Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

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Look, i know all of you minions love this guy, and yeh ihe is pretty funny, butr WTF is the point of sending pointless messages that basically follow "i love you so effing much Yahtzee". Do you really think he give half a flying s$#t???

Look, i know all of you minions love this guy, and yeh ihe is pretty funny, butr WTF is the point of sending pointless messages that basically follow "i love you so effing much Yahtzee". Do you really think he give half a flying s$#t???

maybe that's what makes the comment section worth reading?

anyway, i wanted to talk about some people criticising him for not reviewing properly. They might have forgotten that these reviews are merely for entertainment, not real reviewing.

And for those that think yahtzee hates CAD, he critized it only for it's wall of text. He didn't say he hates CAD, just that wall of texts aren't a nice read.

Neimo:

The questions these guys want to ask the designer are "WHY?!? Why did you make the hero look like a girl? What purpose does that serve in the game? What purpose does that serve the hero? How does the personality of the hero correspond to him looking like a girl?"

Sqeeeing fangirls.

-> hickwarrior, hi :)
"And for those that think yahtzee hates CAD, he critized it only for it's wall of text. He didn't say he hates CAD, just that wall of texts aren't a nice read."

Relative. Walls of text shouldn't be a problem if the walls of text are well-written and interesting. Ever read the classic comic series "Blake and Mortimer" by Edgar P. Jacobs? It features walls of texts which make those of CAD look brief and concise, yet once you start reading them, you get sucked into the story and wouldn't want it any other way. Same goes for Planescape: Torment, where examining objects sometimes turns into a story of its own.

It's quite hard to keep the coffee in my mouth as I am watching your reviews.

Amahzing yet again, Yahtzee.

i enjoyed this one, but only cos of the "Yahtzeeisms" not really cos of the review itself. I knew he wasn't going to like it, and as such was prepared for the roasting it got. For the record i'm not an rpg fan boy, i liked kotor but thats running around lamping people with a glowstick gets me hard, point is i don't want to hear about how shit they are, cos we all know, and for those who like em, they're just gonna be pissed off at it. I think all the reviews are accurate and hilarious, but leave the rpg's alone, the more people whine about em, the more the "rebels" wanna tug themselves off over one...

I honestly don't understand his complaints about the combat system. Sure, there are some things to be complained about, that the combat system is a little foreign and clunky at first with NO explanation other than a few quick hardly readable blurbs shot out in the middle of a fight you're already losing...but I just told my guys to form up on me and they never got in my way. In fact, idiots who can't tell the difference between enemies (with big red targetting triangles on them) and their allies (whom they dick around with for 25) seem like the sort of people Yahtzee would be making fun OF, not joining ranks WITH.

And for the record, Mass Effect does have a good story :P. A pinch of Star Wars, a dash of Battlestar Galactica themes (you're thinking Geth? Just wait until later), and a bucketful of a living, breathing Universe where humans aren't the bastions of peace and leadership for no apparent reason like in Star Trek, and you've got Mass Effect (which, consequently, is an actually very well explored fictional concept of affecting the Mass of Space-Time with the newly discovered element Zero, which will no doubt be explored further in relation to the developement and evolution of The Reapers in later games :O).

Sincere praise, it's always good to hear the cynical views of Yahtzee ripping into a game underneath all the glory words every other reviewer and their cat throw up. Moderately rushed, great job again, as always, and thank you for telling me about Psychonauts.

Amused, I loved these aliens.

Although I am very fond of CAD, that was a really funny review. "Mass Erect" was worth a laugh.

Also I found something interesting-This guy here (www.freewebs.com/perloothebold) has apparently decided that he's going to review reviewers. Yahtzee is the first one he's done.

Yet he still continues to appeal in humorous content making me laugh. Come back again Croshaw its a 10 out of 10 experience.

Green Team Australia

I wonder if there will be a review next week. It is the day after Christmas, after all.

Then again, Mr. Croshaw doesn't strike me as the "festive" type...

I believe that a compilation of the songs bookending Zero Punctuation would make for a seriously kick ass party mix.

As long as you take out Aerosmith and Guns & Roses. Otherwise that'd be one party I'd have to crash.

