Zero Punctuation: Crysis

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Crysis

This week on Zero Punctuation, Crysis.

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Another true and brillant review My Reviewing hero

As always, you fail to disappoint

Thank you very much.

I love the blunt honesty... awesome.

Ohhh goodie. I can't wait until I have to nitro-cool my computer to play this.

Still want CoD4 reviewed

weird review.

I don't want to sell my soul to play this.

Deliveration(words are fun) as always, thank you.

CRUMPETS

im surprised you didnt mention that vista crashes when you try and autosave...that might just be me but i dunno. Also with everything on very high (even in 1024x768) its amazingly pretty, as a matter of fact im off to play it now.

Excellent review as always.

Excellent reveiw yahtsee
you hit the nail on the hammer before this came out everyone was like"oh this will be one of the best games ever its going to set a new standed but as soon as it came out all i heard from people and friends was that thw game was a real let down and it should never be bought and it can crawl in hole filed with c4 and other explosive elements blow up and die

One of your better reviews in a while, random, witty, and references to past reviews.

I am gonna revel in originality by saying: Excellent review as always.

First to congratulate you Yahtzee. Great review.

Still doesn't stop me to rumble round the jungle with either me shotgun or minigun.

Oh, I'm Malaysian, btw. You know how it is between us Malaysians & Australia.

Ohhh, finaly. I have waited for a whole week:O
Mahh, it is great tas allways, and the pictures are SPUERB=)

lol, hippopotami

I'm glad I'm not the only who thought "Jason Statham" when "Psycho/Savage" (or whatever the handle) was introduced

Muddy62:
Excellent REVIEW YAHTZEE
you hit the nail on the hammer before this came out everyone was like"oh this will be one of the best games ever its going to set a new standARds

Well it did...anybody know a game with better graphics.In fact can anybody think of the game that can top Crysis within the next 5 years?

very nice, liking the references especialy the shawshank redemtion one, and the salad visual from previous reviews

Good job comming back from in my opinion a sub-par review in silent hill origins and making one of your best reviews yet. You have once again shown why you are the reason so many people vist this website.

Dead-on review. Especially the part about the VTOL. I'm just surprised that he didn't mention the ineptitude of a lot of the NKs.

Another brilliant review as always. Crysis does look incredible but Mr Croshaw is correct, the vehicles i.e. cars and the helicopter thingy handle like boats and the boats just handle...well....like bricks? Terrible! Other than that and the somewhat lineararity towards the end levels, i think its a good game. And one of yahtzee's finer reviews.

JakubK666:

Muddy62:
Excellent REVIEW YAHTZEE
you hit the nail on the hammer before this came out everyone was like"oh this will be one of the best games ever its going to set a new standARds

Well it did...anybody know a game with better graphics.In fact can anybody think of the game that can top Crysis within the next 5 years?

Heres a question, who gives a dam? Games already look excessively good as it is, spewing out pretty graphics is second nature these days since they've had two years to get good at it. True, my comp has no chance in hell of playing Crysis even on low, but then i dont have the money to upgrade often anyway.
Crysis is just an example of how good things can look if you have a behemoth pc of legend that would have cost a small island and all the money its inhabitants posessed.

"Crysis is pretty" hmmm... I think I'll have a look.

well very funny review but im not sure what you actaully think about buying the game. it seems like you were saying buy it only because it is pretty but that sounds totally unlike you, mr. croshaw, so i am forced to ask, what is your final statement about this game? is it worth picking up?

One of the best games till the aliens arrive, when it loves its uniqueness.
Vehicles are not too bad, but not useful for fight, use them for rushing through, not fighting in, a jeep is not built to withstand firefights... and VTOL was a bit unmanoeverable, but still fun.

Could do with more exploration though.
oh yeah and the game is too short, cliffhangers are no good...

So I guess if I didn't like Farcry, I shouldn't get Crysis then?

Guess I can check the videos out for the pretty. Will save me a few bob.

Great review again :) canni wait for next week.

Best review so far! :D

JakubK666:

Muddy62:
Excellent REVIEW YAHTZEE
you hit the nail on the hammer before this came out everyone was like"oh this will be one of the best games ever its going to set a new standARds

Well it did...anybody know a game with better graphics.In fact can anybody think of the game that can top Crysis within the next 5 years?

Actually, there's been rumors (I sort-of trust the person I heard it from) about a Far Cry 2 that'll be based on an uppgraded CryEngine with even more detailed physics!

Oh, and about whining comps;
My comp has a 1.81Ghz AMD single core, 1GB RAM and a GeForce 6600, and it looks completely awful! (I actually bought it in advance of geting a new comp). The sharders could best be described as 8-bit bmp's copy-pasted from Soldat and given a lower opacity in photoshop elements 3.0. Well, that 8800's gonna be appreciated.

At least all the "OMgF ReeVIEw CRYSIS PLAZ!11!!!!1!!shift+one!1" people will shutup now.

All that's left is are the ones screaming "OMgF ReeVIEw COD4 PLAZ!11!!!!1!!shift+one!1".

Fairly decent review to add to the pile. Getting a bit tired of pure FPS/Platform game reviews though ;0

Surprised i havn't seen any spam for RTS games yet.

wow, didn't think this would come...I still expected a little more, maybe a bit on super powers, it's not like that roof-jumping was neglected in AC review. I have more than a few sections in Crysis where I jumped up a 2 story building and knocked the living fuck out of some korean dude before he saw it coming. How many games can you do that in? Ok, maybe most of them, but not as spectacularly.

I honestly heard the alien spaceship part and thought Yahtzee was going to tear it a new one. For those that didn't play it (if there are any here) there is a section of the game where you have very little weapons (like a pistol with 10 rounds and a shotgun with 4 shells) and have to float around an alien mothership beating up giant alien sperms. It sucks balls, more balls than it should for giant alien sperms (I feel clevar). It's not cause it's too hard but you have to chase these fuckers that move 3 times as fast as you, and your only option for killing them is to grab and punch them. The first half of the game is Superman, you can leap tall buildings and run upside the enemy's asshole, the alien spaceship demotes you to toddler in the deep end of the pool...

So yeah...more bashing on the bad parts, more comments on the good parts....feel a little cheated...

Pure sweet awesome goodyness....
When thinking that ZP couldn't make better reviews.

Game itself seems ok... Unfortunatly I have never been able to drewl on graphics since all my computers failed to run the latest games at the time on full ress, so I ignore it.

Yo, to "thebrink". Re: "For those that didn't play it (if there are any here) there is a section of the game where you have very little weapons (like a pistol with 10 rounds and a shotgun with 4 shells) and have to float around an alien mothership beating up giant alien sperms. It sucks balls, more balls than it should for giant alien sperms"

There were many many reload points. If you looked up in the many of the rooms, you'd see vent-like areas with light streaming out of them (things lit up are usually meant to draw your focus) that were huge ammo and weapons caches. The rational was that the aliens were gathering human objects, but it was obviously a deus ex machina to explain how there's human ammo in an alien ship.

All-in-all, that section was pretty fun. Full 3d movement, and it all felt very natural. The only bothers were the occasional 1-hit kills by a charging "alien sperm" as you so affectionately call them.

That may have been the best description ever of difficult flight controls. I'd totally steal it if I hadn't already told everyone I know about ZP!

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