Yahtzee Visits Valve, a Travelogue

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Epic ending.

That is so cool that you got to see the inner workings of Valve, don't you feel super special now, you charismatic stallion!

Also, who's the Meet the video for? DAMN YOU MAN I MUST KNOW! IS IT SPY ITSSPYISNTITOHGODLETITBESPY!!

Going to Valve doesn't always mean you've "hit the big time" (not that this isn't the case!) The people there are generally pretty friendly, and I'll bet if you lived nearby and were polite enough, you could probably get yourself your own tour.
I have e-mails in my inbox direct from Gabe Newell himself, which is something I feel gives the company a bit more of a personal touch. Nice to see that even they thought the Orange Box review was funny. (It's only a matter of time before someone sues the Escapist for hurtful comments in Zero Punctuation)

Sounds like yahtzee had a full and interesting visit to valve.
His description of the atrium to the valve headquarters makes me think there's trophies just littered everywhere, like one would have to watch their step or get their foot impaled by some gold plated trophy.

Grizzzzzzzz:
"How dare he not take lots of time out of going to America and visiting Valve to make a video, like the ones he has given up time for week after week."

Sigh.

I feel that sigh. :)
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that with being transported across international waters to and fro consumes a bit of ones time. What time would you people (not you Griz) have Yatzee have to;
1) play a game to review,
2) create a video review,
(this is ignoring the 1.5 step, write up a script to work with.

No, a journey to my home town, and meeting with Valve (on their dime no less) is more than acceptable, and I will live another week.

So in Yatzees' place, I'm going to say, piss off. :)

If I had any actual Flash skills, I would threaten to toss this thing into a video and do my best (i.e. worst) Yahtzee impression set to cut-&-paste graphics from previous videos. This threat is of course an idle one, as I have no actual inclination to do extra work to turn awesomeness into a semi-competent bastardized remake. Plus, this way people have to read the thing. Literacy FTW!

- Alan

Great blog. The ending was utterly fabulous. I was all, "Awww, Yahtzee's getting soft..." and then read the ending and cracked up at my desk. <3 ya, Yahtzee.

Firia:

I feel that sigh. :)
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that with being transported across international waters to and fro consumes a bit of ones time. What time would you people (not you Griz) have Yatzee have to;
1) play a game to review,
2) create a video review,
(this is ignoring the 1.5 step, write up a script to work with.

No, a journey to my home town, and meeting with Valve (on their dime no less) is more than acceptable, and I will live another week.

So in Yatzees' place, I'm going to say, piss off. :)

^^ signed ;)

At first I thought Yahtzee got kidnapped by a horde of people wielding pitchforks (or fired), due to his reviews and that we'd never see the man with the hat again, ever. But as my brain recognized what the fuck it was presented with (it's a little, shall we say, clogged at times), I was pleasantly surprised. I actually thought the whole piece was pretty funny, the end just put the cherry on top.

I love the videos, but the writing is solid too, why not make both in the future. They're completely different. The videos are very satirical and I don't think what you say about the games in them actually represents your true feelings, so why not write a blog entry for each new video where you can write in a more objective, but still Yahtzee-Style (like this entry here), manner. Idea? I'd certainly appreciate every bit of it. ;)

Whatever, be back next week. You're a fucking card mate!
y

Glad you had fun!

The last paragraph was hilarious.

omigod no vidjo wtfrofflesauce! Jesus people, it's called reading, it's healthy for you and it's properly written. I appreciate your Travelogue, YZ, definitely a great view into the world that is America through your eyes. Gotta say, you got it spot on.

There was a post on the first page asking if anyone else could hear Yahtzee's voice while reading the 'logue... safe to say, I'm in the boat with you. I guess that's what I get for watching these things a lot.

Edit: obvious drunken misuse of words somewhere in the opening.

I'm a Southern Californian and I'M surprised you were so nice about LA in that small place you mentioned it. LA is a horrible, horrible place, and is one of the worst cities in the US. As far as California goes, San Fransisco, and San Diego are much nicer :)

But yeah, I've never been up to Washington before, Seattle looks nice. And I honestly didn't know that valve operated like that, that's pretty cool.