Excellent vid, Yahtzee, late though this comes.

Though you'll pardon me that I take this review with a couple of salt licks, since I happen to be one of those people that love RPGs and KotOR in particular and should probably take the time to play through Mass Effect myself sometime.

Well to start with... I can't exactly talk out of an objective standpoint because I didn't play the game and probably won't do it till it comes out for the PC in 1-3 years but from what I've seen in the Trailers and Gameplay Videos it might just be too much of an "ACTION"RPG for me to enjoy. Baldur's Gate 1+2 is my favorite game of all time and stuff like Jade Empire and KOTOR etc. come somewhere right after it that tell a story and do it great and from what I've seen from Mass Effect they went from a few great unique locations to a lot cloned nearly identical ones and from tactical battles where you'd have to use your brains and the skills etc. to Shooter-esque elements.

But maybe he shouldn't Review RPG's anymore if he doesn't like them and is "forced" to play them, because seriously it makes him look a bit silly. RPG's consist of a lot of Text, Background story and also not useful Information that you CAN read but don't have to, you had Item Descriptions and the same in all Infinity Engine Games, Fallout + Fallout 2 and a lot of those RPG's.
It helps the consistency and it adds to the story and the immersivity of it as opposed to "You are a Supersoldier and have to shoot those guys wearing White Helmets because you've been ordered to..."

Complaining about an RPG having too much text (which he said can even be skipped or not read at all) is like picking up a book and then complaining to everyone that it has too much text, it makes you look like a retarded naked mole and you can't exactly say you "didn't expect" it.

VMerken:

Relative. Walls of text shouldn't be a problem if the walls of text are well-written and interesting. Ever read the classic comic series "Blake and Mortimer" by Edgar P. Jacobs? It features walls of texts which make those of CAD look brief and concise, yet once you start reading them, you get sucked into the story and wouldn't want it any other way. Same goes for Planescape: Torment, where examining objects sometimes turns into a story of its own.

I see, but where do you read webcomics? usually on the web, but i don't think that point of yahtzee is valid, mainly because of the voice thingies. But i haven't played it. And i do know you can print those comics, but it's still the thing that you read those on the web.

I think my points aren't valid, but the point in my post was that yahtzee didn't state that he disliked CAD, just that he doesn't like walls of text that are dragging on and on... Wait that wasn't my point really, Maybe it just got something to do with webcomics then. But now i think about it, this point makes more sense.

hay i even registered on this website because of zero punctuation...

For the record, I played through Mass Effect, did almost every single side-quest, and mostly rather liked the game.

However, I definitely empathize with Yahtzee's complaints. The game does tend to be rather wordy, and it carries this strange compulsion to fully explore and listen to every journal entry and dialogue tree even though you don't really care, just in case you missed something. The combat is weak, in part due to the reasons mentioned. The Mako really does handle terribly, though this is partially due to the design of the non-plot-related planets, with their giant jaggy cliffs, pits, and ditches.

Anyway, awesome review. One of the better ones.

Also, I knew there was something that bugged me about Ashley's name. I'm suddenly really glad I went with the blue alien chick.

I don't think Yahtzee understands equipment systems in RPGs, then again RPG's have not had great equipment systems in 8ish years.

Synchro593:
Sincere praise, it's always good to hear the cynical views of Yahtzee ripping into a game underneath all the glory words every other reviewer and their cat throw up. Moderately rushed, great job again, as always, and thank you for telling me about Psychonauts.

Amused, I loved these aliens.

Delighted response, the Elcor are by far my favorite species in the game.

1) I think Bruce Campbell is definitely sexier than his Mass Effect counterpart. I wish there was a more blatant homage with which to enjoy the (allegedly since I haven't gotten that far) missing man on man option.

2) Ruggedly handsome may be true, but I think it's admireable that your character and the other human military folks aren't the huge over-muscled hulks ala Gears of War. Not that I mind it, it just seems horribly inaccurate.

