Zero Punctuation: Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure

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Yahtzee Croshaw:
My measure of a good adventure game is one that has that puzzle where you stick a piece of paper under a door and poke the key out of the lock

Then you must have loved "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".

Who doesn't?

Yahtzee,

If you like the feeling you get when you've solved an Adventure Game puzzle without consulting GameFaqs, then perhaps you should have made it a little easier to figure out what you're supposed to do in your Chzo Mythos series. I didn't get very far through 5 days until I realized that if I was ever to finish this game in a reasonable amount of time, I would need a walk through. There's a reason nobody can figure out you're supposed to use the salt on the bear and then on the bed or... whatever, you know.

Well, I actually like your games the way they are, honestly, even though I relied fairly heavily on a walk through. You wouldn't want your games to be too simple, either.

lmp:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
My measure of a good adventure game is one that has that puzzle where you stick a piece of paper under a door and poke the key out of the lock

Then you must have loved "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".

This also occurred in Alone In The Dark 2.

But... But... I liked the first Discworld game!

King's Quest was indeed utter gash, though.

cutekittenkyti:
Finally a transcript :D

(although I had trouble with

attempts "are" constantly made

AND

like it was an uppity "bat"

idk if those are right

"Long ago in the mists of time, when main characters didn't need to have biceps bigger then their faces, and when bump mapping was just something cartographers did to their wives. There lived adventure games. This shy thoughtful tribe was known for its great story telling tradition and ruled the great PC gaming plains for many years before mysteriously dying out around the onset of the Quake era. Some blame the aggressive expansion of neighboring first person shooter tribes. But personally I think it's more to do with the fact that most of them were shit.

Most of your average adventure gaming experience was spent carting a truckload of miscellaneous knick knacks around, patiently rubbing them all one by one against everything else in the hope of hoping on to the train of logic unique to the game's designer. For every decent adventure game, like Monkey Island or Grim Fandango, there were five excess baggage fests driven by moon logic. Funnily enough all designed by Roberta Williams. So the genre popped its unintuitive clogs.

Not that adventure game fans have ever been able to accept that. Attempts are constantly made to revive the genre by jumping on its gas bloated stomach. But this rarely causes more then a feeble squirt of pungent fluids from one of the less wholesome orifices. Now it's Capcom's turn to take a whole hearted two footed bounce on that poor defiled body with Zack and Wiki, an adventure game for the Wii, featuring Western style point and click controls and inventory puzzles. But that's where the internationalism ends. If you find the Japanese offensive, then you'll find this game offensively Japanese. The main characters are a brash youth with no voice and stupid hair and his aggressively cute monkey friend, voiced by some painfully shrill harpy thing. And the antagonist is a hot angry girl in a mini skirt. Now all it needs to do is dispense used panties and oppress the Chinese.

Another thing this game doesn't have in common with nineties western adventures is a connecting story line or indeed much of a story at all. Wack and Ziki uses a mission based format, breaking the adventure game play into manageable bite sized chunks. Plunking down a couple of obstacles between you and a treasure chest, and leaning back folding its arms waiting to see what you do next. And this is the point where the game shines, because the point where you figure out that your supposed to put the key in the door or perturb the angry sloth with the freighting large dildo creates the same smug cock "oh look at me, I didn't have to consult game facts" good feeling that I've always liked about adventure games. And the fact that there are only a handful of inventory items that you use repeatedly rather then a billion each with one "UND PRECISELY VON" application removes one of the major things I don't like about adventure games.

