Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero III

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I registered just to say:

There IS, absolutely IS, coop quickplay. It's under the 'Multiplayer' section, instead of being on the main menu. Shame, Yahtzee!

But, now that I'm here, I might as well spew my unsolicited opinion like every one else:

Gay jokes aren't all that funny. The odd one here or there's fine, but a whole review with the theme... it just isn't funny. Been done before and way better. Sorry.

rhizic:
am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks? i mean come on, its on a super powerful computer and you get what a couple of dozen songs? all but four suck, and its completely repetative game play. could they not just bump it up? anyways amazing review [but isnt it always] the blue screen bit at the end was well good.

no, your not. learn real fucking guitar, you priks.

having said that, i guessguitar hero is as good as it gets as far as party games go. as already said in review, at least it has some decent music in it.

great episode!:D your the only reason i registerd on this site... i wanted to make comments on your videos... IM NOT GAY!

Hell yes, Yahtzee. Chalk another success up on the ol' Board of Funny.

TSED:
I registered just to say:

There IS, absolutely IS, coop quickplay. It's under the 'Multiplayer' section, instead of being on the main menu. Shame, Yahtzee!

But, now that I'm here, I might as well spew my unsolicited opinion like every one else:

Gay jokes aren't all that funny. The odd one here or there's fine, but a whole review with the theme... it just isn't funny. Been done before and way better. Sorry.

Hell, he probably does it just to egg people like me on... such a tease...

First time poster, but I love Yahtzees reviews, it usually hit the nail straight home and did it again with this. It even got an impact on my local gamestore, we watched the Jericho review and he decided not to bring the shait into the store :)

JoeCooL:

No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays

You can also look at the date posted, the lack of Mike Oldfield and that Mark Knopfler is rated under both Tom Morello and The Edge, my respect for U2 and The Edge is boundless, but is a better guitarist than Mark Knopfler? No he isn't, any "Top 100" list with Knopfler not in the top 10 is a axe job.... IMHO.

i still stay with my view on any guitar hero-like game... Its as appealing as a karaoke bar filled with drunken germans....

TSED:

Gay jokes aren't all that funny. The odd one here or there's fine, but a whole review with the theme... it just isn't funny. Been done before and way better. Sorry.

Agreed. The jokes would seem to be making fun of homophobia. But like racism and sexism, ridiculing homophobes usually isn't funny (at least to me) because they're sad and pathetic.

I'm not saying that I want Yahtzee to start being Politcally Correct - anything but! That's one of the things that makes his stuff great, that he'll go places other people are afraid to, and be smart and funny about it. My point is just that teh gay jokes weren't funny to me.

Beanish:

TSED:

Gay jokes aren't all that funny. The odd one here or there's fine, but a whole review with the theme... it just isn't funny. Been done before and way better. Sorry.

Agreed. The jokes would seem to be making fun of homophobia. But like racism and sexism, ridiculing homophobes usually isn't funny (at least to me) because they're sad and pathetic.

I'm not saying that I want Yahtzee to start being Politcally Correct - anything but! That's one of the things that makes his stuff great, that he'll go places other people are afraid to, and be smart and funny about it. My point is just that teh gay jokes weren't funny to me.

Yes, you put it much more eloquently than I did.

I wasn't planning on buying Guitar Hero III in the first place, mostly because I already have Guitar Hero II for the Xbox 360, as well as the original Guitar Hero on my PS2, and partly because their are so many other good games out their for my consoles which don't require you to chuck out 100-ish dollers to make you play them.

lordshitzu:

Evilducks:
You can stop begging for Blue Oyster Cult or other groups from that decade, unless you like covers (GH has had a BOC song or two already). Master tracks recorded in ways useful for the purpose of these games don't exist so they will all have to be re-recorded. The reason Rock Band only has contemporary songs is because they wanted all master tracks. GH still incorporates older music, but again they're covers, and people whine incessantly about it.

Interesting theory, given that Rock Band has a master track of Don't Fear the Reaper.

True, they have the master track for that song...

However if you look at the list of their available tracks:

http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/830/830709p1.html

You can see that the older the songs are there is a much higher chance of the song being a cover. Some studios didn't use good equipment back in the day, some studios have actually lost master tracks since then (I don't know how they managed this) etc. Basically both games have master tracks if they are available for the song, they only do covers now in desperation.

Lord Leinad:
I wasn't planning on buying Guitar Hero III in the first place, mostly because I already have Guitar Hero II for the Xbox 360, as well as the original Guitar Hero on my PS2, and partly because their are so many other good games out their for my consoles which don't require you to chuck out 100-ish dollers to make you play them.

You can buy it without the guitar since you already have GH2 (and I assume a guitar for it).

