Review: Contra 4 (Nintendo DS)

Let's get the obvious out of the way: Contra 4 is a very tough game. If you have kids, or know any, don't let them play this game. Not because of any violent content, but because of its difficulty; it will make them cry.

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Okay. Hard like Ultimate Ghost 'n Goblins on the PSP? That one was pretty tough. Anything under that game is a ballad in the park.

Arbre:
Okay. Hard like Ultimate Ghost 'n Goblins on the PSP? That one was pretty tough. Anything under that game is a ballad in the park.

This is probably the hardest game ever.

My lifes last an average of 14.5 seconds in hard, 18.7 in medium and 25.2 in easy.

It is ass-poundingly hard. There are so many "Well shit. How the fuck was I honestly supposed to survive that" moments. Playing slower only heightens the difficulty, at times; the enemies move so fast that you've got to stay on your toes at all times.
I understand why people can like that, it just wasn't really for me.

Beating Contra 3 on Hard is still the single greatest thing I've ever accomplished with a game.

This kind of game is about the bragging rights you get from being so damn good at it, and yes, it is insanely fun to go back, flip on Hard mode, and run through the stages like you're Rambo on crack.

Just be prepared to die on a continual basis for months at a time, because you cannot beat this game the first time you play it.

Personally, I thank Contra 4 for reintroducing me to the concept of the Game Over screen, something I haven't seen in years.

But then it blew up my house.

HalfShadow:
Contra games basically exist to show you that yes, you do in fact suck at games, no matter what you thought before and, when it's finished raping you with something sharp, will get your diaper and put you in your crib.

Then it will blow up your house.

Where's the fun in that? I would agree with anyone who says that total cakewalk games aren't often much fun, but there's something to be said for a reasonable challenge that doesn't piss you off so much that you want to throw your DS into the path of an armoured tank, isn't there?

ShmenonPie:

HalfShadow:
Contra games basically exist to show you that yes, you do in fact suck at games, no matter what you thought before and, when it's finished raping you with something sharp, will get your diaper and put you in your crib.

Then it will blow up your house.

Where's the fun in that? I would agree with anyone who says that total cakewalk games aren't often much fun, but there's something to be said for a reasonable challenge that doesn't piss you off so much that you want to throw your DS into the path of an armoured tank, isn't there?

It's just the satisfaction of memorization, and the "twitch" element. It's an accomplishment that not many can claim, and you gotta be really dedicated. The Contra series is known for just cutting out the fluff and getting straight to murdering you in broad daylight. Even if the game isn't fun, you gotta resent it for that, it's practically calling you a pussy from inside its plastic case, so you kick its ass out of self respect, just don't have an audience around while you work up to it.

Think of it as a game of Simon that starts you out on stage 4518, and is attached to the underbelly of an airborne MIG fighter engaged in a dogfight. This is not an exaggeration.