Zero Punctuation: Painkiller

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twilight_dweller:

Garfgarog:

twilight_dweller:
Huh, and here I was looking forward to a "The World Ends With You" review.

You must be new here.

Not really. But your concern is touching.

I mean that.

Well... Yathzee reviewing TWEWY would be fun... I mean this game offers a couple of serious flaws as mentioned here ( http://www.moddb.com/forum/thread/so-the-world-ends-with-you-eh#481869 ) :D . Although he hates JRPG... that said... this game doesn't deserve the name RPG since it's more like a failed attempt at RP :O

I've played the demo and already loved it to bits. Really, spiking things against walls is just f*cking A when you just had a really really bad day at school, and this game is an anger-vent like no other. Now pass me the full version and my family will notice I start swearing a lot less.
By the way, on a side note, I wonder what Yathzee will do with Spore when it comes out (I can only imagine 1 thing: Giant Walking Communist Penises of DooOOOOoom, I mean c'mon it's Yathzee, woohoo).

Interesting choice of review especially if people go seek out Painkiller, I've always thought this was an underrated game. I really enjoyed the all out violence which all works smoothly and is quite satisfying.

The replay value is surprisingly good as well, obviously there's the initial challenge to get all the tarot cards but the difficulty levels aren't just that the bad guys get tougher...instead on the top difficulty level you no longer get your health back on checkpoints and you don't get souls either which forces a different style of gameplay. Rather than go straight into the mobs and cut them all up with the painkiller as you can on lower difficulties you need a somewhat more strategic approach and good use of the Tarot cards can really make a difference.

Have to say though I though the expansion pack wasn't that good, tried to complete it twice but just got bored of it...it all looks much the same but it just didn't seem to have the same flow which made the original so enjoyable.

John

We get it Yahtzee! You like old-ish computer games... that doesn't mean you have to review them.

twilight_dweller:
Huh, and here I was looking forward to a "The World Ends With You" review.

Don't count on Yahtzee reviewing though. Didnt he said in one of the review that he hates J-RPGs?

TuxedoZombie:
We get it Yahtzee! You like old-ish computer games... that doesn't mean you have to review them.

That doesn't mean he can't, either.

lol the closing song, priceless

I have to admit, I knew next to nothing about Painkiller before watching the review. My only prior exposure to it was seeing it while browsing store shelves to find a coveted "game that doesn't suck". I think I passed up Painkiller because of the uninteresting box art, but now I sort of regret that decision. Yahtzee makes this game sound entertaining.

TuxedoZombie:
We get it Yahtzee! You like old-ish computer games... that doesn't mean you have to review them.

Yet when he reviews games he doesn't like just because everyone is emailing him requesting it they bitch about how "unfair" he was to the game.

Since when is a four year old game "old-ish"? A game doesn't have to be brand new to be reviewed. I'd prefer a review of an older game to a review of the Iron Man movie game, or whatever quarter of a century old franchise Nintendo is milking this week.

ProjectileVomit:

twilight_dweller:
Huh, and here I was looking forward to a "The World Ends With You" review.

Don't count on Yahtzee reviewing though. Didnt he said in one of the review that he hates J-RPGs?

Many, many reviews and a couple of articles on Fullyramblomatic.

Bodo_Fraggins:
i have to ask ElArabDeMagnifico: how do you know what Yahtzee likes/dislikes? I mean it just seems odd that you apparently know whats best for him and yet dont explain how you may know these things. Do you actually know him? or is this simply something that you are assuming/personally believe?
I mean he made a whole film on peoples criticisms so i cant see him hating that, and to have people who genuinely admire what he says and simply want to state that without the need to back it up, then why not? If someone says to me "what you did there was great" i wouldnt say "hmm i wish you deconstructed what was great about it". Also i was under the impression he is a critic/writer not an "artist".

p.s. dont take this as a slight against you, im simply stating my opinion, just as you stated yours.

www.fullyrambolamtic.com

All of that was pretty much from one entry, copy pasted, and then i added "don't do it because Yahtzee doesn't want you to" - how else do you get yahtzee fanboys to stop blabbering? Tell them Yahtzee says shut up!

Crap_haT:
I'm not going to lie, that was a good review. Made me laugh more than ususal. Also, I have been having some loading problems. Has the Escapist had an update or change?

ElArabDeMagnifico:
As one of the first few to post in this thread, I would like to establish some "implied yet unwritten" rules/guidelines, because I'm not a mod and I don't expect everyone to follow these, but for the greater good of this thread, PLEASE follow them as best as you can! -and Remember, I am condemning out of love, not hate (sort of)

  • NO ASS KISSING! Yahtzee hates it when people call flawed work flawless, so give the guy some criticism, it's the best thing an artist can get.
  • No flaming either! If you disagree with Yahtzee, say why, and then criticize him, preferably constructively.
  • NO ONE POST WONDERS! IF YOU ARE GOING TO REGISTER JUST TO SAY 'LOL YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, GOOD JOB! BEST ONE YET! LOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOL OR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE....DON'T! If you register, make your post worthwhile, because one post wonders have an opinion that is worth practically NOTHING, if you make an account, browse the other forums, or just do something other than kiss Yahtzee's ass!
  • SERIOUSLY! NO ASS KISSING!
  • The Ass kissers are worse than the flamers, the flamers still actually contribute by giving (whether it be good or bad) criticism, ass kissers just make the thread grow until it bursts with bile! DON'T DO IT!