JoeCooL:

No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays

I'm sorry (well, not really), but that has got to be the worst such list ever produced. Kurt Cobain and Jack White among the top 20 _guitarists_ of all time?! Laughable. Whether you like those two or not, you can't argue that their biggest strength is as guitar players.

TSED:

Beanish:

TSED:

Gay jokes aren't all that funny. The odd one here or there's fine, but a whole review with the theme... it just isn't funny. Been done before and way better. Sorry.

Agreed. The jokes would seem to be making fun of homophobia. But like racism and sexism, ridiculing homophobes usually isn't funny (at least to me) because they're sad and pathetic.

I'm not saying that I want Yahtzee to start being Politcally Correct - anything but! That's one of the things that makes his stuff great, that he'll go places other people are afraid to, and be smart and funny about it. My point is just that teh gay jokes weren't funny to me.

Yes, you put it much more eloquently than I did.

I thought they were funny. You didn't. It's all good.

But I think that as soon as you use the phrase 'teh gay' to describe homosexuals or gay people-that's a fail.
So see-we both have circumstances where we don't see the humor in things.
/smiles

figure09:

rhizic:
am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks? i mean come on, its on a super powerful computer and you get what a couple of dozen songs? all but four suck, and its completely repetative game play. could they not just bump it up? anyways amazing review [but isnt it always] the blue screen bit at the end was well good.

no, your not. learn real fucking guitar, you priks.

having said that, i guessguitar hero is as good as it gets as far as party games go. as already said in review, at least it has some decent music in it.

I'm going to reiterate this for you. Guitar Hero is about 1/1000 as complex as learning guitar. It's a game. If they want to learn guitar they'd have done that.

I hope they pay you a lot of money. You are fucking funny.

JoeCooL:

Brodel2:
@am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks?

No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays

The stupidest thing I saw was Slash not being included on this list ESPECIALLY when KIM THAYIL ex Soundgarden guitarist was really just a tool that Chris Cornell was using in his band and he's at the bottom of the list. What a joke.. so yes the guys and girls at Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays. I can't believe this list even exists and continues to exist after initial conception. Do you play guitar? Do you know Guns 'n Roses? Have you ever listened to Appetite for Destruction? Tom Morello doesn't even come close to what Slash has achieved as a guitarist or even the kind of clout he brings as a guitarist. Tom Morello is very cool, but I don't want to be a part of the world that ranks him above Slash... that's a joke... almost a travesty to see. You should be ashamed of that list

The Rogue Wolf:

Jeigan:

Corbineau:

Jeigan:
Sorry, Corbineau I don't really have the time to read through five pages of messages. And that wasn't meant to rude, it's just the truth. It's quite nice to know, though :D

It's all good. :D We should start a band.

Heh, what would we call ourselves? Shadows of a Gentleman Thief?

Actually, I think that would be an excellent name for a rock band. Then again, it's hard to do worse than "The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus". :P

'Yahtzee You Charismatic Stallion' might also be too loaded for a band name, but then again, maybe not.

soladrin:
i still stay with my view on any guitar hero-like game... Its as appealing as a karaoke bar filled with drunken germans....

And I still stay with my previous response-- a karaoke bar full of drunken Germans can be a really bloody good time.

bride_of_lister:
You keep telling yourself that Yahtzee... but you did make me stay up another hour because I knew that the new Zero Punctuation would be out. Feel free to gloat over your ability to keep a girl awake all night.

.... I think I love you.

Great review, kept me laughing the whole time. I don't own a guitar hero game, but I've played GH2 a good bit. I'm thinking of buying one for my 360, and because of this review, I might just save some money and get GH2 instead of GH3. And nice choice on Cliffs of Dover.

JoeCooL:

Brodel2:
@am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks?

No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays

Referencing that list is just fucking moronic. That's gotta be the worst list of anything musical ever compiled. First off, Slash, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, and Peter Frampton weren't even on the list. Eddie Van Halen was number 70. S-E-V-E-N-T-Y. Also, Mark Knopfler and Brian May deserve higher spots. And Kurt Cobain and Jack White didn't deserve to be as high as they were. I could keep on going, but I'll just stop here. That list is a godawful piece of shit.

Anyway, as for Todd Morello, yea, he's a good guitarist, but couldn't they get anyone better? I think both Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave (he was guitarist for that group,too) are good bands, but what the hell? I mean, compared to Slash, he's just not a legend of rock.