And I'm quite glad you got to eat more than just fast food, cause fast food sucks, and not every American eats it ;)

silly west side bumpkins, more pollution there than people. East side is cleaner and has friendlier people. and thank you, saylex, for educating these cretons on what "reading" is. this is a magazine, after all.

and now that you've visited valve i hope you can answer. where is barney?
at least i hope you asked.

Seattle is one of the nicer cities in the US, relatively modern, progressive. Outside of the west coast and northeast (and college towns), the stereotyped 'guns and flags' American is much better represented.

The fatness is due to all the high fructose corn syrup and MSG, which is usually disguised under some other name like natural flavor, spice, and hydrolyzed vegetable protein.

Yahtzee is cute, boy would I screw him.

I very much envy you, sir. I've always wanted to meet Gabe Newell, and visit Valve.

Was Mr. Newell as powerful in person as he sounds in his few commentary nodes?

Oh bravo. On one hand I hope he doesn't lose his objectivity, now that he's big enough that companies are courting him; On the other hand it's refreshing to see that flash of the old yahtzee at the end!

As for that stuff about giving americans allot of shit. (shrug) He gives everybody allot of shit, it's not like we get singled out! Besides, he's right. Medium as the smallest size is very stupid.

Aww, you came all this way and didn't come see your fans over at Xbox? Well, fan.

It stopped raining, too.

DAMN! I thought America would be able to hide its shame until you were in the air at least. I dislike the new sizes, but luckily for me I was always a medium guy anyway. I like the travelouge, but now I am HIGHLY anticipating a video review. I really look forward to them.

Hah, Yahtzee you fool! Valve are just buttering you up for their Zombie Holocaust! ;)

"Medium," "Large" and "King Size"? What the fuck is that? How the fuck can "Medium" be the smallest? Do you even know what the word "Medium" means? This is why you're all so fat, you bunch of road sign-shooting Yankee pillocks.

still laughing of this brilliant "comeback"
crowbars on the walls? art? humm, maybe I'll concider to begin as an artist.. putting shovels, fishhooks, CD's and other shit on plaques and selling them $.$
next wednsday = funfunfun!

To much punctuation!

Surprise, surprise! There are Americans who aren't complete idiots. Then there's people like me who signed up for a new account and in the process forgot my password.

I'm wondering if Yahtzee was referring to the Top Gear ep where they discover that Alabamans had shot the crap out of their own "Welcome to Alabama" sign in that very last statement.

Fishermon:

crowbars on the walls? art? humm, maybe I'll concider to begin as an artist.. putting shovels, fishhooks, CD's and other shit on plaques and selling them $.$
next wednsday = funfunfun!

I lol'd at that. one man's trash is another man's treasure I presume

i was about to spout some shit about having parts of your body firmly embedded up valves arse but then i figured, what the fuck, i'd be the same, good on you, roflmao

btw, COD 4 please, i'd be interested in what you have to say about this cracking game.

My god, that's a bad goatee. Or perhaps it's the facial expression. Either way, he looks far better in 2D. Nice hat, though.

rebochan:
Am I the only one that could just mentally imagine Yahtzee's voice speeding along while reading the text?

Nope, that was you and me both.

I do the same thing when I read the text reviews on fullyramblomatic.com

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on a second. Back up. Hold da phone. Stop right there. Other phrases for "stop" in the imperative.

...Why were Nintendo employees at Valve?

some of whom apparently worked on the localization of Super Paper Mario and had seen my review of same. We saw eye to eye once they stopped pushing my head down the toilet.

LoL...

That's got to be a constant thing on your mind as a game critic that travels. I can't wait to hear about how this intensifies over time.

i was just wondering... is it possible to have a subtitled version? my english isnt that good so sometimes you say a word that i dont know and i kinda get lost for some time... it would really help international viewers ;D

didn't see that ending coming, gj... i thought you we're already bought by the americans xD

God damn, Yahtzee, that is a badass hat.

I love how he ended this one! XD

To revalation to utter irony!

THAT'S how irony goes!

I was busy being simultaneously entertained and yet sad because this entry was seemingly devoid of anger or cynicism of any kind, but then I read the last paragraph and the latter dropped off, leaving only entertainment.

Good stuff!

Some people further up have written that Yahtzee's writing style is different than his videos, but I have to agree with the guy who could hear his voice as he was scrolling along. It's a very distinctive style, last paragraph being a case-in-point.

Keep it up, Yahtzee.

Hat = awesomeness.

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