Zero Punctuation: Grand Theft Auto IV

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RetiarySword:
Very good, I had being refreshing my brower because I'm bored.

Me too. The alternative was studying for exams.

... I am weak.

Loved the review thingy. Didn't catch what you said at the end, though. "GTA"... what?

Shame about the whole losing thing. That happens in Vice City, I discovered (today. Several times), but only if you have one star. Two or more, and you can't shake the bastards. You can, however, run RAMPANT in the police station on the first island with nary a problem. Except for simulation-breaking, respawning policeman.

Grand Theft Biggleswade! funniest review ever - nice one Y

Oh, and as you all love it so much, my most recent topical gaming post concerns HOW NOT TO USE EUPHORIA IN YOUR 3D GAME.

M

Great review.. this was great, only Yahtzee could describe what I felt about this game, rather than just follow the "OH MY GOD IT'S SO GLORIOUS" crowd. I couldn't agree more with the negative points you made. GTA:IV disappointed me in so many ways, Yahtzee of course explained them perfectly..

But of course it's still a damn fine game, so I'm gonna go play it now.

Thanks Yahtzee for another great review.

Learn how to drive geese? Shoot from a tyrannosaurus? Classic.

Great points on the crawl to realism, gritty gameplay is what made Grand Theft Auto great.

Bang on the money, I guess, specifically the bit about the missions being constant tutorials. That's a recurring theme with the GTA's since it went 3D, but I guess it has to be that way when you're aiming for the lowest common denominator (MATHS). Damn commies.

Still a great game though, perhaps Rockstar could have waited till after my exams though? Especially since I live in the same city as the developers. I applied for games tester! They didn't get back to me. Bastards.

i think you right about its getting too realistic (thats how you spell it)
anyhow it still an awesome game i love that you can play a terroist by holding the grenade untill it goes boom on you ass and sends you aflying yay for that!

Tree's the biggest killers in all video games. Also they need to stop adding more and more things in the games slowly turning into a gaint training mission for one big mission XD. Thanks again for slugging out another great review

agerdemon:
Why do people keep on banning people who comment first, get a life just let them comment.

They're being banned because the video is 4:28 long, and their comments showed up only 2 minutes after Yahtzee posted his review, meaning that they didn't actually see the thing (at least not in its entirety) - they just wanted first comment. In any case, I really enjoyed this one, as always, thank you to Yahtzee and ZP for being pretty much the only reason to actually look forward to Wednesday. I have no plans to play this game, mostly because I don't play sandbox games on principle because of the fear that I'll stop doing anything else, but I've been looking forward to a review that actually pointed out some faults - All I've seen so far are 10/10s with no mention of fault (a little unbelievable) or some fanboy claiming that the whole game is awful because they don't have an XBox or a PS3.

Has Russ kidnapped Yahtzee? What is going on?

Yay for Dinosaurs.

Heh. Well I guess that was entertaining, more than I'm gonna get out of GTA IV itself anyway.

windfish:

agerdemon:
Why do people keep on banning people who comment first, get a life just let them comment.

They're being banned because the video is 4:28 long, and their comments showed up only 2 minutes after Yahtzee posted his review, meaning that they didn't actually see the thing (at least not in its entirety) - they just wanted first comment. In any case, I really enjoyed this one, as always, thank you to Yahtzee and ZP for being pretty much the only reason to actually look forward to Wednesday. I have no plans to play this game, mostly because I don't play sandbox games on principle because of the fear that I'll stop doing anything else, but I've been looking forward to a review that actually pointed out some faults - All I've seen so far are 10/10s with no mention of fault (a little unbelievable) or some fanboy claiming that the whole game is awful because they don't have an XBox or a PS3.

Ok cheers then there are dicks for commenting and boring for wanting to be first.

In the main, good calls on all gameplay elements. The slow pace and lack of engagement with the story are the hijackers that slipped onto the Airbus 380 that is GTA IV.

Well done on clocking that flying through the windscreen is the pair of rubber vehicular dogs bollocks, even if you failed to mention that drinking and driving have been taken to a whole new level of auto-defecating fun that new hardware was made for.

The only other point I'd add is that, in a vast act of refined parody that exceeds the lame script and voice acting, the police rarely give much of a toss what you do until you doing something that looks a bit, well, terroristy. Then they go six-star bananas. Thank you DMA Rockstar.

I still get the urge to buy and play it whenever I see the commercial on the telly.

shock! what has mr. pitts done with yahtzee?!

Finally, a review that accurately points out the nit-picky things of gta4, but still fother mucking fun nonetheless.

(btw has anyone else noticed the Hammer of Ban has been struck quite a bit in this forum?)

YEAH BABY!! YEAH!!!! Just posting on my excitement for watching this. You made me wait a whole week with that mailbag trash.

