Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty 4

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ElArabDeMagnifico:
Ok wow the guy who absolutely nitpicks on every single minor and ignorable flaw in The Witcher gives CoD4 the praise it doesn't deserve, great, I expected this to make people realize "hey, this game doesn't deserve all the dick stroking it usually gets" but low and behold, even Yahtzee is sucking it off.

Great game, over-rated beyond belief.

You have got to be joking me. Compared to the pathetic FPS offerings we have been reciving since Duke Nukem left us, this game was just one of the best FPS's Since well duke left... What can I say it had me wanting to play it over and over just to bomb the poor little idiots running out of the church. It has the most varied, aww inspiring, OMFG gameplay I have ever seen in a FPS. Yes the mulityplayer is no Halo killer, but the Single player story line beats Halo (I dont care which one you pick) all to hell. I played this thing on my brand new custom built PC, and belive me it has to be one of my most played games (1/4 the load time of 360 :P ).

It was a funny review.
I'm starting to think I have an opposite opinion to Yahtzee.
COD4 was so linear it put me to sleep, but I enjoyed the Witcher thoroughly.

Doesn't mean I'll stop watching though. :D

figure09:

DOOSH B:
I FUCKIN LOVED THE ENDING OF THAT GAME !!! IT WAS PERFECT !!! AFTER FIGHTING AGENST ALL ODDS WITH A TIME LIMIT THAT PUTS MOST JAPAN ARCADE GAMES TO SHAME, SAVEING AMERICA (LOL) AND MAKEING IT THOUGH THE OVER SIDE WITH ALL UR FRAVRUT CHARITORS STILL FIGHTING WITH U. ONLY TO HAV EVRYONE DEI RIGHT AT THE END IN SUCH A BUTIFULY DIPRESING WHY (30 SECONDS BEFORE RESQUE) AND PROBALY DIENG UR SELF BUT NOT BEFORE NAILING THE CUNT WHO STARTED IT ALL RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES. IF THAT ISENT SEVEN SHADES OF FANTASTIC I DONT KNOW WHAT IS ??? KICK HALOS ARSE!

lmoa ok man calm down and shut your f***ing mouth! you and your crew dead is not buetiful.... it shows how war glorifying those gaes are (note to the d***s who read this: i have all 4 CoD games so im not one of those peace f***ers). it was not a perfect ending, or a perfect game, it was ok. GoW was better. half life was better. heck, CoD 2 and 3 were better. its a good game with a stupid ending and stop making such a racket about it.

oh and i bet some gay ass is gonna report me for swearing, at least i ******** it

Reported....

FOR ROCKING TOO HARD!

conqueror Kenny:
:(am i the only person in the wold that doesnt like this game

No, you're not the only one.
And let this serve a lesson to you twits that feel the need to tell people how to do their job.

no surprise he likes cod4
most fun game out now (popularity doesnt mean fun, lookin at you WoW)
he should do some mehmorpiguhs
mmorpgs

So having not read all the rest of these posts i'm going to assume he wasn't paid to do this review which might also explain the lack of enthusiasm in his reviewing charm.

In future time I suggest we stop whining like arrogant people and let the artist review one of his personal favorite or most hated games.

Also congrats on getting a blog into PC GAMER magazine, bravo for you. I to agree the portal thing is getting old.

THAT was un-fucking-believable Yahtzee.

Sat and watched this one fourt times with four different people and every time had to watch it a second time because we were constantly laughing.

Absolutely amazing.

Well, this one was still worth watching. I found it funny. Very funny. It's just that ZP usually trancends humor and brings us to a cathartic higher plane of good-natured bitching. But, I can understand the reasons behind this one not being as good as the rest (resident evil:UC, for example). He still managed to squeeze out the great joke about the weasles.
1. He was kind of "pressured" to review the game. this might have killed some creativity and enthusiasm
2. Yahtzee seemed to genuinely like the game. Admittedly, he also liked Bioshock, and that was a good review (ie: he lombasted it mercilessly). But maybe this game is too grounded in reality to be mocked effectively.
3. Jeez, you guys are demanding. It's still a funny review, with good jokes (german porn star. he he) and what seems to be a good summary of the game that actually made me interested in playing it.

