Zero Punctuation: God of War: Chains of Olympus

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This one was rather "Meh" (a word I can't fucking illustrate!) - but hey, had its moments.

Hah! I loved the review. Also loved the part mentioning girlfriends wanting to f*** you. :P

Nice review the animation of the videos is getting funnier.

I watch these reviews for three good reasons.

1.) Yathzee's Sense of humor
2.) Excellent and right to the point reviews with a 70% accurate Ratio
3.) To see the top one or two people get banned for posting YAY FIRST or so on and so on.

Decent review Yathzee.

WTF is what Imp doing with that one horn? LMAO!!!!!!!!

Digikid:

3.) To see the top one or two people get banned for posting YAY FIRST or so on and so on.

The only time the ban was ever worth it is for the people on the SSBB review, unless there is a GTAIV one or MGS4 one, then those will also be huge and possibly worth a ban to have you grave dug right into the first comment of an epic ZP.

Another hilarious review with tits.

I assume you will be forced to criticize Grand Theft Auto soon? I'm sorry.

To any of the ZP fans reading this: Was anyone else peeved by the horrible way G4 went along with the early Zero Punctuation viewing?

I found this rather true at some points, as I have played the other god of wars, including this one. The storyline seems to generally stick to what you said, as do the weapons you get in some ways. It was a good review, not one of the best ones, but ok. The only thing that bugged me is that you missed some of the rather obvious good points in the game, even in the first level, you have the unexpected attack as you try to lift a door (a common practice in the other god of war games) which I found hilarious, also you missed a certain mini-game as others have stated, that I am also surprised at. I liked the comment that it was like a ballet of fighting, becuase essentially it is.

as a personal opinion on god of war, the only thing that bothers me is unlockables, after getting them, you dont feel like playing as the mime of war or Mckratos or the spud of war as you have just used alot of time, and suffered through tons of frustration, that its like beating a classic game for the sake of beating it. Anyways thats all for now

But if you're one of those girlfriends of viewers who don't actually play games but likes watching these videos anyway because they secretly want to fuck me

Fuck, outed.

PrimeZero2:
What? No complaining about QTEs?

That's exactly what I expected to hear. I kept thinking, "At any moment, I'm going to hear about how this game features 'God of War style simon says button mashing sequences... Wait! This is God of War!'" Anyway, eveyything he said about the game is true, seeing as the only really useful Magic is the area of affect magic in every game.

Loved the review.
One scary bit though; when he says at the end, "eat that Brian Payne lets see how many deadlegs" etc, I got kinda scared because Brian Payne is my Chemistry teacher!
I dunno, maybe scared isnt the right word, but...I'll never see him in the same way again.

By the way, Brian Payne is a massive *expletive deleted*, and it wouldnt surprise me if he was a bully.

Needless to say I'll be asking him tomorrow if he knew a "Ben Croshaw" :P

Y'know, where are all these girls coming from? Do girls play or even care about video games now? This isn't some sort of sick joke, is it? You ARE real people, right?

hmm quite a good review, I like the idea of sticking chained artifacts into things and out again, although I wish the storyline wasnt so dry

Another stellar review (even if it was a bit short, but then again so is the game so what do want). BTW the "F*ck You" button is easily the greatest sequel to the obligatory "Panic button, easily blowing the Office Max "Easy" button clear out of the watter... then out of the sky. I really wish I hadn't used the words easy and easily in the same sentence, I guess I could have used handily, but I'll just push the "F*ck You" button instead (see how great that works).

Slightly disappointed here, yet again, as when I saw it, I was hoping he would treat us to some Judas Priest (Take These Chains?)

The series does sort of spit in the face of established Mythology, its true, but really, whats more fun - hacking through these rather inteeligent one-eyed creatures by the truckload, or tearing the eye right out of the socket of a brick shithouse?

Oh, and -Spartan Warriors wore armour. He's not a Spartan Warrior anymore, but a mortal with his soul in debt to the gods.

Oh good, you decided to review a game for which you actually like the genre and with it came back your usual standards.

This just in, you suck when your review games from outside your genre tastes, so stay away from fighting games and JRPGs.

144:
Y'know, where are all these girls coming from? Do girls play or even care about video games now? This isn't some sort of sick joke, is it? You ARE real people, right?

girls play games i had a mate who had a g/f who would play racin games and she would join in on the soul calibur fightin ring altho was very annoyin picked klik all the time and would use an unavoidable move all the fecking time but then i picked siegfreed (i kno i spelt it wrong)and impaled the bitch on my huge sword eeewwwww

Nice review yahtzee. I actually never played a GoW game, and, concidering I've sold my ps2 and the psp is gathering dust in a dark corner of my cuboard (most money I've ever wasted that thing) I doubt I ever will, till that sword wielding pysco makes the slow painful transition from the glorious if elderly ps2 to the money grabbing technological monster that is next gen

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Yahtzee but this is about the third review where he has pronounced a word, if not incorrectly, then in a way I've never heard before.

