a critic then. Happy? Jesus.

The point is Yahtzee is NOT a reviewer. He doesn't give a crap about "fair and balance" journalism. Picking apart games and game systems is his job.

Been a while since I've thought Yahtzee is absolutely right. I really, really want Bayonetta 2, that is my only interest in the next console generation since they all seem to have started a dickwaving contest before any of them have anything to actually show.

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