Zero Punctuation: Crysis

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The game reviewed really well generally. Check it out on meta or grankings. It is right up there with the all time greats, and for good reason. It is a great game, with dozens of emergent moments, and lots of hilarity in that nano suit.

Also this you need teh $5000 PC crap is getting really annoying. Most people who say that are either console fanboys, or console fanboys.

With a $200 8800GT you can play the game on high settings, that will make any other game pale in comparison.

The review was hilarious BTW. I disagree on the ground vehicles, but the helicopter sequence was horrid.

I enjoyed chugging on my GTS as I ran through the same terrain i did in Far Cry but with the sole exception of being able to throw turtles and metal hats at people. The only graphical marvel I saw was the effective line of sight (i.e.: across the island) and the best part of the game was wrecking things by plowing into them with my fishtailing jeep, when i could get it to actually go the way I wanted.

I found Call of Duty 4 much better. Amazing storyline, one that actually made you emotional in parts (a certain helicopter aftermath) and gripping your seat in others (like the sniper mission). The graphics were much more varied than Crysis attempted with the whole "island, alien ship, island" thing, tons of different areas. And the gameplay was pretty good.

This made a terrible day so much better, thanks.

Grinfoot:
Dead-on review. Especially the part about the VTOL. I'm just surprised that he didn't mention the ineptitude of a lot of the NKs.

I actually have no idea what he meant with the VTOL. All the vehicles explode when coughed on or when they tuch a pebble but thats what makes the VTOL great! There ist nothing to crash into! It might have been that I play the game with a 360 controller, I'll go and try out the VTOL thing with a mouse and keyboard.

The review was great btw.

yathzee another hilarious review.... people it just a game you dont have to fight for others people opinion about not buying the game. another things ... yathzee if you care what this anonymously guy (me) its talking about i might well point something about the review.... first i must say whatever complain i may have about your review i totally respect it:

I dont know but it seems to me that every review you have been given you talk like you are dissapoint of yourself for liking the game or for praising it. example: the super mario galaxy review wasnt that great because in the mayor part of the review you were triyng to say that because nintendo wasn´t original in games by using mario like whore in chains, and then after that you were looking for something bad to say about SMG instead you were mocking the game fo its no contextual things. while you got your opinion all the people i heard the camera angle was good. and then you just said that the camera angle was bad and given the history of you been mocking the games doesnt help....

but whatever your probably wont heard me out .. or wont even look at the forum part... sooo good luck ...

Carbon016:
I enjoyed chugging on my GTS as I ran through the same terrain i did in Far Cry but with the sole exception of being able to throw turtles and metal hats at people. The only graphical marvel I saw was the effective line of sight (i.e.: across the island) and the best part of the game was wrecking things by plowing into them with my fishtailing jeep, when i could get it to actually go the way I wanted.

I found Call of Duty 4 much better. Amazing storyline, one that actually made you emotional in parts (a certain helicopter aftermath) and gripping your seat in others (like the sniper mission). The graphics were much more varied than Crysis attempted with the whole "island, alien ship, island" thing, tons of different areas. And the gameplay was pretty good.

If that's all you saw in Crysis, I'm impressed... Crysis adds so many layers to the original Far Cry recipe that they hardly even compare beyond the point that they're both jungle-based shooters with you playing a veritable one-man army...

COD4 was the most repetitive on-rails shooter I've played in a long time (and I dare say I've played every single shooter of relevance on a PC the last 3 years).. It had a good story-line, but the gameplay wasn't up there with it... It was like "A long pertruded version of Whack-a-mole", QED... I admit it had it's moments, but the game simply didn't do it for me in the game-play dept.... And I can't wait for Yahtzee to get his hands on it...

XaVierDK:

Actually, you don't... You're a leuitenant, and second-in-command of your squad... Something you find out somewhere along the line...

Yeah but your superior officer calling you 'kid' doesn't really inspire confidence in that respect. The way he said some of the stuff that followed that made it seem to me like this was the first time your character had ever worn the suit into combat too.

Hmm, that's the second reference to "The Shawnshank Redemtions" I've seen this week, and I saw that movie last weekend. I wonder how many jokes I've missed by not watching that movie until now...

definatly, played crysis on delta?? its fucking awesomely hard. im sick of these bullshit games that're made to have been finished by drunken fratboys i miss the old hard games that would end up costing you more in new keyboards and domestic disturbance fines. i thort the AI was great in some parts unlike most games when you snipe someone from a distance in cover every bot has a huge erection for your position unlike crysis were they freak out and run about, while only other enemy snipers have a better chance to see you. thats my rant over...

