Zero Punctuation: Super Paper Mario

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Halo 3 is to Yahtzee like this review is to the Zero Punctuation series. Or something like that.

Meh. Average. Whatever. Not all that special. The Guiness joke fell flat.

Not Peggle, thank heavens, but certainly not Yahtzee's best.

On a different note, I can't imagine what he'd say if he reviewed Quake Wars. Oh the wreckage.

Awaiting next week,

Vitalix

How does an Australian know enough about the Jersey Turnpike to crack a joke anyway?

... I don't understand.
Why JRPG's? Could you please explain yourself?

I'm actually somewhat outraged by your rather senseless bashing of a genre which provokes more thought than any other.

korosora:
... I don't understand.
Why JRPG's? Could you please explain yourself?

I'm actually somewhat outraged by your rather senseless bashing of a genre which provokes more thought than any other.

JRPG:
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Use potion.
Attack.
Attack.

America's army clangame:
Katana, you stay put where you are. I'm looking at the situation and if all of you just watch your spots, there aren't any situations in which the objective will be able to get to the drop zone. Midget, you said you needed to reload? Do that now, quietly. Everyone switch to auto because this guy's already at low health; just one bullet will take him down. And do not lose your focus.
(3 minutes pass)
Believe it or not guys, this is a mind game...they know we have all possible entrances covered, they're just trying to wear us down.
(last minute on the clock)
BOOM, gotya.

You say it requires thought, and in some respects you may be right. But it's a bit ironic to accuse him of senseless bashing when you say that other games are not thought-provoking.

Katana314:

korosora:
... I don't understand.
Why JRPG's? Could you please explain yourself?

I'm actually somewhat outraged by your rather senseless bashing of a genre which provokes more thought than any other.

JRPG:
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Use potion.
Attack.
Attack.

America's army clangame:
Katana, you stay put where you are. I'm looking at the situation and if all of you just watch your spots, there aren't any situations in which the objective will be able to get to the drop zone. Midget, you said you needed to reload? Do that now, quietly. Everyone switch to auto because this guy's already at low health; just one bullet will take him down. And do not lose your focus.
(3 minutes pass)
Believe it or not guys, this is a mind game...they know we have all possible entrances covered, they're just trying to wear us down.
(last minute on the clock)
BOOM, gotya.

You say it requires thought, and in some respects you may be right. But it's a bit ironic to accuse him of senseless bashing when you say that other games are not thought-provoking.

Well yeah, of course it's no contest when you compare the worst of one group with the best of the other. That proves nothing.

Criticizing a genre of games for being repetitious is to be guilty of bias and selective memory. All games contain repetition in some form or another. Just because you don't acknowledge it, doesn't mean it's not there. The reality is, if it's something you like doing, you're not going to much care if it's repeated. A great example of this sort of selective memory would be Yahtzee having fun playing Manhunt and ironically stopped having fun when the gameplay style changed. So really, it's not so much repitition that's his or anyone's problem with a game, it's simply the game not being to their individual tastes.

Agreed. I'm sorry, I didn't want to start an argument over which is BETTER...I just don't like it when a genre I like is just passed off as completely un-innovative or something.

Like Yahtzee said, he has an understanding with those games. He just doesn't like them personally. He never really said anyone who plays them is an idiot.

Katana314:

korosora:
... I don't understand.
Why JRPG's? Could you please explain yourself?

I'm actually somewhat outraged by your rather senseless bashing of a genre which provokes more thought than any other.

JRPG:
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Use potion.
Attack.
Attack.

America's army clangame:
Katana, you stay put where you are. I'm looking at the situation and if all of you just watch your spots, there aren't any situations in which the objective will be able to get to the drop zone. Midget, you said you needed to reload? Do that now, quietly. Everyone switch to auto because this guy's already at low health; just one bullet will take him down. And do not lose your focus.
(3 minutes pass)
Believe it or not guys, this is a mind game...they know we have all possible entrances covered, they're just trying to wear us down.
(last minute on the clock)
BOOM, gotya.

You say it requires thought, and in some respects you may be right. But it's a bit ironic to accuse him of senseless bashing when you say that other games are not thought-provoking.

Oh yes, the first eight hours I've been through Rogue Galaxy are exactly like that. The AI is so rudimentary that they get stuck against enemies, especially against bots, even when you want them to back off.
It's a nice game when it comes to the universe (even if sometimes it feels like a mish mash of rip offs in fact), but the dialogues and characters are its saving grace.

In comparison, the combat dynamics in FFVII were incredible. It was bit like playing Magic, finding the best combinations and auto-effects.