    Thanks for listening! Chances are this will be completely ignored anyway! Happy posting!

    You can go suck a dick. It is not your place to enforce these rules, allow the stupids to have their fun; that way you don't send them into a spiral of depression and have law suites shoved up your ass. I really hate it when people take it upon their self to enforce the supposed rules. Contact a mod if you want a message put out, that way you'll only sound a dick in front of him.

    Fuck it at least I got some attention, it was worth a try, what's a mod gonna do anyway? Tell me the exact same thing? I wasn't even an asshole to you guys, I didn't "enforce them" I said "it would probably be best if----" - so you can kiss my ass you insult spurting cunt.

    Well, here's hoping that 2 weeks from now we can enjoy Solid Snakes last foray, and see what Yahtzee thinks of Hideo Kojima's supposed attempt to bring save the artistic games from those tailored to casual gamers. On second thought, make it three weeks.

    Come to think of it, it doesn't look like it will be that bleak this year. According to a couple of announced release dates, we can still look foward to Soul Calibur IV, Resident Evil 5, Force Unleashed, Bourne Conspiracy and Lego Indiana Jones. And Rock Band, but Something tells me Yahtzee will manage to find it stupid, due to it requiring actual talent for vocals and drums.

    Indigo_Dingo:
    Well, here's hoping that 2 weeks from now we can enjoy Solid Snakes last foray, and see what Yahtzee thinks of Hideo Kojima's supposed attempt to bring save the artistic games from those tailored to casual gamers. On second thought, make it three weeks.

    Wait you didn't hear?! The game was totally casualized.

    OK so it's just a little extra that I think comes with the game, probably to kill time while it's installing or something - but I couldn't resist.

    I spit up some of my drink when he said "It would only be better if it had tits and was on fire". Great review, very funny.

    I like the retro reviews. I miss a lot of games and then forget about them; this helps with the catchup. Even for stuff I have played, I like hearing another perspective.

    It also allows for one to obnoxiously request any old game. MEAT PUPPET! TWINSEN'S ODYSSEY!
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    ElArabDeMagnifico:

    Indigo_Dingo:
    Well, here's hoping that 2 weeks from now we can enjoy Solid Snakes last foray, and see what Yahtzee thinks of Hideo Kojima's supposed attempt to bring save the artistic games from those tailored to casual gamers. On second thought, make it three weeks.

    Wait you didn't hear?! The game was totally casualized.

    OK so it's just a little extra that I think comes with the game, probably to kill time while it's installing or something - but I couldn't resist.

    I'd say its to amuse people while we sit in for what will most likely be a long install time.

    Is this game some how linked to the Painkiller short at the end of The Whitcher review?

    Anyway, good video.

    5 o clock came and i couldn't even get on the server. then did other stuff for a while. worth the wait though. i watched it twice over it was so funny. i'm gonna have to try and find this game now. when i have money, and time to spare. *sigh*

    This game seems to fill a nice niche for me, being a cehap game that I can use to fill out the fourth part of my personality this month. GTA IV was enjoyed by my inner psychotic who wants to just do all the stuff I couldn't get away with in real life because I couldn't get away with it, Psychonauts (finally played it) sedated my inner child who likes games where everything looks all cutsey and funny, and Metal Gear Solid 4 will please the inner tactical mastermind who desperately wishes he could find some way to make my fully black outfit actually blend with a dark alleyway. Now if I just get and play this to satisfy my part that laughed during Sweeney Todd and really enjoyed the Hannibal series, I'll be set.

    After skimming through the thread, I'm surprised how many people I pissed off - wow, sensitive users in here, first of all, I'd like to apollogize for coming off as rude/mean/whatever - I tried to do this just for the betterment of these threads, and not just make it mindless praise, I wasn't forcing anyone to do anything, it was more of a suggestion, chill the fuck out!

    Second, don't take me that seriously for one little thing I posted, people picked up their pitchforks and lit their torches when they read that, I was trying to do good, not evil!

    Sorry to draw your ire...you maniacs!

    ElArabDeMagnifico:
    I'd say its to amuse people while we sit in for what will most likely be a long install time.

    I doubt it will actually be that long, GTA IV's wasn't bad, less than DMC3's time >_>

    ElArabDeMagnifico:

    Indigo_Dingo:
    I'd say its to amuse people while we sit in for what will most likely be a long install time.