Fuck! I never thought Yahtzee would spout a review that I could find fault with, but QUIT CRYING ABOUT THE FUCKING DIFFICULTY for fucks sake. It's only 5 buttons, and yes, its a nerfed down 'fisher-price' guitar that makes me feel like i need to start overcompensating... but my point is, I play real guitar, as well as hero guitar, and it comes with the equivalent of 144 buttons. Nailing a song for real is much more rewarding, and earns you FAR more respect with your friends, and more importantly, it attracts MUCH MUCH more pussy. Another thing... Tom Morello truly is a legend of rock. I've seen him use a guitar in ways that only Jimi Hendrix could imagine. Finally, if you want more songs, heres how to get them on PC. Go out and get Guitar Hero for PC, or get an adapter to turn an XBOX Mk1 cord into USB, then go download FretsOnFire from Sourceforge.net (its a home dev'd Guitar Hero for PC, and fully moddable), then go to www.fretsonfire.net. There you will find links and instructions on how to get THOUSANDS of songs to tear up on your PC with your GH controller. They even have global high scoring for the truly competitive.

Dreadp00l:
Fuck! I never thought Yahtzee would spout a review that I could find fault with, but QUIT CRYING ABOUT THE FUCKING DIFFICULTY for fucks sake. It's only 5 buttons, and yes, its a nerfed down 'fisher-price' guitar that makes me feel like i need to start overcompensating... but my point is.....

See, we don't care that you can play real guitar.

It's a game. As such, GH should be evaluated on those merits, NOT on whether or not it accurately simulates, or is equivalently difficult to, playing an actual guitar.

And GH3 is harder, less rewarding, and not as well put together-especially on the later levels-as its predecessors. This is a legitimate critique, regardless of the amount of pussy you think you get.

the_carrot:

figure09:

rhizic:
am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks? i mean come on, its on a super powerful computer and you get what a couple of dozen songs? all but four suck, and its completely repetative game play. could they not just bump it up? anyways amazing review [but isnt it always] the blue screen bit at the end was well good.

no, your not. learn real fucking guitar, you priks.

having said that, i guessguitar hero is as good as it gets as far as party games go. as already said in review, at least it has some decent music in it.

I'm going to reiterate this for you. Guitar Hero is about 1/1000 as complex as learning guitar. It's a game. If they want to learn guitar they'd have done that.

ok, maybe its got to do witht the fact that ive only ever played guitarhero for 5mins and failed at it, which left me really insulted. looking back on that it was a stupid comment.

guitar hero still sucks

Dreadp00l:
Fuck! I never thought Yahtzee would spout a review that I could find fault with, but QUIT CRYING ABOUT THE FUCKING DIFFICULTY for fucks sake. It's only 5 buttons, and yes, its a nerfed down 'fisher-price' guitar that makes me feel like i need to start overcompensating... but my point is, I play real guitar, as well as hero guitar, and it comes with the equivalent of 144 buttons. Nailing a song for real is much more rewarding, and earns you FAR more respect with your friends, and more importantly, it attracts MUCH MUCH more pussy. Another thing... Tom Morello truly is a legend of rock. I've seen him use a guitar in ways that only Jimi Hendrix could imagine. Finally, if you want more songs, heres how to get them on PC. Go out and get Guitar Hero for PC, or get an adapter to turn an XBOX Mk1 cord into USB, then go download FretsOnFire from Sourceforge.net (its a home dev'd Guitar Hero for PC, and fully moddable), then go to www.fretsonfire.net. There you will find links and instructions on how to get THOUSANDS of songs to tear up on your PC with your GH controller. They even have global high scoring for the truly competitive.

funny, all the people that say they get "loads of pussy" ussauly turn out being 18year old virgins. oh, and you now, i dont think anyone wants to play guitar hero on there pc. either they just play it on there 360, or they just dont. i mean, whats the bloody point?

I think the complaint about the difficulty is not so much the straight difficulty, but how the game has left its original philosophy for stupider pastures. The original Guitar Hero had a philosophy of "wouldn't it be fun to have the player recreate famous pieces of music in a challenging way" while the latest Guitar Hero seemed as if each chart with written with the designer speaking aloud to himself: "Hmmm, I wonder how I can flummox the player and possibly cause him to splinter his own fingerbones in the excitement of attempting this."

There's parts in Guitar Hero III that the original guitarist just plain never played with his own hands. Quite often the GHIII parts were done half by machine-other-than-a-guitar or two human beings on guitars. Personally, I like 3-note chords since it seems to jive rather nicely with my cursory look at a "Learn to Play Guitar" book, but some chord transitions, note series seem to be selected not because they mimic the actual music but because it's hard to get your hand to do that. GH1 was a music game that happened to be hard, GH3 was a hard game that happened to contain music. Also, GH has a HO/PO flaw wherein the string stops vibrating if you miss a single note unlike the physical instrument. GHII hits on this flaw more than the other games in the series.

Slash is probably a better iconic figure as a "Legend", but slightly out of my generation. Tom Morello, respect the man, think he's an awesome player... but he's so down to earth and unassuming that it's weird to make him up to be some mexican wrestler. Slash is practically a cartoon character.

I do like the tutorials in Guitar Hero, they are always fun and entertaining, unlike the Rock Band's tutorials which are like getting harpsichord lessons from your friend's not-hot mom.