*EDIT* I went to Yahtzee's personal site and read the mention on how apparently he knew you could avoid the 'hamster wheel' ... so now i retract my initial comment...
I thoroughly enjoyed this article because its exactly how I feel. I have to play SuperPaperMario for school. I have to write a blog about it every week on my progress, yes, I go to a college where we write blogs about video games (yay art school!).

Over all this game is certainly the weakest of the three. I actually hate the removal of the turn based battle system. This game seems to be more minimal and easier just to sell on a wider audience for the Wii.
http://imamp.colum.edu/blogs/?author=126 - blogs for school if ya wanna read. every kid has to review a game (and video game articles in a book and on the net)

these reviews are honestly the most cleverly coordinated 2 minutes of audio and video i've ever seen...

lol =) my god just fantastic.

i also hate the wii. ocarina of time forever, bitches! oh yea, and multiplayer goldeneye forever, god damn stupid nintendo and their lack of online-ness and gay friends codes!

Hahaha!, that last part was so funny. So will there be a Jericho-review?, i must know if it's a good game or not.

Popping in to say that, as always, the framing music for this review was excellently chosen. Always serves to draw you in and then let you slip away...

Can't wait 'till his finds an excuse to use The Time Warp.

Maybe he should also review huge steaming craptacular titles. You know, it can also help.

We could find out that these harsh reviews might turn out more positive than those done for AAA titles! ;)

Arbre:

Katana314:

korosora:
... I don't understand.
Why JRPG's? Could you please explain yourself?

I'm actually somewhat outraged by your rather senseless bashing of a genre which provokes more thought than any other.

JRPG:
Attack.
Attack.
Attack.
Use potion.
Attack.
Attack.

America's army clangame:
Katana, you stay put where you are. I'm looking at the situation and if all of you just watch your spots, there aren't any situations in which the objective will be able to get to the drop zone. Midget, you said you needed to reload? Do that now, quietly. Everyone switch to auto because this guy's already at low health; just one bullet will take him down. And do not lose your focus.
(3 minutes pass)
Believe it or not guys, this is a mind game...they know we have all possible entrances covered, they're just trying to wear us down.
(last minute on the clock)
BOOM, gotya.

You say it requires thought, and in some respects you may be right. But it's a bit ironic to accuse him of senseless bashing when you say that other games are not thought-provoking.

Oh yes, the first eight hours I've been through Rogue Galaxy are exactly like that. The AI is so rudimentary that they get stuck against enemies, especially against bots, even when you want them to back off.
It's a nice game when it comes to the universe (even if sometimes it feels like a mish mash of rip offs in fact), but the dialogues and characters are its saving grace.

In comparison, the combat dynamics in FFVII were incredible. It was bit like playing Magic, finding the best combinations and auto-effects.

Dont forget FF4 or FF6 they were the last great FFs the equipment and skills systems made them so damn much fun FF8+ with the exception of 9 were so so to blargh.

I miss pulling off fun off the wall attacks and using equipment as spells screw balance when its OTT and bent to grind....

please delete

Super Paper Mario was a fucking horrible game. I played it beginning to end (in the span of a single rental, to get some use out of my Wii, as said in the review) and I have to say I quite hated every second of it.

While it's an interesting take on action RPGs (as in, you fight enemies real-time in the overworld without going into a separate turn-based battle screen) the whole thing just felt really boring, like, even the big boss battles. Even the final boss went out with a pathetic whimper. None of them have any "pop" or "flash" to them, all it takes to beat them is just using Bowser's fire breath and butt stomps till they die, and the combat feels anticlimactic and weak as hell. That's not my main issue with the game, though.

My main qualm with the game is that the entire thing, top to bottom, is waaaaaay too fanservicey... like all Mario games have been since Sunshine. From the 4chan-browsing nerd chameleon to the tiresome self-referential humor, it was just really painful for me to play this game due to the contrived writing that keeps trying to roast itself alive while not being original or funny at all without resorting to lame inside humor that'll fly over the heads of anyone who isn't a mouth-breathing Nintentard. Alright, I get it, I know you've been around since the 1980s you fat piece of shit. Yeah, great, this is how you looked when you were pixellated on the NES. Oh look, Luigi gets shafted for the billionth time and jokes are made about it, har har that never gets old! JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU IDIOTS JUST FUCKING MOVE ON AS A SERIES ALREADY? AND STOP FUCKING REMIXING SMB MUSIC, YOU LAZY FUCKS. I'M SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT SHIT THAT EVERY TIME I HEAR IT I WANT TO TAKE AN ELECTRIC SAW TO MY EARS.