Hannibal Lecter said:
Well, Yathzee - have the lambs stopped screaming?

Great review XD

Corbineau:

renard:
Now, please, let's return to the topic... don't turn this into another "MOH:airboner review"

By god, that was the single best review I've seen yet, and still makes me happy when I'm blue. Johannes Gasmask indeed!

That review was awesome (the "cry mich ein river" thing was hilarious) but the comments were closed due the usual pricks starting patriot-ranting and asking "oh yatzhee, you carismatic stallion, why so much hate on the americans?" And I don't want it to happen again....

Anyway, I haven't played the multiplayer but I'm sure It sucks since it doesn't have the charisma of Team Fortress 2, best multiplayer FPS ever.

That was awful.
I much rather like it when yahtzee gets to review what he wants to review. It wasn't nearly as funny as it should have been.
Next time, Let him do his own damn thing, Don't keep emailing him suggestions to review games which you've already fucking played and know that are good.
It wasn't good, Because he spent a good minute pointing out that everyone who emailed him is an insufferable ponce. I hope you're all happy with yourselves, Yahtzee doesn't end up churning out brilliant reviews if you bug him about it.
Moral of the story is, Don't freaking bug him Let him review what he wants.

SomeBritishDude:
Nice review Yahtzee

I think the turning point for me in this game was also the american death scene because

1) It was awesome watching buildings disintergrating and great big mushroom cloud forming over the whole of the iraq...I mean, unnamed middle east area

2)Your charcter dies, which is cool. The whole heart beating thing was kind of cool

3)The american dies, not the british guy

4)the american dies, not the british guy

However I kind of found most of the game kind of fustrating and maybe it's just because I need some seriouse medical attention but the story just confused me. Also I thought the german porn stars mastash was halarious. Plus the multiplayer causes me to go into a huff because I'm no good compared to my mates. I'm not a big fan of war games myself, partly because I'm more amused by bright colours and funny noises rather than gritty, real life, happening now stuff. This may explain why I like halo so much...

Didn't anyone else notice the sounds of little kids laughing as you walk through the playground. I know they where laughing, I can hear them, but you can't because their laughing at me I tell you, they know about what the government has put in my brain, well they'll pay, they'll all pay.

Great review and I must admit I agree with most of his points like nearlly every other week. But I have on request,

Don't do requests. CoD4 shouldn't hve been reviewed. For starters its been reviewed to death and nearly everyone knows about it (everyone being the halo fanboys who pick on its every problem and the CoD fanboys who praise every little bit of greatness). Second their are very few things to pick at. I felt like the gun reloading joke was added on to fill up the video for a little while and you didn't realise that everygame has long reload times for the big guns.

So what I'm saying to yatzee (as if he bothers reading through this crap but atleast I can feel like I'm doing some good in the world) is to not bother doing what random people on the internet preasure you into doing. Chose something that you want to do and that you will be able to make a funny video of. And yes I do realise that the last sentance is preasureing him into doing something BUT SHUT UP.

Love for a game *and* funny with minimal wanking imagery?! Yahtzee you ol' softy, you're on a roll! Keep up the good work! :)

/S

Wow. I may have to try out this game after all. Good to see that they don't make every situation out to be patriotic.

I find it funny Yahtzee gets narked on because he makes a couple statements about the American characters, but I'm not seeing anyone work themselves up into a seething bile of hatred because of his remarks about the Russians, Iraqis or Brits.

:P

Hey does anyone have a YouTube link, I can't watch it because my PC has no sound and so I have to use my PS3.

Review football manager!

Another marvellous review! And another good selection of music as usual! *claps*

I loved the review...But I think the ending is perfect...It echos all of the anti war setiments dropped into the games that even if you get the job done u can breath your last breath unloved and so far away from home when you thought you were safe

Redpill357:
Man, I'd almost forgotten the quotes on the game over screen, some of those are pure gold.

