Zero Punctuation: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

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So did we make 1,000 before he updated?! Clearly we've made an impact in his next review (This Just In: Brawl is Still Shit)

Wooooooooooooooot

1000 reviews, shitstorms are us

guv:

144:

guv:
marth if from fire emblem!!!!!!

But really? I was hoping after my last remark regarding reading small bits of the forum you'd have done so to avoid repeatedly restating posts 1 through 800 and beyond. In fact, there was a conversation about Marth in between two of your very own posts. We realize (as does Yahtzee by now, I'm sure) that Marth is from fire emblem, hence Ike's being so similar in appearance and (A button) moveset.

FFS!! YOU LEARY F**K u represent prove all of my comments!!!

Come again? Calm down. What are you trying to say?

case in point for the shitstorm is above this post

*evil glare for degrading honest gamings good name*

smallharmlesskitten:
case in point for the shitstorm is above this post

*evil glare for degrading honest gamings good name*

Yup. That's what forums are for.

*Bright and cheery smile for degrading the trading of opinions' good name*

ya'll just a bunch of jealous PlayShit3 players and Softies(XBOX360 fans). what more can i say? that review was innacurate, there's 3 ways to unlock ALL the hidden characters... not play for 10 hours for sonic, geez... i beat the singleplayer in 7 hrs which is the usual and got EVERYone. Brawl isn't shit, and im not coming back to check the replies on this comment again so dont bother spamming you 'miserable fanboy twats' heheh fuck you all :P

Mr.Phuckyou:
ya'll just a bunch of jealous PlayShit3 players and Softies(XBOX360 fans). what more can i say? that review was innacurate, there's 3 ways to unlock ALL the hidden characters... not play for 10 hours for sonic, geez... i beat the singleplayer in 7 hrs which is the usual and got EVERYone. Brawl isn't shit, and im not coming back to check the replies on this comment again so dont bother spamming you 'miserable fanboy twats' heheh fuck you all :P

I understand not wanting to read 1000 posts, but seriously, you could at least get a little bit of the forum's history before posting something like that. I suggest pages 20 and up. And there'll be a pop quiz tomorrow on the topic "what makes someone an oblivious hypocrite."

144:

Mr.Phuckyou:
ya'll just a bunch of jealous PlayShit3 players and Softies(XBOX360 fans). what more can i say? that review was innacurate, there's 3 ways to unlock ALL the hidden characters... not play for 10 hours for sonic, geez... i beat the singleplayer in 7 hrs which is the usual and got EVERYone. Brawl isn't shit, and im not coming back to check the replies on this comment again so dont bother spamming you 'miserable fanboy twats' heheh fuck you all :P

I understand not wanting to read 1000 posts, but seriously, you could at least get a little bit of the forum's history before posting something like that. I suggest pages 20 and up. And there'll be a pop quiz tomorrow on the topic "what makes someone an oblivious hypocrite."

well three cheers for stuupid peoples

Heh-heh-heh 10 cunt gargling hours, love it. I don't wanna read any of this, I'm allergic to stupid uninformed fanboy ranting. Now I'm going to comment the NEW video. I highly suggest you delicate buttercups (wii fanboys) drop this and go do the same before you drown in pool of your own articulate diarrhea.

Anyone trying to defend Yahtzee or otherwise dissuade the fanboys through well structured argument, don't involve yourselves, you cannot satiate a fanboys lust for his own mawing attempts at being acknowledged, simply to force feed you there inconsistent and hopeless propaganda.

People like Mr.Phuckyou should be banned off the Internet for life. Oh yes I own a PS3 :)

maybe you should speed read the last ten pages and you'd find more yahtzee fan boys

Lzdarkangel:
maybe you should speed read the last ten pages and you'd find more yahtzee fan boys

Gah, is it really worth it? I'll just take your word for it. They should just all stop before we incense the wrath of Yahtzee and he shall review us all one by one and we will be thoroughly reviewed with words of the unpleasant variety, and puns about our mothers overly plump bottoms will be made public and laughter will be imminent, and woe betide us if we happen to like to take it up the arse from men with hairy bottoms.

