Zero Punctuation: F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate

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I'd be angry at a guy who reviewed my game and didn't even play long enough to discover why the "hug wall" key is a toggle. There's a power-up that enables movement along walls, moron!

Wow, I'm so not playing that game. lol

Also, I wanted to know, have you have ever reviewed Kingdom Hearts or any of it's sequels?

rhizic:
for anyone thats not seen them.
this is mine:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kujPzyibQX4

and this some puncuations:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6XSpPIBvjN4

Personally Rhizic, i would prefer the one by Some Punctuation, first of all because i could actually understand something he said and wasn't mumbling all the time, secondly he wasn't shamelessly plugging that he would like to get free games from The Escapist by wanting to work there for no reason at all, thirdly, the review was a lot more mature in my opinion and not just because of the artwork but because of the overal look and feel of it.

But i do understand where Yahtzee is coming from, it's his own personal style and his way to vent and rant on how badly made today's games are. As you have already read in the report on his visit to Valve, game designers and publishers are beginning to take note of his reviews, and if he keeps it up, he might make a serious impact on the gaming industry since he has become quite the phenomenon right now. His videos are being watched all over the world, and i think due to Yahtzee the traffic that The Escapist gets has likely been increased tenfold since Yahtzee joined.

I guess he's due for some respect from his audience, and shamelessly asking him to review certain games or ripping him off and badmouthing one of his favorite hobbies is just bad style. His games are free, and when things are free, you shouldn't complain about them since you have lost nothing on them, except for some of the time you invested in downloading and playing them. Yahtzee makes his reviews because companies make you pay for the filth that they are producing, which not only makes you invest time in bad games, but also makes you waste money that you are going to regret.

So all in all, a big thumbs up for Yahtzee and keep up the good work, and don't let ignorance get you down, there is plenty of that going around in the professional game development industry, especially when it involves in actually making something good.

Not your best, but still, good!

On a general front, its pretty clear Yahtzee was more hardcore than I am, he wanted to "stay in the nightmare," I found the switches back to the regular action to be much needed relief after the game seriously creeped me out during the scare session parts (I should note, only played through part of the original, not the expansion. I can only play so much of the original before I have to put it away and play something more relaxing.

yeah undertow studios i totally agrre with what your saying about the power of the reviewer, particulary with the celebrity that yahtzee has at the minute, i think its a great thing, and like everyone else im a massive fan of yahtzee, the thing with the vids is neither of them are done with evil intent and i dont know about SP one but mines done purely for a laugh, and personally i cant see anyone not really getting it, i doubt very much the yahtzee's really annoyed about either mine or SPs and to be honest it would'nt really bother me, jokey or not i reviewed the game and yes in yahtzee ish style but we both put good and bad, and we both loved the game, we both plugged it to the hilt, and i think he'd appreciate the attention is gotten of the back of it. oh on the other notes, yeah its pretty annoying people saying review this review that but ya know sometimes you want something so much, personally i' crave for a review of some old nes / snes games that'd be fun, and as for ahtzee makes a proper big game, to be honest i dont know his skill level, but i could see him direction and producing a awesomely funny and smart game if he had a competant team.

yeah anyways the point of all that is i doubt yahtzee gives a flying monkey about the reviews if anything he got the joke, and if he really does have a issue with anything i did, he's got my email.

oh and when'd i ask for free games? as if i could write proper haha

Nice one. But I want cod4, somthing tells me it will be similar to the halo 3 one, but with limited credit for been a decent ps3 game.

Am I the only one who finds that Zero Punctuation has been following the same uninspired repetition that Yahtzee continues to harp on FPS games about?

Bioshock, Tomb Raider Anniversary, Manhunt, Halo 3, Tabula Rasa, Orange Box, MOH Airborne, Clive Barker's Jericho, F.E.A.R

Does anyone else see a pattern here? A bunch of shooter games. Sure, some are third person, some are first person, some are RPG-based, and some just plain old suck. Is there any surprise here?

