Zero Punctuation: Zelda Phantom Hourglass

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I wouldn't mind if Valve remade graphically Half Life 1, then again, there project Black Mesa.

Alright, I see where you are coming from. Yes, Nintendo really does need to make some new stuff. Old things can only be done so many times. But perhaps because they are the only game company that can do this right (most of the time) is why they are allowed to get away with it. Mario, Zelda, Metroid, are all games that we enjoy seeing again and again (most of the time). Still, exceptions will be found. Phantom Hourglass is one of them. As much as a FANBOY as I am about Zelda, I have to say it sucked... alot. It took everything that I hated from Windwaker and said "Hey you know what? Let's put it in again!" The LONG sea voyages, the constant need to return to places you had been before, etc. But in Twilight Princess, they fixed those. But I share your viewpoint still.... Nintendo, where is the originality? I can only take a new Zelda game so many times. I love them with all my heart, but I can only play the game so many times before I get bored and want to play something new.

What, did we all forget that Pikmin landed a few years back? What about when Nintendo tried to mix things up with Red Steel? They do innovate, its just that these new series are inevitably compared to Nintendos years old and perfected titles, and consequently come up short. Its a sort of DID reviewer thing, both attacking Nintendo for lack of originality from half the reviewers and the other half telling them to stick to what they know.

This sounds vehement and ranty. Oh well.

Brilliant review once again, although aside from what you mentioned, my biggest complaint about the Zelda series is that there only seems to be one Link, the Ocarina of Time one, and the rest are just characters who look just like him and have his name but according to the story aren't related to him at all, and just refer to Link as "The Hero of Legend" or something similar and equally vague.

Indigo_Dingo:
What, did we all forget that Pikmin landed a few years back? What about when Nintendo tried to mix things up with Red Steel? They do innovate, its just that these new series are inevitably compared to Nintendos years old and perfected titles, and consequently come up short. Its a sort of DID reviewer thing, both attacking Nintendo for lack of originality from half the reviewers and the other half telling them to stick to what they know.

This sounds vehement and ranty. Oh well.

OH DEAR LORD! Praise PIKMIN!!! I do enjoy that game! That's something new and original they put out, and I'm looking forward to Pikmin 3!! (we can pray.... we can still pray) I'm being serious too! I loved that game! Nintendo earns props for that installment. OH! And Baiten Kaitos series as well!

Hero Quest is Fucking Awesome!

I want a tube that shoots lemons

I love Phantom Hourglass, really I do, but Yahtzee is right: it's the same thing over and over and over again. Nintendo needs to really get some new franchises out. Zelda and Mario are awesome and all, but at the rate this is going, if they were fruits, they'd be the thirteen-week-old milk that the people at Nintendo insist on keeping in the fridge because they say it's still good when they really should just put it out of its misery.

Not that I'm saying that Zelda should stop altogether, just that it should be put...off to the side. For...like...a long time.

ok i know im a little late be i just notes that the game he describes at the end sounds an ofel lot like okami i dont know maybe he did it on purpose but i just fond it odd

Here is my experiences with the zelda series.

&First one&- stopped playing because I couldnt figure out to do.

&Link to the Past&- Stopped playing cuz I couldnt figure out what to do and started the quest to find the master sword every single fucking game afterward and started the light and dark world that Nintendo gets so aroused about.

&Ocarina of time&- only one I beat and the best one.

&Majoras Mask&- Never even wanted to play because its the exact same as ocarina of time.

&Windwaker&- looked stupid and we all have been there before with finding the mastersword except in a cell shaded manner.

&Twilight Princess&- stopped playing after first temple, because I realized "oh fuck here we go again with no originality and the stupid light and dark world thing again.

Come on Nintendo make a different game so I will be somewhat intrigued

Actually, even though I've played a majority of the Zelda games, now they really suck. and I just thought that I might point this out that at the end, anyone else notice that he basically described the game Okami? or was that just me.