NezumiiroKitsune:
Heh-heh-heh 10 cunt gargling hours, love it. I don't wanna read any of this, I'm allergic to stupid uninformed fanboy ranting. Now I'm going to comment the NEW video. I highly suggest you delicate buttercups (wii fanboys) drop this and go do the same before you drown in pool of your own articulate diarrhea.

Anyone trying to defend Yahtzee or otherwise dissuade the fanboys through well structured argument, don't involve yourselves, you cannot satiate a fanboys lust for his own mawing attempts at being acknowledged, simply to force feed you there inconsistent and hopeless propaganda.

People like Mr.Phuckyou should be banned off the Internet for life. Oh yes I own a PS3 :)

The new video has been out for a while now. What are you doing here? We're talking about Brawl. And we'll continue as long as new subjects are brought up. Although, from your argument, you sound like a fanboy in disguise, the disguise being an attempt at articulation. While this post may be proving you correct, I still think it was a bit of an obnoxious thing to say. And Mr.P has likely already either learned the error of his ways, or is living in a dream of obliviousness he has no plans to exit. Which is too bad for the rest of us, truth be told, but it may be hard to change.

And there are some typos in your post.
Heehee.

NezumiiroKitsune:

Gah, is it really worth it? I'll just take your word for it. They should just all stop before we incense the wrath of Yahtzee and he shall review us all one by one and we will be thoroughly reviewed with words of the unpleasant variety, and puns about our mothers overly plump bottoms will be made public and laughter will be imminent, and woe betide us if we happen to like to take it up the arse from men with hairy bottoms.

It's sort of worth it, for comic relief if nothing else.

144:

The new video has been out for a while now. What are you doing here? We're talking about Brawl. And we'll continue as long as new subjects are brought up. Although, from your argument, you sound like a fanboy in disguise, the disguise being an attempt at articulation. While this post may be proving you correct, I still think it was a bit of an obnoxious thing to say. And Mr.P has likely already either learned the error of his ways, or is living in a dream of obliviousness he has no plans to exit. Which is too bad for the rest of us, truth be told, but it may be hard to change.

And there's some typos in your post.
Heehee.

~Goes to take cyanide pills~

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as overly articulate or obnoxious, but we seem to be really dragging this thread on, and seem to be, in the process, achieving nigh on nothing like most Internet shit throwing contests (substitute "debates"). I do love Yahtzee, but I agree he can be a bit tough on a game. I did read some of the initial posts to this thread, and many accused Yahtzee of not actually reviewing the game, pretty much on the basis he said nothing good. As far as I can see, he reviewed what he believed and he believed in his honest reviewing heart(s) of mana that SSBB was just awful. You can only argue an opinion so far before it simply becomes repetitive immature shit throwing and generalised banter. Like this for example post for example :)

I didn't make any typos there I think :? Unless you count colloquial English. Night.

I loved Brawl.
Do I disagree with some of his points? Of course.
Do I think less of him or think that he's not a reviewer? No.
His opinion, his reviews.
If all of you fanboys feel so strongly, start your own hilarious weekly game reviews.
Oh, wait, you can't, because you're nowhere near as awesome as Yahtzee.
Grow up, kiddies.

i call end of thread. Sorrow seems to have made up everyones mind now

Fighting games are not meant for single player modes, they are meant to be rated on their competitive play. Nobody I know plays Tekken or Street Fighter single player for more than 10 minutes... lol. That's why he reviewed it the way he did, he focuses on the single player "story" modes of the games. He doesn't seem to play any games at all for competition, so I think his review of the single player, non-competitive side of Brawl was completely accurate. As for the competitive scene, that's a completely different animal, as it is with all games (i.e. Halo campaign is NOTHING like Halo multiplayer).