But then of course Zim and Spacky breaks the cardinal sin by making it possible to die, Not just a result of insistently clicking on a grizzly bear six times, often without warning, as a consequence of simple curiosity or in some in some cases just letting your mind wander for a few seconds too long. And if you do die, you have to go buggering right back to the start of the mission. Meaning you'll have to repeat all the spastic wiimote flailing you've had to do to get to where you were.
Which links me neatly to my next paragraph. Once again the Wii proves its self some kind of patron deity of gimmicky pointless bullshit. Every time you use a tool or item you have to make an equivalent gesture with the wiimote, but half the time the movement of the onscreen tool bears only rudimentary similarities to the gesture your expected to make. The one that sticks out in my mind is when I was expected to turn a big horizontal wheel, and none movements that seemed obvious cause the damn thing to budge an inch. So I ended up randomly waving the wiimote around like it was an uppity bat trying to find out through trial and error which of the many possible movements the game was thinking of.

I would say that I would prefer the game to not showcase the Wii's exotic abilities, but I'm pretty sure that was the whole idea. Come to think of it, Wank and Sticky is a game with a lot of needless attachments, like the fact that you can buy hints (totally useless while the internet still exists). Or the practice of awarding points based on how quickly you solve puzzles, which I frequently took personally. But if you complain about unnecessary additions, you're just being a tosser. It's like complaining about, say, a perfectly good hotdog because the vender is the Boston Strangler. You can still enjoy the hotdog and just try not to make eye contact. And overall I enjoyed Zack and Wiki. It's fun, and original, and has a lot of charm, as long as you can tolerate a slightly childish tone. Which on reflection, you probally could if you're an average Wii owner because statistically your eight years old.

Oh yes, and some people might find the characters pseudo verbal grunts and squeaks a bit annoying after the first few hundred times. I didn't but my roommate said it was like have his ear canals raped by a man wearing a sandpaper condom. Not in those exact words obviously..."

I know the name is Zero Punctuation, but you need to review the punctuation section in your grammar book.

Also, it's Gamefaqs, not game facts. Gamefaqs is a website, gamefaqs.com. Like FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions. But they have walkthroughs, too! :)

cutekittenkyti:
oh and i wrote my transcript in 15 min :P
so forgive if dere are any errors O_O

I might go transcript the other ones O.o

Or are they online somewhere????

Oh, how many of these have you done? dere went 2 mny errors thet i notisd.

Ok, I'm being mean. It could have been worse. By the way, are you implying people can't understand Yahtzee? How dare you?!

wack and stiki!!! hahaha wow

Your reviews are FUCKING hilarious! You summarized my annoyance without punctuation Hehe!

http://hairyashell.blogspot.com/2008/03/good-buffet-but-bad-aftertaste.html

love it, although the imigary associated with being raped through hte inside of an ear by a sandpaper coated cock wasnt all too good(hilarious though, this is one of the few things that makes me laugh out loud)

Never heard of this game.

Glad you found it okay? o.O;

One thing about Yahtzee's games (which i played all of and beat in order) that i missed about games like maniac mansion was the use of useless items in different places to generate unique quotes from the character. Sometimes I am not all about just getting to the end of a game so i can see what easter eggs where dropped in. By the way I did enjoy the 5,7,6 games.

Cara6190:
There's a reason nobody can figure out you're supposed to use the salt on the bear and then on the bed or... whatever, you know.

I'm fairly certain that there was a book in the library that described the process in detail. That puzzle was totally logical, with the information we were given.

As for Zack and Wiki...I dunno, I guess I prefer adventure games with more plot and less cheap deaths - but it certainly felt rewarding when I finally got the little bastards through each puzzle.

Why the hell would he review rockband? It's like reviewing Guitar Hero 3 again, unless there is a distinct difference in the other instruments or the singing, it's just gonna be like his guitar hero review, just replace guitar with whatever other instrument.

Huh, I really wouldn't have taken the Wii as a console for adventure games, but I'll have to try this one out if it gets the Thumbs-Upish from Yahtzee.

i love the "smug" animation :P

ElArabDeMagnifico:
Why the hell would he review rockband? It's like reviewing Guitar Hero 3 again, unless there is a distinct difference in the other instruments or the singing, it's just gonna be like his guitar hero review, just replace guitar with whatever other instrument.