3) I found the text to be enjoyable. The sheer volume of incoming information was daunting, visual, audio, etc, but it was still enjoyable. I say this as a man who usually can't sit focused on a single game at once and in the case of Mass Effect I did. I mean, I usually have on a few messengers and chat rooms to keep me occupied. I am constantly pulling up other stuff on the internet. And strangely Mass Effect was strangely engrossing.

4)I like CAD. It has stories.

5) Down with patriarchy and the criticism of "feminine" men. *cough*

Great review, but it needed less Thom Yorke hate and more Thom Yorke love.

can u make one about the witcher please?

Having gone through Mass Effect a second time, something I rarely do, I've got the tendency to disagree with this review even further. It's touch-and-go, half-arsed, encourages dumbing down of videogames, does wordier games like PST a great injustice and does crappier combat systems like KoTOR an even greater one. The only just complaint is the Mako.

The reason this bugs me so much is that Yahtzee is mostly right about which games are worth having. Doing this instant classic a disservice such as this will have awful implications on sequels and other such ambitious RPGs.

After having played all the major titles for PC and 360, Mass Effect is game of the year 2007 in my list and for excellent reasons. How disappointing of Yahtzee to bash an excellent title such as this, just for the sake of antagonizing the current market.

A person who creates fun adventure games, writes novels and satire, played Planescape: Torment (sic!) probably has sufficient insight into what makes dialog-driven game entertaining.

It may be the case that Yahtzee's standards are set a bit too high... And I'm afraid there's no cure for that.

Great review, funny as hell, but I still really like the game.

SpiderKnives:
Having gone through Mass Effect a second time, something I rarely do, I've got the tendency to disagree with this review even further. It's touch-and-go, half-arsed, encourages dumbing down of videogames, does wordier games like PST a great injustice and does crappier combat systems like KoTOR an even greater one. The only just complaint is the Mako.

The reason this bugs me so much is that Yahtzee is mostly right about which games are worth having. Doing this instant classic a disservice such as this will have awful implications on sequels and other such ambitious RPGs.

After having played all the major titles for PC and 360, Mass Effect is game of the year 2007 in my list and for excellent reasons. How disappointing of Yahtzee to bash an excellent title such as this, just for the sake of antagonizing the current market.

But you haven't noticed that he said it's an ignorant hate speech. Besides that, you try to do a review of an RPG game within a week, one you haven't played at all. That might also add to that equation.

I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.

Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.

ebannaw:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.

Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.

*Swoosh* Right over your head...

He's just using Satire to provide an enjoyable review based upon his opinion.

Stop getting burt-hurt because he says some bad things about your "Godlike" game.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the COD 4 review, It's won lot's of awards, including GOTY awards from IGN and Gamespy, so I can't imagine Yahtzee to rag on the game too much.

I'd dread it, but I'd still like to see him review Persona 3, if only because that's one of the few JRPGs I legitimately enjoy.

SomeBlackGuy:

ebannaw:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.

Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.

*Swoosh* Right over your head...

He's just using Satire to provide an enjoyable review based upon his opinion.

Stop getting burt-hurt because he says some bad things about your "Godlike" game.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the COD 4 review, It's won lot's of awards, including GOTY awards from IGN and Gamespy, so I can't imagine Yahtzee to rag on the game too much.

And i'm just using satire to prove how much of a dumbass you are.

Astonishingly you didn't mention the framerate drops nor did you mention the long texture loading times, easy targets for sure. Also by missing the side quests you managed to miss out on the part of the game that was truly monotonous i.e. driving over endlessly boring terrain to find a downed beacon that "surprise" has that type IV weapon mod you've been wanting.

ebannaw:

SomeBlackGuy:

ebannaw:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.

Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.

*Swoosh* Right over your head...

He's just using Satire to provide an enjoyable review based upon his opinion.

Stop getting burt-hurt because he says some bad things about your "Godlike" game.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the COD 4 review, It's won lot's of awards, including GOTY awards from IGN and Gamespy, so I can't imagine Yahtzee to rag on the game too much.

And i'm just using satire to prove how much of a dumbass you are.

Nice try, Boyo

jst to put it this way, i love RPGS, i dont get how masseffect is one though. and its no bloody fun, having 2 pause 2 open ur effing combat wheel thingy every 2 seconds.

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