I can't say it's Yahtzee's fault because it appears as though he isn't the one who picks out the games that are reviewed. Nevertheless, it's obvious he's running out of things to say about games that are nearly identical, with the exception of PERHAPS a different setting. This is how shooters have been since the dawn of time, and he's not telling us anything we already know. They've all been cookie-cutter for the past 10 years at least.

Why not review a wider variety of games? If The Escapist insists on sticking to FPS games, why not actually review ones people give a shit about-- such as Call of Duty 4, Hellgate London, or Crysis?

Hat's off for putting Butterfingers in there at the end...

Maybe we can get the yanks listening to some decent music! ;)

Dyskresiac:
This is how shooters have been since the dawn of time, and he's not telling us anything we already know. They've all been cookie-cutter for the past 10 years at least.

Deus-Ex anybody? There are others which in my opinion can't be placed in the same pot as this *bleep* but yeah, I guess this is opinion. Granted it is easier to make a crappy and repeatetive than a creative one which is why such gems as mentioned before are far and few in between.

Undertowstudios:
Personally Rhizic, i would prefer the one by Some Punctuation, first of all because i could actually understand something he said and wasn't mumbling all the time, secondly he wasn't shamelessly plugging that he would like to get free games from The Escapist by wanting to work there for no reason at all, thirdly, the review was a lot more mature in my opinion and not just because of the artwork but because of the overal look and feel of it.

But i do understand where Yahtzee is coming from, it's his own personal style and his way to vent and rant on how badly made today's games are. As you have already read in the report on his visit to Valve, game designers and publishers are beginning to take note of his reviews, and if he keeps it up, he might make a serious impact on the gaming industry since he has become quite the phenomenon right now. His videos are being watched all over the world, and i think due to Yahtzee the traffic that The Escapist gets has likely been increased tenfold since Yahtzee joined.

I guess he's due for some respect from his audience, and shamelessly asking him to review certain games or ripping him off and badmouthing one of his favorite hobbies is just bad style. His games are free, and when things are free, you shouldn't complain about them since you have lost nothing on them, except for some of the time you invested in downloading and playing them. Yahtzee makes his reviews because companies make you pay for the filth that they are producing, which not only makes you invest time in bad games, but also makes you waste money that you are going to regret.

So all in all, a big thumbs up for Yahtzee and keep up the good work, and don't let ignorance get you down, there is plenty of that going around in the professional game development industry, especially when it involves in actually making something good.

I agree with you there on a lot, but handing him games to review that noone (as Dyskreasic said it so nice) "gives a shit" about isn't exactly the way to get more public attention and respect and certainly not one to make him more "famous" than he already is :D

Dys, there is an overkill of shooters on the market, i hear. So it's not surprising at all that he reviews tons of shooters.

Oh, and the guys that are wondering why he isn;t at his best, he did say that he got jet-lag and all.

OK, I just saw that Some Punctuation review of Art of Theft. It kinda makes me want to make my own ZP-style reviews called Zero's Punctuation, starring Zero from the Mega Man X series.

But, I don't have the connection speed, nor the animation programs, nor the drawing talent, nor the attention span to make it. Oh, well.

OK, for all of you completely incapable of actually reading a book, from Webster's New Heritage Dictionary:

Parody: A literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule.

Had these guys taken yellow block/stick figures and marketed themselves as game reviewers, reviewing games every week, using all of Yahtzee's technique and style, THAT would be copying. These guys took a tremendous amount of time to create these videos, in response to a lack of video from someone we all obviously enjoy. The fact that they did so, and reviewed one of Yahtzee's own games... I direct you back to Webster, and try and find the word "irony" in there for me; I'm not doing the work for you this time.

Anyone in this long list of hacks that has actually read a "book" (most wouldn't understand, it's like those papery things that come with games and computer hardware that say "Instructions" at the top, only longer, and with a plot), might say, "oh ho, Yahtzee; hoisted by your own petard!" ...but then few here would understand that reference, either.
But no, dogpile on these mooks in the good ol' vigilante style of the internet. Whatever.

