Zero Punctuation: Army of Two

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I felt like there was something missing from this video, there was a part in the middle that didn't piece together so well and it feels like Yahtzee forgot to mention the weapon pimpage forst time around and later squeezed it in before his summary/conclusion after having cut the video together already. That sequence was just too short and felt out of place.

However the majority of this video was fantastic.

I do want to get Army of Two but not for the hundred bucks it's launched at, especially when I'm still trying to finish Bully, only just bought Oblivion, am obsessively trying to unlock everything in Beautiful Katamari and still regularly play Halo 3 online.

Another great show.
Thanks, Yahtzee! This almost good enough for me to stop sending you bomb letters.

Kermi:
I felt like there was something missing from this video, there was a part in the middle that didn't piece together so well and it feels like Yahtzee forgot to mention the weapon pimpage forst time around and later squeezed it in before his summary/conclusion after having cut the video together already. That sequence was just too short and felt out of place.

However the majority of this video was fantastic.

I do want to get Army of Two but not for the hundred bucks it's launched at, especially when I'm still trying to finish Bully, only just bought Oblivion, am obsessively trying to unlock everything in Beautiful Katamari and still regularly play Halo 3 online.

You're an idiot.

Awesome review yahtzee

interesting review,
just felt it was short and below your average performance.

oh yes "army of two" is gay.

Heh, I rented this game and your review is spot on. It sucks.

Warkid1993:
You're an idiot.

Awesome review yahtzee

Well, guess I've been told.

im absolutely stunned he didnt mention Clyde, i mean the gay jokes are practically shot out of a cannon at you. The 2 main guys dont wear gimp masks, but he does i mean seriously its got a freaking zip on it...at least iron masks with manly face paints are slightly less gay?

I came, I saw, I came and I died LOLling...

I'm sorry. I usually love Zero punctuation, but this week's wasn't that good.

Xenon Pretzel:
Unfortunately, this is also the best shooter for PS3 out right now.

Really? You sure?

Uncharted?
Resistance?
Call of Duty?

If Army of Two is better than those three, you have extremely sub-par tastes my friend.

me love yahtzee long time, in a mostly non sexual way......(leaves bait our for gay jokes)

anyways AMAZING review, i was wondering if you were going to play it with a friend or rely on a tard NPC.

that was soooooo gay. In a good way

Does anyone ever actually buy this? Admit you hadn't heard of Yahtzee until today, that's fine. It's doesn't make you somehow better or more hardcore to have loved him from the start. Own your nubness. It doesn't bite.

Believe me, I know the feeling of nubness (Personally I prefer noobness, but then again I can be a stickler when it comes to proper grammar). I remember quite well when I first played a game of halo 2 online and summarily got my ass handed to me by an annoying 12 year old school boy with a glowing pig sticker. Ever since then I have made my best efforts to not let myself be bitten by that retarded, rabid feline ever again.

Personally I'm not surprised that somebody decided to raise a red flag over the edit to my post, I'm just surprised it took so long for somebody to get off their pathetic ass and actually attempt to burn me on it.

But I digress. If you want to actually try and burn me (And believe me, I encourage it) you can write it on a sheet of 2500 grit sand paper and shove up your ass.

For crying out loud, Yahtzee!

Quit whining about how no games are available in Oz and get somebody in the U.S. and/or wherever else to pick them up and mail them to you.

If your console is region locked, you could probably get your keepers at the Escapist to buy you a U.S. model, and any compatible power adapter you require.

Exploit those media credentials you've worked so hard to get and stay well ahead of the release curve. You could probably even get companies like EA to send you all the releases you can eat for free. They just might be dumb enough to believe their suckware will get a good review as a result.

great review

The ever popular Spat through a translator transcipt.
Cette fois, en français.

Je serais le premier pour admettre que dans mes revues, je tends à aller chercher directement les plaisanteries gaies trop. De façon ou d'autre une brûlure devient doublement drôle quand vous impliquez que le sujet l'aime également rugueux des hommes avec les clochards velus. J'avais honnêtement essayé de réduire eux récemment, mais Jésus, regard avec ce que j'ai pour travailler. Deux hommes musculaires inséparables, un grand et grisonnant, l'autre jeune et courageux, fonctionnement autour dans des masques de ganse, frappant en bas de grandes constructions de missile, simplement sexuellement indifférents dans la seule femme de leur connaissance, et en dépit de faire en apparence beaucoup du revenu comme entrepreneurs, ils peuvent seulement se permettre un parachute entre eux, qu'ils sont peu trop des désireux de partager.

