Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

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Ebers:

What does that even mean?

It means that he seems to have missed the point.

Ebers:
I don't think he "missed" so much as didn't care to mention that you can change your character's hair style. And just how thorough can a roughly 5 minute review be on a game that can take upwards of 20 hours to complete (if you go all out with the side quests). Hell, there are conversations in Mass Effect that go on for longer than Yahtzee's review. I find it troubling how serious you're taking his review.

He mentioned it in Tabula Rasa, so how is that any different? And a review can be thorough enough to actually touch on the core of the game. He spat out the plot in about ten seconds and then spent the rest of the review moaning about dialogue and combat and RPGs. And I wouldn't make the mistake of taking Yatzhee's reviews seriously, but when he just dismisses a game with no apparent reasoning it's annoying.

Ebers:
Or it reveals that he does not have the time, or possibly the patience, to go through every single detail of such an epic game. You can't seriously expect him to play through every last side quest, read every single word in the codex, and basically play this game until it has spun itself into a smoldering husk inside his 360's disc drive just for a short video.

I never demanded a complete comb of the game, but for him to at least give it the time he gives to his other reviews. This review gives the impression he played it in a day, wrote about it in five minutes, and took the rest of the week off. If he can play through Assassin's Creed, a repetitive, soul-draining game, I think he can spend a few more hours searching Mass Effect.

Ebers:
He's played enough of it for this review though. Or are you going to demand that he unlocks every achievement before he does another review for the Xbox?

Again, you're putting words in my mouth. Perhaps actually bothering to try and get the to grips with it would be nice.

Val, perhaps bothering to listen to the ignorant hate speech part? He did say it is an ignorant hate speech. So why do you take it seriously then?

J-Val:
And a review can be thorough enough to actually touch on the core of the game. He spat out the plot in about ten seconds and then spent the rest of the review moaning about dialogue and combat and RPGs. And I wouldn't make the mistake of taking Yatzhee's reviews seriously, but when he just dismisses a game with no apparent reasoning it's annoying.

He did the plot, combat, driving, talking, character creation, inventoy system and gear customisation. If that's not touching the core of the game, I'm not sure what is. Yes, he may not have spend much time on any of it, but there's so much in this game that he couldn't have gone into detail on any of it without the review taking upwards of 10 minutes, even if he talked at his usual head-exploding speed.

He didn't dismiss the game, he just didn't like it as much as you. That much is obvious. And when he doesn't like a game, he'll start with the ignorant hate speech. That much is also obvious. Taking moments from his own experience of the game, then exaggerating them for comedy is what Yahtzee does. If you want a full-blown in depth review, go read Edge or something. Detail is not what Yahtzee does in his video reviews. That may not have worked for you in this particular case, but that's just too bad.

J-Val:
I never demanded a complete comb of the game, but for him to at least give it the time he gives to his other reviews.

He barely mentioned the multiplayer parts of Halo 3, yet he'd obviously played enough of the rest of the game to do a review. As far as Mass Effect goes, if he'd got the Paramour achievement, then he'd have experienced enough of the core elements of the game to comment on them. And he had, so he did.

He doesn't need to play the full games,
would u buy a game you hate and play it all the way through?
of course not,
he played it enough to write his review and thats all thats needed.
Sure, he might play some games longer than others,
but its most likely because its a better game, and he enjoys playing it, even if just a little.

Besides, how is it hurting you?
Does it really kill you that much to know he only played Mass Effect for a day?
If he even did play if for that long in total.

Also, I'm sure hes got other things to do with his week,
friends, family and ect. ect.

I personally found that the review was what i was thinking,
I couldn't sit through the entire game either,
but thats because i have ADD and need to do something more hands on,
like work on my car or wank,
cause I'm sure thats what came to mind, right?

J-Val:
He spat out the plot in about ten seconds

Would you send me a PM with the plot? I don't care how long it results to be, according to you.

