Zero Punctuation: Army of Two

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Awesome episode. Your never patchy. But actually release it on Wednesday next time. I usually am up to like 3 and it is still not up.

trlkly:
FYI: It's now considered bad to even refer to a mentally challenged person as a retard. It's almost as if the definition of retard has changed to simply be a more intense form of stupid. And it is never cool to insult someone's infirmity.

Tell that to the kids I went to school with.

And if you don't want to hear my sob stories about what I went through during school, go to another site.

jezz8me:
Awesome episode. Your never patchy. But actually release it on Wednesday next time. I usually am up to like 3 and it is still not up.

It means wednesday for America, which is our thursday.

How can people say this wasn't funny? All of his reviews are funny! :(

I reckon next week he'll review Chains of Olympus, just so he can show himself kicking Kratos out of the way to get to the hot threesome action.

BRILLIANT!!!!!

CRAWSHAW IS BACK TO HIS BEST!!!!!!!!

AWESOME REVIEW!

When was he not this good?

If I had to change one thing about this, I would make the ending music Iron Maidens The Mercenary instead of Queens You're My Best Friend, cause Awesome beats out funny every time.

BOOSTIES!!!

God just right a book on this stuff yahtzee
we must buyz itz now

*obsessed twitch* *grabbing motion*

Just to clarify: I have no problem with Yahtzee, I find him funny and smart and enjoyable and if I were really offended, believe me, you would have heard about it by now. Take a look at my post history if you have any doubts on that.

I am just noting, for the record, that the routine, perjorative use by people in general, regardless if it is "just a joke" or not, of words like "fag," "gay," "-tard," and "cunt" is part of a larger cultural thing, to use the technical term, that tends to make life suck for people who happen to be gay, developmentally disabled, or female.

That said, Yahtzee, don't change a thing.

And that said--you, M45TeR_CH13F or whatever your gamertag is, are not Yahtzee, so maybe you want to put down the controller and grab a thesaurus and find something other than "gay" to spew ad nauseum into your headset. Either that or keep the secondary asshole you've got growing in the middle of your face shut, because if it's something you wouldn't to my gay bitch cunt face, maybe you shouldn't say it at all.

Also, anyone who loves Yahtzee would probably really enjoy Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About.

"Nothing keeps a relationship on its toes so much as lively debate. Fortunate, then, that my girlfriend and I agree on absolutely nothing. At all.

Combine utter, polar disagreement on everything, ever, with the fact that I am a text-book Only Child, and she is a violent psychopath, and we're warming up. Then factor in my being English while she is German, which not only makes each one of us personally and absolutely responsible for the history, and the social and cultural mores of our respective countries, but also opens up a whole field of sub-arguments grounded in grammatical and semantic disputes and, well, just try saying anything and walking away."

The best review in a long time, dude.

By the way Yahtzee, you're an evil sod. I was singing "Two Little Boys" all day today.

Gay game ^_^ and it makes us Americans look like we are the assholes of the world, which we pretty much are lmao

Uszi:
Second, I don't find it to be a hypocrisy at all, since the gay jokes were of the form, "These two gentlemen seem on first impression to be gay lovers," and NOT of the form, "These guys are stupid and therefore gay." It is politically correct to watch two guys make-out on a bench, then turn to your friend and say, "That is really gay." It is NOT politically correct to see someone dance a jig, and tell that person, "You're dance was gay."

This is a pretty weak argument, because if it were really a matter of neutrally observing, you wouldn't really call them jokes. If "these two gentlemen seem on first impression to be gay lovers" is supposed to be a punchline, that implies there's something inherently funny about being gay. Horribly offensive? Hardly. But it's a far cry from "politically correct," either.

That said, Yahtzee clearly isn't a homophobe, and these jokes are funny mainly because the game developers (I assume, not having played the game) were aiming to make the main characters as butch as possible, yet inadvertently wrote homoerotic subtext into it. 'Scool by me.

