Paperboy Posts: 43 Joined: 5 Apr 2007 | |
Pulitzer Laureate Posts: 838 Joined: 4 Oct 2007 | You reeeeeally have nothing to write about. |
Anonymous Source Posts: 1 Joined: 2 Nov 2007 | She let her kids explore the arcade without her supervision. In this day and age, any parent doing that is risking her childs sanity as it is - just think of what would have happened if they'd arrived a few minutes later. ...at any rate, I liked this article. |
Reviewer Posts: 46 Joined: 30 Aug 2007 | Really nice downbeat piece. I'd maybe lose the more self-aware parts, like, "of course that's where we spend the rest of the afternoon," I think your tone is strong enough here to convey that kind of ennui without having to comment on it. |
Copy Clerk Posts: 88 Joined: 27 Aug 2007 | I just wanted to comment to say that I look forward to your Shoot Club articles. They're usually just what I'm in the mood to read. The only real criticism I can offer is about your use of unattributed dialogue. I imagine you're using it intentionally to blur the lines between your various characters, as the characters don't seem to be as important as the opinions they're discussing. Still, I think this sort of dialogue can be really hard to follow sometimes. Most of the time, I do want to follow who is saying what without having to go back to the beginning of the conversation to play eeny-meeny-miney-mo. |
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Shoot Club: Zoo Story
Me, I'm terrible around children. They're little and weird and I don't know what to say to them. I have to be careful not to cuss. I think I make kids nervous. They certainly make me nervous. But Trevor talks their language. He's a child whisperer.
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