Zero Punctuation: Condemned 2: Bloodshot

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HAHAH! this is your best! I loved when you broke the fourth wall with the british WW1 guy!

Nice one.
And without overusing swear words and sexual jokes. Not that I mind but you can be funny without them.

And where do you always find those songs?

I'll agree on the need to remain subtle, but as for keeping the plot unresolved...

No No No! Resolving plot points is a GOOD thing. You don't want games to end up with plots from the show Lost, do you? Do you really want your stories to RELY on unresolved, ambiguous plot points that get dragged out through the franchise till you're frustrated and pissed at the stupid resolution?

...then again maybe such a story will self destruct their franchise faster, thus forcing game developers to come up with more original stuff...GOOD! Disregard the above.

What coincidence, I literally played through the entirety of Condemned 1 this morning (midnight-6am) because a friend was talking about it. I didn't exactly find it all that scary aside from a few moments where I audibly said 'Whoa' when I turned around to find a freaky mutant person staring at me. That is, until I smacked their face off with a pipe.

Also, to be perfectly fair, if you go out of your way to collect all the hidden items in Condemned, you'll get more backstory on everything which not only makes mention of a cult being behind all the crazy shit, but that they make use of some kind of sonic control to inflict the madness on people.

JeebusOwnsYou:

Eleo:

The idea that you had superhuman abilities didn't bother me either because, again, they set that up in Condemned 1 when they revealed you had clairvoyant senses and higher than normal bone density.

I have friends who have higher than normal bone density and also appear to have a connection with the spirit world around us.

I have yet to see any advancements on superhuman powers from them.

Just saying.

That wasn't really my point though. Within the context of the game, the psychic senses, higher than normal bone density, the missing parts of Ethan's file; the writers were obviously leading up to something. They had made it pretty clear that Ethan was far more than an average human in the first game and they also made it clear he was somehow related to the strange, metallic, ninja-like enemies that popped up toward the end of the game. So when they revealed that he could produce deadly screams, that didn't seem far-fetched to me at all. On the other hand if they hadn't set up anything like that, and Ethan was just an average joe who all of a sudden belted out a scream that exploded skulls -- THAT would have been stupid.

Nice video. Much funnier than his recent ones.

NoPantsMan:
I'll agree on the need to remain subtle, but as for keeping the plot unresolved...

No No No! Resolving plot points is a GOOD thing. You don't want games to end up with plots from the show Lost, do you? Do you really want your stories to RELY on unresolved, ambiguous plot points that get dragged out through the franchise till you're frustrated and pissed at the stupid resolution?

...then again maybe such a story will self destruct their franchise faster, thus forcing game developers to come up with more original stuff...GOOD! Disregard the above.

You can have a resolution without "showing god". "A cult did it!" is a tired plot device in itself, but if you feel you really need to use one it's best not to have them show how they do their tricks. Magic isn't half as interesting once you know how it's done : )

Oh, and I looked behind me, and all that was there was a mirror and... oh, I get it. Yeah, I do feel sort of angry now...

I think this unfortunate malady also applies to the introduction of aliens to the story. Perfect Dark became stupid because of it. Any other games you all know of that were ruined in this manner?

Genius

yahtzee you charasmatic stalion another great ZP as usual

Best review in weeks.

One of the best yet. Made me laugh. And his points were all valid (I think), just like in no more heroes.
Yeah Fahrenheit got lame at the end.

"Wrong...!

And shut up!"

Gwhahaha.

Dectilon:
"A cult did it!" is a tired plot device in itself

"A cult did it" was the final revelation of the first game.

If it was that much of a turnoff then anyone who played the first game should have never picked this one up. Not complain that the game was going great until the halfway point, where they reiterate and expand on _what they already told you_.

One of the funniest so far. One could make a great very many fantastic icons out of the art on this one.

"like a white-collar-worker with a bukkakeworld expenses account"

look, Yahtzee's a genius, we all know this but really I'm torn. I'm torn between the obvious greatness that is the Z.P.motormouth and the equal greatness that is The Chalkboard Warrior. What's a citizen of planet truth to do?

:)

Oh good lord, I spit Vanilla Coke Zero onto my keyboard at the "Fucking Retarded DBZ super powers screen."

Oh yes. This one was the funniest since CoD 4, I dare say.

NoPantsMan:
I'll agree on the need to remain subtle, but as for keeping the plot unresolved...

No No No! Resolving plot points is a GOOD thing. You don't want games to end up with plots from the show Lost, do you? Do you really want your stories to RELY on unresolved, ambiguous plot points that get dragged out through the franchise till you're frustrated and pissed at the stupid resolution?