Furthermore, giggling over unintended gay subtext and objecting to deliberately shooting Arabs doesn't seem that hypocritical at all to me. They're on different levels altogether.

WoOtIn87:
Gay game ^_^ and it makes us Americans look like we are the assholes of the world

I think Vietnam did that.

Conqueso:

Furthermore, giggling over unintended gay subtext and objecting to deliberately shooting Arabs doesn't seem that hypocritical at all to me. They're on different levels altogether.

In what way? Both imply a prejudice based on false views. The former defends it whilst the latter rejects it. That would seem to imply a hypocritical standpoint.

I hardly think Jerry Seinfield would enjoy being portrayed as a gun-toting terrorist in the same way that Sir Ian Mckellan would enjoy being described as a man who likes it rough from men with hairy bums. Although, knowing his sense of humour...

Yahtzee actually touches on the subject himself "We're quickly reminded that the Military is shit, whilst Mercenaries are unstoppable immortal bad asses."

"...Each had a wooden horse...gaily they played, each summer's day..."

Just a little step down from the soapbox if you're going to use the subject of a rant as the focus of a joke please. :)

made me laugh at "No, BAD YAHTZEE!"

So... thankyou :)

i wonder if Yahtzee has look foward to any upcoming game release what so ever.

The_newfagg:
i wonder if Yahtzee has look foward to any to any upcoming game release what so ever.

The Half Life Series and the Silent Hill series.

funny as hell
gota b one of the funnyist

I was kind of dissapointed in this review. It was shorter than usual, and I wanted some more humor. IT wasn't bad, I've just seen a LOT better work done (like the Guitar Hero review).

Oh, and on all the drama regarding political correctness, I still to this day think it's futile to argue it. Everybody gets offended by something, and if we tiptoe around the glass all the time, you'll eventually step on some. What I don't understand is why it is ok to make humor directed at some group of people, yet is terrible to make fun of some.

What I respect about Yahtzee as a person is this: He doesn't try to make all of the people happy all of the time, which is what way too many people are trying to do these days.

Blah... I ranted, and now looked like both a Yahtzee fanboy and an idiot for arguing on the internet. Le BLah. X_X

Conqueso:

Uszi:
Second, I don't find it to be a hypocrisy at all, since the gay jokes were of the form, "These two gentlemen seem on first impression to be gay lovers," and NOT of the form, "These guys are stupid and therefore gay." It is politically correct to watch two guys make-out on a bench, then turn to your friend and say, "That is really gay." It is NOT politically correct to see someone dance a jig, and tell that person, "You're dance was gay."

This is a pretty weak argument, because if it were really a matter of neutrally observing, you wouldn't really call them jokes. If "these two gentlemen seem on first impression to be gay lovers" is supposed to be a punchline, that implies there's something inherently funny about being gay. Horribly offensive? Hardly. But it's a far cry from "politically correct," either.

That said, Yahtzee clearly isn't a homophobe, and these jokes are funny mainly because the game developers (I assume, not having played the game) were aiming to make the main characters as butch as possible, yet inadvertently wrote homoerotic subtext into it. 'Scool by me.

Furthermore, giggling over unintended gay subtext and objecting to deliberately shooting Arabs doesn't seem that hypocritical at all to me. They're on different levels altogether.

Heh. I don't think I meant for my post to be read like that... I think I switched from the subject of 'gay' in the context of jokes to the subject of 'gay' in the context of all speech, but didn't give any indication of what I meant to say.
Interesting read into it. I'll word things more carefully. ^.^

But otherwise I think I agree with precisely every one of your points.

Especially the irony in making Manly-men characters inadvertently gay. I think the humor of the joke lies wholly in the irony of the situation, rather than in the homosexuality of it. We laugh at the developers, perhaps the characters, but not the gay community.

You have to watch it like 5 times to get in all the jokes because you are laughing your ass off from the first couple

I think all this discussion about sexism is just what Yahtzee wants. He wants to cause controversy, cause its likely to make him more well known. I doubt he would believe it himself, though.

