Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto IV

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Personally, I think the driving is awesome and a whole lot easier. Maybe because I can actually drive in real life, or maybe because my hands are well-trained after all that wankin- erm, I mean, gaming. Shut up. You're ugly.

The combat was also greatly improved, especially with the cover system. There aren't enough weapons, though. San Andreas was awesome with it's weapons, especially the godly katana, which I also wanke- I mean, used a lot.

I miss the planes, and there's only a handful of helicopters...

Putting the cellphone on "sleep mode" is really useful for when you feel like going on homicidal rampages with a scooter and two black gang members to shoot their crap weapons at random people.

And god damn Rockstar for taking away the vehicle customization they had in San Andreas, that was awesome! Especially now that all the cars have random accessories which now you can't add on yourself, so you're stuck driving your own vehicle around, looking for the same vehicle you're driving but with a spoiler or flood-lights or a wankin- I mean, soda machine.

And is it really so much to ask for the Pay N' Spray to let you choose the damned color you want to use? I mean, honestly, it's annoying as hell. I ended up just using cheat codes to fix my cars so I didn't have to spend 15 days just trying to get the old color back on my car, only to have to redo it all again when I back up into some random car.

And why are there two Perseus shops? Seriously, we only need one, and the least you could have done was NOT clone the NPC's. I wouldn't have minded another store with beach-wear or things like that... Did anybody else notice that all of the shirts and pants are long, so you can't see your legs or arms or chest or anything like that? What, too lazy to make a full body model?

All in all, this game seems like it was released before they could finish it. It needs more polishing, more content, a longer main story, more weapons, more safehouses...
That reminds me; Why the hell are there so few safehouses?! You could at least give us the asshole Pegorino's large mansion-house thing after he gets his brains blown out (in both endings, booyah). For fucks sake, Playboy X's penthouse gets old.

Again: It just needs more everything. More weapons, more vehicles, more clothes(especially more glasses, although Niko in the suit with a red tie and the black suit-shoes and the glasses is wank- I mean, praise worthy.), more safehouses, more missions, longer main story, and a ton of other things that San Andreas had, like fucking customizable cars!

P.S.: PS3 "marshmallow" trigger is awesome, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Though I will give you that the SIXAXIS sucks.

Although I dig GTA4, it does have allot to make fun of: missing stuff likely to show up as DLC, lack of rewards, many interiors of random places while places you hang out have none...

Yahtzee complains about things sometimes I couldn't imagine anyone caring about which is fine when it's funny and there isn't anything else to complain about.

This video is brilliant.

This game is ok. i only like doing some stuff like killing people, killing cops, driving and killing,etc. The missions to me are boring as shit.

i was very bored by the first missions, so i did what he did and went crazy, stole cars, and kill a shit load of people. but i hated that tree thing. how could a hummer driving 120 not knock a tree down???

Is it just me or does it take years for the videos to load!!!

Sorry for necro but this guy just doesn't get the idea of a sandbox game.

Fantastic review ! thanks yahtzee!

You really should put these on iTunes, in a podcast form or something--this is genius stuff.

The cops in this game must be cops from Elmhurst, IL... from what I've heard.

This is an interesting discussion.. thank you for sharing.

pret auto

I really like GTA4 the only thing I did not like was people would call during missions yo ask you to go bowling and worst part i had drive to them to pick them why couldn't i just meet them at the place.

Other than that the game is spot on

Wowza, they have edited the final joke?

Wonky-tonk badonk!

Nintendoholic:
Wonky-tonk badonk!

I just knew in my head that this would happen sooner or later...

pingnak:
Loved the review.
The game's crashed on me a few times. Don't know if it's my not having the 360 connected to the internet up to pick up patches, or the 'Ring Of Death' coming back, or if I've finally worn out the DVD drive. Probably just my two year 'old' console wearing out on me from mostly collecting dust between game releases of any consequence.

It's crashed a few times for me too, but only because I have a used copy and I was playing a lot. Oddly both times it crashed I was driving in an ice-cream truck :/

And the best way to get an epic cop chase is to try and drive to one of the island you're not supposed to get to yet, which gives you an instant six-star rating. There's also a fake CP site that gives you the same thing if you access it.

Well Done monsieur necromancer!

OT: Driving the icecream truck, you can play its jingle, one of which is the GTA IV theme tune, drive it backwards whilst this tune is on for a few seconds and it unlocks something, apparently a cheat, but I don't use them so I don't know, I only found out because I noticed the speed of the jingle is directly proportionate to the speed at which you drive

How bout Grand Theft Silent Hill? fnarrz

Great game, too bad the PC version was a shitty port.

Megadeth747:
Is it just me or does it take years for the videos to load!!!

It's the opposite for me, when my computer is running a virus scan, or whatever, and my internet is slow, I always go on to The Escapist cos zero punctuation takes no time at all to load.
You must have god-awful internet or something.

HURRAY!
Serbian National Anthem as the beginning music!
I feel 1/10th better knowing this!

Wow, I have to say I'm surprised Ben gave out one of his rare positive reviews (at least more positive than negative) on GTA IV. I personally can't take more than 30 minutes of it at a time unless my friends are in the mood to fuck around. Nothing says "loyalty" like jumping out of a helicopter onto a roof while your buddy in the passenger's seat falls to his death.
ps I couldn't help but notice that 4 users were banned on the first page alone. I hope my reply is sufficient!

Nico is John Freeman? This game makes so much more sense now!

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