Zero Punctuation: F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate

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F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate

Yahtzee faces F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate.

Watch Video

Very good, mass lols.

what ?! no assassins creed review ...
big disappointment ;(

Well. I wasn't expecting F.E.A.R.
But still, you still make me hate the game as much as I obviously should do.
Good one Yahtzee.

Yep, that is what I expected from it. Thanks for showing me I was right..

btw, got any plans to review Oblivion? I think you'd know what to do with that..

Funny as always, but where are the Mass Effect, Assassin's Creed, Ace Combat 6 and Call of Duty 4 reviews? >:{

I don't know. It didn't seem as angry as you usually do. Understandable, though. You did say you were jetlagged. Plus, you've just had a week of being catered to by the good folks at Valve.

Hopefully by next week you'll be back to the raving, game-shitting-on Yahtzee we all come to know and love.

I want whoever comes up with "FEAR: Perseus Mandate" to team up with whoever thought of "Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow" and create the most impenetrably-named creative work of all time.

(I've never played FEAR and don't want to, so this is as close as I'm going to come to an on-topic post.)

hmmm... a lot of FPS games... why not review something different? a GOOD RPG perhaps or maybe the Escapist could make him review a turn based strategy game just to hear how much he loathes them.

The voice seemed different. :S
And yeah, expected other games. :(

I'm a bit scared to see a Mario Galaxy review only because of what's so good about it, disconcerning the easy curve and the gazillion 1up's you get in the game in comparison to the bazzillion Star Bits you get in the game.

Sweet review, even though I have no such systems or a strong enough PC.

I'd just like to say congratulation to not giving in, both to you and The Escapist. I think I would've been a bit disappointed if the review was on of the ones people have been screaming for. Glad to see you're reviewing what you want, and also.. it was great as ever. I'm out of the country at the moment, and GOD it's good to here something with true British humour once a week.

Same experience with F.E.A.R. here too. A really great game a couple of years ago but overpriced for its length and you needed a $10 million rig to run it properly. Liked the game, played the demo for the 1st expansion. Don't care about this one. It's time for Monolith to move on.

EDIT: I've already acknowledged my mistake about Monolith making the expansion packs for F.E.A.R. in a later post. Although it is funny to me that people would point out MY lack of research without bothering to read all the posts on this forum.

Great review, Yahtzee.

So where is that ZP-style art of theft review? :P I didn't make it though. I swear. Don't look at me like that.

Ghost Busters music was the best part. And I have never heard anyone but me and a few of my friends say "balls to the wall"

well i didn't see this one coming but glad it was done. i played the original FEAR and thought it was alot of fun after all at the time it was new and different. but seeing as how this game is quite literally a copy of the first game on the same engine it seems very out of place. and then throw in the fact that there is already a real sequel to the game in the works (Project Origin) this thing was just a way for the company who owns the title to make some money on it with little or no work.

hickwarrior:
Great review, Yahtzee.

So where is that ZP-style art of theft review? :P I didn't make it though. I swear. Don't look at me like that.

Google (or whatever you use) "Some Punctuation". It's on a few different sites.

The Youtube guy who made that ZP-style Art of Theft review actually did a convincing job. Albeit his vocal clarity leaves something to be desired (and sounds whiney) and all he did was steal Yahtzee's ZP template.
Maybe you can make him your understudy eh, Yahtzee?

Awesome review, Yahtzee.

FYI: Here is the linkage for you people.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6XSpPIBvjN4

I think yatzee should review himself for being such a dork and reviewing games nobody cares about

Boricua_bob:
I'm a bit scared to see a Mario Galaxy review only because of what's so good about it, disconcerning the easy curve and the gazillion 1up's you get in the game in comparison to the bazzillion Star Bits you get in the game.

Sweet review, even though I have no such systems or a strong enough PC.

I think the 1ups in Mario Galaxy were just a way of quietly removing the concept of lives from the game. If you took out all the free 1ups you wouldn't make the game any harder, just more frustrating IMHO.

Yahtzee did seem a bit tired this week and it seemed a bit flat (also the game seemed to be completely boring and sometimes a game is so bad, one can't even do a proper ranty review). Completely understandable after flying back and forth over the Pacific. At least he didn't crash his car like I did after I did the same thing.

Looking forward to his more lively ranty usual self next week.

alter Egon:
I think yatzee should review himself for being such a dork and reviewing games nobody cares about

Like I said earlier. He seemed a bit off this week. I think it's good that he used this week to review a lesser game that no one cares about (and I had never even heard of) and get back to doing the big-name games next week.

BTW, I just watched the AoT review. Awesome. That guy needs to do 5DaS and 7DaS

the scearch for the 1 dementional idea stealing tard american continues if u know him and see him in the street throw petrol at him and light him or at least kick him in the bollocks

Does Yahtzee ever say anything nice?

Selka:
Does Yahtzee ever say anything nice?

Watch his reviews of Psychonauts and Portal.

yahtzee's a great thing for videogames

but charlie brooker called, he wants his schtick back....

Just don't make him repeat the phrase, "Absolutely sublime from start to finish," as jabbing forks in his eyes might impact the quality of his art.

Now I have to create a game that takes place completely beneath a gigantic lime, just to see what would happen.

Was an unexpected game this week, still pretty good but needs more anger!

Also the AoT review started here if you're interested.

http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=33337&page=74

Personally I thought it was a great parody, not something I'd set someone on fire for but for what it was I thought it was pretty funny.

I think Yahtzee like Assassin's Creed too much, that's why I didn't do a review about the bloody game :oP.

Boricua_bob:
I'm a bit scared to see a Mario Galaxy review only because of what's so good about it, disconcerning the easy curve and the gazillion 1up's you get in the game in comparison to the bazzillion Star Bits you get in the game.

Oh well, helps keep the game more casual. Anyway is annoying having to lose all your lifes everytime you play again so this aspect helps...
One thing that annoyed me with Super mario galaxy is how if you fall into lava you lose 1 lil bit of health and you fall into sand.. you die.. what is going on there? I thought games always tought us to be able to jump out of sand and let lava be the insta death..

Bitterness:
Awesome review, Yahtzee.

FYI: Here is the linkage for you people.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6XSpPIBvjN4

I give him a B+ for effort, but its hard to make out what he's saying. And I will give him a few points for trying to parody Yahtzee.

"You're obviously a none existant create of myth"

LOL! Loved it.

<OFF TOPIC>

On Facebook? Join the ZP group here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6725770567

Cheers!

</OFF TOPIC>

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