As for the review:
Why no mention of the bit where you control the cannons of a gunship?
"Ka-boom..."

But yeah, I got CoD4 for the multiplayer and was happily surprised by a good singleplayer campaign. Unlike a certain Unreal game I know...

Great work!

You should really consider saying something about the online gameplay. It is a huge incentive for FPS fans seeing that multiplayer is the only thing persuading us to buy it instead of just renting it.

FireDaemon:

CoD4 shouldn't have been reviewed. For starters its been reviewed to death and nearly everyone knows about it (everyone being the halo fanboys who pick on its every problem and the CoD fanboys who praise every little bit of greatness).

I disagree, it was good he reviewed it, this is why I started watching Zero Punctuation in the first place, because he is a critical curmudgeon with high standards.

Even though I generally don't like mainstream gaming culture, I suspected that there had to be SOMETHING good about a game that was loved by so many and won so many awards. However, whenever I read reviews it was as usual only about the goddamn shiny graphics, the Frames Per Second, how good it was compared to earlier games in the series, and how awesome all the pew pew pew stuff was. No mentioning of any possible gameplay flaws, no mention of whether it had any plot to speak of, something that made me suspect that it was in fact reviewed by the fanboys you mentioned earlier. Also I suspected that it would be full of flag-waving and "war is so totally cool" attitudes, something that turns me off any game or movie no matter how good it is otherwise.

Yahtzee got straight to the point of all these things, and amused me in the meantime. I may actually buy this game after all, I will at least give the demo a (second, honest,) try. This even got me over the smoldering resentment I had over the hatchet job he did of the Witcher review. ;)

not played it yet not my gametype but its in my cue list.

As for his comments over the army people...he's making humor people you don't have to dissect every lil comment.

conqueror Kenny:
:(am i the only person in the wold that doesnt like this game

Yes, you are :)

One thing could have been improved however. The short image where you see that line, comparing the greatness of CoD 4 to Jesus and Portal, I think that instead of "CoD4-Portal-Jesus" it should have been "CoD4-Jesus-Portal", I thought that that would have been funnier.

nilpferdkoenig:

conqueror Kenny:
:(am i the only person in the wold that doesnt like this game

Yes, you are :)

One thing could have been improved however. The short image where you see that line, comparing the greatness of CoD 4 to Jesus and Portal, I think that instead of "CoD4-Portal-Jesus" it should have been "CoD4-Jesus-Portal", I thought that that would have been funnier.

no he's not

Great review, thanks.

the only thing that buggs me about this review is that yatzee dosnt seem to understand that the war in unspecifiedstan is a diversion so the yanks are to busy to help the "good" russians in their little civalwar.

so the game is really about russia and not the middle-east.

liberalfascism:
How surprising that Yahtzee not only imbues this review with his cookie-cutter political diatribe, but also finds the most impressive part of the game to be - shock! - the worst part.

What is his favorite part? The part that has no gameplay! The part that is such a ridiculous, ham-handed, pointless waste of gamer time in the service of pushing a moronic 'message'. We're talking of course about the idiotic 30-second stumble around dying scene, which Zero claims 'made the game good'. How does not being able to do anything make a game good? That was easily the most ridiculous part of this game - talk about hitting someone over the head with a message. Calling this the best part of the game is about as reasonable as complaining about 'jingoism' in a military shooter.

The rest of his review is just his stereotypical insecure America-hating nonsense. The US Marines don't "cock everything up", they actually carry out most of the fight, which is a reflection of reality. And the British don't "fix everything from behind", they engage in sapper missions and clear some paths but otherwise are just doing soldier work like everybody else.

Makes you wonder what plane of reality this guy lives in. Doesn't matter what he plays, he has this preset 'jingoism bad America suck I'm so cynical and cool' mantra that he has to repeat, even when the game doesn't have anything to trigger that tired little rant.