OK, j'ai promis de ne pas faire une grande chose de ceci. En outre, les gameplay aiment davantage un recrutement visuel pour se contracter militaire privé qu'une approbation du style de vie flânant. On rappelle rapidement et fréquemment nous à que les militaires sont merde, et ainsi est chacun dans elle, alors que les mercennaires sont des badasses immortels imparables, qui font à des tonnes de plus argent, et comme lui rugueux des hommes avec les clochards velus. Non ! Mauvais Yahtzee ! J'ai voulu dire pour dire, "et vous obtenez de porter les masques géniaux de crâne comme c'est Halloween chaque jour, à moins que ce soit vous donnant hors de la sucrerie, et la sucrerie est des balles."

C'est votre parcelle de terrain militaire actuelle de tireur d'mélanger-et-allumette standard ; vous commencez des bombardiers de suicide de Qaeda d'Al de massacre dans post-9/11 Afghanistan (dans un peu de réalisme graveleux de déchirer-de-le-titres qui tombe sur la frontière d'insipide) et d'ici peu, vous avez passé au reste des sacs de poinçon préférés de l'Amérique : d'abord les Irakiens, puis le Chinois, et finalement leur chiffre de la haine #1, d'autres Américains. Si vous ne voyez pas la parcelle de terrain standard de croix double tordre venir, puis vous probablement aide du besoin s'habillant, mais nous laissez ne pas demeurer là-dessus. Nous ne sommes pas ici pendant le temps d'histoire, les gens ; parlons de toute la violence sexy.

Le point de vente principal, l'une droite là au titre, est que vous êtes aidé par un associé de NPC. Il y a plus à lui que cela, évidemment, parce que s'il n'y avait pas, je devrais tactfully le casser à l'ea qu'ils ont été battus à lui par chaque tireur fait en cinq dernières années foutues. La différence principale est que vous devez tirer les petits leviers dans la tête de votre associé pour lui faire la position de prise, regroupez, avancez, ou celui qui, et au degré de solvabilité du jeu, il est assez intuitif. Il est juste que parfois, salir avec les petits leviers cause quelque chose se casser à l'intérieur de son noggin. Sur un couple des occasions, il a gelé vers le haut et juste s'est tenu là, alors que l'ennemi nous transformait tous les deux en sandwichs à balle-et-hamburger. Et alors il y avait le temps où je me tenais prêt une porte tandis qu'il allait pousser un bouton à travers la salle, et j'appuyais sur accidentellement le bouton pour regrouper, et il finissait vers le haut de courir sans fin de va-et-vient comme un chien de berger avec un morceau de shrapnel dans sa tête.

En fait, il y avait énormément de choses que la QA devrait avoir prises probablement dessus. Après avoir accru fatigué du cerveau insecte-rempli de mon associé de AI, j'ai essayé de jouer l'dédoubler-écran de cage avec un ami. Dans un ordre d'échange de tirs, il y avait une position élevée de holdout que j'ai donnée lui à un poussée jusqu'à en tant qu'élément d'une stratégie adroite de la haut-terre, mais depuis mon ami a eu l'arrangement d'ennui que les balles ennemies étaient quelque chose être évitée, il a été pris vers le bas. Quand ceci se produit, vous fondamentalement ne pouvez pas vous déplacer ou vous lever jusqu'à ce que votre associé vienne pour coller un pied curatif vers le haut de votre cul, mais depuis qu'il n'y avait maintenant personne pour me donner un boosty jusqu'à où il était, tout que je pourrais faire devait sauter à cloche-pied en vain en haut et en bas comme un lapin crâne-fait face jusqu'à ce que son mauvais cas d'idéotie ait prouvé la borne.

