I love rail shooters, and I love Umbrella Chronicles. I also have a zapper (suck on that).

One of the funniest ZPs in a while, almost wall to wall giggling.

Nice one again Yahtzee. I like the fact that you didn't really complain about the game, just a subtle thrashing for an ok game.

billy-j:
did anyone notice he nearly ran out of breath at about 1.35?

Yes! I thought so! Getting old, Yahtzee! Or it's all that Valve spunk.

Yahtzee, you are a god among men!

Thanks for the lunchtime laughs, bud.

-SS

Also please contact us if you liked the Painkiller short I did last week because apparently you are a deviant and must be culled

Does it count if you smirked (although in pain) it because it reminded you of depressing interview sessions where you've had to put up with candidates who very nearly did exactly what happened in the short?

Muhmorpehger!

Bang on the issues there... Some of that game is so bad it's hilarious yet they got the important things right.

Thanks Yahtzee, you saved my day from those ridiculous "Jedi vs penis" threads. Im so fucking sick of them.

Yahtzee back to his best after the dull witcher review :) bravo!

Thank you, Yahtzee, for stating what I've always said about the Resident Evil series: Abysmal play control (the entire series except for 4), unintentionally hilarious dialogue (INCLUDING 4), and Umbrella's formulaic flatness as villainy. Chronicles, at least, cut out SOME of the play control issues by not having you move around, but still, it makes up for that by demanding superhuman reflexes (if the person who is actually GOOD at this game were a computer, s/he'd be a computer capable of running Crysis at full graphics, s/he'd be THAT fast). 100% true, Yahtzee, except I disagree that it's not the same game over an over again, I think it is. Maybe the first couple sequels had some variety, but every game since then up till 4 has about as much variety as one Zelda installment from the next.

Not the best, but excellent none the less. Go you.

I loved the bit on Captain Planet. I've actually thought the same thing about that show, when reflecting on it. I remember the bad guys dumping toxic waste in rainforest, not because it would save them money, but because they really had it in for the environment, which makes absolutely no sense when I think about it now. However, who here didn't play with cheap plastic toy rings after watching this show? I thought so.

Great review, though.

Alcari:
Nice one as usual.
And don't bother with the zapper, it's like it's custom made to annoy the hell out of you, and make every game more complex and bothersome.

Liked the picture of our hometown Brisbane, but Yahtzee's right. Can't get a bloody thing here unless you order it in. Fun review as usual...can't beat BioShock for me yet, though (Guitar Hero III came close as did Crysis).

This was pretty cool, this time he sounded like he actually PLAYED THE GAME. Funny stuff.

Nice review as always.

You mispronounced "contrivance", mate. That and "inventory" makes two, Yahtzee. For a nitpicking git (albeit funny as shit), you should work on your language skills.

Main Entry: in·ven·to·ry
Pronunciation: 'in-v&n-"tor-E

Main Entry: con·triv·ance
Pronunciation: \kən-ˈtrī-vən(t)s\

As the original RE would put it "fast...talky....man...be...............fun...ny."

To put my two cents on the Zapper:

Its like fingering a fat woman back to front with chopsticks. Its so fucking irritating until you find a comfortable position and get your trigger finger and thumb to coordinate.

Haven't watched the review yet, (school comps don't have flash....or speakers) but I will say I enjoyed the game. The only part that annoys me is how damn hard it is to land critical hits. I love how it's not just like a shooting range, you actually interact with the level to find hidden items and paths.

Dammit, Yahtzee, what's the matter whitCHA? (Sorry, I love Chrono Cross) You had the chance to review another Wii game and you pick UMBRELLA CHRONICLES?!

I don't want to see you review another Wii game until you get your hands on No More Heroes. It'll take everything that you thought had a sense of believability and strangle it above a pool of boiling LUNACY.

Got it?! Get yer hands on that game NAO! ...Though... now that I think about it, it might be another game that has been banned in Australia due to its explicit content... in which case, you'd better import it!