NezumiiroKitsune:
Heh-heh-heh 10 cunt gargling hours, love it. I don't wanna read any of this, I'm allergic to stupid uninformed fanboy ranting. Now I'm going to comment the NEW video. I highly suggest you delicate buttercups (wii fanboys) drop this and go do the same before you drown in pool of your own articulate diarrhea.

Anyone trying to defend Yahtzee or otherwise dissuade the fanboys through well structured argument, don't involve yourselves, you cannot satiate a fanboys lust for his own mawing attempts at being acknowledged, simply to force feed you there inconsistent and hopeless propaganda.

People like Mr.Phuckyou should be banned off the Internet for life. Oh yes I own a PS3 :)

lol i guess i lied about coming back! uh oh ur fucked now! and i wasn't going to respond until i saw this guy, who thinks he's smart using all his long words and calling me oblivous, and then later on down leaving saying he's done and then off to bed in a 'oh yeah! i told THAT guy!' sort of way. well after i read that last part of u saying u own a PS3? that's where i pretty much said 'oh... well no wonder you talk shit about brawl, u wish u had it.' dont u judge me along with that other guy saying i should have read the earlier posts. brawl is a success idc if Yahtzee's joking or not, i think ur a PS3 fanboy wat about that huh? really ur just a hopeless fanboy who wish sony made good games. and dont bother with GTA4 or whatever it's all garbage. Wii outscores PS3 and 360 in everyway except graphics too bad that doesnt make a real game, it only helps. So YOU'RE oblivious, AND you play shitty games... Let's all ban this inarticulate diarrhea douchefuck dickhead instead. (hows THAT for alliteration bitch?)

Wow. I could only read about 5 pages of this and already I want to puke.

Clearly Yahtzee has won. The incessant fanboy posters, making flimsy ad hominem arguments in some misguided hope that they can make Yahtzee or his viewers "see the light" into his bias is making me seriously nauseous.

How can someone hope to defend a mediocre game by saying things like "he wasn't fair in his review" or that his "bias affected the review" etc etc seriously?? He rips on games, get over it! If it were truly spectacular, he would be left in awe, but he wasn't, was he? He hated the Phantom Hourglass, but I loved it, and I didn't feel the need to correct him.

1000 comments on this one movie, amid groupings of 200, It's obvious Yahtzee hit close to home. I only hope he can review some others to inflame other fanboy groups. Someone with a nonsensical no-nonsense approach to reviewing is hilarious to watch, and the comments after especially good movies about especially mediocre to bad games are just as hilarious if not moreso.

Stop! Banhammer time!

Seriously, you are the biggest (and most idiotic) fanboy I have ever seen.
Of course, since you obviously have no grammar skills, I shall repeat this in leetspeak.
Lol! n00b GTFO teh interwebs! Lol gay fanboy lieks 2 play with teh wii! GTFO, n00b!

Clear enough for you?

I for the most part agree with The Sorrow's comment about his review/my opinions.

I admit I like Brawl partly because I feel that it ISNT a button masher like Soul Calibur. But then again, I play more competitively. It depends on what you want to do with the game. I don't find it a bad addition to whip out every once awhile and play, much better than something like Soul Calibur Legends where one simply wanks off a wiimote to kill each other.

I have to say, even though i enjoy the game, I'm pretty disappointed by the fanboy-ism. I wholeheartedly admit I enjoy the series, but I'm also not blind to flaws. It's a shame people can't be more objective about things and find the need to argue their side incessantly.

As for the actual review, I still found it absolutely hilarious as always, in spite of my feelings for the game. =]

xanrethan:
Wow. I could only read about 5 pages of this and already I want to puke.

Clearly Yahtzee has won. The incessant fanboy posters, making flimsy ad hominem arguments in some misguided hope that they can make Yahtzee or his viewers "see the light" into his bias is making me seriously nauseous.