This thread, and the threads on 'Tube, sound like packs of shrieking harpies. Unless you have the ability and talent to do what they have done, sod off.

I thought they were both funny, on several different levels. If that doesn't make sense, perhaps you should go take a 200 level Lit course. They offer things like that at places called "college."

Wotcha

I'm actually wondering if Yahtzee should start reviewing older games. He seems to have quickly churned through the actually INNOVATIVE titles this season, so maybe take a look at the games we remember in history. Like one of the GTA games.

I'd say that was a pretty good review. Not on par with his The Darkness or Fable reviews, but pretty good! Though his complaints on FPSs seem to be getting repetitive, though then again it might be just that FPSs are getting more repetitive on their own these days. I don't think combat is going to get that much diverse when all it is is point and shoot.

and yeah, I do sympathize with having to dip your PC in liquid oxygen like Ed Harris in The Abyss before jumping into hardware-frustration-land.

An other good review! I loved the first fear, extraction point was a bit bland but still ok. However when I tried the perseus mandae demo I uninstalled it after just 15 min or so.

Also I loved that the title for Yahtzees, so that the copycat review is of "the art of theft". That was almost to perfect :)

Yahtzee touches on a reason I don't play PC games anymore. You can get a whole game console for about the cost of a PC video card, it plays on the big TV set and the big stereo, and there's never even a tiny doubt about 'compatibility' when I buy a game. So I was able to play F.E.A.R. on the XBOX 360 without any problem, while 'Supreme Commander' stayed in its box for several months until I got around to buying another PC, because my two year old desktop flat out wouldn't run it, and gave no diagnostic reason whatsoever, and the store wouldn't take the game back once the shrink wrap was off in order for me to discover that the game had some subtle issue with 'texture and lighting'. When I finally got the game running, it was clear they certainly didn't spend any of that extra 'power' I needed on AI, that's for sure.

Anyways, (yawn) the original F.E.A.R. didn't quite suck. That's about all I can say for it. Any sequels? I don't give a damn, because the original wasn't any better than "doesn't quite suck", so why should I expect a sequel to be any better?

Funny and original as always mate, thanks for making my day!
ps
Cant wait for the next week...

Very good review. Funny and, in some dark way, useful as always. I'd love to see a review of Shadow of the Colossus, a ridiculously overrated game.

Great review. Kudos to SP for a valiant effort at copying the master's style.

Methinks ZP does not have to be cranky all the time. Rather, his genius comes from defying conventional wisdom. A review telling us how bad a game played by seventeen people world wide would be a waste of time. A review telling us how wonderful CoD4 would be worthless. A review telling us how wonderful Psychonauts is, a much maligned and underpurchased game, that defies conventional wisdom and is thus hilarious.

I know, I know, ZP hates it when people requests games to review. Yet, I can't resist wondering openly how wonderfully fun it would be watch him tear apart EA for its buggy, laggy, messy, overhyped Battlefield series. Heck, a video just on in-game advertising has infinite potential. At least no more Peggles.

Is SP's 'fair use'? Probably. He's clearly parodying ZP by reviewing his own game. Fair use is not an infinitely large exception, however. Once some bozos copy ZP's sytle to make reviews and start posting them on their commercial websites causing the Escapist to lose traffic, that ain't fair use at all.

I registered just to say this was great. I've never heard of the guy till an hour ago, i've watched all of the reviews in one go and i'm hooked, damn you :). I'm really looking forward to seeing future reviews.

Too bad Yahtzee can't review Prince of Persia: Warrior Within because it's already 3 years old, that would have been an experience to tell the grandchildren about.

Hey you guys thinking of parodying his work, watch out. If he finds out where you live, he may come and burn your house down. He says it at the end of this review.

Anyways back on topic, Good review as usual. Bonus points for using the Ghostbusters theme.

