Zero Punctuation: Clive Barker's Jericho

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Chilango2:

Spindrifter:
I love these reviews, but what's with all the first person shooters? I count five that you've reviewed so far. I know you don't pick your games now, so it would be nice if The Escapist would hand you games from other genres more often.

This is an accusaiton that is often made, and I can see why its made, but I'm not sure it stands up to the facts:
1) Heavenly Sword: Action/Adventure Hack & Slash
2) Psychonauts: Plataformer (I think?)
3) Bioshock: FPS
4) Tomb Raider Anniversary: Action/Adventure.
5) Manhunt: FPS
6) Peggle: Puzzle game
7) Halo 3: FPS
8) Tabula Rasa: MMORPG
9) Orange Box: FPS
10) Super Paper Mario: Plataformer
11) MOH Airborne: FPS
12) Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker (Clive Barker): FPS

If I'm doing my math right, FPS's are a little under 50% of his total reviews. Granted, they are the single largest single category, but that's not really all that strange, considering that more FPS's are released than most other genres, at the moment, and he's good a healthy dose of most of the other current major active genres (action adventure..). Certainly, I'd like to see him review a strategy or RPG game, but those come out at a somewhat slower pace, so I don't exactly attribute it to a conspiracy.

Certaintly, he mixes it up a good deal.

You're right about Psychonauts being a platformer, but Manhunt's more of a 3rd person stealth affair than an FPS, so that's only 5 out of 12.

I agree that he should do an RPG and a strategy. What about Empire Earth 3, that's supposed to be really crap, and he can rip that to shreds easily. Mass Effect (in all its overrated glory) should be good as well.

he said he didn't like RPGs, it seems. Well, JRPGs cause of their dullness and slog(whatever slog means).

Do you know any RPG that might be worth it then? Cause all i see are turn-based ones. Kingdom hearts comes to my mind then. and what kind of strategy?

Kronopticon:

Chilango2:

Spindrifter:
I love these reviews, but what's with all the first person shooters? I count five that you've reviewed so far. I know you don't pick your games now, so it would be nice if The Escapist would hand you games from other genres more often.

This is an accusaiton that is often made, and I can see why its made, but I'm not sure it stands up to the facts:
1) Heavenly Sword: Action/Adventure Hack & Slash
2) Psychonauts: Plataformer (I think?)
3) Bioshock: FPS
4) Tomb Raider Anniversary: Action/Adventure.
5) Manhunt: FPS
6) Peggle: Puzzle game
7) Halo 3: FPS
8) Tabula Rasa: MMORPG
9) Orange Box: FPS
10) Super Paper Mario: Plataformer
11) MOH Airborne: FPS
12) Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker (Clive Barker): FPS

If I'm doing my math right, FPS's are a little under 50% of his total reviews. Granted, they are the single largest single category, but that's not really all that strange, considering that more FPS's are released than most other genres, at the moment, and he's good a healthy dose of most of the other current major active genres (action adventure..). Certainly, I'd like to see him review a strategy or RPG game, but those come out at a somewhat slower pace, so I don't exactly attribute it to a conspiracy.

Certaintly, he mixes it up a good deal.

You missed out Zelda:phantom hourglass, and "the darkness" review, accuracy is a pride that you do not pride yourself upon

ShmenonPie:
Ignorance and bile.

Well, you did ask!

I doubt you even read the comments people leave, and if you do, then you should know that I'm British too, and it's mainly your accent that makes it so funny, it would be crap if an American tried to pull it off. I still can't place your accent around the country, but I'm going to take a stab and say you're a Southener?

that is a very good point, yes, he does definately sound like a southerner, and since you used that term, im going to assume your from the north, or other part of british isles, anyway, its not just the voice, its the generel british cynicism you just cant get anywhere else, "british cynicism, best in the world", anyway, yes...im also british, and as such, i crave dissapointment, which is why yahtzee plays awful games, and i eat kinder-surprise, cheap-nasty chocolate, scummy little toy, a double-barrel! of disillusionment, which is why i call them "the eggs of numbing inevitability", and i always ask for them in the third person, "Richard Smith would like the eggs of numbing inevitability", once, the guy answered back saying "how many would you like?", i said 7, and he replied "thats a whole lot of cheap and nasty chocolate", and then we both laughed, as we both know there is hardly any chocolate anyway.