How can someone hope to defend a mediocre game by saying things like "he wasn't fair in his review" or that his "bias affected the review" etc etc seriously?? He rips on games, get over it! If it were truly spectacular, he would be left in awe, but he wasn't, was he? He hated the Phantom Hourglass, but I loved it, and I didn't feel the need to correct him.

1000 comments on this one movie, amid groupings of 200, It's obvious Yahtzee hit close to home. I only hope he can review some others to inflame other fanboy groups. Someone with a nonsensical no-nonsense approach to reviewing is hilarious to watch, and the comments after especially good movies about especially mediocre to bad games are just as hilarious if not moreso.

Which 5 pages did you read? Were they the first 5 that was like watching Yahtzee getting sucked off by all too eager fanboys or the last 5 that was like watching a person suffering from multiple personality disorder argue amongst himself?

I think you should have posted during the first 5 pages...

thats hilarious, my lame friends a few years ago use to play smash bros. on Nintendo 64 with eye of the tiger playing on their stereo, and I even gave it a try all those years ago.
I admit I had fun for a few mintutes but would never spend much time getting good at it.
I don't imagine that this new version has much more to offer.

The Sorrow:
I loved Brawl.
Do I disagree with some of his points? Of course.
Do I think less of him or think that he's not a reviewer? No.
His opinion, his reviews.
If all of you fanboys feel so strongly, start your own hilarious weekly game reviews.
Oh, wait, you can't, because you're nowhere near as awesome as Yahtzee.
Grow up, kiddies.

Agreed on all points. Brawl isn't the best game in the world, far from it, but it's fun to play with a bunch of guys and a 24 pack of beer, I'll tell you what! But the fanboys who kept emailing him to review the game obviously didn't pay attention to the fact that Yahtzee has stated in several prior reviews his disdain for Nintendo's penchant of dead-horse-beating and fighting games. They really should have seen this coming.

I definitely think that Yahtzee has won the discussion with the end of his latest video. :) Sounds like he tried it some more and still doesn't like it. The thing to remember is that these are opinion pieces. At least he has the decency not to say that these are his "humble" opinions. Keep 'em comin' Ben!

Fine. Now how about everyone have themselves a nice foaming mug of Shut the Fuck Up and we call this a day?

great review

transcript again for easy finding
Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Mmmehhhh.... I really haven't been looking forward to this. Last week I accidentally left my copy of this game in a friends' console, and I was genuinely pleased. It meant I could review Condemned 2 instead, a game I actually had some interest in. But there comes a time when we all must pay the piper and eat shit waffles. I don't even know why I'm reviewing this game. Oh wait, yes I do, because you dip shits wouldn't stop crying about it. So I was able to defy the ghettoization ofAustralian gamers and acquire an import copy of the game due to the charity of some guys at GAMETRADERS ROBINA. Which you should probably visit because, GAME TRADERS ROBINA is your one stop shop for games and the trading there of, in Robina.

Now, I'm fully aware that SSBB is primarily a multiplayer game, and that I can't get away with my usual routine of only playing the single player and attempting weakly to rationalize my fear and disgust of other human beings. So this time I took this game, which was indecently sent to me by GAMETRADERS ROBINA, over to MY FRIEND GUY'S HOUSE, to try it out with a bunch of other man children with no prior understanding or interest in Smash Bros. to see how it held up. And the result, a resounding EHH....

I've never liked most fighting games because I argue there's got to be something wrong with a game in which you can spend fifteen years practicing and learning every slightest nuance and still lose to someone randomly smashing buttons. At our grouping, for example, maybe since only one of us was boring enough to read the manual, our death matches could probably been faithfully recreated by hurling the controllers down a flight of stairs. But even if we all had gotten our PHD's in wave bird bitch slapping. The fights descended easily into incomprehensible cluster fucks. The characters are so small and the camera zooms out so far, and most of the attacks are such particle effect maelstroms, that they might as well just obscure all the action with billowing dust clouds, like in the beano.

But maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way. Maybe this isn't a game intended to be played seriously, perhaps I should just be embracing the spectacle. And I must confess, engineering a scenario in which, Mario can brutally beat the stupid out of Princess Peach while the crowd screams for blood, is very satisfying. And it would be pretty sweet to watch solid Snake get Sonic the Hedgehog into an arm lock and slit his throat. Oh wait, we can't can we, because those characters aren't unlocked straight away. I hate it when multiplayer games do this. You bring a hot new unreleased to a party and you're the toast of the evening. Until you discover that half the fucking content has to be unlocked in single player, and then the toast of the evening becomes a damp square of cold mush. I mean I know that video game developers are all hopeless social rejects. But surely they've at least gone to one party in their life, even if it involved pass the parcel.

Get this: if you want to be playing as everyone's favorite azure attention deficit woodland mammal. You have to play for ten cunt gargling hours. Well we didn't have ten vagina swelling hours. We had one vodka filled evening, most of which we probably wouldn't even remember the following morning. Considering, lest we forget, how prominently Snake and Sonic featured in the fucking hype, there really needs to be a law against this sort of thing. Preferably one of those maritime laws that lead to someone getting tied to a mast and flogged.

But I suppose if you're hosting the party and have time to prepare, you could always embrace your pathetic friendlessness and go through the single player campaign, which a surprising amount of work has gone into actually. It's a side scrolling action platform extRRRRavaganza, with free rendered cinematics up the ass, that play like visualizations of the top ten most sickening Nintendo fan fiction circle jerks. And it goes on for bloody HOURS, mainly because the pull the old bullshit of making you go through all the levels twice and considering that they're already pretty fucking samey, it deserves some kind of prize for services to pointless repetition. Fuck solid Snake, they should let you unlock Bill Murray.

Of course, the problem with playing it alone, is that when you finally do get your mates around, suddenly you've turned into THAT GUY. Don't pretend you don't know what I mean. THAT GUY who's so much better then everyone else at the game, because he plays it on his own, the loser. Suddenly you're not in it for fun anymore, and the goolish grins of your uncoordinated friends fill you with contempt. Soon you seek out other THAT GUY's for the sake of a decent challenge. And then you're lost. You're a fanboy. Congratulations, line up for your free t-shirt and cat ears. Actually that doesn't happen so much with Smash Bros. Brawl, because as we've already established there's only so good you can get at slapping your palms against the controller like a circus seal.

As I've said, time and again, Nintendo is a company that does altogether too much wanking off of its old franchises. That might be fine while the Wii is riding high, but all it will take is a few more virtual boys and they'll wank the whole company away. Some of it gets really obscure too. Who the fuck is Marth? And why is unlocking him considered a reward. Oh and thanks Nintendo for putting in a character from Mother 3. A game you're never going to fucking release outside of Japan. Despite the fact that I can fucking guarantee that more people will play it then Mario Kart eleventy billion the next generation. But really, reviewing Smash Bross Brawl is pointless. Chances are you already know if you like it. There's a simple test. When the name "Nintendo Wii" was first revealed, did you ever seriously try to defend it on an internet forum? If yes, you will enjoy this game whatever it's faults and you might as well start spamming my email address with hatred right now you miserable fanboy twat.

Simon_TR:

xanrethan:
Wow. I could only read about 5 pages of this and already I want to puke.

Clearly Yahtzee has won. The incessant fanboy posters, making flimsy ad hominem arguments in some misguided hope that they can make Yahtzee or his viewers "see the light" into his bias is making me seriously nauseous.

How can someone hope to defend a mediocre game by saying things like "he wasn't fair in his review" or that his "bias affected the review" etc etc seriously?? He rips on games, get over it! If it were truly spectacular, he would be left in awe, but he wasn't, was he? He hated the Phantom Hourglass, but I loved it, and I didn't feel the need to correct him.

