Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

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Oh yeah, and I had to look it up, not being a Proust scholar: la recherche du temps perdu, or "In Search of Lost Time"/"Remembrance of Things Past," is perhaps the largest single modern storytelling device with some 2,000 characters; Proust died before he could finish the edits on the final three volumes (there are 7 total) and there was apparently an improved English translation some years back so people who can't be bothered to learn French can still claim to have read it and sound smart.

So there.

Evilducks:
Seems like he skipped over some of the more glaring issues that I've seen in the game. The texture popping is increasingly annoying, the elevators are arduous and skipping the side quests meant we missed out on the fact that the same 4 buildings make up every structure in the fucking galaxy. Fortunately they decorate with different sets of giant boxes from time to time.

I really like mass effect but you have definitely hit the nail on the head with this particular paragraph.

I think the sidequests are particularly tedious in this game for the reasons above and also because there is very little character interaction during them. However I enjoyed the main quests quite a bit.

The dialogue REALLY, REALLY needs to be skippable. I have subtitles on and it takes me maybe 1/3 of the time allocated to read the things. I read dialogs fast in most games so when I can't skip to the next one it really gets on my nerves.

Lanowar if you use Firefox with Adblock Plus you don't get the flash adverts. Firefox ftw, as usual.

Callipygian superman!

No one on the tubes can hold a candle to Yahtzee when it comes to pure unadulterated wit.

Oh, what's this, I got here before the 100 post mark?

Cool.

Loved the Bruce Cambell bit at the end, as anyone who's so much as tried to poke around your site will find so very, very funny.

wowowowow.

i just went and had a look at ctrl+alt+delete, and all i can say it is one of the most retarted comics ever

Is it really wrong for me to like JRPGs? Like Kingdom Hearts, Super Mario RPG, Final Fantasy 2,591 Part Deux?

bean:
I wonder if it is possible to make an RPG that Yahtzee could like. Play as a socially challenged misanthrope. Use special abilities to channel your rage into non-violent activities in order to avoid behavior that would get you thrown in prison. Obtain and equip over 300 witty remarks and devastating comebacks. Learn to summon your disgust, and ultimately choose not to save the world because, you know. . . screw 'em.

They've done that already. It's called Second Life.

You seemed awfully bored in this review.

Lim-Dul:

don't be cruel about ctrl+alt+del, it is the best webcomic ever

Bu-ha-ha.

http://badwebcomics.blogspot.com/2007/06/ctrlaltdel.html

Sadly, I read reviews on GameFAQS, and McG's reviews, and that is still the most unprofessional review I have ever read.

I was really looking forward to Yahtzee bitching about the elevators :(

Some PC reviews would be welcome now mate! Great review again, though. I enjoy RPG's (like to see you do "The Witcher") but I take this for the wildly funny entertainment it is.

The Bruce Campbell thing bothered me too. And Bean, that sounds like a game I would enjoy :)

a reassuring cuddle lol

I DID enjoy the game, but having a game of this depth means there is an even greater amount of things for the developers to fuck up - which with so much to create they inevitably do.

You didn't miss much with the sidequests though Yahtzee. Basically they follow this pattern: 1. Go to planet on the other side of the galaxy to where you currently are
2. Land buggy
3. Struggle to drive it
4. Finally find the blip on the map that means the mission
5. Shoot people/Geth/people-Geth/other things in usually the same reused bunker
6. Collect your reward from someone on the Citadel who is at one of the points furthest away from the spaceport

I am fairly sure its pronounced caly-fy-gee-an and I would be worried if guys say that too you.

Lol nice review.

I didn't know that bruce campbell bit thingy. But this is a good way to show to cater to the fans huh?

anyway, this one is very funny, especially the less conversationg song of elvis. Great job.

You can make love to Ashley Williams...?! Didn't Bruce write a book called 'Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way?' Maybe its a guide to bedding his Mass Effect persona :D

Annonchinil:
He shows Planescape Torment and the complains about dialogue? Although PS;T did have the best dialogue of any game.

Hard to believe Mass Effect comes to us from the same company that brought us Baldur's Gate and (indirectly) all of those other great Infinity engine games like Torment. Sigh...

Well Yahtzee may have named him Titty Shepard, but i named my dude Dick Shepard. Pretty funny meaning if you think about it.

Yahtzee you beautiful bastard. This is spot on. I hated this game with all my heart, no matter how much I wanted to love it, despite loving RPGs (including most previous BioWare games). I thought I was the only one.

my friends have told me this game really sucks, this just furthurs my conviction. Plus i HATES X 3 KOTOR. Am I doomed to hate mass effect even though i've actually been looking forward to it?