    I doubt it will actually be that long, GTA IV's wasn't bad, less than DMC3's time >_>

    Maybe you don't understand just how big this game is. Don't make me use the twinkie.

    I went out and bought Psychonauts off of XBox Live after seeing Yahtzee's review for it, and I have enjoyed it immensely. "Now setting things on fire with your mind is a mighty power, sonny boy, so I expect you to use it responsibly, or when it'll be REALLY cool."

    Ah well, maybe they'll put Painkiller:Hell Wars on XBox Live. It'd be nice if they'd release all the levels to go with it.

    Indigo_Dingo:

    ElArabDeMagnifico:

    Indigo_Dingo:
    I'd say its to amuse people while we sit in for what will most likely be a long install time.

    I doubt it will actually be that long, GTA IV's wasn't bad, less than DMC3's time >_>

    Maybe you don't understand just how big this game is. Don't make me use the twinkie.

    Well I thought MGS4 and GTA were similiar sizes, GTA has a big open world/hub, lots of mini-games, cutscenes, etc. -

    MGS series: Long cutscenes, and...well...from all those MGS trailers I've seen, I could basically say the same exact thing about GTA. There must be something I missed, and if it's a huge amazing detail, i'd actually appreciate if you didn't tell me because MGS hype has been filled with spoilers >_>

    Tatter:
    I went out and bought Psychonauts off of XBox Live after seeing Yahtzee's review for it, and I have enjoyed it immensely. "Now setting things on fire with your mind is a mighty power, sonny boy, so I expect you to use it responsibly, or when it'll be REALLY cool."

    Ah well, maybe they'll put Painkiller:Hell Wars on XBox Live. It'd be nice if they'd release all the levels to go with it.

    Both titles are also on Steam, and are fairly old games, so I doubt it'll be a system hog.

    EDIT: and bloody cheap..

    Steady on, steady on, we've got to 6 pages of comments now without one all-important word being mentioned in relation to Painkiller:

    Pufferfish.

    (Reference: Extra after the Zero Punctuation review for the Witcher - brilliant extra, look up immediately if you missed it.)

    im sorry, great review, but was that song called detachable penis What...The...Fuck.

    josh797:
    im sorry, great review, but was that song called detachable penis What...The...Fuck.

    You really have to hear the whole song, it's hilarious, it's about the saga of the man who has a detachable penis, and sometimes...

    He loses it! -It is a tale about his journey to re-buy his penis from a hobo after re-tracing his steps to find the guy in the first place.

    ...it's awesome >_>

    Geo Da Sponge:
    If it's criticism Yahtzee wants, it's criticism he'll get.

    I feel that this weeks review isn't as good as some of the others; as Yahtzee says himself, he's not as funny when he's giving out praise. Jokes seemed a bit sub-par, which might have been all right if this was a constructive review of a game anyone's ever heard of. Of course, I wouldn't want zero-punctuation to lose all concept of being a source of proper reviews, but let's face it, Yahtzee didn't become popular because of a deep level of game analysis.

    And now for a critique of the criticism.

    Yahtzee is still very funny, even when giving out praise. Just as long as he's also lambasting some other facet associated with the game. In this case, he is making a point about fps cliches. It's funny. Really. Laugh.

    His reviews can be insightful, if you care to think about what he says. Don't write it off completely as popularist humour. He is saying things that most reviewers would hesitate to voice. That's valuable stuff.

    The jokes in this review were gold. I watch them at work, during my Thursday lunchtime. I struggled a few times to stop from bursting out laughing. The tits and fire line forced me to chop a rather loud guffaw. I don't like fps games, but this review of one is right up there as one of my favourites.

    Why couldn't he choose this one to be the obvious song?

    ElArabDeMagnifico:

    He loses it! -It is a tale about his journey to re-buy his penis from a hobo after re-tracing his steps to find the guy in the first place.

    Somehow, I don't think that'll convince people of the merits of the song.

    It's a good song. Yahtzee and King Missile; if the two ever met, the world would never be the same.

    I am definitely intrigued by the idea of a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning..almost as much as having a dragon to fly around that can shoot lava, lightning or poison (see Drakan). I very much enjoyed this review and your series.

    Quality stuff! A good overview of an older game which is hard to find but certainly sounds like fun!

    My wish if this new retroactive review thing is going to carry on until Big Name Release Season kicks into high gear again: Left Behind: Eternal Force. I look forward to seeing a badly made game with creepy cultish intentions get ripped to shreds by the Escapist's number one meal ticket. Take that, Tim LaHaye!

    This is the benefit of NOT reviewing games by popular demand. I'm sure everyone wanted Mario Kart Wii this week, and I'm pretty sure everyone made it apparent that they did. But because Yahtzee didn't, we got a review that uncovered a gem in the dust, and I'm probably going to look into buying this game.

    Also, Detachable Penis - best song ever?

    good review as usual

    So this game is all about Liquid Snake murdering people with a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning? Bad ass!

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