From my brief time playing the Crysis demo, I definitely felt that Delta was the rock-hard setting that the top difficulty of a game should be. I haven't had that many deaths in an FPS since Operation Flashpoint and ArmA: Armed Assault (I'm still playing them, actually).

Nice reference to the ArmA map, BTW. 25x25km, fully rendered without loading screens. I like to put that into perspective versus the world map of Oblivion: 16km^2 vs. 400km^2.

Murian:

XaVierDK:

Actually, you don't... You're a leuitenant, and second-in-command of your squad... Something you find out somewhere along the line...

Yeah but your superior officer calling you 'kid' doesn't really inspire confidence in that respect. The way he said some of the stuff that followed that made it seem to me like this was the first time your character had ever worn the suit into combat too.

Well, they need a "plausible" wasy of introducing you to the game's mechanics... Though I agree they do make you feel a rather bit "n00bily"...

Best Regards

XaVierDK:

Murian:

XaVierDK:

Actually, you don't... You're a leuitenant, and second-in-command of your squad... Something you find out somewhere along the line...

Yeah but your superior officer calling you 'kid' doesn't really inspire confidence in that respect. The way he said some of the stuff that followed that made it seem to me like this was the first time your character had ever worn the suit into combat too.

Well, they need a "plausible" wasy of introducing you to the game's mechanics... Though I agree they do make you feel a rather bit "n00bily"...

Best Regards

I dont know why anyone would feel noobly, the characters in the game dont even follow basic firearm safety gidelines, so how can you take them seriously? /sarcasm

I noticed at 00:45, it uses the map of Sahrani from ArmA: Combat Operations.

Yahtzee: I nearly died when I realized that the pussification ray was a Hello Kitty vibrator. Well played, sir.

This is the first review that sucked..I saw crysis and I thought "damn this is gonna be good."

Well, like everyone said, you hit the nail on the head....but the nail only went halfway in, and that nail is in kind of crooked too.

Game for sightseeing? What a load of shit.

YOU CAN DO BETTER THEN THIS YAHTZEE!

I've played the Crysis demo now thanks to Yahtzee. I really enjoyed the sneaking around part... a lot. The combat might be crap, I wouldn't know yet. The game ran brilliantly on my cobbled together machine with medium settings and just as well as with textures and objects bumped to high. I was really surprised how smoothly it ran. I'd really look forward to play it on some DX10 high dollar rig. The controls are both rich in number but not obscure or convoluted enough to be troublesome. Thank god this isn't another 3-button console-game. If I've fully adapted to the game after 30 minutes then some thing's wrong. The weapon customization menu is done almost as God himself would code.

The most fun part of FarCry was infiltrating the island, basically the first mission and it subsequently got less fun from there and I assume Crysis will be the same once I'm fighting neon supermutants and blowing through rich detailed terrain and shooting randomly in complete disregard to the delicate and rich gameplay from hour one.

The story is rather linear and contrived but at least the mission design doesn't force you to do things TOO rigidly. Never so far has my cover been intentionally blown in a cut scene or if I have two objectives I can go to whichever first I want. It's not Armed Assault freedom, but they could've made it worse.

I very much enjoy that the UI is finally starting to be toned down in games. If I want to aim my gun I want to use the ironsights. The hardest difficulty setting is the ONLY way to play this. It's a shame that I have to choose enemy difficulty in the same click as realism options. "Oh you want Koreans to speak Korean? No crosshairs... yeah now the enemies can withstand 3 headshots." I like realism and difficulty that doesn't necessitate making the enemies stronger. MoH:Airborne I'm looking at you...grrr. I also noticed the finger on trigger guy in the opening cutscene. That kind of stuff breaks immersion for me. The more you learn about proper military from factual sources instead of games/movies the more you really respect their abilities.

Unfortunately, the best part of the game, what it looked like the game was perfect for, cooperative gaming on a 2-4 player scale is... not there. Community addons are going to be very stupid "Shoot all the AI types" and I have to say I'm very disappointed. Single player and adversarial multiplayer are minuscule in comparison to the joy that good cooperative gaming accrues.