The real vs guitar hero guitar thing... I dunno, I've never seen a GH player that had delusions of grandeur that they were somehow equal or better than someone that plays a real guitar. Ever. The "real guitar defenders" seems excessively defensive about some threat that doesn't actually exist. I fly real planes and if I see someone playing a flight sim, I don't run over and kick their sand castle. I enjoy that they have expressed some appreciation for the activity. Lastly, most of the time it's not worth the time and effort to debate with such people as usually (and our last zealot was a fine example) they have such little spelling and grammatical ability as it's rather obvious which end of the "learned" stick they hold onto.

oh god can't stop laughing,he lovingly dissed GH3...what fun LOL

I enjoy Guitar Hero, and I am pretty good at it, but I agree about the difficulty curve and WHY IS THERE NO CLIVE WINSTON OR PANDORA?! On a side note, my Rock Band character is going to be named Gareth Gobblecoque.

Well, visiting family this holiday, I was hectored into playing Guitar Hero III. As expected, I hated it and fell into passive-aggressive methods before I was a third of the way through the first song and scored absolute 0 on the second.

That said, I could have easily loved this game if it had come out twenty-five years ago. While it looks like a simple color-matching game, how it really plays is as a memory game. You don't excel at this game by watching the screen and developing hand-eye co-ordination reflexes. Rather, you play the game over and over and through trial and error, learn the patterns for each song until you can five star ever damned one on expert without even looking at the screen.

The odd thing about this is that it's not a bad skill to develop for playing a real guitar, you just would have to substitute the colorful buttons with actual chords, infinitely more complex, but it's still a matter of memorizing the patterns without having any reference save your own sense of timing, and maybe the drums and base giving you a point of reference. This theory is confirmed by various You Tube videos of kids doing exactly that. I was surprised to find this game could conceivably be a useful exercise for the budding young guitarist, but there you go.

But, like I had said, this game has come out too late for me. When I was twelve, I would have been all over this thing, possibly decking my room and wardrobe out in Guitar Hero merchandise, eating Guitar Hero cereal with little marshmallow music notes for breakfast, etc, etc. But I'm older now, and while I'm no less a nerd, I take a great deal less pleasure in being one. More to the point, my reflexes are completely shot, so I suck air like a Dust Buster right out of the gate. This means an uphill battle to do well at this game requiring hours and hours or practice, which would dig into my porn-surfing time, so this will not be happening. Also, I'm also not buying the whole rock star fantasy thing, anymore. I'm thirty six. Even if I did turn out to be marvelously gifted the first time I picked up a real guitar, to become a rock star at this point would require me to suck a lot of dick. This is also not going to happen, because they're music industry guys. Who knows where their tweeter has been? Frankly the very notion gives me the ickies.

Thank you Yahtzee, yet again your the only one who is manly enough to have the balls to say a game sucks. Thank you and keep it up.

I finally got the chance to play my cousin's copy of this, and I have a few things to say:

1.) I think the term "Legends of Rock" comes from their playlist, which seems to have more in the way of classic songs than some of the others. Not to mention that every characters aim is to become a Legend in and of themselves...what better way than out-rocking the Devil to do it?

2.) I'm okay with J-pop, but Midori has NO place in that game. At all.

3.) Why did they get rid of Pandora?? She's one of the originals! Bastards... (At least they kept Casey. I like her better.)

4.) The movement IS really jerky in the background. No, I haven't memorized the songs after ONE attempt. I just have good peripheral vision.

5.) Some of the songs are, indeed, stupid hard, even on the lower levels. I was helping my cousin beat Helicopter, and the rhythm guitar was annoyingly difficult, even though I was only playing Medium.

Well, that's about it out of me. Keep up the good work!

Mad Rabbit in a Labcoat:

4.) The movement IS really jerky in the background. No, I haven't memorized the songs after ONE attempt. I just have good peripheral vision.

There's no need to memorize the songs... you just have to know where your fingers are at the moment so that you can move it to the right button in time. Knowing the song from before helps a lot, because you actually know before hand the timing of the chords.

As for the difficulty, even if you do know what's coming, some songs are just impossible to beat, at least for me. In the last batch of songs in the HARD difficulty Raining Blood and One are way too hard. I think that's what he meant with the brick wall thing... I also got stuck with songs that required me to be super fast in the EXPERT difficulty like Holiday In Cambodia.

Dante G:

Mad Rabbit in a Labcoat:

4.) The movement IS really jerky in the background. No, I haven't memorized the songs after ONE attempt. I just have good peripheral vision.

There's no need to memorize the songs... you just have to know where your fingers are at the moment so that you can move it to the right button in time. Knowing the song from before helps a lot, because you actually know before hand the timing of the chords.

I understand that. I was just making the point that I'm not a freak; I just pick up on these things as I play. :)

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