I can't remember the other two times but in this case it was "respite" which I have always heard pronounced RE - SPITE (same way as "spiteful") rather than RE_SPIT (same way as "spit at someone")

And I don't think its a cultural thing, as I'm English. Unless it's an Ozzie thing and he has been there too long?

I'm genuinely curious, not a troll. Yahtzee is the man, as proved by the "clumsily finger a robot prostitute" line.

annoyingnitpicker:
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Yahtzee but this is about the third review where he has pronounced a word, if not incorrectly, then in a way I've never heard before.

I can't remember the other two times but in this case it was "respite" which I have always heard pronounced RE - SPITE (same way as "spiteful") rather than RE_SPIT (same way as "spit at someone")

And I don't think its a cultural thing, as I'm English. Unless it's an Ozzie thing and he has been there too long?

I'm genuinely curious, not a troll. Yahtzee is the man, as proved by the "clumsily finger a robot prostitute" line.

who cares? apart from you?

An excellent and most amusing review, as usual i enjoyed it thoroughly. Me and Ellen discussed the possibility she watches only because she has an underlying desire to fuck Yahtzee. We agreed that's probably the reason we both watch them ;) Oh yes :P

I made a comment on the structuring of your reviews but I doubt you read these personally he who is Yahtzee judge of pwnsome, hand of +10 review, and you certainly are now making a mental note never to read anything posted by me again after that. Well this week its still on form, structured well, points clearly made, and jokes (however true) understood and well written flowing with the rest of the review. Quite a few small text witticisms in this review which gives it almost as much replay value as SSBB, Condemned 2, or Burnout Legends :) Burnout Legends by far, my favourite, on the basis of it making me laugh until I needed punching. I believe the twist on reality of it, making everything appear exaggerated yet true to an extent of "How did I not notice this before?!", having all along known there were no people apart from this DJ Atomica in the game but regardless having it portrayed in such a way that it makes you view it in the light you placed it in, made it ceaselessly amusing. I suppose I'm trying to say, remarks of the frailty of logic and truths twisted in an extremely exaggerated way are very funny :) All the best :)

NKitsune

Xenoveritas:

menhir:
Does GTA really need another review from anyone on this planet? Crisis Core would be good, though.

Quicky Crisis Core rev

Modulating Phase
7 2 7!

iew: the story is completely incomprehensible unle

Modulating Phase
1 4 1!

ss you've played Final Fantasy VII, and the co

Modulating Phase
3 3 3!
Power Surge!

mbat keeps on getting interrupted by the stupid DMW. Even if it winds up coming up with nothing.

So if you want to continue the story of Final Fantasy VII, remember who Zack is, and understand the relationship between JENOVA and Sephiroth, go for it.

Otherwise, stay far, far away.

Fantastic, just what I was after! :) Jobs a good 'un.

"who cares? apart from you?"

This is the internet, it's so full of trolls, grammar nazis and other people with nothing better to do, that surely someone else cares?

That's why I posted to see if I had been saying "respite" wrong all these years.

Another question might be "If you don't care, then why did you take the time to reply to me?"

Yahtzee you're getting SO predictable.

I was over at Kotaku and I saw your COO review posted and immediately I thought, "Ok lemme guess ... I'm gonna click this video and be thoroughly entertained for the following few minutes. I'm going to watch it multiple times, chuckle through the whole thing and laugh out loud at least three or four times, and there will be at least one OMG HE DIDNT'T JUST SAY THAT moment."

As always I thoroughly enjoyed the post and laughed my knob off, and this is getting quite tedious. You need to break up this pattern of constant humor and originality. Try repeating yourself, ripping off GameSpot, or just simply posting a ZP that sucks!!! Did you ever think of that?

So yea ... try a few reviews that absolutely suck ... you need a few curves in the road ...

NezumiiroKitsune:
An excellent and most amusing review, as usual i enjoyed it thoroughly. Me and Ellen discussed the possibility she watches only because she has an underlying desire to fuck Yahtzee. We agreed that's probably the reason we both watch them ;) Oh yes :P

I made a comment on the structuring of your reviews but I doubt you read these personally he who is Yahtzee judge of pwnsome, hand of +10 review, and you certainly are now making a mental note never to read anything posted by me again after that. Well this week its still on form, structured well, points clearly made, and jokes (however true) understood and well written flowing with the rest of the review. Quite a few small text witticisms in this review which gives it almost as much replay value as SSBB, Condemned 2, or Burnout Legends :) Burnout Legends by far, my favourite, on the basis of it making me laugh until I needed punching. I believe the twist on reality of it, making everything appear exaggerated yet true to an extent of "How did I not notice this before?!", having all along known there were no people apart from this DJ Atomica in the game but regardless having it portrayed in such a way that it makes you view it in the light you placed it in, made it ceaselessly amusing. I suppose I'm trying to say, remarks of the frailty of logic and truths twisted in an extremely exaggerated way are very funny :) All the best :)

NKitsune

duh wrong quote we have ourselves a yahtzee fanboy nearly said nazi

annoyingnitpicker:
"who cares? apart from you?"