Except that
(a) its by Harmonix, who have shown that they do not fuck up character designs
(b) its got a better setlist
(c) it doesn't make you complete them in order of hardness, it mixes it up a little
(d) Its got a Sydney Level and a London Level (+50000 Bonus points)
(e) It actually does take musical talent to play
(f) It actually improves your musical ability (Drums anyone)
(g) the guitar actually looks like a shrunken version of the real thing, not a retarded piece of plastic
(h)Its got character customization that actually manages to work.
(i) It has a more diverse songlist
(j) It contains no whores

Fantastic review, nice to see you do more Wii games. Looking forward to Brawl (Like the rest of the world) and Rock Band. You get two thumbs up for LOOM (Which is god) along with Monkey Island.

Darn it somebody beat me to bring up Loom.
("I'm Bobbin Threadbare. Are you my mother?" -Guybrush Threepwood)

Anyways, what about all the innovative action-adventure games which nobody bought like Psychonauts or Beyond Good and Evil. As for Graphic Adventure Games, the new adventures of Sam and Max are pretty spiffy.

I don't think the genre is dead. I think it is worse than dead; it is unprofitable. The big knock ever since Quake has been the lack of replay value these games have had. It is the reason why Lucas Arts is now nothing more than an organ to perpetuate the popularity of a mediocre sci-fi brand. Well, that and to make boatloads of money. (Well, okay maybe KOTOR was the best RPG since FO2.)

Phantasmagoria was bad and I did hate the other Sierra GAG's.

Do note that KOTOR was done by Bioware (Then that other company for the second game), I don't think lucasarts did much more then lend Bioware their cash cow.

For the uninitiated: 'Newspaper under door to get key' is the mother of all adventuring clichés. It was a joke.

Xenoveritas:
It's been out in the US for over a month as Apollo Justice Ace Attorney.

I stand corrected. It's not yet available in the old world anyway as far as I'm aware.

I think the fact that saying stupid things in court can make you lose the case adds an appropriate level of tension and with the 'health bar' there doesn't frequently result in immediate doom. The logic of the game is usually sound. It's only when you're trying to express the correct idea but are unable to find the way the game expects you to do it that it occasionally falls apart.

... but this is a common problem in adventure games.

As for Apollo Justice, I guess I'll have to see how it stacks up myself after I finish playing Trials and Tribulations.

I always like whe I get to do that. I think he was being serious. There is a difference between a cliche and a staple.

As to a good adventure game where one has that puzzle where you stick a piece of paper under a door and poke the key out of the lock...

There is one I fondly remember through rose tinted glasses. Who remembers: Hugo's House of Horrors 2 (Yes, two) AKA "Whodunit?"

OK gamers.....Ill make this simple.....

Wii = Trix.....its for kids

XBOX = PC....Build a PC and run the games better

PS3 = FTW....Nuff Said

A bit of a late response, but I personally think that as a games machine, the PS3 is a crock of faecal matter. You know what the Cell processor was made for? Scientific computing. Have fun "playing" Folding@Home on a machine which can't even emulate all PS2 games as well as a PC.

The graphics card is a generation old (my 8800 GTS would annihilate the 7800 GTX-derived chipset in the PS3), it lacks RAM compared to modern gaming PCs, so you can't even use it for Linux as well as you could a half-decent modern PC, the game support is decidedly limited for the price you pay for the actual machine (especially when you consider a gaming PC which has a potentially twenty- to twenty-five-year back catalogue).

So, what do I think the PS3 is good for? The aforementioned scientific computing (some people use PS3 consoles in building small-scale supercomputers) and the movie support (I grudgingly accept Blu-ray's win in the "next-gen" media market). Oh, and I think it makes a damned good paperweight. :-)

Of course, the Xbox 360 gets trumped by the PS3 in specs, so I'm asking myself - is this machine holding back the graphics on the likes of Call of Duty 4? I mean, my PC's graphics card never gave so much as a gasp of overburden, and I don't want that from a brand-new game!