Ainsi c'est un jeu de boguet, mais pas sans facteurs compensateurs. Il semble y a une issue avec la courbe de difficulté, du fait il n'y a pas d'une. Jeu de jeu se compose d'une succession linéaire de samey arrêter-vont des cours de jeu d'échange de tirs, et vos caractères peuvent absorber tellement des dommages, vous penseriez qu'ils ont été écrits par Frank Miller ou quelque chose. La santé régénère rapidement, les ennemis sont peu disposés à avancer, et même si vous obtenez pris vers le bas, vous serez A-OK aussi longtemps que votre associé vous arrive plus d'à un certain point par année suivante ou ainsi, qui n'est pas toujours garantie, mais toujours, il me fait la merveille pourquoi elles ont jugé qu'elles ont eu besoin de deux personnes pour ceci.

Je ne sens pas l'armée de deux marques plus de la chose "deux" entière. Tout que vous avez besoin de l'autre type pour distrait l'ennemi ainsi vous pouvez courir vers le haut et tirer leurs fesses au loin, un travail qui pourrait être fait aussi bien par un épouvantail ou un bruit fort. Et même ce n'est jamais vraiment nécessaire, excepté quand ils roulent hors de l'ennemi portant l'armure impénétrable de connerie sur tout excepté son clochard, que je suspecte suis seulement jeté dedans pour donner à l'autre type une raison conçue et fragile d'être là, comme les rebords qui exigent des poussées. Tellement toute cette compagnie doit faire doit attacher quelques feux d'artifice à un stepladder, et ils devront seulement payer un ensemble de salaires.

J'étais plus tôt plaisant ; Je n'obtiens pas vraiment un vibe gai de M. et de Mme Skeletor. Ils me rappellent davantage une paire de huit-année-vieux garçons, courant autour de la cour de récréation, donnant un coup de pied des filles dans les tibias. L'option existe pour être souteneur hors de vos pistolets avec les travaux géniaux et bling de peinture, et si cette idée fait appel à vous, alors l'élasticité vous-même une douche gentille d'eau de mer, parce que vous êtes officiellement une chatte. Elle est un peu visqueuse simplement pour combiner l'imagination juvénile de puissance avec la politique réelle, mais je ne veux pas battre l'armée de deux avec cela, quand il y a mauvaise conception parfaitement bonne de jeu que je pourrais la battre avec. Elle est réitérée, et cassé, et rien que vous n'avez pas vu avant. Si vous pouvez jouer des vitesses de guerre avec une main et cellule d'éclat avec l'autre, alors vous ne devez pas jouer l'armée de deux. Et vous assurez vous film il, parce que c'est un joli talent impressionnant que vous avez là.

Holy...ur so good at making games, even things i wouldnt notice, look so funny! Seriously, ur the funniest game reviewer i ever seen! Or ever been (thank god lol) I really appreciate what u do to enertain us, and do such a well good job. Especially doing a good voice review, makes it worth watching when u try to make it sound bad XD Keep doing ur thing!

curseoroyal:
I wonder who's going to be the first to attempt to You Tube themselves playing Gears of War and Splinter Cell at the same time... XD

well its not exactly GoW and splinter cell but either way its youtube watch?v=M00rvmfWOGc

Is it me or does the hatred of racism whilst repeatedly making gay jokes seem just a tad...well... hypocritical?

:) now thats my kind of review.. freaking awesome!

thatoneguylol:

curseoroyal:
I wonder who's going to be the first to attempt to You Tube themselves playing Gears of War and Splinter Cell at the same time... XD

well its not exactly GoW and splinter cell but either way its youtube watch?v=M00rvmfWOGc

Believe it or not there *IS* actually a video of someone playing Splinter Cell and GoW at the same time. And it's re-freaking-diculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Go now.

Crap_haT:
Anybody else laugh at "BAD YAHTZEE." I had a hole new set of shits and giggles.

ROFLMAO!!! That was my favorite part of the review!

"NO! Bad Yahtzee!!!!" *smack*

Too bad nobody seems to have any of the REALLY gay footage from the early cuts of the game and the preview builds. I'm led to believe it was even more homoerotic around the time I first heard about it. Something about one guy basically humping the other's face when receiving a boost. That's the sort of thing that screams for YouTube-ification. I think resuscitation used to be a somewhat embarrassing mini-game too, but don't quote me on that. If I knew where I'd left that magazine back issue, I'd have more details.

On the video, not terrible, but clearly not the top of his game. Seemed a little disjointed and not as thematically sound as his best reviews. Then again, how can I possibly fault anybody for not putting their greatest effort into Army of Two? That's like complaining that the Canadian International Curling Team really phoned it in against Barbados at the Midwinter Pan-American Scrimmage, or wherever it is curlers go to practice.