...then again maybe such a story will self destruct their franchise faster, thus forcing game developers to come up with more original stuff...GOOD! Disregard the above.

I find myself disagreeing with you. Cliff hangers are good to resolve, or details about main characters past or motivations are usually important...

But in atmospheric games, what you do not understand is always way more creepy. So a lot of times, you give your villain extra scare factor when you don't understand him. Who's scarier, the monster that you understand and can predict, or the monster that you know nothing about but is still an ever present problem for you?

But then again, maybe it's just another stalk trick to scare you, like having something jump up at you in dark, poorly lit rooms.

'erratic turds' inspiring, I voted on Webby.

Eleo:

Dectilon:
"A cult did it!" is a tired plot device in itself

"A cult did it" was the final revelation of the first game.

If it was that much of a turnoff then anyone who played the first game should have never picked this one up. Not complain that the game was going great until the halfway point, where they reiterate and expand on _what they already told you_.

Well hang on, now. The "it was a cult" line annoyed me at first, but by then the game was over and I didn't have to deal with them. Because plays of the first game always sent me to bed clutching my chest in terror, I knew I had to pick up the sequel. I don't like FPS games, but I love Condemned.

You've made some excellent points in your defense of the storyline, but even if I did know the backstory (kudos to you for 100% completing the game, btw) I'd still be annoyed over the stupid sonic scream attack- however well-explained it is.

Weird-looking enemies and nightmares not withstanding, that could easily be me treading fearfully about the subway, swinging a broken conduit at drug-crazed attackers.

Then the game gave me the power to kill with but a word. And because I can't do that in real life (alas :P ) I'm no longer as immersed as I was in the game.

I'm not sad that I played it- on the contrary, the game was fun, terrifying and memorable. But when too much sci-fi creeps into my horror... sigh.

I think this is the best one I've seen yet. :D

Yahtzee delivers a great review and a really good point. A good writer knows that if you want to keep a mystery interesting, especially when it surrounds a scenario and characters you would already know and your first impression of the current situation is something that's different from it, you don't spoil everything at the very beginning. You need to make the people ask themselves questions and see if they'll get an asnwer. That's a clever hook.

He always has awesome music choice lol.

ZP shirts? OMG YAHTZ33 IZ A SELLOWT!

Another thing that really bothered me in Condemned 1 is the "Black/white slow motion moments" when your supposed to see something interesting but your looking somewhere else and you have to restart the saving point to watch it.

About the t-shirt desing, I don't like de "ZP" basically is the same motto the spanish goverment use to promote our president. So I have some some alternatives ideas:
"I prefer to die rather than press X"
"Rock Band is a urban legend"
"Portal is great and if you don't like you must be stupid"
"My hand shoots bees. You're going to fucking loose"
"Zero punctuation: enjoyed by Peter Molyneux"
Also, a t-shirt whith all the game characters (Gordon Freeman, Mario, the big Daddy, Peter Molyneux...) around Yathzee holding a cake could be great.

Admit it. Who turned around and looked for a serial killer behind them?

Bloody brilliant as usual.
Thanks for makin me save 70€.

rebochan:
Admit it. Who turned around and looked for a serial killer behind them?

*raises hand* Guilty as charged!

Excellent as always.

I'm definitely on board for the ZP shirts. Heck, I finally signed up for the site just so I could say so.

Great Review Mr. Croshaw.

I've sent my email telling the tshirt gods that i would love one. or 2...maybe 3?

lets not make them obvious though. i want to show i love my ZP, not turn it into an advertisement...make it a word of mouth thing if you must.

make somebody ask me, "hey, whats that shirt all about?".

plus...well then i get to sound like i know everything about the internet...

rebochan:
Admit it. Who turned around and looked for a serial killer behind them?

I didn't actually although it was extremely hard not to.

Brilliant review, one of the best i daresay.

Man, this guy is always spot on...Except for Halo 3 of course, witch is beyond criticism. Great review as always, though.

Hmuda:
Hm, I might be wrong but I remember some explanation about Condemned1's agression-wave. It had something to do with the toxic anti-pest chemicals used earlier on that orchard (with that Hatred-guy as a side dish).

No, it was the strange shouty cult.

It's just that all the explanation of it, and Ethan's connection to it, is in the documents you can read as extras for getting achievements, rather than the game itself.

Ugbugbug:
Awesome, interesting how Yahtzee didn't comment on the game's controversy..

Oh yeah, I SO looked behind me for that serial killer. :P

haha u should be dead by now

i didnt turn aroud but i did look at the mirror to my left 2 see wat was behind me lol

Second time in a row that Yahtzee mentionds Dragon Ball Z -

are you a fan? :)

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