Damn, he was halfway to Inuyasha with that game suggestion.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who didn't like Phantom Hourglass, and it's pretty much for the same reasons...

Almost. I didn't like using the touch screen as much, but everything else was the same.

"Fagballs" still cracks me up.

lol, okami is a much better game than phantom hourglass

matches the description perfectly :P

I am yet to finish Wind Waker because of that useless part about finding the pieces for the triforce throughout the ocean that seemed boring after 5 minutes and failed to get better after an hour of searching so i gave up and traded it in.

Ok, I know it's been a while. But I found it ironic with the Valve statement. Especially with the Black Mesa game being developped. I thought it was worth the giggle.

I liked that Okami reference. I decided to take a chance with that one and was NOT disappointed. Probably the most original and FUN game to grace any system.

hey Yahtzee why do you keep calling link fagballs? just curious

Because the game gives you the option to name the character and why should you take it seriously when you don't respect the character?

Indigo_Dingo:
What, did we all forget that Pikmin landed a few years back? What about when Nintendo tried to mix things up with Red Steel? They do innovate, its just that these new series are inevitably compared to Nintendos years old and perfected titles, and consequently come up short. Its a sort of DID reviewer thing, both attacking Nintendo for lack of originality from half the reviewers and the other half telling them to stick to what they know.

This sounds vehement and ranty. Oh well.

Red steel was made by ubisoft...I'm confused by your point and have chosen to believe your mentally challenged.

Another great review. I'm currently taking a look back at all your reviews. I wish you all the best in the future.

The game you described at the end of this rant is titled Okami. Perhaps you should sue them for the rights?

I see what you did there at the end. Are you gonna review Okami next, then?

were not that lucky

I know that there's a chance that I missed the ironic joke and shall forever be shunned by the "indy" (inverted commas) crowd, but that was Okami right?

I don't know whether the blatancy of the joke was almost too powerful for me to notice but I'm pretty sure that was a penultimate Okami reference right before the credits.

The onyl reason why I still didn't finish this damn game is that supid huge timed/filled with unkillable enemies/annoying last dungeon that you need to visit over, and over, and over again.

I mean, it wouldn't be that bad if you could save in the middle of it and return later, but, no, Nintendo likes to kick you in the balls and say "NO! YOU HAVE TO FINISH THIS THING IN ONE GO!"

This annoys me greatly.

Am i the only one that relised: Playing as a dog in japan, collecting magic spells and using a brush EQUALS Okami?

The end where he mentions valve releasing the same game a couple years later but just with new weapons makes me giggle because they went that route for L4D2. ;)

As for Phourglass....My only real complaint was the forcing me to walk/attack via touch screen. The DS has an A and B button and a D-pad. Why can't I use these things? They don't do anything else, so why can't I use them if I want to? I found the moving via touch screen to be incredibly awkward and annoying. And it was quite annoying to constantly have link stop and just start swatting at the air with his sword because the touch screen decided I was trying to attack instead of run.

Still a fun game, just could of been better had the DS touch screen not been totally shoehorned.

God I hated that starter "temple." That's the reason I never finished the game.

Oh and the bit at the end sounded alot like Okami to me.

i i actually didn't think about that. That Nintendo remakes a previous game. WEll I mean i did but never realized that t's always done. damn..

if another console did they get lynched? not really. Gran Turismo and Tekken have been at it for years, yes not as much as nintendo but they're doing it and there's always so much hype going on around it.

Painting Puppy: The Japanese Chronicles.
I'd buy it ^_^

That final game description could of only been more Okami if he would of saying "Moving Painting Art Direction" :)

jaredgood1:
You mentioned Hero Quest. You are now 8+ shades of awesome and I'm recommending that Yahtzee replace Good in the 3rd revision of the Ministry of Truth's New Speak dictionary.

Hehe I loved playing Hero Quest when I was a kid. Figgen awesome.

Lolokami @ the end.

I loved that.

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