Zero Punctuation: Condemned 2: Bloodshot

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Indigo Prophecy, I loved half that game, the later half was like WTF since it abandoned common sense adventuring, and multi-characters for "I gotz powers to ownz youz" out of no where.

Really didn't like that game for pulling that, it just feels unoriginal, and weird.

Don't get me started on getting it on with dead guys.

Edit: Also most actions didn't really matter accept the final ones, which made it a drag at the end, almost thought the game was ultimate game of choice, when it wasn't.

Anyway good review it was, funny as it was informative.

hpv:
GTA4 day-and-date in Australia is going to be like March 2009, right?

It comes out in 4 days or something. There's a lot less waiting for big/ridiculously hyped games on the other consoles compared to Wii and some PS2 games. *glares at Super Paper Mario and Oding Sphere

...does anyone here *actually* base their game purchases on ZP reviews as they say? Please tell me that isn't the case. Anyway, funny review as always - particularly the "entertaining series of bum fights" - though I did like Indigo Prophecy more or less from start to finish.

Indrid Cold:
...does anyone here *actually* base their game purchases on ZP reviews as they say? Please tell me that isn't the case.

I'm more worried about people asking Yahtzee to tone down or drop the comedy act because there are some stupids who might take it seriously.

The irony being that one of my favorite lines from the Witcher Damage Control Squad was

THIS IS, IN NOW WAY A MMORPG.

hay, at 3:36 theres a full stop, what happened to *zero* punctuation? you lied to us, you lie like cheap watch.
and btw yes i know that im a nerd, so i fully invite you to reply to this with some meatheaded "LOl wuT R U SuM KInd4 NErD???!!! LOLOL0l0lOL!!!11!!" (Player in the leet world was carved out of pure awesome by chuck norris) but if you want to do that then please first get yourself neutered for the good of the gene pool and then carve your fingers off with some sort of sharp object so that you cant use a computor, this means that when you insult people in the future then they'll actually be able to hit you
edit: about the whole cutting off your fingers thing, you might want to get a friend to help you with the second hand, in fact, it doesnt have to be a friend, id help, seems like a worthy cause (this spewing bile was caused mainly from the battallions of strange people who spawn from damp toilet floors just to crawl their way to a computor and insult everyone that they can so that they can feel good about themselves for being so brave)

Maxpayne5th:
Thats because you went from paying out a game for obvious flaws to being downright hypocritical. Yes, your Chzo Mythos series ends with... you guessed it, a CULT! 5 Days a Stranger didn't start with an obvious twist to a Cult or Sect. Neither did 7 Days a Skeptic. It was only Trilby's notes, and 6 Days a Sacrifice that we saw this Cult. Hang on, that means your series has Indigo Prophecy Syndrome as well, you've become what you have always hated! (Dramatic Music) Duh Duh DUH!

Without quoting the whole bit, I think it's worth mentioning that Indigo Prophecy Syndrome causes a plot that goes batshit in the second half. He named cults as a lesser symptom. Pay attention.

Therumancer:
My biggest problem with Yahtzee's review this time is that unlike other ones, it's entirely obvious that he is sounding off without knowlege he claims to have. He's claiming to have played and beaten Condemned 1 to make comparisons to Condemned 2, but it's obvious he hasn't as what he claims is the finale isn't the finale, and certain elements that he claims the first Condemned was better for lacking were always present. Including a big, fat cinematic scene talking about your Protaganist being a bit more than a normal human.

And again, people who paid attention already know that he did not describe the "running through the house from SKX" as the finale, but rather a final boss sequence. While I can understand how the unitiated would see this and think he means "the end", those of us who play games tend to understand that the "final sequences" take up to the last hour and a half of the game. See Assasin's Creed. Also, as stated above, he didn't say the game was bad because it contained a cult, he said that was the final nail in a plot that had gone batshit and given away too much, which is a valid complaint.