Annonchinil:
He shows Planescape Torment and the complains about dialogue? Although PS;T did have the best dialogue of any game.

probably because it was hilarious whereas ME dialogue is about as funny as those Christmas cracker jokes.

When Yahtzee said "And less skinny underdressed girls claiming to be men", he showed three JRPG characters, to the very right Tidus from FF10, anyne know who the other two girl-guys were?
In regards of dialogue, a lot of dialouge is bad. If the dialogue is good, it can make up for it to a certain degree, but the ebst dialogues squeeze a lot of meaning and fun into very little words, my fav (though not a rpg) in this regard is "Sacrifice".

Hehehehe!

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Hated KOTOR, but everyone was ejaculating over their controllers for this game and telling me to join in the circle jerk and get it. I figure with this review, and my disdain for the long drawn out Bioware RPG games that accomplishes nothing ,I can steer clear of it.

so thank you charismatic stallion for helping me avoid another shitty game.

The elvis song is PERFECT, says it all!

Took ya 6 hours to figure out weapon mods? Dang Yahtzee...sorry man...guess these games really aren't your forte. Mass Effect was easily game of the year, the dialogue is interesting, because the characters are interesting and I can makes the story and relationships progress however I want, which is ecpecially fun with the Krogan.

Sidequests really are the meat and potatoes, one mission has you going to Earth's moon and fighting floating death droids. On that note, combat for me is smooth as silk and tactics are paramount, mixing special abilities with weapons specialties (picked infiltrator job class) makes the game fun and thought provoking.

Ashley Williams...thought I recognized that name from somewhere.

Seriously though...6 hours?! Go to your equipped weapon and hit 'X'...seriously.

thestor:
When Yahtzee said "And less skinny underdressed girls claiming to be men", he showed three JRPG characters, to the very right Tidus from FF10, anyne know who the other two girl-guys were?
In regards of dialogue, a lot of dialouge is bad. If the dialogue is good, it can make up for it to a certain degree, but the ebst dialogues squeeze a lot of meaning and fun into very little words, my fav (though not a rpg) in this regard is "Sacrifice".

The other one is the b!tch boy from FFXII, Vaan...or some crap...the other is...eesh...I recognize him...I wanna say he's from a Castlevania game, but I dunno.

allways a pleasure to get new reviews every wensday, and this is one of my favorite web-thingies, so is Ctrl Alt Del. og cad-comic. wich I would ad doesnt have too much writing or story, because its all relevant...

sorry, I wouldnt have complained if it was any other thing.

Lol, I love learning new words. Callipygian... hehe.

figure09:
wowowowow.

i just went and had a look at ctrl+alt+delete, and all i can say it is one of the most retarted comics ever

FUCK OFF!!! that webcomic is the best on the web :D

I was hoping to have to avoid this.... But it seems it is inevitable.
First of all. Sure Mass Effect has it's faults and it can be better in so many areas.
However having played alot of the rpg's out there I have to say that this is one of the better ones (And don't even get me started on the JRPG's. I mean come on guys get a f**** room).

Anyways moving on, I agree there were some things that annoyed me. Such as every damn bunker looking exactly the same (except for the arranging of the boxes mind you). The texture updates could have been alot better, but for all it's faults I still can't hate this game.
Personally I think the story in this game beats every other RPG game I've ever played and some of the dialogs were pretty damn hilarious (try Vampire:TMB and play as malkavian for funny dialogs).

So don't take what other people say at face value and try the game yourself before you decide if you hate it. But if you want to be an ass and not form your own damn oppinion then go ahead and listen to these nice people here who probably hasn't even seen the outside of their parents basement.

Great review, wow.
And jesus.. space man? I haven't heard that one for ages, haha.

SanitysRequiem:

thestor:
When Yahtzee said "And less skinny underdressed girls claiming to be men", he showed three JRPG characters, to the very right Tidus from FF10, anyne know who the other two girl-guys were?
In regards of dialogue, a lot of dialouge is bad. If the dialogue is good, it can make up for it to a certain degree, but the ebst dialogues squeeze a lot of meaning and fun into very little words, my fav (though not a rpg) in this regard is "Sacrifice".

The other one is the b!tch boy from FFXII, Vaan...or some crap...the other is...eesh...I recognize him...I wanna say he's from a Castlevania game, but I dunno.

I think the third girl/bloke is the villain from Final Fantasy 9 who's name just left me. His name began with 'K', I think. I could be wrong though, I wasn't paying too much attention to that particular FF

I wonder what he thought about Fallout.

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