Yep, I'm from Leeds, which is reasonably north. I can understand craving disappointment, but of other people, not your own? You don't have to self harm by eating the eggs of numbing inevitability, to use your amusing phrase. You need to force them upon small children that don't know any better! (And no, before you call the NSPCC, I'm not serious.) I feel wholly privileged, as I just finished off the latter half of a bar of Galaxy. Mmmm...

hickwarrior:
he said he didn't like RPGs, it seems. Well, JRPGs cause of their dullness and slog(whatever slog means).

Do you know any RPG that might be worth it then? Cause all i see are turn-based ones. Kingdom hearts comes to my mind then. and what kind of strategy?

Slog:
-noun
6. a long, tiring walk or march.
7. long, laborious work.
8. a heavy blow.
There you are.

Kingdom Hearts games are an interesting one, as I really liked them, although I accept they had flaws. Yahtzee's straying away from retrospectives and covering the latest and greatest (erm... well, worst). After it all calms down after Christmas, with the January void, I think he might do a retrospective or two, and he might have a go at FFXII.

If you're reading this, Yahtzee, I challenge you. Attack FFXII. If you dare.

Well, i hope he tears down that... chain of memories beast... The deck system may never return for me and yet it will. Luckily there are emulators, but let's not discuss that.

ShmenonPie:

hickwarrior:
he said he didn't like RPGs, it seems. Well, JRPGs cause of their dullness and slog(whatever slog means).

Do you know any RPG that might be worth it then? Cause all i see are turn-based ones. Kingdom hearts comes to my mind then. and what kind of strategy?

Slog:
-noun
6. a long, tiring walk or march.
7. long, laborious work.
8. a heavy blow.
There you are.

Kingdom Hearts games are an interesting one, as I really liked them, although I accept they had flaws. Yahtzee's straying away from retrospectives and covering the latest and greatest (erm... well, worst). After it all calms down after Christmas, with the January void, I think he might do a retrospective or two, and he might have a go at FFXII.

If you're reading this, Yahtzee, I challenge you. Attack FFXII. If you dare.

I would love for him to tear into FF12, the bland equip sets the broken skill/class system the fixed jp only international version, he needs to tear into it ad rape it hard :P

hickwarrior
to put it simply alot of RPGs since 01 or so are grind fests that in trems of gameplay or more repetitive and less rewarding than a mindless shooter!

Also the industry dose not have a solid writing/story/scripting localization teams whitch can add to mind bleeding.

Also I believe he hates anime as well since its too off the wall or stupid for him,I am the opposite I loath hollywood for being, oh hell heres my quotes on holywood.

"Hollywood:Elitist inbred drug addicts who are not happy in their own world recreating fiction so that it fits in the world of the norm and mundane......:ZippyDSM"

"When you change more than half of the fiction you are destroying what it is you seek to create.:ZipyDSMlee"

"I'll take my fiction unedited please!:ZipyDSMlee"

Anime and JRPGs can be over the top but I prefer fiction(and gameplay) unbound rather than mundane and realistic.

So... basically it's Clive Barker's HOUSE OF THE DEAD?

[quote=Kronopticon

that is a very good point, yes, he does definately sound like a southerner, and since you used that term, im going to assume your from the north, or other part of british isles, anyway, its not just the voice, its the generel british cynicism you just cant get anywhere else, "british cynicism, best in the world", anyway, yes...im also british, and as such, i crave dissapointment, which is why yahtzee plays awful games, and i eat kinder-surprise, cheap-nasty chocolate, scummy little toy, a double-barrel! of disillusionment, which is why i call them "the eggs of numbing inevitability", and i always ask for them in the third person, "Richard Smith would like the eggs of numbing inevitability", once, the guy answered back saying "how many would you like?", i said 7, and he replied "thats a whole lot of cheap and nasty chocolate", and then we both laughed, as we both know there is hardly any chocolate anyway.[/quote]

A Bill Bailey fan I take it? :P

I was saddened to see how this game turned out. All those years ago, Clive Barker's Undying was a breath of fresh air, and a most enjoyable game, so I was pleased to see Clive Barker once again getting involved in game design.

