Zero Punctuation: The Orange Box

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Portal is a kick ass game. Love everything about it, there's nothing wrong with it although some say it was too short, deal with it. Best 3 hours spent in my life.

Wow! I had to take all of 5 minutes to create a new account because a forum mod went on a power trip. You truly are a force to be reckoned with, dude.

The fact that somebody replied defending Crash pretty much cements my point. And no, I didn't finish HL:E2, but that's not my fault. It's the fault of the game. Because it's boring. I got sick of killing green bugs and being pushed along a strictly linear path through boxy, poorly-detailed corridors with the same goddamn weight puzzle repeated over and over.

Does anybody even remember how good Half-Life was? From HL2 on we have had nothing but more and more mediocrity and less of anything to make this a unique game. And as it gets more and more mediocre, more and more people call it genius. Hence my "you people are stupid" theory, which is holding up pretty well.

In closing, recall that Britney Spears just had a #1 song again, Madonna is a multi-platinum artist, and Halo 3 got more 10/10 scores than any game in history. It means nothing. Success doesn't mean it's good, it means they found some way to hook sales. You've been gimmicked. Enjoy your mediocrity. You're killing gaming.

So, by your definition, what is a good game?

hunterm16a2:
So, by your definition, what is a good game?

Apparently not a good selling game (because big sales = shit). Though given that Half life itself (which isn't shit based on what he said) was one of the biggest selling games ever, his theory seems somewhat amateur. Anyhows I wouldn't waste your time arguing with him. Play TF2 instead it's much more rewarding. ;)

newage_lightbulb3:
Wow! I had to take all of 5 minutes to create a new account because a forum mod went on a power trip. You truly are a force to be reckoned with, dude.

The fact that somebody replied defending Crash pretty much cements my point. And no, I didn't finish HL:E2, but that's not my fault. It's the fault of the game. Because it's boring. I got sick of killing green bugs and being pushed along a strictly linear path through boxy, poorly-detailed corridors with the same goddamn weight puzzle repeated over and over.

Does anybody even remember how good Half-Life was? From HL2 on we have had nothing but more and more mediocrity and less of anything to make this a unique game. And as it gets more and more mediocre, more and more people call it genius. Hence my "you people are stupid" theory, which is holding up pretty well.

In closing, recall that Britney Spears just had a #1 song again, Madonna is a multi-platinum artist, and Halo 3 got more 10/10 scores than any game in history. It means nothing. Success doesn't mean it's good, it means they found some way to hook sales. You've been gimmicked. Enjoy your mediocrity. You're killing gaming.

Look, as much as I love Half-Life 2, there's no way I would get angry at you for calling it stupid; even my own brother gets bored with it easily. It's calling everyone HERE stupid that gets you a punch in the mouth. Just be careful with who you're offending next time. (mods: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but generally it's warning first, punishment afterwards)

Kadayi:

hunterm16a2:
So, by your definition, what is a good game?

Apparently not a good selling game (because big sales = shit). Though given that Half life itself (which isn't shit based on what he said) was one of the biggest selling games ever, his theory seems somewhat amateur. Anyhows I wouldn't waste your time arguing with him. Play TF2 instead it's much more rewarding. ;)

Will do! ;)

newage_lightbulb3:
Wow! I had to take all of 5 minutes to create a new account because a forum mod went on a power trip. You truly are a force to be reckoned with, dude.

image

Banning your IP is next. I am a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar.

Katana314:
(mods: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but generally it's warning first, punishment afterwards)

Noted.

**Edit: To expound.

I would agree that a layered approach to forum moderation is optimal. However, these ZP threads have been attracting new users more quickly than ... something stinky attracts buzzing insects. That is to say very quickly. And thickly.

Someone entering the forum with a low or non-existent post count who immediately acts like an ass isn't likely to self moderate - or listen to reason. (Or take a hint, apparently.) It may seem to the outside observer that banning such an individual is a bit harsh, or arbitrary, but it's not. Believe me, I've seen it far too many times to have any illusions about how such incidents will play out.

However, this note isn't for them. They can continue to post at forums where such behavior is expected or encouraged. We will not miss them. This note is for those of you who've been good forum citizens and attempted remain aware of the preferred tone of these forums. To you folks, I say: thank you. You'll find that your efforts will not be ignored should you run afoul of our expectations.