It's very much like how the Mass Effect lovers are so adamant to make sure that you know how great the game is, there are also those of you who are so adamant about how Yahtzee's review of it was perfect and couldn't have been improved by much. Two extremes.

The game isnt perfect and I am sure some people would not enjoy playing it; however, Yahtzee's review was pretty rubbish in my opinion.

I've watched most of his reviews and none of them felt as empty as the one he's posted on Mass Effects. Fair enough he may not enjoy RPG games or this game in particular but if he is going to make a review on it, bother to go and do just a few side quests (to see that they are repetitive) and delve deeper into the game or just don't bother creating a review at all (could have saved himself a lot of trouble by not having to play the game at least).

I'm only just a girlfriend of a gamer looking for some tips on Mass Effects and came across this thread to find, in my opinion, J-Val making a pretty rational statement and the rest of you shooting him down with childish "Ohh so you want him to get EVERY achievement then huh yeah?? hmm?" so thought I'd like to say that what J-Val said wasnt as ridiculous as what the rest of you are making out.

I am a huge fan of Zero Punctuation reviews and I know and love some of the games he reviews and I've always found them amusing and truthful even if it is saying how crap some of the elements are. This did not ring true for the Mass Effect review.
Yahtzee influences a lot of people with his reviews and I don't believe that he gave the game the few bonuses it deserves as briefly mentioned by J-Val.
What he did include was funny punchlines about the surface of the game such as customisable characters, American accents and the crappy sex scene. He didn't mention things like the different solar systems and whether he thought they were any good, the often confusing multistorey buildings, your ally stating that the coast is clear when there is blatantly still enemies about, and the ones mentioned by EvilDuck on 1st page were all very true like the good/evil element wasn't even mentioned.

Your allies really do not get in your way that much considering the amount of time you battle with them and around different maps. As soon as they get in your line of fire they make sure to move and their health is not really affected by much.
As for getting confused who's enemy and who's not... if you can differentiate between red (enemy) and blue (your team), you shouldn't have a problem.
To have gotten these major points wrong, is a little troubling.

Everyone complains about the Mako truck that you have to drive around, but a few trips around a few planets, I could control that thing with my eyes closed because of the way that it generally stays going in the direction that you point it even though it's rocky, it doesn't matter if you did fall off the side of a mountain (which is actually quite fun trying to land it straight with the boosters), and it (nearly) always lands on its feet. It fails mainly because you were stupid enough to try to climb mountains too steep and slippery, which you learn not to. What I didn't like was that it was slow.

The dialog can seem long if you are tired, but you can skip through it as he says and often it is only long because you are asking for it. You tend to have the option to say goodbye fairly quickly.

Must say "mass erect" part was amusing. This might seem really sad but the fun part about getting the blue alien to ride my purple dildo wasn't getting to see her bare arse at the end of it but the accomplishment of getting her to want to stroke my visor helmet with my little dialog choices.

Anyhoo, seeing as we watched his review before playing, we were influenced and made our character named "Ghey Shephard" :)

Would anyone also send me a PM with the plot of Mass Effect? I'd be interested in reading that plot.

EDIT: Never mind. I think I got it from Wikipedia. The irony is this: What if you don't LIKE the story or the depth? If so, then ME isn't really good at all.

Just stop taking it so seriously people. It's not a personal assault on folks that enjoy the game. It's just a review of an RPG game, by somebody that doesn't like RPG games. Sueding won't be happenning here!

I love a good percentage of the games Yahtzee bashes. I find him to be outright wrong on many occasions (in addition to bending the perspective on even his own opinions) but that's not the point at all. It's comedic regardless, that is unless you take it personally, as an attack on everything you love.

In this particular case he even disclaims at the end that the items he disliked are things RPG fans love. That apparently wasn't enough I suppose (?)

R Man:

AngryCola:

R Man:
"jst to put it this way, i love RPGS, i dont get how masseffect is one though. and its no bloody fun, having 2 pause 2 open ur effing combat wheel thingy every 2 seconds."

well if thats true about the combat wheel then thats pretty shit."