- J (chicks dig guys who listen)

It's interesting that Yahtzee ended with the X-Files characters as there's a new movie coming out in a movie that makes new Zelda and Mario games seem fresh and exciting. So that little joke is expectedly timely, and maybe they'll explain why they never hooked up this time.

tiredinnuendo:

Maxpayne5th:
Thats because you went from paying out a game for obvious flaws to being downright hypocritical. Yes, your Chzo Mythos series ends with... you guessed it, a CULT! 5 Days a Stranger didn't start with an obvious twist to a Cult or Sect. Neither did 7 Days a Skeptic. It was only Trilby's notes, and 6 Days a Sacrifice that we saw this Cult. Hang on, that means your series has Indigo Prophecy Syndrome as well, you've become what you have always hated! (Dramatic Music) Duh Duh DUH!

Without quoting the whole bit, I think it's worth mentioning that Indigo Prophecy Syndrome causes a plot that goes batshit in the second half. He named cults as a lesser symptom. Pay attention.

I believe I was paying attention, you just missed something from his Chzo Mythos series. Like Indigo Prophecy, the main character ends up becoming a new man with immense power. Sure, Indigo Prophecy takes it to a big fight, while 6 Days a Sacrifice just makes him become so powerful no-one can stop him. But then premise stays the same. 1/2 way into the game (We'll say that the Chzo Mythos is a full game rather than a 4 part series) we start hearing about this cult and that the spirit of John Defoe wasn't the biggest threat in the supernatural world. If he didn't want the series to get IP syndrome, then he should've just stuck with John Defoe being a mean spirit killing people because he was angry at the world who mistreated him (Even though it was just his dad, but he doesn't care).

Your right, he did say it was the nail in the coffin. His first reason was valid (With the Jihad Bombers, like where did they come from) but his second, I don't know. He's in a museum and there are guys with armour and swords. Well if you have something like that available to you, then I'll take it. What don't like a challenge Yahtzee? Cmon you can do it!

In Chzo Mythos he was still able to pull things out of his arse. Like the new prince at the end, where'd he get the staff from, hmm? Old Prince may have had one, but not one that looked like that. So arguing that the Chzo Mythos series does or does not have IP syndrome is like arguing 10 Hours whether Ricky Ponting just got LBW'd by Sajun Tanduker (Sorry but I'm not sure how to spell it). We can look at the evidence and see both sides of the coin. I still think the Chzo Mythos series does have IP syndrome. Do I care? No. Its still an awesome adventure game that I would play again and again. Same with Indigo Prophecy. Because to be honest, I didn't care all that much about the ending of Indigo Prophecy. I still think it was pretty good.

But that's just me.

I'd like to see ZP shirts with various awesome scenes from ZP. i.e. the Altair diving at a random peasant while screaming, the bit from heavenly sword with "Words that exist", the wiimote bow from the RE review, etc.

Jack Spencer Jr:
It's interesting that Yahtzee ended with the X-Files characters as there's a new movie coming out in a movie that makes new Zelda and Mario games seem fresh and exciting. So that little joke is expectedly timely, and maybe they'll explain why they never hooked up this time.

They did hook up. Yahtzee was wrong.

it was awesome, i too hate games with a sense of realism that go the superhero way after a couple of hours.and yahtzee is simply the most awesome reviewer ever, he makes me choke on my own laughs!

A good one seem to have returned to form after a down streak toward the end of 07. Now to go fly and meet the others from my ancient mystical cult.

SamSloth:
hay, at 3:36 theres a full stop, what happened to *zero* punctuation? you lied to us, you lie like cheap watch.
and btw yes i know that im a nerd, so i fully invite you to reply to this with some meatheaded "LOl wuT R U SuM KInd4 NErD???!!! LOLOL0l0lOL!!!11!!" (Player in the leet world was carved out of pure awesome by chuck norris) but if you want to do that then please first get yourself neutered for the good of the gene pool and then carve your fingers off with some sort of sharp object so that you cant use a computor, this means that when you insult people in the future then they'll actually be able to hit you
edit: about the whole cutting off your fingers thing, you might want to get a friend to help you with the second hand, in fact, it doesnt have to be a friend, id help, seems like a worthy cause (this spewing bile was caused mainly from the battallions of strange people who spawn from damp toilet floors just to crawl their way to a computor and insult everyone that they can so that they can feel good about themselves for being so brave)

Did I miss something? Did anyone attack you? We're well-behaved people at the Escapist. No one is going to jump down your throat because you pointed out that there was a full-stop. However, after your mean-spirited rant, I have a question for you: who's the meathead?