It is also possible for a banning to be lifted. There are even some among you who have been re-instated. In these cases, humility, contrition and reason will carry you far further than mocking scorn, I assure you. It's just not in anyone's best interests to abuse the guys holding the keys to the monkey cage. There's simply no margin in it - for anyone. Not even for me. Monday mornings are miserable enough without having to swing the ban hammer.

/mod.

Katana314:
(mods: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but generally it's warning first, punishment afterwards)

Even in the cases of blatant trolling?

TheDarkArchon:

Katana314:
(mods: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but generally it's warning first, punishment afterwards)

Even in the cases of blatant trolling?

That's a fair question, and the answer is: blatant trolling will earn you a warning or banning depending on the circumstances and the moderators' discretion.

Everyone has a bad day, and we try not to hold that against folks who've otherwise been good forum citizens. But, as I said above, when someone comes here with the express purpose of being a jerk, it's not worth arguing with them about it.

Excellent work, newage_lightbulb. The Aperture Science Laboratory reminds you that troll hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign#######CCCHHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKK baked, and then there will be cake.

"These mediocre conformist products are just fodder for the dump sheeple! Im so special that im way above having fun with that!" would sound alot less dumb if he could just accept that other people can have different tastes without being "stupid". Yet, alas lightbulb has pretty much shown us his attitude so i dont think a warning would really have done much good.

However, these ZP threads have been attracting new users more quickly than ... something stinky attracts buzzing insects. That is to say very quickly. And thickly.

It does kind of sadden me to see the basic trolls being washed ashore by Yathzees reviews, but i guess theres a downside to everything. Then again its not exactly unexpected and its pretty much the reason forum moderation&the banhammer exist in the first place.

Wheeee! T-~48h

Snap07:
"These mediocre conformist products are just fodder for the dump sheeple! Im so special that im way above having fun with that!" would sound alot less dumb if he could just accept that other people can have different tastes without being "stupid". Yet, alas lightbulb has pretty much shown us his attitude so i dont think a warning would really have done much good.

However, these ZP threads have been attracting new users more quickly than ... something stinky attracts buzzing insects. That is to say very quickly. And thickly.

It does kind of sadden me to see the basic trolls being washed ashore by Yathzees reviews, but i guess theres a downside to everything. Then again its not exactly unexpected and its pretty much the reason forum moderation&the banhammer exist in the first place.

Wheeee! T-~48h

Its hard to have fun with a limited and unpolished product when its sold on more than being mindless fun, this is why Halo 3 can be more fun than Bioshock at least we know 1 is mindless fun the other tries to be to many things to to many people.

ZippyDSMlee:

Snap07:
"These mediocre conformist products are just fodder for the dump sheeple! Im so special that im way above having fun with that!" would sound alot less dumb if he could just accept that other people can have different tastes without being "stupid". Yet, alas lightbulb has pretty much shown us his attitude so i dont think a warning would really have done much good.

However, these ZP threads have been attracting new users more quickly than ... something stinky attracts buzzing insects. That is to say very quickly. And thickly.

It does kind of sadden me to see the basic trolls being washed ashore by Yathzees reviews, but i guess theres a downside to everything. Then again its not exactly unexpected and its pretty much the reason forum moderation&the banhammer exist in the first place.

Wheeee! T-~48h

Its hard to have fun with a limited and unpolished product when its sold on more than being mindless fun, this is why Halo 3 can be more fun than Bioshock at least we know 1 is mindless fun the other tries to be to many things to to many people.

And now, we re-instate the game debate.

As for the lightbulb, it is extinguished and forgotten...

I'm assuming Bioshock is the mindless fun? ;)

ZippyDSMlee:
Its hard to have fun with a limited and unpolished product when its sold on more than being mindless fun, this is why Halo 3 can be more fun than Bioshock at least we know 1 is mindless fun the other tries to be to many things to to many people.

uh i cant agree on bioshock being to complex or to unpolished though sometimes i enjoy casual mindless stuff but also complex games are fun to alot of people id rather say that simple game concepts are more limiting to some gamers so i dont quite see ur point i rather think it depends more on taste also

.

Seriously now, do we really want to continue the Halo3 vs Bioshock,Casual vs Hardcore Gaming, Console vs PC automated-thread-inflation? Ive never ever seen any of it actually lead anywhere. One might as well settle the old Windows vs Linux debate in here...