(In case you haven't guessed, I'm one of those insufferable PC gamers, with a large regard for the Wii.)

Kongatron:

Uszi:
Podcasts are fairly useless, IMO.

Und why would that be?
I personally don't find the easiest way to have ZP reviews on your iPod useless, but hey, if you'd care to make some points, I'd be happy to listen.

Huh?
After rethinking my opinion I realized that I am one of the few people I know who leaves their iPod in the car when it isn't updating. I suppose if you always had your iPod on you, and you were craving some Yahtzee in your life, it would be worthwhile.

Personally, I don't know that I would have both my iPod on me and a craving for ZP at the same time.

I also was never really into pod casts--I subscribed to Ask a Ninja and Happy Tree Friends, but then I only really watched them on my computer, and only watched each one a piece.

So I guess I should qualify my opinion: If you like podcasts, and carry your iPod around a lot, then I guess it would be cool. How many people do though?

RAKtheUndead:

OK gamers.....Ill make this simple.....

Wii = Trix.....its for kids

XBOX = PC....Build a PC and run the games better

PS3 = FTW....Nuff Said

A bit of a late response, but I personally think that as a games machine, the PS3 is a crock of faecal matter. You know what the Cell processor was made for? Scientific computing. Have fun "playing" Folding@Home on a machine which can't even emulate all PS2 games as well as a PC.

The graphics card is a generation old (my 8800 GTS would annihilate the 7800 GTX-derived chipset in the PS3), it lacks RAM compared to modern gaming PCs, so you can't even use it for Linux as well as you could a half-decent modern PC, the game support is decidedly limited for the price you pay for the actual machine (especially when you consider a gaming PC which has a potentially twenty- to twenty-five-year back catalogue).

So, what do I think the PS3 is good for? The aforementioned scientific computing (some people use PS3 consoles in building small-scale supercomputers) and the movie support (I grudgingly accept Blu-ray's win in the "next-gen" media market). Oh, and I think it makes a damned good paperweight. :-)

Of course, the Xbox 360 gets trumped by the PS3 in specs, so I'm asking myself - is this machine holding back the graphics on the likes of Call of Duty 4? I mean, my PC's graphics card never gave so much as a gasp of overburden, and I don't want that from a brand-new game!

(In case you haven't guessed, I'm one of those insufferable PC gamers, with a large regard for the Wii.)

Wait...you're saying that the thing is bad for actually benefiting mankind by working on curing diseases? (at the moment Alzheimer's and other forms of mental health breakdown) Dude, seriously. This I really do not get, how a person can be so callous as to think that curing disease is a bad thing.

Uszi:

Kongatron:

Uszi:
Podcasts are fairly useless, IMO.

Und why would that be?
I personally don't find the easiest way to have ZP reviews on your iPod useless, but hey, if you'd care to make some points, I'd be happy to listen.

Huh?
After rethinking my opinion I realized that I am one of the few people I know who leaves their iPod in the car when it isn't updating. I suppose if you always had your iPod on you, and you were craving some Yahtzee in your life, it would be worthwhile.

Personally, I don't know that I would have both my iPod on me and a craving for ZP at the same time.

I also was never really into pod casts--I subscribed to Ask a Ninja and Happy Tree Friends, but then I only really watched them on my computer, and only watched each one a piece.

So I guess I should qualify my opinion: If you like podcasts, and carry your iPod around a lot, then I guess it would be cool. How many people do though?

How many people like Podcasts? well, lets check how popular the concept is becoming. If no-one did, it would be at a point of decline. But no, its at a point of growth, still. So the answer would be, quite a lot.

And how may people carry their Mp3 with them a lot? I'd say, all of us. Thats what it was made for, genius, portable high volume of data in a playable form. You should probably stick with C.D.s if you leave it in the car.

So the market for this would be pretty huge.

The puzzle he was referring to at the end was from Broken Sword III: Sleeping Dragon... if anyone's wondering.