Hey, Yahtzee, what about an Eve Online review?

SyedBob:
Hey, Yahtzee, what about an Eve Online review?

Heh, they do have a new expansion coming out! Dec 5th, to be exact.

And to everyone criticizing people for asking for bigger games to be reviewed, like COD4, Assassin's Creed, Mass effect, etc, keep in mind this site is popular because it's flamed big games in the past few months.

Bioshock, Halo 3, Orange Box, MOH Airborne, those are the best reviews in my opinion because they are big games. (best = most popular) You're essentially roasting them, giving them the business, telling jokes at their expense, making fun of them, tellin it like it is, it's funny cause it's true...this making sense?

No one is going to watch a roast for john smith, but they'll watch a roast of Angelina Jolie! We want to see our heroes/idols/great games get roasted. We don't give a rats ass about smaller titles, stick with roasting the big boys. (It's not funny to watch you roast a game none of us play) Hopefully you've seen a drop in web traffic in the past month and I'm preaching to the quire. We'll see in 2 days I suppose.

For me FEAR is ok to good its better than Q4 and D3 by leaps and bounds it has some more of level design unlike the real corridor shooters out now,had a good mix of AI and melle attacks, sure its not prefect the repetitive level themes and emeines is a bit much but overall better than your average shooter, the expansions however seem to lose a point with each try.

Very nice, ive played the fear series and i completely agree, its almost as bad as half-life when it comes to repeating itself. (but half-life is an awesome game none the less...but im not gona say anything bout fear.)

I just read in PC GAMER that you'll be doing a column in PC GAMER!

HL1 awesome,FEAR less so....HL2 less so..............

>>

yes zippy is teh fail.......

I havn't bought PC Gamer in years. Now I will, solely for ZP. God damnit.

I knew perseus mandate was crap... At least the last 2 FEAR's were enjoyable...

Hm, I really liked FEAR! Sure, the enemies were repetitive, but I kinda liked the story and the horror scenes. I also played the first addon and I still... liked it. But it's true, I got a little demotivated. Very little new background. Basically everybody you know dies and you can't do shit to save them. You kill all those soldiers and still the whole city is torn by that war (how many Replica soldiers are left, by the way? I must've killed more than 700 all on my own during the first two parts and there are supposed to've been 1000 at the start). Now, if the second addon carries on exactly the same way the first did, I guess I wouldn't like it anymore, either. :-(

Also, great Review as always! The Ghostbusters theme obviously fits perfectly.

But even though a game is good, there are always SOMETHING to whine about, some games have more, some have less but every game has a bad side.

I played Assassin's Creed at my friend's house, and now I just can't stop thinking about it, all the cool moves and assassinating guys stealthly and stuff but when you start thinking about the whole game, it's repetetive.

So basically AC is just killing again and again until you get bored of it and do something else and get back to it in a month or two when you suddenly have an urge to kill someone and fell cool when 6-15 guards surround you and you can get the feeling of being Bruce Lee and fight them all with the "Counter" button (of course, you can just do parkour and run away or hit the "Attack" button and try to be like Conan).

But still, is Yahtzee like, an non-social rude guy (Like House, except he's a fictional character and Yahtzee is way cooler) while he reviews a game and when he's NOT working he's a Elder-Loving, Nice-to-everyone-in-the-underground-by-talking-bullsh!t-to-them guy?

It's fine by me what game he review as long as it IS NOT A FREAKING FORMULA/RALLY GAME!!

FEAR is a great game, i wait Crysis REVIEW!!!

beoweasel:

Bitterness:
Awesome review, Yahtzee.

FYI: Here is the linkage for you people.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6XSpPIBvjN4

I give him a B+ for effort, but its hard to make out what he's saying. And I will give him a few points for trying to parody Yahtzee.

If you watch it to the end you might see that it's actually more of a tribute to Yathzee.
At least that's how I understand "keep on making neat games and keep making neat reviews".

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