Its not true. I hardly ever bothered using the combat wheel. There is not any reason to use it more than once a battle and even then even once isn't usually nessesary.

This is actually really funny.

One of the things I've noticed about this game is that everyone loves to spout opinions on it, yet few actually spend enough time on anything higher than casual (very easy) difficulty beforehand to have any idea what they're talking about. If you don't use the combat wheel often you are doing something wrong. Yes, it pauses combat. You will be doing this all the time as was obviously intended. The most particularly useful and frequent combat pausing is done when fighting geth hoppers. You will not come close to surviving hardcore or insanity without using the wheel. Maybe veteran, but you'd still be making things harder on yourself just to play the game like it's Halo.

I don't use the combat wheel because I use tactics

That doesn't make much sense.

Regardless, if you only want to play on casual and laugh as your enemies explode when you spit at them, that's completely fine. Mass Effect's default difficulty is kind of a joke, and I have a feeling 'veteran' was normal/default, while 'casual' was 'easy' for a long time during development. This would also explain there being no extra achievements for veteran. Then towards the end some genius, possibly the same person who designed the inventory system, decided it was all too different for people and they had to make it easier by default.

Anyway, talking about tactics as they relate to casual is pointless to begin with. The player has already decided they would rather things be a cake walk. There really is no need for strategy in casual... period.

So yes, if you only play on easy you don't need the combat wheel I guess. You will, however, entirely miss the meat of the gameplay. So just flat out suggesting to people that they never need to use it is inaccurate at best, with more of a tilt towards bad advice.

SilentScope001:
Would anyone also send me a PM with the plot of Mass Effect? I'd be interested in reading that plot.

EDIT: Never mind. I think I got it from Wikipedia. The irony is this: What if you don't LIKE the story or the depth? If so, then ME isn't really good at all.

I just finished reading, although I still want to read it from J-val.

What people need to realize, is that its HIS review, he can do it however he wants,
otherwise, it would be exactly like EVERY OTHER REVIEW EVER DONE!
Seriously, if u want to see a review where they throw numbers in the air to describe how bad the plot was and how good the game play was, then go to game spot or something.
Bens reviews are a change, something different, and they're pretty funny.

If you don't like his review, then start your own site and do your own review,
then watch how everyone ELSE complains about how YOUR review was unfair and ect. ect...

Good reviews will be unfair to people who hate the game,
bad reviews will be unfair to people who love the game,
and because we're all human, we're all different in what we like.

I personally like these reviews,
they pretty much say what I think about these games.

i think space is there to explane where the planets are.

great review but wheres this week's review? ..oh year xmas. yahtzee how dare you have a life (joke)

whether he enjoyed the game or not is irrelevant.

not everyone -has- to enjoy mass effect, just like not everyone -has- to enjoy yahtzee's review of it.

personally, i loved the game, just as much as i loved his review. everyone here seems to forget the fundamental purpose of both: to entertain. while the game itself is not, by far, a pile of steaming horse dung, i find that magnifying the flaws of the game is infinitely more capable of holding my attention than watching another reviewer stroke himself off to it. ultimately, if i want to watch someone drop to their knees and fellate bioware, i'd go to gamespot or ign.

it made me laugh. it made me miss the week yahtzee took off. it will make me come back to have another laugh at the expense of another game on wednesday.

Basically, Yahtzee = epic win :D
Full stop.
End of discussion.

Nah but seriously, no matter how much you love a game, you really can't take him seriously enough to hate him for what he says about it. For example, I love the halo franchise, and normally I despise mocking it or speaking against it, but I watched Yahtzee's Halo 3 review and absolutely loved it. His reviews are just too funny to take seriously. Of course, he does have his points, but they're far far more exagerated than what they really are. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and not everyone loves or hates the same game. There are the foaming-at-the-mouth 9-year olds screaming abuse down Xbox headsets in a game of Halo, there are folk who like to sit and play solitaire all day, etc etc the list goes on.
You can be angry at people who genuinely dislike your favourite game and deliberately make fun of it to piss you off, but you can't get angry at Yahtzee for doing it, because he does it entirely for comic effect. It's his JOB. That's why the escapist hired him to do these reviews, because he can take the piss out of games and be genuinely funny about it. There's only been one game which he's really praised, and that was Portal. It's nothing unusual when Yahtzee completely shoots down a game. Even if it is your favourite game. When he's not doing a review on your favourite game, he'll be doing a review on a game which other people find spectacularly awesome, and yet they don't cry out in anger.