Debian.

Russ Pitts:
Ubuntu.

There, fixed that for you.

Geoffrey42:

Russ Pitts:
Ubuntu.

There, fixed that for you.

Now it's on!

No hard feelings :)

Anyway, do these support cake?
Ive heard Vista comes with a curiousity sphere...

I sat my wife down at my laptop the other day and we watched every Zero Punctuation review in succession and you brought more pleasure into our bedroom than I have in the past 4 years.

Bastard.

Russ Pitts:

Geoffrey42:

Russ Pitts:
Ubuntu.

There, fixed that for you.

Now it's on!

I've been waiting for one of these debates to spring up...

My opinion is that Ubuntu is Linux for people who can't use proper Linux, much like Java is C++ for people who can't code C++.

Debian, on the other hand, is one of the oldest and most respected Linux distributions out there. I'd use it, had I not a distribution that suits my Linux needs better.

What do I use? OpenSUSE. I have a number of reasons for choosing this distribution over the others, even Debian, which would probably be my second choice.

1: OpenSUSE contains full support for the semi-standardised RPM package format. I'm well aware that Debian and other distributions contain support for this, but as SuSE, along with Red Hat, are the two distributions that really got that effort off the ground, I believe that OpenSUSE would have a greater ease-of-use associated with these files.

2: The excellent YaST setup tool that comes with SUSE is probably the best system configurer that I've seen on an operating system. From the installation to the update of settings and software management, it's all laid out simply. I don't mind doing technical stuff like configuring options, but I'd rather be using my distribution for something useful, like gcc or something like that.

3: The SUSE Linux Enterprise editions are some of the most respected operating systems existing today. When you buy a high-performance computer (read: servers, mainframes, supercomputers) from such companies as SGI and IBM, the Linux choice is typically between SUSE Linux Enterprise and Red Hat Enterprise.

But anyway, I digress. These Zero Punctuation reviews have provided me with the most entertainment I've had on the Internet for a long time. Keep up the good work, Yahtzee!

RAKtheUndead:
I've been waiting for one of these debates to spring up...

My opinion is that Ubuntu is Linux for people who can't use proper Linux, much like Java is C++ for people who can't code C++.

Debian, on the other hand, is one of the oldest and most respected Linux distributions out there. I'd use it, had I not a distribution that suits my Linux needs better.

What do I use? OpenSUSE. I have a number of reasons for choosing this distribution over the others, even Debian, which would probably be my second choice.

I was just messing with Russ, as I've always sort of felt like there's no one right Linux, just the one that's right for you. Ubuntu serves me well for what I need, but I can definitely see someone trying to accomplish more needing something a little more robust.

Although, after having learned how to program in C++, and then dabbling in C# (which, from what I'm told, is very similar to Java), I have no reason to ever want to use C++ again. Where are the downsides?

RAKtheUndead:
My opinion is that Ubuntu is Linux for people who can't use proper Linux

I can't use proper Linux. I also can't use Ubuntu; despite spending several weeks trying to figure it out.
Consulting Google and random forum messages doesn't count as support, geeks.

ANYWAY, I'd prefer it if we got back on topic. Just like Yahtzee we all seem to be getting a bit tangential.

newage_lightbulb3:
Wow! I had to take all of 5 minutes to create a new account because a forum mod went on a power trip. You truly are a force to be reckoned with, dude.

The fact that somebody replied defending Crash pretty much cements my point. And no, I didn't finish HL:E2, but that's not my fault. It's the fault of the game. Because it's boring. I got sick of killing green bugs and being pushed along a strictly linear path through boxy, poorly-detailed corridors with the same goddamn weight puzzle repeated over and over.

Does anybody even remember how good Half-Life was? From HL2 on we have had nothing but more and more mediocrity and less of anything to make this a unique game. And as it gets more and more mediocre, more and more people call it genius. Hence my "you people are stupid" theory, which is holding up pretty well.

In closing, recall that Britney Spears just had a #1 song again, Madonna is a multi-platinum artist, and Halo 3 got more 10/10 scores than any game in history. It means nothing. Success doesn't mean it's good, it means they found some way to hook sales. You've been gimmicked. Enjoy your mediocrity. You're killing gaming.