Indigo_Dingo:
I think all this discussion about sexism is just what Yahtzee wants. He wants to cause controversy, cause its likely to make him more well known. I doubt he would believe it himself, though.

I somehow doubt that Yahtzee is doing anything more than getting in a little extra eye-rolling practice over this thread, if in fact he has taken any notice of it at all. Personally, I think he's starting to get a little nervous about the nature of his fanbase. (Poor DreamerM, he mentioned her again, this time in a podcast! DreamerM, you took his Creepy Fan virginity. There will be more, but you will always be the first. You should be proud.)

This thread will serve to assure him that we are easily distracted, so that if he gets cornered again, he can ask something like, "So, what's your opinion on the acceptability of homophobia vs. racism?" and then bolt as we start to kerfuffle.

It is the nature of all things internet to degrade into mindless squabbling.

'..Tries to cut down on the gay jokes' Why would you want to do that?#!
This was an especially good one, love how you smash right through the world of political correctness, or let the game do it for you...

mshcherbatskaya:

This thread will serve to assure him that we are easily distracted, so that if he gets cornered again, he can ask something like, "So, what's your opinion on the acceptability of homophobia vs. racism?" and then bolt as we start to kerfuffle.

"If he gets cornered again"? Am I missing something? Did he get cornered?
Also, I agree wholeheartedly with the eye-rolling bit. These topics tend to spin off based on their own momentum in a direction only tangentially related to the topic at hand. That said, could you imagine where the boards would have gone if Army of Two had kept the proposed "stuff the tampon in the bullet wound" mechanic? Not a pretty thought...

You could just tell from the gameplay trailers this was going to be pants.

Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

ummmmmm dude. he might. or he will just mention it and tell us to go F^&k ourselves which i feel is more likely. any way onto the sexy violence

YAHTZEE RULES one of my favourites yet

the best bit is about teh halloween and your giving out the candy and the candy is bullets!

i laughed my appendix out

NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

Voodoo Child:
NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

As Harmonix isn't actually the distributing company down here, its not really something they can fix. Its not down to Harmonix restricting it from us just to make their balls feel big, its Australian and European importers refusing to actually do any bloody thing until the price goes down, and then charging us double. Pricks.

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:
NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

As Harmonix isn't actually the distributing company down here, its not really something they can fix. Its not down to Harmonix restricting it from us just to make their balls feel big, its Australian and European importers refusing to actually do any bloody thing until the price goes down, and then charging us double. Pricks.

That I can seriously believe. I mean, the whole "Release Gap" thing is something that has always bothered me, but when it has no release date SIX MONTHS on from the American release, something is just plain wrong.

And then we get in trouble when we import to get it by a decent date at a reasonable price. Man we are such bastards.

Voodoo Child:

Indigo_Dingo:

Voodoo Child:
NO! BAD YAHTZEE. No wait, good Yahtzee! A+. 10/10 etc.

Indigo_Dingo:
Perhaps if we all suggest via email (all meaning all, like all of Escapist) that he import the Ps3 version of Rock Band and then review it, he might actually do it.

Or better yet, spend that time emailing Harmonix instead, and get them off their bloody arses so all of us down here can get it. Hell, it's more likely to happen then your idea.

As Harmonix isn't actually the distributing company down here, its not really something they can fix. Its not down to Harmonix restricting it from us just to make their balls feel big, its Australian and European importers refusing to actually do any bloody thing until the price goes down, and then charging us double. Pricks.

That I can seriously believe. I mean, the whole "Release Gap" thing is something that has always bothered me, but when it has no release date SIX MONTHS on from the American release, something is just plain wrong.

And then we get in trouble when we import to get it by a decent date at a reasonable price. Man we are such bastards.

Whats with this system they use for deciding which title is imported as soon as it is in America, and which is not? I mean, we get a piece of Crap like Guitar Hero III almost instantly (about a month off) and we wait half a fucking year for Rock Band?

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