Maxpayne5th:

Your right, he did say it was the nail in the coffin. His first reason was valid (With the Jihad Bombers, like where did they come from) but his second, I don't know. He's in a museum and there are guys with armour and swords. Well if you have something like that available to you, then I'll take it. What don't like a challenge Yahtzee? Cmon you can do it!

Funny, he already said the same thing in the review. Did he edit it or something so you didn't notice? Also, challenge is great and good, but when you have to complete a game every week, too much challenge can get frustrating. But, seeing as he made it through it, I don't think it was that big a problem.

In Chzo Mythos he was still able to pull things out of his arse. Like the new prince at the end, where'd he get the staff from, hmm? Old Prince may have had one, but not one that looked like that. So arguing that the Chzo Mythos series does or does not have IP syndrome is like arguing 10 Hours whether Ricky Ponting just got LBW'd by Sajun Tanduker (Sorry but I'm not sure how to spell it). We can look at the evidence and see both sides of the coin. I still think the Chzo Mythos series does have IP syndrome. Do I care? No. Its still an awesome adventure game that I would play again and again. Same with Indigo Prophecy. Because to be honest, I didn't care all that much about the ending of Indigo Prophecy. I still think it was pretty good.

I didn't think she was talking about that point. I would say that, if the game was good, it didn't suffer from IP syndrome, but that's just me.

thedrop2zer0:

Jack Spencer Jr:
It's interesting that Yahtzee ended with the X-Files characters as there's a new movie coming out in a movie that makes new Zelda and Mario games seem fresh and exciting. So that little joke is expectedly timely, and maybe they'll explain why they never hooked up this time.

They did hook up. Yahtzee was wrong.

You mean Yahtzee isn't infallible? NOOOOO!!!

I agree on some points like the Indigo Prophecy-syndrome.
But it doesn't really seem like you've been playing the game online. It's great fun, try it.
Add me on XBL if you wanna rumble, LMAOBOAT94

I believe I am one of the dying breed who somehow still cling to the idea that Condemned is about a descent into madness.

I can't disagree with anything Yahtzee has said about this game.
I once almost thought the Condemned story was quite clever, but lately my faith in the game's writers' storytelling abilities is faltering fast.
It is just getting too frustrating picking through all the far-out garbage seeping into the game's story in order to find the curious bits dealing with psychology.

Even if it turns out Ethan is slowly going absolutely bonkers since before the first game started, the writers did a sloppy job of telling that story. Fight Club meets Don Quixote? Sorry Monolith. I can hardly even buy into that as an explaination anymore.

My mate just bought this game and we played trough 80% together.
I 100% agree with what you said
As we were bouth high it was fucking scary first half of the game:p
After that guy with the freacky mouth and eyes died in what I must say was the most pitiful "boss" fight in history (he was just a normal enemy:S).
All the shit you said about the gun fights was 100% true, mostly ebcause we were figting normal people.. and the atmosphere just whent to a straight foreward shooter:S
Havent seen the last few lvls though, so cant comment on that.
Enjoyed the game but got mediocre after the halfway mark ike you said.
Keep up the good work

oh (***)... I even looked when he said HE"S BEHIND YOU RIGHT NOW BUT DONT LOOK CUZ THAT WILL RLY PISS HIM OFF -_-... but brilliant as usual lol

My favourite part of this:

WRONG

And shut up.