But what a let-down. The Simon-Says-Stupid button sequence clinched it, though. When I first saw it, it just made me want the code to somehow take a human form, so it could be punched in the face. Perhaps it's the fact that every game made now has to be ported to every damn thing with a CPU in it.

the review was fun, but this game is not one of the over-hyped crap that we use to see lately, its a modest title with its flaws, but its fun to play it with a good story and characters

harsh reviews are funnier when they are directed at games that every stupid review gave it a 10 when the truth is that are pure crap, example: Bioshock, Halo 3, or Hellgate: London (this one is just too bad to have 10s, but it has fairly good marks because of being rleased by the Diablo 2 dudes)

I've only heard of this game in his reviews...

Heroic One:
I've only heard of this game in his reviews...

Exactly.

nianoniano:
the review was fun, but this game is not one of the over-hyped crap that we use to see lately, its a modest title with its flaws, but its fun to play it with a good story and characters

harsh reviews are funnier when they are directed at games that every stupid review gave it a 10 when the truth is that are pure crap, example: Bioshock, Halo 3, or Hellgate: London (this one is just too bad to have 10s, but it has fairly good marks because of being rleased by the Diablo 2 dudes)

Huh, I can understand that you may put a 6 or a 7 on games that got 10s all the way, but going down to the point of saying that Bioshock and Halo 3 are crap does not sound that credible either.
Of course, if you have gripes against the FPS genre, that is your right. But that means your opinion won't be relevant. A score usually means something if a game's weighed by those who actually fancy the genre it belongs to.

Have to agree with the people saying "Yahtzee's back" or similar, Yahtzee. Your Halo 3 to the Phantom Hourglass review were pretty dry compared to all of your previous reviews. Looking forward to the next one.

Arbre:

nianoniano:
the review was fun, but this game is not one of the over-hyped crap that we use to see lately, its a modest title with its flaws, but its fun to play it with a good story and characters

harsh reviews are funnier when they are directed at games that every stupid review gave it a 10 when the truth is that are pure crap, example: Bioshock, Halo 3, or Hellgate: London (this one is just too bad to have 10s, but it has fairly good marks because of being rleased by the Diablo 2 dudes)

Huh, I can understand that you may put a 6 or a 7 on games that got 10s all the way, but going down to the point of saying that Bioshock and Halo 3 are crap does not sound that credible either.
Of course, if you have gripes against the FPS genre, that is your right. But that means your opinion won't be relevant. A score usually means something if a game's weighed by those who actually fancy the genre it belongs to.

is not like they are total crap, but they stil dont deserve their 10s, and only the fact that you can't stop hearing about them everywhere makes me want to bash them, thats why I find funnier when Yahtzee reviews those games, I almost never hear anything about Zelda, Jericho or Mario, so, its not like those games are annoying me like Bioshock or Halo 3 do

you know Yahtzee mentioned the God of War button bash thing, then said it should be Shenmue, well didnt Die Hard Arcade do it before that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Hard_Arcade

I mean i really dont care that much myself, but if people think that Shenmue was first, are they not wrong? then again not many people may have played Die Hard Arcade....

as always a brilliant display of hatred. loved it.

assassins creed would probably be ripe for review :-)

I'd like to have Yahtzee tackle other things than games.

Hey Yahtzee, if you need some more games to trash, you could always review Crash: Twinsanity or some other putrid excuse for a video game.

I'd love to hear a review by Yahtzee on Assassins Creed or Mass Effect because this one was brilliant!

I dunno, I think something like Mass Effect or Assassins Creed would be too awesome for him to review.

Don't get me wrong, I'd be happy if he did review them, it's just that he did start off this Jericho by saying he wasn't getting to review enough crappy ones.

However, if Jericho was enough of a break for the guy from good games, then they would be great suggestions.

My fiancee thought Clive Barker's Jericho looked good (she loves the survival/horror genre in film and this carried over well - she finally became a proper gamer after I introduced her to Silent Hill 2 and she's blossomed nicely over the last two years). She was bewildered and annoyed by the demo. After watching this review, I decided that there was enough incentive to not waste my time and promptly freed up a few hundred megs from the ever expanding collection of XBox Live detritus that is cluttering up the 12 gigs of usuable space out of the 20 gig HDD that came with my 'Premium' 360 a year ago.