In addition to all this, the storyline just sucks my ass. It's just contrived from beginning to end. They try to tie it all together with a really pretentious attempt at a dramatic love story, but it'll only be dramatic to 10 year olds and deluded wiitards who think everything Nintendo does is God. This game is a giant hunk of cheese.

PsychoJosh:
Super Paper Mario was a fucking horrible game. I played it beginning to end (in the span of a single rental, to get some use out of my Wii, as said in the review) and I have to say I quite hated every second of it.

While it's an interesting take on action RPGs (as in, you fight enemies real-time in the overworld without going into a separate turn-based battle screen) the whole thing just felt really boring, like, even the big boss battles. Even the final boss went out with a pathetic whimper. None of them have any "pop" or "flash" to them, all it takes to beat them is just using Bowser's fire breath and butt stomps till they die, and the combat feels anticlimactic and weak as hell. That's not my main issue with the game, though.

My main qualm with the game is that the entire thing, top to bottom, is waaaaaay too fanservicey... like all Mario games have been since Sunshine. From the 4chan-browsing nerd chameleon to the tiresome self-referential humor, it was just really painful for me to play this game due to the contrived writing that keeps trying to roast itself alive while not being original or funny at all without resorting to lame inside humor that'll fly over the heads of anyone who isn't a mouth-breathing Nintentard. Alright, I get it, I know you've been around since the 1980s you fat piece of shit. Yeah, great, this is how you looked when you were pixellated on the NES. Oh look, Luigi gets shafted for the billionth time and jokes are made about it, har har that never gets old! JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU IDIOTS JUST FUCKING MOVE ON AS A SERIES ALREADY? AND STOP FUCKING REMIXING SMB MUSIC, YOU LAZY FUCKS. I'M SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT SHIT THAT EVERY TIME I HEAR IT I WANT TO TAKE AN ELECTRIC SAW TO MY EARS.

In addition to all this, the storyline just sucks my ass. It's just contrived from beginning to end. They try to tie it all together with a really pretentious attempt at a dramatic love story, but it'll only be dramatic to 10 year olds and deluded wiitards who think everything Nintendo does is God. This game is a giant hunk of cheese.

fan service?
If the fans are mushroom smoking aliens then maybe,I didn't like Martio 64 because the powerups blew,sunshine is just gettign away from how I want Mario to be, plus it was a bit..unbalanced the non optional super jump zones killed it for me,its like piss easy or sitting in acidic demonic urine,dosent look like galaxy is going to be "better", why is it so hard to take mario world or SMB3 and make it 3D mix the combat of 64 with the powerups of SMB3...oh god yes theres some fan service uh huh *drools* but anyway the last good mario RPG was the one Square helped them with, paper mario should only be used on the throne ......
I don't mind the tolite humor just the combination of it all just...blagh

The game was a pretty major letdown for me. Not quite up there with Halo 2, but still a stinger. The combat and platforming were on the wrong side of meh.

"please delete" aren't arguments. :)

My friend, I think your reviews are nothing short of comedy genius.. mark that COMEDY GENIUS. If you haven't seen it before I recommend you watching anything by a British "comedy terrorist" called Chris Morris. It might be right up your alley, pardon the expression. Specifically Brass Eye... It is however completely game unrelated... sorry, though I hope that won't spoil your enjoyment of it.

And by the way, have you noticed how everyone in these threads are now completely, and totally mimicking your style of prose in a half hearted attempt to try to be cool and withit, by which I mean a retarded, bandwagon jumping, faceless fashion victim. I obviously include myself among those hoards however I secretly believe I might be the best at it..mmmmmmmmaybe not then

You know what really worries me? Although i think the reviews are primarily aimed at being funny rather than informative - and they succeed with full marks on that front - they are infact the most believable reviews i have found on the net.

Or maybe i just feel like a kindred spirit... :D

Funny,
But Metroid Prime 3 doesn't have anything close to a "parallel universe" or a Light VS Dark.

The previous comment on Nintendo's innovation actually makes me wonder when the last time was that they created a new hero. Seems like recently they've mainly been capitalizing on the existing ones.

Katana314:
The previous comment on Nintendo's innovation actually makes me wonder when the last time was that they created a new hero. Seems like recently they've mainly been capitalizing on the existing ones.

They try to make new Ips. Just nobody plays them. (i.e. Elite Beat Agents)

Zera:

Katana314:
The previous comment on Nintendo's innovation actually makes me wonder when the last time was that they created a new hero. Seems like recently they've mainly been capitalizing on the existing ones.