GIMME GIMME GIMMME

Odd to hear you say that even after reviewed the game you'll continue to play it. Unfortunatly I don't have a next gen console.

I only ever used GTA as a "see how many stars i can get this time" game.

Wait... he liked it? I shouldn't try and return it to my local HMV (EB having betrayed me most heinously by dropping the ball on my Persona 3 FES preorder)? This is strange... so very strange.

Loved the review.

As always, GTA is controller-busting frustration and fun. I haven't gotten too far into the game, what with having a 'real job' to do. Well, OK, not a 'real job'. Just something people pay me for that's time consuming. Like prostitution.

The game's crashed on me a few times. Don't know if it's my not having the 360 connected to the internet up to pick up patches, or the 'Ring Of Death' coming back, or if I've finally worn out the DVD drive. Probably just my two year 'old' console wearing out on me from mostly collecting dust between game releases of any consequence.

Very amusing review, top notch stuff, laughed out loud constantly, especially at Grand Theft Normal Boring Life XD Sixaxis hahaha oh i cannot wait to give that a go, it should make for some giggles or controller to wall arm action. Press X repeatedly to exaggerate financial standing XD lmao Excellent.

You can ride geese? I want GTA4 :'( FFS

Best review yet? I'm still partial to Psychonauts and Burnout Paradise reviews, but this is still a gleaming pinnacle of Yahtzee induced satire at its best.

Fallout guy agrees :D

blacknar ragmane:
shock! what has mr. pitts done with yahtzee?!

Finally, a review that accurately points out the nit-picky things of gta4, but still fother mucking fun nonetheless.

(btw has anyone else noticed the Hammer of Ban has been struck quite a bit in this forum?)

I knew the Escapist would pull it out as soon as I saw there were about 4 comments right after it was posted. Let all who comment a 4 minute video after 2 minutes of uptime be shunned

Ahh, I was really touched by the ending message. Bless Yahtzee's stammering little socks. Awww.

Srsly, I'd play GTA: Biggleswade. Fucking A.

agerdemon:
Why do people keep on banning people who comment first, get a life just let them comment.

I couldn't agree more.
I can't help but wonder if commenting on a ZP episode is a deadly sin in some twisted, obscure version of reality, and now I'm actually afraid to add my own comment.
Anyway, awesome review. As every single one of its predecessors, it repeatedly sent me both laughing and - more frequently - scuttling off to the dictionary, and mind you, I regard that as a good thing.

8th

This guy really wanted to be banned, huh?

hmm yahtzee was rather quick to label Niko as Serbian. that's what i thought at first but later on in the missions (NOT A SPOILER) i remember him being called a slovak by a certain colourful character

krashdummy:

agerdemon:
Why do people keep on banning people who comment first, get a life just let them comment.

I couldn't agree more.
I can't help but wonder if commenting on a ZP episode is a deadly sin in some twisted, obscure version of reality, and now I'm actually afraid to add my own comment.
Anyway, awesome review. As every single one of its predecessors, it repeatedly sent me both laughing and - more frequently - scuttling off to the dictionary, and mind you, I regard that as a good thing.

The people who are banned have clearly not watched the video yet and are posting for the glory of being first.

Excellent, and the inclusion of Skid Row at the end...... pure awesome

I hear some people complain that the missions get to repetitive, but hasnt that always been the case with GTA games, oh well loved the review and definitely the game. Although its rather odd having every other mission be a "chase this guy and then kill him" mission.

Jelly_man:

The people who are banned have clearly not watched the video yet and are posting for the glory of being first.

That makes no sense, why would anybody in their right mind do tha- ... oh. I believe I just answered my own question.

good review, too bad that i haven't play the game yet.
also Yeah!!!!!!!!! no mario kart wii review

If you look in the police database, they list Niko and Roman's nationality as "unknown".

On the tree topic, I remember the game Mercenaries had the same phenomenon. Is there some sort of obscure law that requires invincible trees, like the whole "violence and pandas" thing I heard about once?

lol brill ^_^

krashdummy:

Jelly_man:

The people who are banned have clearly not watched the video yet and are posting for the glory of being first.

That makes no sense, why would anybody in their right mind do tha- ... oh. I believe I just answered my own question.

Oh yeah there all within 2 minutes. That explains it. I thought the admins had just found the old ban shotgun, and had some fun taking shots at passers by. Bravo, very astute mods/admins etc.

fanrock51:
good review, too bad that i haven't play the game yet.
also Yeah!!!!!!!!! no mario kart wii review

I have to ask you, were you really expecting a Mario Kart review after the SSBB one?
I was sure the SSBB review had pretty much erased every little speck of doubt in our minds that Yahtzee hates the main Nintendo franchise with a passion.

amazing review especially with the T-Rex thing
honestly though i never had a problem with the six axis thing
maybe its just yahtzee

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