Gets me every time. :D

It's a bit late to be replying to this but I only completed the game on Friday (after getting it on Wednesday). After playing it I believe that Yahtzee made more of the change in combat style then is actually there

firstly his superpower
- Ethan is first given hints that he is different with attention to his bone structure and lack of vocal cord x-ray in the first game and there is a substantial build up to the discovery of powers in the second game. They are not just pulled out of his arse rather revealed after a lengthy process
- They are first revealed in cutscene and you can't actually use them for the first time untill you've completed the second to last level. Therefore while the Peninsula has a large focus on your vocal ability it is the only level that could be said to do so

The guns
- there are only two levels at most that make Condemned 2 feel like a FPS, the Black Lodge level and once again the last level (the Peninsula)

Investigations
- While they are less frequent this matches with parts of the story where he isn't required to do as much and the investigations that are in the level are all quite important with valid contributions to the plot

The cult
- Now I agree that cults are cliche. But they fit purpose and they are the best type of thing to serve the needs of the story that they serve.

I personally found no problem with the plot but thats just me. Though warning lights did flash when I had a fight with a clown girl that consisted of us throwing explosive baby dolls at each other

Great review, and once again I know this is a bit late to say anything but once again I only recently completed it

I bought this game a couple of days agao and after finishing it I have to say your "review" is miles off.
Especially the rant about the story makes this review seem rushed and makes me believe Yahtzee didnt spend much time paying attention to it.

> The "powers" are not pulled out of the ass. Ethan's physical abnormalities were known in part one already. This power (A sonic scream, no kamehameha beam or whatever) is only available in the last level and is mainly used as a key ability to specific enemies (Oro sonic's and the final boss).

> While the cult does become know in the second half of the game. It does make certain things in the story fall into place. The only thing lacking is a "true motive", one wich will most likely be saved for another sequel. (the ending has "join us next week for another episode" all over it.) To me there seemed to be nothing mystical about it apart from the fact that the cult most likely witnessed the birth of Jesus. (being over 2000 years old)
The medieval enemies in the museum had nothing to do with it though. Those were hooligans wielding armor and weapons they looted from the exhibits.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
oh thank god, the serial killer behind me went to get a drink T_T
XD
great review as usual :P

The serial killer who lives under your bed and is standing wright behind you but dont look that will relly piss him off. Awsome condemnd 1 literliey made me poop my self a little didnt play 2 becausae it looked kinda stuoid

Resident Evil 4 came close to Indigo Prophecy Syndrome somewhere around Chapter 4. It had the lack of subtlety and mystical cults, but thankfully Capcom decided not to give Leon superhuman powers :P

As much as I see that the sci-fi elements ruin the game, they aren't always so poorly implemented. For example, Call of Cthulu: Dark Corners of the Earth plays like an adventure into pissing your pants after you've taken 4 hits of acid and imaged cockroaches crawling in your brain. In spite of that, probably one of the best ZP reviews out there.

I own it, not horrible. The story does go to crap, but the scary setting keeps up pretty well.

Thank you yahtzee, Session 9 was a great movie (I guess I'm the only one who picked that up).

Sorry to be so late to the party, and double sorry if someone else mentioned this, but there were some very strong hints dropped on the loading screens in the original (at least on the Platinum Hits version.)

funny

Hmm actually in the end of Condemned: Criminals Origins it was ME chasing the serial killer (i was invincible). Didn't really like the story or combat in Condemned 1, but if i may buy Condemned 2 for curiosity.

I can't believe I'm posting in this like a year later but I just have to say it:
Nowhere in the game do any of the characters use the phrase 'ancient mystical cult'. And the way he describes the dolls make them sound like little robots that run up to you at full speed and just explode.

There, that feels better.

I thought it was hilarious condemned really did take a turn to the weird halfway through

I made the mistake of buying Condemned 2 before playing through the first game. I'm almost certain the suckage in the last levels of Bloodshot were because developers were pressured by the game being overlooked the first time around.

I'm suprised you didn't mention the "Magic Man"... what a blantent rip-off of Bioshock, he's this game's jump the shark moment for me, it could've just ended in the Trenton stage and been much better off for it.

Session 9 was a good film, though confusing as...

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