Anyhow, now that I've made my input, is Yahtzee actually doing a review this week? What happened to last week's review? Festive holidays?

toastiest
ooo my condolences :P

Anyway Mass effect is not the best bioware RPG yet, I like the whitcher more even if the combat and inventory system is flawed and the dialog is meek in comparasion to mass effect.

question, when's the next ZP coming out?

AngryCola:

That doesn't make much sense.

Regardless, if you only want to play on casual and laugh as your enemies explode when you spit at them, that's completely fine. Mass Effect's default difficulty is kind of a joke, and I have a feeling 'veteran' was normal/default, while 'casual' was 'easy' for a long time during development. This would also explain there being no extra achievements for veteran. Then towards the end some genius, possibly the same person who designed the inventory system, decided it was all too different for people and they had to make it easier by default.

Anyway, talking about tactics as they relate to casual is pointless to begin with. The player has already decided they would rather things be a cake walk. There really is no need for strategy in casual... period.

So yes, if you only play on easy you don't need the combat wheel I guess. You will, however, entirely miss the meat of the gameplay. So just flat out suggesting to people that they never need to use it is inaccurate at best, with more of a tilt towards bad advice.

Tactics are what you use instead of running into enemy gunfire. The big one is retreat. Most people seem to forget you can do that. You have no idea what difficulty I played on so do not presume you know. And strategy would not enter into casual play as strategy is completely different from tactics and would not factor much in an individual engagement of an RPG. Perhaps you should be playing FPS rather than RPG's as I was under the impression that and Role Playing Game was a Role Playing Game and hence the name. The point of playing is to interact with the story line and characters.

Most players are not hardcore gamers. You however seem to be veteran of shooters. The game has to be playable to casual gamers who might not have the same experience as you. If you found it easy then good for you. I found it easy to hence my lack of Wheel usage. Now that Christmass is over I will go back and play the game on a harder difficutly. My point is that casual gamers need not be intimidated by feeling they need to use the wheel all the time.

hmm no vid for new years day :(

ya know what i think that charismatic stalion did? When The Escapist asked him what day he'd like to post his reviews he had a quick look at the 2008 calendar and took advantage of a 1 in 3000 year anomaly..
There won't be any reviews released on Ash Wednesday, Shrove Wednesday, Good Wednesday, Easter Wednesday and of course all 4 Bank holiday Wednesdays.

hehehe.

(in all seriousness though, there all very good and free of course so who could possibly complain?)

is there anyone who bases his opinion on zero punctuation??? instead of a serious but non-hilarious review? It's just fun, I don't take anything serious, so I don't see where all the injustice-fuzz is about

then again, as for the femininity of JRPG males, that's serious:
1. Asian males are more feminime. They have less testosterone and stuff. So yeah, the character style reflects this
2. Those characters bring some much needed female gamers into our world! I don't know many fangirls of gears of war or anything

tobyornottoby:
is there anyone who bases his opinion on zero punctuation??? instead of a serious but non-hilarious review? It's just fun, I don't take anything serious, so I don't see where all the injustice-fuzz is about

then again, as for the femininity of JRPG males, that's serious:

1. Asian males are more feminime. They have less testosterone and stuff. So yeah, the character style reflect this
2. Those characters bring some much needed female gamers into our world! I don't know many fangirls of gears of war or anything

To be honest, Zero Punctuation seems far more credible to me than any of the "serious" reviews. IGN and the likes are totally shit. They base their scores entirely on hype, which is why they gave Assassin's Creed and Halo 3 massive ratings, only for everyone to discover how crap they were when they went to take it home.

