Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed

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Willias15:
So is it possible to download these reviews??

No, but if you want to share them, just direct people here.

Helps that charismatic stallion paying the rent.

An excellent review, as always. I just purchased the game, and I've read reviews either lambasting or praising it. I do think I'll actually enjoy the free-roaming parts of it. At least, assuming I don't get too bored inbetween assassinations.

wow, a mistake in a zp-review. i am amazed.
showing the prince of persia game covers, he missed 3.
three.
prince of persia, prince of persia 2, and prince of persia 3D.
many people would just like to forget the last one entirely...

and in case anyone doubts that before the creation of ubisoft, games were produced in this sol system: check out this: http://www.princeofpersia3d.com/main.html by 'red orb' (division of 'brøderbund')
prince 1+2 dont seem to have a website, maybe thats because brøderbund was bought by 'tlc' (the learning company), which game division 'game studio' was bought by ubisoft in the end.

so all in all did ubisoft by the rights for the prince, and then produced its own three games - which are the only games yahtzee refers to, which i find sad.

anyway, it was nice to see an orc-battle cry in a review of yahtzee just for once - if only to be used in a upside-down sense since the girl is running away - and not charging as she should be.

I'll forgive a game for mediocre gameplay if the storyline is decent enough, and the middle ages storyline appealed to me.

I think Yahtzee should piss off everyone outside of Australia and review a non-US released game...like Rugby 08.

But whatever the case, I quite dislike the argument that "it tried something new and therefore is good" because really, that's rubbish. Lots of games tried something new, the problem was they weren't very good ideas.

I seriously would rather play a game that sticks with what works than one where the programmers got stoned and took notes. Innovation is great and all but give it a healthy dose of "Don't fix what isn't broken."

Lord T Hawkeye:
But whatever the case, I quite dislike the argument that "it tried something new and therefore is good" because really, that's rubbish.

That's not what he said at all. Overall he liked it, AND it tried something new. There have been previous games he's reviewed where it tried something new and still sucked hairy balls.

On the contrary, even if the game is broken, it's still a positive game, that has, at least, laid down the basics for a better sequel.

If the same is simple or repetitive, well, so be it. I'm still willing to try it, and I'm fairly sure I've played far worse games.

By the way, why does a game that attempts something a tad new goes through so much flak, as being said repetitive, when there's a hell of games such as the RPGs which are extremely repetitive and require you to waste whole pans of hours by packs of twenty to level your bloody characters? And let's not even get into the MMOs.

lol i like the lepper characters - for some reason they come off as so cute :] *beware the alluring eyes of the leppers, they will trance you for a hug*

I thought this review was mediocre at best. It seemed like Yahtzee couldn't decide whether or not to lambaste the game or praise it.

I like "stabby" although "sneak sneak stab stab" is also good :D

hmmmmzz, my preidction is that he will either review Uncharted, Mario Galaxy or Mass Effect next...

I felt like Yahtzee was TRYING to lambaste the game, as is his most usual way, but had enough fun where he just couldn't make good arguments. Overall, I saw him giving it a thumbs up, though I can easily see why you might end up confused.

ShadokatRegn:
Absolutely brilliant, as always, appreciate the honest reviews. I find it amusing that a company would even try to make a game that required a disclaimer - haven't seen one of those since Jet Set Radio Future.

It seems to be a silly trend, but game developers seem to want to add as much wandering around through pointless quests in empty "filler" places (in this case, starting at your home base on top of a fucking mountain at the beginning of every fucking quest) with little action as an attempt to extend the game play hours. Somehow it seems like they think this'll make it worth the additional cash we've been asked to fork over to play their games.

Cheers.

Well its mini levels like on Legacy of Kain 3 or oversized empty ones, a better balance between the 2 would help with pointless busy work, map warp points would be nice to, just to reduce pointless time wasting.

superbleeder12:
I thought this review was mediocre at best. It seemed like Yahtzee couldn't decide whether or not to lambaste the game or praise it.

I could feel how he forced himself.

that's why he said that stuff at the end.

found it hiliarous the Glaswegian headbut comment well placed :D.

hickwarrior:
that's why he said that stuff at the end.

Didn't notice. Usually, his harsh tone matches some griefs anyone could have had at some point against company x, so called common view y (not necessarily vg related) or boring gameplay pitfall z.

That's why his numerous, totally cheap and kid level insults (j'ai deux bollocks, WTF?) that don't even seem to mean anything nor aim at anything really seemed out of place... even for ZeroPonc.

i mean he typed that at the end, that futile thing. You know, asking what games should be raped up the bum.

Towards the end of his reviews. I spent more time watching the animations with the monsters than the text. :)

Ahaha lush review mate. keep it up :)

Arbre:

superbleeder12:
I thought this review was mediocre at best. It seemed like Yahtzee couldn't decide whether or not to lambaste the game or praise it.

I could feel how he forced himself.

I think he should only play crappy games from now on lol

MEH

he's still funny tho

Assassin's Creed... hmmm I have to totally agree with Yahtzee on this one. It's fun to run around and stab people who irk you, but the sword fighting at the very end kind of sucks. I'm still stuck fighting off the legions of knights before i fight Robert..or whatever his name was. Also, you get an XBox Live achievement point for grabbing the annoying ass beggar women around. I didn't get attacked when I did it either. Overall, I enjoyed it.

I liked this review. I daresay it is probably his best so far. I love how some people seem to thing the reviewer must hate the game and rip it a new one for it to be funny, like the Angry Nintendo Nerd or something.

Okay, I've just watched it again. I vote that Yahtzee should make a nice 2D platformer using the characters in this review. I don't know why. The characters just struck me.

Hahahahah. Now I have to rent this baby and thanks for the Benny Hill.

Screw Gamespot, Gamespy, or any other game site. Yahtzee is where all the good ratings happen.

Assassin's Creed seemed to have a problem with taking all it's great concepts and flawing them.
Large Responsive Crowds - Sheepish AI and ineffectualism
Free Running - Matrix-style jump system that would you send you flying backwards off a wall, probably into a mob of Crusaders who you were trying to escape from
Medieval and Futuristic Storyline - Long, boring, unskippable cut-scenes
Being an Assassin - Lack of ability to plan Assassinations, couple with the complete omission fo stealth
Free Roaming - Linearity

Oh, and whose idea was it to include the lepers? It's not that I don't love them hitting me, or blocking the way when I'm trying to assassinate someone.

I loved the prince of persia series but asassins creed is copying/making fun of it. but hey, its by the same company.

gotta love the stuff about the prince listening to linkin park!

Love the Reviews! ClaSick!

Microsoft XBOX 360 and Playstation fans have been enjoying a new game called Assassin's Creed. The game reveals the story of Al-Tair and his missions as an assassin during the time of the Christian crusades.

If you are a fan of the game or interested in the history of the Hashashin, then call into the show and share your thoughts!

http://www.hotconflict.com/blog/2008/01/jihad-over-jeru.html

I was rather fond of the Faffing About Creed comment.

Only a little upending the tea-table could have helped.

'Mister Stabby, doo doo doodoo doo doo...'

Ranzel:
I felt like Yahtzee was TRYING to lambaste the game, as is his most usual way, but had enough fun where he just couldn't make good arguments. Overall, I saw him giving it a thumbs up, though I can easily see why you might end up confused.

Wel he actually said in the beginning that the game was not great ( HL Orange Box) nor bad (CB's jericho LOL) and that he had fun playing it.

I think his review was quite honest.

this is so true!! HAHA great review

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