Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero III

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Beaten.

I like Guitar Hero III and I guess I can be considered a freak for being able to beat Hard mode and go all the way to the last set of songs in Expert mode...but even I've to admit that the extreme difficulty for the last set of songs in Expert mode is just sadistic. Blood Rain is just bullshit on Expert mode and to this day, it's taunting me for not being able to pass it.

I loved the previous Guitar Hero series because even though the songs were hard, they were still quite passable and when you passed Expert mode, you really felt a sense of accomplishment. Now it just feels kinda mean to set the bar up so high that only a select few can actually pass the damn mode.

No, honestly, who the f is Tom Morello?

samir_nayanajaad:
At fundude 365 you should watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4

have done... all true... and Yahtzee is not Stephen Fry, we are perfectly allowed to question him... And of course Rage Against the Machine are just a band, but they're also the first choice for any rabble rouser who wants to stir discontent against an establishment for a probably legitimate reason (U.S. Government have learned fuck all since Vietnam... RATM just happen to be a good outlet for my rage when the world appears to be turning into a steaming pile of bullshit)

GH sucks. EoD

colinhunt:
No, honestly, who the f is Tom Morello?

Lead guitarist from band; Rage Against the Machine

fundude365:

colinhunt:
No, honestly, who the f is Tom Morello?

Lead guitarist from band; Rage Against the Machine

Also lead guitarist for Audioslave.

Exposed Lie:
i cant believe im the first to mention this (or at least i think i am) but...what the hell is wrong with learning to play a real guitar? :|

also

bride_of_lister:
You keep telling yourself that Yahtzee... but you did make me stay up another hour because I knew that the new Zero Punctuation would be out. Feel free to gloat over your ability to keep a girl awake all night.

haha, that made me laugh quite a bit :D

Nothing wrong with learning to play a real guitar... this of course has no bearing on playing Guitar Hero as one might say why not learn to shoot a real gun instead of playing Halo? There isn't really any connection. God forbid people play games for fun occasionally.

I can't believe anyone would think Rage Against the Machine are in any way "legends". Even a fan of them should realise they're not quite on par with the true 80s rock icons.

Anyway, great review (as always). Never played Guitar Hero, but I found your review distinctly homoerotic nonetheless. I mean, uh, humorous, distinctly humorous...

@Dectilon

Exactly, I think I played it for maybe 8 hours total then just dropped it completely. Great game for a while, but not worth investing lots of time in.

I think one issue is that there's a difficulty wall (on GH1, anyway, didn't play the others) a few songs into Hard difficulty that requires you to get a bit obsessive about the game in order to get anywhere. So for an average player like me, once you've done Medium there's not much left.

Darren Grey:
I can't believe anyone would think Rage Against the Machine are in any way "legends". Even a fan of them should realise they're not quite on par with the true 80s rock icons.

Anyway, great review (as always). Never played Guitar Hero, but I found your review distinctly homoerotic nonetheless. I mean, uh, humorous, distinctly humorous...

I think anyone who had the original master of 'Killing in the Name' played at one in the afternoon on a mainstream Radio program without any editing to compensate for the torrent of the word fuck at the end of the song can be considered legendary. At least infamous, even if it was only a mistake on the part of the DJ. And, as I said, 'Guerilla radio' featured on the Soundtrack, and incidentally on the starting video, of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and that was easily one of the most popular PS1 games. Please allow at least infamous.

Aihal:
So for an average player like me, once you've done Medium there's not much left.

Too True

So is it safe to assume that GH isn't any easier for actual guitar players? Because I was thinking about getting the game but if my previous guitar knowledge won't help me, then never mind.

I'm scared of spiders, but the Paris Hilton head scared me more. Brr.

nice one man, but no1 called u gay.

Zera:
Btw did anyone noticed this? when he showed a screenshot of Guitar Hero 3 in game, he pointed at the Gamespot logo at the bottom corner and called them jerks

1/4th to 1/2 of the fun of ZP reviews are the little things that show up on the screen, its part of what makes them worth watching multiple times. :)

stacia123:
So is it safe to assume that GH isn't any easier for actual guitar players? Because I was thinking about getting the game but if my previous guitar knowledge won't help me, then never mind.