NSiky:

tobyornottoby:
is there anyone who bases his opinion on zero punctuation??? instead of a serious but non-hilarious review? It's just fun, I don't take anything serious, so I don't see where all the injustice-fuzz is about

then again, as for the femininity of JRPG males, that's serious:

1. Asian males are more feminime. They have less testosterone and stuff. So yeah, the character style reflect this
2. Those characters bring some much needed female gamers into our world! I don't know many fangirls of gears of war or anything

To be honest, Zero Punctuation seems far more credible to me than any of the "serious" reviews. IGN and the likes are totally shit. They base their scores entirely on hype, which is why they gave Assassin's Creed and Halo 3 massive ratings, only for everyone to discover how crap they were when they went to take it home.

really? maybe it's just different tastes then. I think he focuses on the wrong stuff, attacking RPG's for having much text & comparing the bottom-up zelda with top-down half-life & such, attacking apples for not being pears

*sigh*

No review this week either, huh?

Damn it! I'm starting to go into withdrawal!

I can understand the christmas break last week but i cant see an immediate reason for this weeks lack of a review. Maybe christmas was not the reason for last weeks hiatus, maybe Yahtzee has had enough of the zp reviews and just cant be bothered to do it anymore so he has quit and is never coming back NNNOOOOOOO!!!! YAHTZEE IS NEVER COMING BACK.

Blind IO:
I can understand the christmas break last week but i cant see an immediate reason for this weeks lack of a review. Maybe christmas was not the reason for last weeks hiatus, maybe Yahtzee has had enough of the zp reviews and just cant be bothered to do it anymore so he has quit and is never coming back NNNOOOOOOO!!!! YAHTZEE IS NEVER COMING BACK.

Don't even joke about that

>8(

Apparently the Escapist list wasn't updated. My apologies Yahtzee.

The new review has been up since 6:00 PM, the list just didn't get updated

Link to review

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/2768-Zero-Punctuation-Super-Mario-Galaxy

Super Mario Galaxy review, they forgot to put it on the ZP page.

alright, now that i have my yahtzee fix all is well in the world again. :D

Call me retarded, but I was mildly disappointed he didn't make a most inappropriate joke about a certain red dot which briefly banned the game because of the hype over a lesbian sex scene :P

That, my friends, is the ultimate example of hype distorting a game.

I agree with him on the subject of CtrlAltDel... the exception to the rule is, oddly enough, the comic concerning Mass Effect:

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20071119

It's Witting, Charmy and, most importantly, to the point. And I'm British, I'm aware of the typing error, I just thought it was more 'FUN' this way.

fundude365:
I agree with him on the subject of CtrlAltDel... the exception to the rule is, oddly enough, the comic concerning Mass Effect:

http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20071119

It's Witting, Charmy and, most importantly, to the point. And I'm British, I'm aware of the typing error, I just thought it was more 'FUN' this way.

haha i bet you anything that isnt coinciedence.

eggdog14:

David Cat:
I fail to see how yahtzee can complain about too much dialogue considering how much of it there was in art of theft

There wasn't any dialogue in Art of Theft.

And i totally agree about webcomics, they can't really be that funny if it takes 10 minutes to get to the punchline. And it usually isn't that funny.

There was quite some dialogue in the John DeFoe Games, especially 'Trilby's Notes' but it certainly was not too much and the story was quite good. I enjoyed the John DeFoe quadrilogy a lot :)

OMFG Mass Errect

that was so lame

(i mean the joke not the review)

I just love your game-rewiews :D

Found this the other day and figured it was worth sharing here:
http://boards.1up.com/zd/board/message?board.id=games&thread.id=551350
(yeah it's a repost the original article link is now dead)

I don't know what game Kevin McCullough was playing that lets you "...engage" and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of."
But I don't think it was mass effect.

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