1000 comments on this one movie, amid groupings of 200, It's obvious Yahtzee hit close to home. I only hope he can review some others to inflame other fanboy groups. Someone with a nonsensical no-nonsense approach to reviewing is hilarious to watch, and the comments after especially good movies about especially mediocre to bad games are just as hilarious if not moreso.

Which 5 pages did you read? Were they the first 5 that was like watching Yahtzee getting sucked off by all too eager fanboys or the last 5 that was like watching a person suffering from multiple personality disorder argue amongst himself?

I think you should have posted during the first 5 pages...

Well, post for post the first five. But by the looks of it, ad hominem continues to the last 5 too, so my argument is still valid.

Hai, what's going on in here?

image

Mr.Phuckyou:

NezumiiroKitsune:
Heh-heh-heh 10 cunt gargling hours, love it. I don't wanna read any of this, I'm allergic to stupid uninformed fanboy ranting. Now I'm going to comment the NEW video. I highly suggest you delicate buttercups (wii fanboys) drop this and go do the same before you drown in pool of your own articulate diarrhea.

Anyone trying to defend Yahtzee or otherwise dissuade the fanboys through well structured argument, don't involve yourselves, you cannot satiate a fanboys lust for his own mawing attempts at being acknowledged, simply to force feed you there inconsistent and hopeless propaganda.

People like Mr.Phuckyou should be banned off the Internet for life. Oh yes I own a PS3 :)

lol i guess i lied about coming back! uh oh ur fucked now! and i wasn't going to respond until i saw this guy, who thinks he's smart using all his long words and calling me oblivous, and then later on down leaving saying he's done and then off to bed in a 'oh yeah! i told THAT guy!' sort of way. well after i read that last part of u saying u own a PS3? that's where i pretty much said 'oh... well no wonder you talk shit about brawl, u wish u had it.' dont u judge me along with that other guy saying i should have read the earlier posts. brawl is a success idc if Yahtzee's joking or not, i think ur a PS3 fanboy wat about that huh? really ur just a hopeless fanboy who wish sony made good games. and dont bother with GTA4 or whatever it's all garbage. Wii outscores PS3 and 360 in everyway except graphics too bad that doesnt make a real game, it only helps. So YOU'RE oblivious, AND you play shitty games... Let's all ban this inarticulate diarrhea douchefuck dickhead instead. (hows THAT for alliteration bitch?)

Two things:

Everything you have just accused Nezumiiro of is something you are also guilty of, and he, for the most part, is not, at least not to a strong degree. All you're doing is making an even bigger spectacle.

The second thing is that I'm sorry for postponing this thread by something unrelated to SSBB or Yahtzee. So... how 'bout that limiting stage builder, eh? Anyone find any glitches yet?

WTF?!?!? Over one thousand posts in one week? Yahtzee sure knows how to piss off the fanboys.

cutekittenkyti what the hell possessed you to make such a long post?!

bluemarsman:
WTF?!?!? Over one thousand posts in one week? Yahtzee sure knows how to piss off the fanboys.

The arguments kinda died at around 700...we just aimed for 1,000 :D

IMO, this was more of a rant at Nintendo than a review of SSBB.

ElArabDeMagnifico:
cutekittenkyti what the hell possessed you to make such a long post?!

someone posts the transcript of each ZP almost every week. although this one was kinda late. why do they do it? i have no clue, but i like it, and occasionally find them useful.

geez.. 30 pages of arguing over SSBB and Yahtzee's hatred of it (and it's fanboys), which was clearly stated at the beginning of the rant.. er.. review. i haven't played much SSB so i have no opinion either way, but i know Yahtzee has been on the mark with many games. however on occasion he'll overlook things when his lack of interest in it won't allow for a real review.

Mr.Phuckyou:
wasn't going to respond until i saw this guy, who thinks he's smart using all his long words

i didn't find any of the words that he used to be over the top. 'inconsistent', 'propaganda'... these aren't really brain busters.

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