Careful or you will fall into Zombie Kitten Corrosive Piddle after a rousing game of Twing Twang after you take a full load of Nazi Bullet Bum Rape.

Good review, although the "rail shooter" game is, agreeably, annoying.

Duck hunt on a cart.

What would work better, if you toddle on over to Penny-Arcade, you will see a link (posted last week I believe) about this guy that tweaked the Wii locater to make a 3D perspective shifter. It would locate your head and move the screen accordingly.

THIS would be perfect for a game like this. How many times have you been playing a rail-type-shooter and physically DUCK when something swings at you or is shot/thrown/vomited at you?

This would make you dance around the living room like Barishnakov after one too many McDonald's Espressos dodging stuff as you point a remote-control looking device at your screen trying to hit zombies that are either to stupid to move out of the way, or are somehow superhuman and don't need to.

Side note, I am looking forward to his review of COD4. I have liked many of his reviews here, and whether or not I agree with his overall assessments, his criticisms are usually spot-on. TF2/Orange box was great, so was Arse-Creed, Heavenly Sword and a bunch of the others (me is jealous of Valve excursion).

Question though. The current batch of reviews have all been FPS, RPG or similar first person type adventures. Are there any plans in the works for an RTS game? I know there are not as many out today as there used to be, but games like Company of Heroes or Dawn of War might be fun to hear about.

Starcraft 2 is in the works, and it might be a good time to, um, fluff the pillows before any, um, "reviews" take place..... ;)

Sounds like excellent bargain-bin fodder. The rail-shooter is a thing of the past, sure, but it's also a thing of mindlessly shooting legions of zombies in the face, and sometimes that's exactly what the doctor ordered. combined with the Wiimote actually working for that kind of interface, it'd be like a console version of Serious Sam, only without the shit-tastic controls that that actual console version of Serious Sam had.

Great review, like always. I found the game to be pretty much what yahtzee did, albeit not as hard as he made it out to be. Though i cant help but agree on them still giving out the below average 90's teenage horror movie and trying to act like its something to be shocked and amazed at.

"...Only to have your last millimeter of health lost to a zombie kitten's corrosive piddle" Hilarious review, can't wait for the Call of Duty 4 video.

Personally I like mowing down hordes of zombies and wetb-...ricks (SAVED) So I rather enjoyed RE4 and this game was kind of fun obnoxious difficulty at times put aside. As always this one was funny as hell, I still don't get that painkiller video at the end of last weeks cartoon.

Edit: Good luck with CoD 4 Yahtzee, another FPS. Whoop-De-Shit.

Crap_haT:
"and Valve employees" I was in histerics. And COD4 to be reviewed, xD. Just goes to show that annoyance does prevail. "Twat blankets."

If you want Yahtzee to review a game, NAG HIM TO FUCKING DEATH!!!

NeoSpriggan:
Though i cant help but agree on them still giving out the below average 90's teenage horror movie and trying to act like its something to be shocked and amazed at.

Has anyone considered that the entire game series is a parody of every horrible zombie movie ever made? The dialog is the first game was obviously parody. I mean, there's no other way to interpret it in my eyes. From what I can gather, Capcom takes their graphics and gameplay seriously, but really use their story as little more than something to get from the Spanish village to the Spanish castle (in the case of Resident Evil 4).

Seems to me that Capcom has done a great job of screwing with all of your heads if you actually think that they take themselves seriously when it comes to dialog. For fuck's sake, "Barry, Where's Barry."

Oh wow xD That was the funniest one yet!

Resident Evil plot/dialogue as parody of horror movie conventions is an interesting idea, wrong, but interesting. At any rate, if it is parody it's poorly done. It seems more that Capcom insists on believing their audience is all 10 years old and writes down to that level.

Hilarious. Whatever the escapist is paying you it isn't enough ;)

Edit: Nice transcript by myopiczeal

Nice reference at the end.

Know any stories about squirrels?

Great review. In fact, my favorite in a while. Didn't much care for the Silent Hill review as much as others, but this one made me laugh pretty hard.

Nice job Yaht.