I'm scared of spiders, but the Paris Hilton head scared me more. Brr.

Oh no... the game's fine on Easy for a first-time player then the jumps aren't quite as drastic Yahtzee claims it's simply an exercise in hyperbole (sorry, exaggeration) to make the review more interesting... my first song on medium was Killing in the name and I made 4 stars bordering five.

I liked South Parks Review of this Abomination they call a "Video Game" in the Episode "Guitar Queer-o" a lot more.
(2min excerpt) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUoJgsOe9ME

My thoughts exactly Yahtzee. Thats why I stick with Rock Band.

Also was the scene with the guy with his back to the brick wall a allusion to Pink Floyd's The Wall? Send me a message if it was please.

Also one more thing.

Where the fuck is Clive? I was more pissed about him being left out then anything.

Yahtzee, you know denial is the first phase, right? ;)

I do take a little offense, though, at calling hardcore players "freaks" - even though I know you did that for comical relief. If you were to hang out with a selection of hardcore players, you'd find out they are pretty normal gamers, but that instead of playing lots of games once or twice, they use their allotted "game time" to specialise in a few games (or a genre) because they really like them and want to squeeze out all the enjoyment they can. Find new challenges within the game, break the A.I., stuff like that.

So no excuses - you're not up to snuff as far as GH3 is concerned. Don't blame the game for offering you a challenge in the later levels, why not "get into shape" and face it? :)

Great review Yahtzee, as always

I've been thinking about getting GH for awhile but I once tryed to play GH once at a friends house the experience still make me want to put a plastic bag over my head from embarrisment.

Guessing this one is harder, so I suppose I'll just have suck a guys testical instead.

...wait

fundude365:
Tom Morello is more of a legend of rock

Shoo, shoo emo boy!

Anyway, I didn't bother with Guitar Hero 2 - let alone 3 - because the tracklist made me feel truely quite ill. Someone convinced me to try it but the endless alt/indie/emo rubbish put me off.

So, the same applies with GH3. The tracklist is still somewhat diverse, but there's not enough classic rock. You know, the really good stuff, like Blue Oyster Cult, Ramones, Who, Kinks, Cream, Police etc. So, I'll stick with the original and the GH2 demo (love YYZ), thanks.

And, Yahtzee: another impeccable review sir, bravo!

Chis:

fundude365:
Tom Morello is more of a legend of rock

Shoo, shoo emo boy!

WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU CALLING ME AN EMO?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE WHO HAS MET ME FOR EVEN TWO SECONDS COULD TELL YOU OTHERWISE! I SPIT ON TAKING BACK SUNDAY AND FALL OUT BOY AND MY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL IN THE LACK OF BLACK AND FRINGE! I LISTEN TO FUCKING REEL BIG FISH BY HIS GREAT NOODLY APPENDAGE!

As you can probably tell I'm a little bit testy about being called an emo... mostly because most emos I have ever come into contact with are such wasters that it insults my sense of self respect, which I carefully preserved through five years of having the shit bullied out of me at secondary school, to call me as such.

VMerken:
So no excuses - you're not up to snuff as far as GH3 is concerned. Don't blame the game for offering you a challenge in the later levels, why not "get into shape" and face it? :)

Why does GH always boil down to a pissing contest? If someone says it is 'hard' someone else comes along with more free time than sense to brag about how they 100%-ed the song blindfolded and with no hands.

The point being made wasn't the game is 'hard' but that the learning curve that serves you well all the way from easy (I'm a wii owner who never played GH and had to work his way up) suddenly stops being a curve and turns vertical like some insurmountable rock chasm where the game taunts you to climb its heights only to throw you to the ground and dash your brains out on the jagged rocks below.

Sure, we've all seen the YouTubes of various people whizzing through Dragonforce's song on expert, but the game stops being fun at that point and becomes a chore as you labouriously repeat the songs again and again as your fingers turn in a multitude of pretzel contortions (GH causes arthritis, I'm calling it here and now).