How many people like Podcasts? well, lets check how popular the concept is becoming. If no-one did, it would be at a point of decline. But no, its at a point of growth, still. So the answer would be, quite a lot.

And how may people carry their Mp3 with them a lot? I'd say, all of us. Thats what it was made for, genius, portable high volume of data in a playable form. You should probably stick with C.D.s if you leave it in the car.

So the market for this would be pretty huge.

Not at all. They're presumably cheap, if not free to make, and provide cheap or free advertising. If you put an advert on youtube you may only get 10 hits in a year, and maybe only one bought the product, but as it cost you zilch to upload the video advert on there, it was worth it to a degree.

I for one don't know a single person who listens to podcasts.

Indigo_Dingo:

And how may people carry their Mp3 with them a lot? I'd say, all of us. Thats what it was made for, genius, portable high volume of data in a playable form.

And I'd say I can think of a lot of people who only use it when they are going for a jog, walking to class, or driving in the car. In those cases, many of those people specifically want to listen to music for those activities. In that sense, I'd disagree: definitely not all of you carry it around all the time. Unless things are different in Australia.

Or one thing I had in mind when I made my original post:
If you want an uncomfortable experience, then put in your ear-buds and listen to something funny in a public place. If you're walking down the street, laughing historically at say, Mitch Hedberg, everyone else will give you a very strange, uncomfortable look, questioning your sanity.
So I know that I, and many other people, usually save funny material for when you're by yourself or in the company of some friends.

You should probably stick with C.D.s if you leave it in the car.

Cheaper, less work, easier to organize if I forgo CDs.

So the market for this would be pretty huge.

As huge as there are ZP fans who have portable devices who would want to carry ZP around with them all the time.

*walks off in a huff*
no one liked my transcript D:

....
jk

ok ok I admit i made mistakes :P
I didn't use common sense in some situations and I DO know what GameFAQs are, I've just never heard it pronounced that way...
I hole out in my room too much...

and plus I made that transcript in like 15 min...

And yes sometimes I can't understand Yahtzee because
A.) I have a Mid western accent thicker then a Cheesehead
B.) In case you haven't noticed Yahtzee talks fast
C.) People who are not native english speakers, but can read english (like one of my best online friends) Can barely understand Yahtzee and so miss out on the whole expierience.

Hence why I wanted to make a transcript...
and the spat through a spanish translator thing...

Planeforger:

As for Zack and Wiki...I dunno, I guess I prefer adventure games with more plot and less cheap deaths - but it certainly felt rewarding when I finally got the little bastards through each puzzle.

The multitudinous ways to die in Zack & Wiki don't really matter too much, because the individual stages are so short, you never actually lose very much progress.

Zack and Wiki? ...never heard of it. Meh.

Nah, cutekittenkyti, your transcript was good, but in need of edits.

cutekittenkyti:
I DO know what GameFAQs are, I've just never heard it pronounced that way...

I seriously doubt Yahtzee says it like that normally, he pronounces things weird for comic effect sometimes. (See The Witcher: "This is a MUMORPUGER!")

Tex Murphy: Under a Killing Moon! Yes! I remember that game with much love. The first time I played it I was simply blown away by the multimedia. The levels were like a new world.. felt very free. It was the second adventure game I played, second to Police Quest 4: Open Season. I miss some games like that. I also really liked the Gabriel Knight series..

LOL'd at the UND PRECICELY VON comment. So true in some of those games.

Ahh.. nostalgia. Would like to see a new contender that really fits in atmosphere and mixes puzzles with action.. but it seems like these days we really can't get that in one game. We have MMORPGs with stats and quests, first person shooters with a bunch of action, and 3rd person shooters with atmosphere and action, but not as much in the puzzle sense. (Max Payne 2 was great in that respect.)

Guess it's just a hard genre.

PS -- Love your work Yahtzee. Keep it coming!

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