Yahtzee is right, making Crysis into a exploration game that showed off the engine would be proper use of this game. Your AI and story events scripts would have to be smarter, maybe, but it'd be both it. I'm so tired of the on-rails shooter... CoD4... don't make me laugh.

My PC can play this on High! Consequently I am cool!

Chalee:
My PC can play this on High! Consequently I am cool!

b00n.

nilpferdkoenig:

Chalee:
My PC can play this on High! Consequently I am cool!

b00n.

n00b.

Chalee:
My PC can play this on High! Consequently I am cool!

so you got a big PC-erection? LOL

I loved how the PC-erection actually moves the desk ^^

Pugnate:
Also this you need teh $5000 PC crap is getting really annoying. Most people who say that are either console fanboys, or console fanboys.

With a $200 8800GT you can play the game on high settings, that will make any other game pale in comparison.

So you know, I'm not a console fanboy, and I will still complain about the unreasonable power requirements of games like Crysis until those requirements go away, even if I like the games I complain about. Why? Because I can count the number of games with minimum/recommended specs on the box that have actually been reasonable in the last few years, on one hand, and not use all of it.

To drive this home, you've essentially said that "you need only spend $200 rather than $5000 dollars to play this game." Oh great, that $5050 game actually only costs $250 - when you include buying the game. How exactly is that any better? Yes you can say that the expenditure will benefit you in all games you play, but if only one game actually needs it to be payable then you are only really paying for that one game. A reasonable analogy would be buying a modern console to play only one game - just silly.

I apologise if this feels like a personal attack, because it isn't trying to be, your veiwpoint is pretty common, but that doesn't make it any less ridiculous in my eyes. Crysis isn't selling well for a reason (~87,000 copies in the US in the first month), and this is the most obvious one.

I think you'll need a pretty powerful card to run just about any new FPS on the pc though, I can't see how you can say that it's only crysis that needs it...

Except that the developers/publishers never directly admit that. Crysis itself has a reccomended video card of "7800 series or X1800 series or better" when plenty of benchmarking articles have shown that should clearly be "8800 series or HD2900 series or better." These specs never state the detail levels that should be expected either.

Yes that's a valid point and I agree with you there, sometimes the recommended specs are really just a big joke... But that was not what you were saying in the original post, and that's why I commented - it's just the original comment that you'll only need a powerful card for Crysis that I objected to :)

hehe...sometimes....heh..... : /

I see what you're getting at - but my experience has actually shown me the opposite to be largely true.

My now year old X1950pro has only really suffered in Supreme Commander (unoptimized game) Rainbow 6 Vegas (again, unoptimized for PC) and Crysis. Everything else it has handled fine, and by fine I mean sustained 25+fps on largely high or max settings(with HDR etc) at 1280x1024. Not too shabby for a 'mid-range' card eh?

I'll admit that I have upgraded on the basis of performance of a single game - whatever I've been addicted to online at the time, like 2142 - but it's only been the games that suck up most of my time that have warranted that power. For me, Crysis doesn't have that power, since it's a mainly single player game. When I really want more frames in Team Fortress 2, or start playing something else online that my system can't quite cope with, that will probably be when I upgrade.

I suspect this sort of arguement would never have arisen had ATI released products that could compete on an even footing with Nvidia's, since graphics power would have advanced a bit more, and as a result more people would have Crysis capable hardware......

Crysis is pretty.

'nuff said.

Cheebs:
CRUMPETS

Sorry... pushed report instead of quote there... I wish I wasn't blonde sometimes, but I'm a bloke so... meh. And Crumpets are delicious.

The Alien Ship levels are where the fun ends... except for being run over by a Jet on the Aircraft carrier, that never, EVER, gets old.

Crysis really is all about graphics...and the whole invisibility thing. I finished it on a not-so-space-age computer and I have to say it sucks big time when you turn down the graphics settings...it has the exact same feeling as your typical summer blockbuster movie...bad-assed hero that does everything (I do mean everything...the US brings in an army of tanks and soldiers and they ask you to kill everybody on the way so they can pass towards the mine, where you are also asked to kill everybody on your own, not to mention the final boss battle), amazing special effects, and adrenaline, but just isn't all that fun after the cloak mode gets boring.