While I'm dearly loving Mass Effect, there is MORE than enough for Yahtzee to rip the holy living fuck out of it. And as a Halo fan who thoroughly enjoyed (and couldn't argue with any of) the comments made about Halo 3, I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm certain this week would have to be a toss-up between Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed and I think both are equally bursting with flaws that can translated into Yahtzee's now trademark animation style.

Then again, I'm sure there's a third game out there that we're all missing and will be surprised with in... what, 3 and a half hours? On one hand, I want to stay awake for that so I don't have to wait until I get home from work to watch it. On the other hand, it will be 4am when the video goes up, assuming it's on schedule.

I do, however, work in a call centre and as a highly trained Insurance Consultant can now explain the ins and outs of worker's compensation in my sleep. The clients won't notice because apparently business owners in Australia are by and large the stupidest people you will ever encounter - then again, maybe I just don't get to talk to any smart ones because they know how to complete their forms correctly without me defining exactly what my company means by the term "office use only".

Man, this game blew. Clive Barker's Undying was so good too...

Do Crysis next! You KNOW you want to!

*Steadily holds .223 Caliber Rifle to Yahtzee's head*

Yahtzee is my hero!

Undying was such a great game: it was immersive, had a great story and varied environments. I guess sometimes it's just better to stick with a winning formula...

Even though it may be a repetitive game, the pictures and talk of what you do makes me want to play it. And the review was fun.

This game sounds as bad as an UWE BOLL movie LOL

"anyway, yes...im also british, and as such, i crave dissapointment,"

Bill Bailey! : )

Nyahaha. To date, this is still my all-time favourite ZP.

Despot:
Undying was such a great game: it was immersive, had a great story and varied environments. I guess sometimes it's just better to stick with a winning formula...

Indeed it is a bit strange... Clive Barker is one of the best horror authors (I certainly prefer it to Stephen King, but that is a matter of taste) and many movies based on his novels were GRAET ehm.. great!

In a wild guess I think that IN SPITE of Barker efforts the company that made the game gloriously fucked up...

Ignorance and Bile

This game was so awful.

I am gonna try to defend Jericho.....
first let me get the shit out of the way hahahaha
I agree there was alot of controller throwing frustration.
1. the pillbox area for sure.
2. at the end of the world war 2 area where you have to warp to a specific team member and move to the EXACT spot to activate the event, but without any clues or hints (I gave up and returned the rental at that point and decided the game sucked balls too at that point! but later bought the game anyways cause I like clive barker a great big huggy bunch)
alright I lose lmao!!
I was gonna say that there are many things that I REALLY like about the game.
I've been planning for a week how I would make LIGHT of the game. But your kinda right about it being X-MEN mixed with the MATRIX. After figuring out the weird moon logic of the developers I had many great and exilerating battles using all of the special powers in my own inventive ways.
But your right about it being pretty broken and like I say I lose, at least you finished the game.....

Despite the bad review I rented this game to give it a spin, we all know Yahtzee likes to nit pick and well, I thought it might be ok, the little screen shots looked pretty good and overall, the game looked like it might give a scare or two.

I was wrong. In all my years I have never, ever, encountered a game this bad, it's like they took every bad aspect from every FPS ever made and duct taped it together. The level design is not only monotonous it's also bland, linear and generally painfully boring. Terrible one liners are repeated hundreds of thousands of times, almost as much as the enemies repeat, in battle the whole thing becomes a clusterfuck and there's so many people in your 'squad' i actually felt bad for the demons i was fighting because of how badly you outnumber them. There's no ammunition, nothing in terms of objects or cover and overall claiming this game as a horror FPS is like claiming that Doom3 wasn't dark enough. I think the combination of having an entire army of superheros, infinite ammunition and the ability to revive endlessly, took away and sense of vulnerability. But the thing that gets me is, theres no redeeming factors, nothing, quicktime events pointless, characters obnoxious, storyline no sense and graphics as terrible as everything else.

Theres not excuse for this game, Clive is a well known horror writer, so i assume he writes things that scare people. Ergo one would expect a halfway scary game, but what we get is the total opposite.

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