Quiotu:

Xenon Pretzel:
Unfortunately, this is also the best shooter for PS3 out right now.

Really? You sure?

Uncharted?
Resistance?
Call of Duty?

If Army of Two is better than those three, you have extremely sub-par tastes my friend.

I think we should qualify that this is the best fps on the ps3 that involves two psycopathic males running around shooting people they don't know and have no issue with for personal gain, with obvious homosexual undertones. Eat your heart out Kane and Lynch!

Uszi:

thatoneguylol:

curseoroyal:
I wonder who's going to be the first to attempt to You Tube themselves playing Gears of War and Splinter Cell at the same time... XD

well its not exactly GoW and splinter cell but either way its youtube watch?v=M00rvmfWOGc

Believe it or not there *IS* actually a video of someone playing Splinter Cell and GoW at the same time. And it's re-freaking-diculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Go now.

Next challenge - play God of War II with one hand and Heavenly Sword with the other. The puzzles alone will kill you.

The_root_of_all_evil:
Is it me or does the hatred of racism whilst repeatedly making gay jokes seem just a tad...well... hypocritical?

I just thought that praising a game like Resident Evil 5 for its use of racism while saying that Uncharted is a cavalclade of mediocrity set in a world where all races are set against the Caucasians was hypocritical.

But yeah, apparently now its as ok to be prejudiced towards homosexuals as it was to be racist in the 50's. People are callling gay the new black.

jejeje it was a good review... but the game is not that bad... and in the game they do the air guitar thing whit the guns that is cool

Not LoL HaHa funny, but very good none the less. Another great review.

pretty good as always and i agree about the whole "pimped" thing but overall i enjoyed army of two and while i know yahtzee is suposed to beat games to death but playing army of two by yourself is not exactly the point and mentioning the co-op almost passivley is kinda like trying to sell a hybrid without talking about gas mileage. i liked the review and no real complaints i just kinda wish we encouraged co-op play with all the boring games being sold on deathmatch potential like halo 2.

Yahtzee has been on a roll man, this one was just right on the money, even without the gay jokes (most of them.)

Ravenstien:
Hilarious and top-notch once again, although I didn't see many gay references when I played it!
The high-ground problem does occur a few times, it happened to me and my friend about twice, but I wouldn't call it a bug, it's just something that can happen. If they were to 'fix' it, then they'd have to re-do the whole injury thing.
Bad Yahtzee!!!

Yahtzee said he actually didn't get much of a gay vibe from the game--he was joking. He said toward the end.

Balks:

Believe me, I know the feeling of nubness (Personally I prefer noobness, but then again I can be a stickler when it comes to proper grammar). I remember quite well when I first played a game of halo 2 online and summarily got my ass handed to me by an annoying 12 year old school boy with a glowing pig sticker. Ever since then I have made my best efforts to not let myself be bitten by that retarded, rabid feline ever again.

Personally I'm not surprised that somebody decided to raise a red flag over the edit to my post, I'm just surprised it took so long for somebody to get off their pathetic ass and actually attempt to burn me on it.

But I digress. If you want to actually try and burn me (And believe me, I encourage it) you can write it on a sheet of 2500 grit sand paper and shove up your ass.

Trying to be a tough guy on the internet already makes you more of a loser than anyone could hope to make you seem. Way to go.

Uszi:

Believe it or not there *IS* actually a video of someone playing Splinter Cell and GoW at the same time. And it's re-freaking-diculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Go now.

You are a bad man... a very bad man.

Dyselon:
Yahtzee points out the poor QA in this video, but it's probably not a tester's fault. With very few exceptions, if there's a bug in a game, QA found it and bugged it, and then it got closed as acceptable.

Hear, hear! Or put off for some sort of patch because they don't have time to do the regression testing before the ship deadline.

m_jim:

Uszi:

Believe it or not there *IS* actually a video of someone playing Splinter Cell and GoW at the same time. And it's re-freaking-diculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Go now.

You are a bad man... a very bad man.

I think we all should have seen it coming when Yahtzee asked for links to videos.
I certainly thought I was done for when I went to that first video without thinking.

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