I'm not sure if this is concidered un-natural. but i was actually good at manouvering the VTOL. I shot down the enemies in dog fights and the only 2 times i died it was because of those damn vortexes. The best part was that i played it on Delta and it was my first play through. I had abused the demo until i came to the conclusion that playing crysis on any level below Delta is for pussies. well, back to the VTOL. I could fly and shoot down aliens with ease and still people on Crysis message boards tell you to use the VTOL as a stationary gun in the air. WTF! For me it was like flying smething obeying my thoughts, doing exactly what i wanted it to do. PWNING aliens.
I'm not saying that i like crysis. I hate it and all it's fanatical fanboys (who if you ask me are worse than the Halo fanboys) who claim that the game is good and that its SOOOOO realistic. Yeah. The graphic is realistic. but koreans who can take a whole 30 rounds in the guts and laught at you is kind of annoying. Then we have the super koreanswith miniguns who is just a rip-off from "medal of hoinor, airborne"s super nazi elite with mg42s.

Fantastic review, one of the best yet! This confirmed a great many suspiscions I had, and once again dragged over-looked deficiencies kicking and screaming into the light without unjustifiably making the game sound like shit. I wish more reviews would devote this sort of attention to a game's problems instead of taking a guillible and weak "glass-half-full" approach.

I was waiting for a good review like this to help me decide of I should wait on the game, and I think I will, I have more than enough shooters right now.

Also, probably one of the funniest yet, I laughed my ass off at the part about the helicopter. Even the tone was funny on it's own, the words "from space" were perfectly delivered. Well done!

I almost cried laughing on the explosion after the cough. Great job.

He did it! He did it, he finally did it :P I'll be happy now for a while ^^
I didn't exactly like Far Cry and I hope I didn't sell anything as important for my current PC but I thought Crysis was overall a pretty awsome game, though I would've had more points to criticize other than the story and the VTOL controls. Loved the story compared to most shooters out there at least and I had my problems with the VTOL at first, after 2 reloads I gave up, took a nap and came back 12 hours later and somehow the thing flew like butter after that and I liked the controls and maneuverability more than any other vehicle in the game + I found out that it also had heat-guided-missiles or something like that, which didn't joke around much.

Keep it up and you'll soon need your own dedicated spermbank for all the requests you'll get.

___________________________________________________________________________

Edit after reading through some of the other comments:

by the way, if you're one of the two kind of people that dislike crysis because:
a) enemies are too hard to kill and you need 2-3 headshots
- try turning down the DIFFICULTY, you can even do it in the middle of the game without restarting and it won't hurt you, nor will your grandmother laugh at you.
b) couldn't get through the alien-ship because there wasn't enough ammo
- crysis isn't a game where you HAVE to shoot everything that moves, you can get through that entire level without shooting a single bullet and/or without killing a single alien.
You CAN also do the same in several of the other levels and solve them in different ways also if you're open to it.
c) your machine can't run it
- don't be cheap, the game NEEDS a good graphics card and a dual core to run over anything, get a 8800GT and a cheap C2D for ~200-300$ and it'll run perfectly on High, along with all the other shooters and games out there running better or on highest details too.
Not to say that it's pretty much scaleable if you want to play it on low or medium.

other than that try using your brain a bit and think of creative ways to trick your opponents or kill stuff and vary in styles, while it may be fun to snipe people from afar or to stealth behind them and turn their necks running around with strength punching people through walls, kill them by throwing chicken or throwing flaming exploding barrels on cars can be equally fun

I've noticed "other" shortcomings on playthroughs that people wouldn't even mention like in the "destroy tanks" mission trying to push it to the side with strength or jumping on it and trying to throw a nade down the hole doesn't seem to do anything.
Several missions hints were missing to solve a thing or two, like waiting for several minutes in the endroom of the alien ship before you can go on or any indication that you're supposed to take a target out with special ammo or where to get it.
Not enough variety in the enemies in the early missions and still a lot of bugs etc.

I didn't know anything about Crysis past it was really, really pretty and that you could blow up a LOT of barrels. Thanks for putting everything into light 'Zee.

He even put "The Hands Resist Him" (the famous "cursed" painting) in there! Creepy. Does he have to have special cardiovascular training apparatus to speak for so long without catching breath? A very good review, as ever. I think Mr. Croshaw should review... [scratches head in a quasi-maningful way to indicate greater intelligence than he actually has] I've got it! "Dynasty Warriors 6" Heheheheh.

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