Oh! Thank god we have you: random forum asshole, to show us the error of our ways with your unfocused criticism and liberal use of insults! I'll make sure to back behind World of Warcraft and Saw IV, or whatever almost certainly stupid game/movie combo you find to be the beacon of light in an otherwise murky sea of "mundane" media.

Me like Portal! Me like Portal!

Me want more Portal!

I wonder if theres some way to portal my way into Valve HQ and steal the sequal (you know they have one)

newage_lightbulb3:
Wow! I had to take all of 5 minutes to create a new account because a forum mod went on a power trip. You truly are a force to be reckoned with, dude.

The fact that somebody replied defending Crash pretty much cements my point. And no, I didn't finish HL:E2, but that's not my fault. It's the fault of the game. Because it's boring. I got sick of killing green bugs and being pushed along a strictly linear path through boxy, poorly-detailed corridors with the same goddamn weight puzzle repeated over and over.

Does anybody even remember how good Half-Life was? From HL2 on we have had nothing but more and more mediocrity and less of anything to make this a unique game. And as it gets more and more mediocre, more and more people call it genius. Hence my "you people are stupid" theory, which is holding up pretty well.

In closing, recall that Britney Spears just had a #1 song again, Madonna is a multi-platinum artist, and Halo 3 got more 10/10 scores than any game in history. It means nothing. Success doesn't mean it's good, it means they found some way to hook sales. You've been gimmicked. Enjoy your mediocrity. You're killing gaming.

Recursive arguments don't work in logic, self-proclaimed "oppressed straight white male".

I must have done this ages ago...but I wasn't aware of the forums' existance!

Anyway.

I just don't know how to praise you Yahtzee and your divine work! You are the best reviewer ever existed in gaming history, period!!!

I have been following you since Fable review and link your reviews in my usual internet hangouts...but you are unreal!!!

My likes in a game are very similar to yours. I actually liked the reviews which you liked the game(eg: Psychonauts). Please, please, please do not restrict yourself...do however you see fit. When you review something you don't feel passionate about or you don't fully express yourself then you don't sound as good. You don't have to be ranting and disliking everything!

Anyway, goodluck...this Orange Box review was spot on! I love you Yahtzee!

If you read these posts just know that you rock hard!!!

Can't wait for today's review!

I've watched this video like a zillion times now - and it's still hilarious. I must have some serious issues...

Nevertheless you're getting a 10/10 from me.

Itīs quite addictive, i canīt wait for the next review...GO Yahtzee!

I'm still on the fence with buying the Orange Box; but I have always been a Team Fortress fan, also Portal looks amazingly fun.

So Valve recruited the Digipen guy behind Narbacular Drop? That's exact?

Snap07:

Seriously now, do we really want to continue the Halo3 vs Bioshock,Casual vs Hardcore Gaming, Console vs PC automated-thread-inflation? Ive never ever seen any of it actually lead anywhere. One might as well settle the old Windows vs Linux debate in here...

Well the rabid idiot fanboys of the above mentioned categories here will definately cream themselves over another round of pointless arguments citing their own idiotic reasons on why they are "right" and you are "wrong".

Arbre: Yes, they recruited the guys right out of college.

That's a nice story. The most refreshing games I played are Katamari Damacy (don't play that one a lot, but the whole idea was neat) and ND. That last one managed to give me nausea just by staring at the screen and jumping through the portals placed randomly.

I suppose the trick in the code is to swap the image in the portal with the real world within one frame, so the player doesn't see the transition. It was already well done back then.

That said, I didn't play Prey, and I heard it had the premises of this.

Great review, made me laugh aloud a few times. But please, for fooks sake, slow down a little! Not all of us start the morning with a fistful of amphetamine, so it's pretty difficult for a non-native English speaker to follow when your words per minute is twice TF2 Heavy's rounds per minute.

Maybe I'm just slow but I sometimes had to rewind when I didn't actually manage to notice what was in a picture during the 3 frames it was visible (and during which you spoke about two and half average paragraphs of text). The material in itself is really great, so if you could take a little smaller overdose of coffee before your next review, it would make watching even more fun.

Just my 2 cents.

(Edit: Or, you could just add to the player a special "Zero Punctuation" button that would play the video at about 92.53% speed.)

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