Not everyone likes the same things in games, I'm sure Yahtzee felt this was a refreshing change from the usual nigh-unkillable characters in FPS games, as well as the message which you found so offensive. (although admittedly, anyone who doesn't know that nuclear weapons are generally undesirable and cause long-term harm and damage even to survivors is probably too stupid to own a computer)

Also, 30 seconds, in terms of a whole game, cannot reasonably be described as "a ridiculous, ham-handed, pointless waste of gamer time". Compared to the godawful platformer section in Max Payne where you follow a trail of blood with a looped soundtrack of a baby crying, or indeed, any of the fetch object X from location Y to numpty NPC Z missions in RPGs, it's a miniscule amount of time, vaguely equivalent to a cutscene.

As for the jingoism thing and your spirited defence of your countrymen in the military, maybe the reason I feel these words are hollow bleating, roughly equivalent to the labelling of rational, critical thought about the actions of your government being considered "unpatriotic" is that I'm British too, and we have a long history of Americans coming into a war late, or dragging us into a war, which our leaders allowed through some sense of misguided loyalty or an expectation of some kind of quid pro quo, or blowing us up because of bad intel and twitchy trigger fingers AND THEN ACTING AS IF THEY WON ALL BY THEMSELVES.

The USMC and other branches of the US Armed Forces are no doubt brave and patriotic individuals, but they have been involved in some proper Charlie Foxtrots in the past, with the tendency to approach wars by throwing resources (money, tech, ammunition, young impressionable men and women) at a problem until it disappears. Since the end of WWII, when Britain was damn-near bankrupt, our Armed forces have had to make the best of the resources they have. The SAS are world-renowned amongst the world's special forces for precisely this reason. They also tend to be comparatively quiet individuals, unlike the hoo-rah marines.

People don't dislike America because they're insecure, or because they hate your freedom. There are dozens of good reasons, economic, cultural and political, for which someone might want to see you all perish. I don't, because I know enough Americans to know they aren't all mouth-breathing SUV driving 'tards who love guns and fake tits.

It seems that for the more "political" reviews, everyone pulls out their historian hat and proceeds to lecture the rest of the internet on how stuff really went down. I can't say it's not tempting, but can't we all just hold hands with the triple-****ed hooker, sing Kumbaya and get along?

As long as Yahtzee is an "aussie" with a "british" accent who reviews games with american soldiers in it? Forget it! All the trigger happy guys crawl out of their holes and cry conspiracy! ;)

very funny review for a good game...

now review Final Fantasy

:P

we should all ask Y to review a JRPG, it will probably be very funny =D

Benny Blanco:

People don't dislike America because they're insecure, or because they hate your freedom. There are dozens of good reasons, economic, cultural and political, for which someone might want to see you all perish. I don't, because I know enough Americans to know they aren't all mouth-breathing SUV driving 'tards who love guns and fake tits.

It's possible that while replying to liberalfascism I've made my self look more of a prick than I actually am (wish to appear). Apparently Benny Blanco has better grasp of rhetorics, but I'd like to note that not so many A-haters would like to see USA actually "perish" from the face of the earth. Most even agree that America has a few nice things too *sarcasm*

HuCast:
As long as Yahtzee is an "aussie" with a "british" accent who reviews games with american soldiers in it? Forget it! All the trigger happy guys crawl out of their holes and cry conspiracy! ;)

Hey it's not just some [finger quotes]british accent[/finger quotes], it's quite authentic.

xithrix:

we should all ask Y to review a JRPG, it will probably be very funny =D

You just like to see people getting pissy over trivial matters, don't you?

That review was hilarious Yahtzee is always funny.Next time why dont review Devil May Cry 4?

m_jim:
It seems that for the more "political" reviews, everyone pulls out their historian hat and proceeds to lecture the rest of the internet on how stuff really went down. I can't say it's not tempting, but can't we all just hold hands with the triple-****ed hooker, sing Kumbaya and get along?

Amen.

Also, at the risk of impalement, No More Heroes?

In Reply to xithrix:

And I thought Yatzee made it clear in this review that he doesn't like to be told how to do his job, obviously you didn't listened...

It was better when he reviewed the games he wanted to review, I think that Yatzee was not even happy when he was making this review.

But oh well, people will ignore this post and they will still post what games Yatzee should review till he accepts...

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