They try to make new Ips. Just nobody plays them. (i.e. Elite Beat Agents)

EBA wasn't made by Nintendo.

Jonathan Ross FTW (For The Wit)

Lightbulb:
they are infact the most believable reviews i have found on the net.

Most reviewers are petrified of criticizing popular titles. It's now the "in" thing to have severe backlash against anyone that dares point out obvious flaws in the 'hottest' titles. Be glad that yahtzee does not give scores to accompany the reviews. It would be incredibly difficult to weed through all the sludge in Zero Punctuation topics in order to find and intelligent post that isn't mocking Yahtzee without merit.

If you watch carefully, when yahtzee was saying that "amusing yourself during a videogame with something alse" thing, you can see a huge tits tab next to the definition tab.

I have to agree that these are the most genuinely actual reviews I have ever read. Mind you, a review of that nature is one that, as such, can be disagreed with meaningfully, where as the review at your typical reviewing is basically "OMG, check out the graphics!", which may or may not be true, but presupposes a certain preoccupation with the polygon count that is not always true. What I enjoy about Yahtzee is that while I may or may not agree with him, its clear he's *trying* to engage the game on its terms, and reviewing it as a *game*, rather than a graphics demonstration, and that he is not so easily wowed by fads. That, these days, is unfortunetly a precious and rare quality to be prized.

The JRPGs that revolve around that mashing style of combat can be repetitive, yes, but most modern ones seem to have evolved over time and employed combat that is more involved (Digital Devil Saga, for one). Then there's the Action RPGs, which I personally like more, but they can feel repetitive as well if the difficulty is too low. If one of these games manages to get it right, I find it can be more engaging than most other games. JRPGs as a whole, though, are usually either hit or miss. For Yahtzee, it seems to be a miss, but I suppose a large amount of genres can become misses for reviewers who are forced to play through and beat the bad ones. I guess when FFXIII comes out and Yahtzee has to review it, we'll see a little more backstory from this side of him.

Very good review, yet again. I love this site.

Oh man, every time i watch your reviews i see something awesome that i didn't notice before. The list of huge boob sites in a separate tab on your browser while pointing out the definition on a game was quite hilarious, accident or not.

How dare you call us pricks!

Now to bring this thing back from the land of the dead, i was wonder what YahtzeeŽs thoughts are on american RPGs like the Neverwinter Nights series and other ones like those.
I have played a good couple of JRPGs, although i'm only limited to a PC and never owned a console beyong the NES and Sega Genesis, so my experiences with RPG and JRPG has only been limited to whatever is released on the PC platform and captures my interest around the times that i have money to spend on them, however the few that i have played have been somewhat enjoyable, but in the land of RPG i think that Neverwinter Nights is one of the better RPGs out there, but then again, that can also be because iŽm a geek and seem to enjoy the Dungeons And Dragons games, of which the NWN series is a computer version.

But all in all, i love the reviews here, and certainly are a nice little highlight in my weekly internet update checking schedule, so keep up the good work, and if Yahtzee reads this and likes to reply to it, iŽd love to hear the thoughts on NWN.

TendoAddict:
I normally agree with you fully but there is some points where I really disagree.

For one on the hamster wheel level, I'd hate to say it, but you really kinda flopped the level. Your not really supposed go for the whole million on that thing. I would think most people would get that you are not supposed to go the boring way. A 30 minute time sink in a Nintendo game? I know they've had pretty cheesy gimmicks but I don't think they would go that far. Though I admire your quick way to solve the problem. You really only need 10,100 total to afford the correct route which takes no time at all (not going to say how to do it but it seemed pretty easy to find if you search around). So the whole joke seems kind of empty. (and I feel bad that you waited that long XD)

The other point was the light side dark side part. It only really matters in the plot, the flip town (which was really just a cheap way to reuse th same town), a and the last chapter (kind of). It didn't really affect game play at all (which it has been in other Nintendo games, to the point of vomiting).

Other then that spot on, the platforming was bland and the collect 7 colorful things is getting old.

He didn't say 30 minutes, he said a quarter of an hour or so...meaning 15 minutes. I played this game as well, and it takes about 10-15 minutes to acquire the amount of rupees that you need to buy the information to get the million from the vault at the top floor. I'd be pissed if I was Yatzee, cause half of you think he's stupid enough to try to get the whole 1,000,000 rupees in the wheel. Think about how long that would take if it takes about 5 minutes to get 1500 rupees. It would go on for far longer than he claimed to be in the hampster wheel.

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