This is the internet, it's so full of trolls, grammar nazis and other people with nothing better to do, that surely someone else cares?

That's why I posted to see if I had been saying "respite" wrong all these years.

Another question might be "If you don't care, then why did you take the time to reply to me?"

because i have nothin better to do or thought you should know because everyone else would just ignore you and i'm nice and dont ignore people no matter how annoyin or nit picky

Lzdarkangel:

NezumiiroKitsune:
An excellent and most amusing review, as usual i enjoyed it thoroughly. Me and Ellen discussed the possibility she watches only because she has an underlying desire to fuck Yahtzee. We agreed that's probably the reason we both watch them ;) Oh yes :P

I made a comment on the structuring of your reviews but I doubt you read these personally he who is Yahtzee judge of pwnsome, hand of +10 review, and you certainly are now making a mental note never to read anything posted by me again after that. Well this week its still on form, structured well, points clearly made, and jokes (however true) understood and well written flowing with the rest of the review. Quite a few small text witticisms in this review which gives it almost as much replay value as SSBB, Condemned 2, or Burnout Legends :) Burnout Legends by far, my favourite, on the basis of it making me laugh until I needed punching. I believe the twist on reality of it, making everything appear exaggerated yet true to an extent of "How did I not notice this before?!", having all along known there were no people apart from this DJ Atomica in the game but regardless having it portrayed in such a way that it makes you view it in the light you placed it in, made it ceaselessly amusing. I suppose I'm trying to say, remarks of the frailty of logic and truths twisted in an extremely exaggerated way are very funny :) All the best :)

NKitsune

duh wrong quote we have ourselves a yahtzee fanboy nearly said nazi

Heh close, English Language student :P If I happen to watch alot of Yahtzee all the merrier.

yeah but treatin him like a god like figure is not cool its just incredibly sad as is us all posting our comments but you've entered another world of sad

I laughed so much at 2:15 ("girlfriends") I had to wind back and watch it again before continuing.

Thank you for another Wednesday afternoon's entertainment, and incidentally for showing a keen understanding of what makes GoW (any of them, like you said) such over-the-top bloody-minded fun.

Lzdarkangel:
yeah but treatin him like a god like figure is not cool its just incredibly sad as is us all posting our comments but you've entered another world of sad

/hug

There there, we all love you, just let it out. Let it all out.

Great review as always. Loving the final comment in the credits as well

NezumiiroKitsune:

Lzdarkangel:
yeah but treatin him like a god like figure is not cool its just incredibly sad as is us all posting our comments but you've entered another world of sad

/hug

There there, we all love you, just let it out. Let it all out.

lols i'm right tho i mean we could all be sleeping or even playin our favourite games or even go out into the big wide world but that might be a little scary for some of you you might need someone to hold your hand so i nominate NezumiiroKitsune to go around the world holdin peoples hand when they step out there front door for the first time in a long time.

TheDarkArchon:

Garfgarog:
Good Yahtzee, nothing like trolling people to make sure you get more attention.

Nah, he just likes the solid gold reactions from the fanboys.

Being a dick to get a reaction is the definition of trolling. And before everybody screams "ZOMG HE CALLED YAHTZEE A DICK HE'S A FANBOY." Come on. I mean, honestly. Look at the stuff he says. He's a dick. Is that a bad thing? No, it's what entertains us in the first place. We like his searing opinions (so long as they're eloquently stated usually), but that does not change the fact that much of what he does is dickish, and to go even a stop farther, that many of his actions are simply trolling on a pretty grand scale. It's quite beautiful actually.

I only really laughed at the Smash Bros comment but it was worth it.

the_importer:
Oh good, you decided to review a game for which you actually like the genre and with it came back your usual standards.

This just in, you suck when your review games from outside your genre tastes, so stay away from fighting games and JRPGs.

Actually, I believe his review on brawl was more funny, more witty and more about the game than this week's.

As for people with sore bums that have persisted from last week, Brawl isn't good. It's just kinda funny that he was generally positive in his connotations about a "meh" game this week.

Keep'm comin', Yahtzee, but we all secretly await more liquid hatred in internet movie format.

This was funnier than the last review, but still a bit behind the rest, imo.

I haven't ever played a god of war game so I can't comment on the review part.

I laughed out loud at the "Brawl still shit" comment. Yahtzee you fucking Trollbag!

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