And just to throw this in there, Morello is FAR more of a legend of rock than the ego-train wreck that is Slash, not just playing guitar on our generations most famous rock anthems but also adding the hat of remixer and producer to his collection. I felt slighted for him that he was the 'easier' boss on the game.

zerotrace:
"Don't tell me I suck because I four starred Free Bird on hard"

You suck.

I completed Guitar Hero 2 on the release date within 3 hours...Then again, I'm one of those freaks you described.

And Raining Blood is easy once you can sort the HOPOs out.

In short...If you think the last tier is hard...Try beating Lou on expert (comes down to luck really), and then, complete Through The Fire and Flames.

You think you have wankers cramp?: http://zerotrace.blogspot.com/2007/11/ah-fuck-wanking-cramp.html

And of course...My Guitar Hero 3 stat page: http://www.guitarhero.com/accounts/235525

Good review though, kept me laughing :D

Is this post supposed to impress us or make us pity you because u spent all that time playing Simon Say's alone in your room?

Of course you're not gay, Yahtzee, of course you aren't... :P
/jk

Great video, Yahtzee! You are, as always, Tha' Man!

As one who has played a "real" instrument (if you can call a saxaphone a "real" instrument - which I'd rather not) I'd rather learn to play a real guitar than learn how to play a plastic one with buttons on it. I know that sounds worse than I meant it - I'm not trying to be disparaging of those who have the game and are getting "good" at it - I'd just like to learn to play the damn guitar instead of spending time to perfect a "fake" one. That being said, I'd like to at least at least rent GH3, but almost certainly won't.

o.O

*walks away, shaking head*

Edit: fair enough Funduke, I had my fair share of it at school as well. :P

Still, I have issues with Morello: he cannot physically do anything more than play the same vamp over and over, maybe then play a different one over and over, do a short one-note solo whilst doing some overly enthusiastic posturing... then play the first vamp over and over again. That's all he did on the first Audioslave album, at least.

I'll take the Mars Volta, thanks. (Although the Levellers are quite nice - Yahtzee you charismatic stallion, your taste in music is diverse and interesting! Hell, you've even gotten me to listen to Frankie Valli. The closest I ever got to doo-wop was the first Zappa album!)

Another edit: Any video featuring Pete Townshend in some way shape or form is worth seeing. More points to you, Mr. Yahtzee.

Sorry to interrupt, but I gotta say this : Great review, I loved how personal this one got. I must admit, I'm a whimp when it comes to Guitar Hero and holding that guitar makes me feel like a total chode (the kind who bring guitars to class and play it during break), though it is addicting; if anything I hope my friends haven't deleted the band I made on GH2, DonPachi.

I was never that big on Guitar Hero, though admitedly my experience with the game consists of going to an EB Games, playing the game hooked up there, beating a song on medium and going away thinking "meh". But I think there would be a problem if there isn't a brick wall in a rhythm game. I mean, it should provide a challenge to everyone, even the most hardcore. And it's not like it'll be difficult to make more difficult note graphs; just add more. In any case, I just hope Konami brings out a console version of Keyboard Mania sometime in NA, even though it will never happen.

Chis:
You know, the really good stuff, like Blue Oyster Cult, Ramones, Who, Kinks, Cream, Police etc.

Agreed - this is one of the additional reasons why I'm strongly preferring Rock Band. There is still a distinct lack of Clapton/Cream, but I'm really hoping that gets fixed in future download packs.

The other reason is that the songs are just charted a lot better, they're more fun to play (though admittedly not as difficult, if that's your thing). GH3 was obviously catering to the most hardcore, youtube-posting fans of the series by cranking up the difficulty level, but it really sucked some of the magic out of it. I bet a comparison of some of the dual-released tracks would be interesting.

Eh, Guitar Hero was never really my thing, although it does seem considerably popular with people who play nothing else.

That hat of yours is rather suspicious though Yahtzee.

Nice Gamespot zing there.

LOL, Yahtzee came out of the closet in the latest ZP. Nobody in the northern hemisphere, but the sheep down there might be prejudiced against you.

Great review, keep them coming.

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