Zero Punctuation: Painkiller

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Did Yahtzee seriously suggest that Doom had no "find the keycard" sections?! Because, uh, I seem to recall it having keycards.

As for the people suggestion Yahtzee review The World Ends With You, why would you want to do that to him? What has he ever done to you? You know he'll hate the experience. Hell, the game plays a constant stream of J-pop.

If Yahtzee were in the habit of going around and kicking people's dogs, I suppose forcing him to play The World Ends With You might be justified. (And if he's been going around kicking people's puppies, maybe even Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII!)

But otherwise, what has he done to deserve reviewing those games?

Entharion:
I haven't been able to view the movie... -.- but I know painkiller, and it's sequel: Overdose sucked, and I probarbly agree on whatever Yahtzee says, because he mosty is right about stuff like that :)

[edit] I saw it.. and YEAH! GO Yahtzee, you found yet another gem in the ocean of brown game #!$% and now I wish you had mentioned that the bosses all have unique ways to be killed and are generally hiooo-mungous :P but I'm a review critique.. And now for the comment critique review my post and correct my horrible spelling on some difficult words...

I think he did mention the bit about weird weapons that only work on some bosses. I'm just happy that Ben finally found a game he likes (aside from Portal, second only to Jesus (if your Christian (I'm not so Portal is numero uno))).

Also, with the bit at the start about the slow season, does this mean that you'll be giving you two cents about good examples of games that are, dare I say it,... fun?

Another good review!

It was great to see you at Game On last Sunday Ben!

Found a video of you at http://www.fb-ks.com, scroll down a bit and you'll see "Yahtzee does Melbourne"

You look exactly like you do in your reviews hahaha

painkillers an absolutly kick ass game, and the level design in many levels is absolutly awe inspiring (but i digress, watch the review, itll tell you all you need to know). alough im kind of shocked that he didnt mention the other 2 weapons, both of them deserve a mention. one is a chain gun and rocket launcher in one (finally, someone combines the 2 most powerful, non-bfg9000, weapons into one), and the shotgun has THE MOST complementary secondary firing mode in any game, period, by shooting a freeze shot. freeze them and what better to finish the job than the good ol' shotgun?

remember hearing about this back in 04 when a classmate brought in screenshots to out networking class of his new game. for some reason the name, and for that matter the game, stuck with me for about 2 years. after i built my first rig i picked up a copy of the black edition at compusa as soon as i found one, and i always have it installed on my computer now, granted its though steam, but still.

and if anyone hasant said it yet, i think its now only $10 over steam, so go buy it if you havent.

After watching this review, I decided to check out the Painkiller demo and pretty much after about the first 10 minutes of launching entire forests at zombies, I was sold. Which isn't hard considering the really cheap price on Steam.

One issue I have with the game, at least in what saw in the demo, is that the Crossbow Knight guys are ridiculously hard to kill with that shield of theirs.

Once again a good job from the Brit down under. I particularly enjoyed seeing the Citrus Bazooka again, albeit briefly, as it brought back fond memories of laughing my arse off from his Orange Box review.
I wonder if Painkiller will run well on my antique PC?

This review was his best in a while, considering mailbag showdown wasn't really a review. I enjoy his videos a lot more when he's reviewing something he likes; I wish he would stop reviewing overhyped mainstream games that everyone already knows everything about, even before they're out of development.

I've never heard of painkiller, and this review actually made me want to try it out. It was the same story with his psychonauts review, and I loved that game. So please Yahtzee, continue to review more overlooked and underrated gems; Mainstream games don't need any more fucking attention!

Huh. Considering his appraisal of Conkers Bad Fur Day as one of the Artsy games, we might see a ZP comparrison - him comparing his view on the original to the sequel, and how very dissapointed he was.

And yes, I do feel that that game goes to the Artsy category due to its technique. The sense of humour it uses would not be funny if done by humans, but as it is doen by the incredibly cutesy stock platformer things, the total inversion makes it funny. Like with Robot Chicken - someone slicing a guy open after being "served" would not be funny, but two Power-Rangers Mecha-esque figures doing the same is.

So fucking reinstalled, this game.

Now to get all 440+ MB of patches, good Christ...

lol nice review...now I need to get the game!!

Xenoveritas:
Did Yahtzee seriously suggest that Doom had no "find the keycard" sections?! Because, uh, I seem to recall it having keycards.

As for the people suggestion Yahtzee review The World Ends With You, why would you want to do that to him? What has he ever done to you? You know he'll hate the experience. Hell, the game plays a constant stream of J-pop.

If Yahtzee were in the habit of going around and kicking people's dogs, I suppose forcing him to play The World Ends With You might be justified. (And if he's been going around kicking people's puppies, maybe even Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII!)

But otherwise, what has he done to deserve reviewing those games?

Hell, let's just give him Final Fantasy X-2 and watch him suffer.

The way to follow Yahtzee's reviews is as follows:

If he loves a game, buy it. If it meets his standards, it will meet yours.

If he hates a game other people love, it's because he's a friggin tightarse. Buy it anyway.

Indigo_Dingo:
Huh. Considering his appraisal of Conkers Bad Fur Day as one of the Artsy games, we might see a ZP comparrison - him comparing his view on the original to the sequel, and how very dissapointed he was.

The same could be said about Painkiller, and Painkiller: Overdose. Really, overdose was just...bad.. (to say the least)

ElArabDeMagnifico:

Indigo_Dingo:
Huh. Considering his appraisal of Conkers Bad Fur Day as one of the Artsy games, we might see a ZP comparrison - him comparing his view on the original to the sequel, and how very dissapointed he was.

The same could be said about Painkiller, and Painkiller: Overdose. Really, overdose was just...bad.. (to say the least)

Yeah, but him doing a second review on Painkiller would be rather redundant. Plus, I'm don't know what made Overdose bad, but I'm guessing it wasn't changing the genre into something that robs the concept of its originality and charm.

and its on steam for $9.99

It's interesting how price of a game influences a game review. I think reviewing old but good games is a worthwhile idea but of course Yahtzee really should...

review Wii Fit you skinny git!

TuxedoZombie:
We get it Yahtzee! You like old-ish computer games... that doesn't mean you have to review them.

If you don't like what he's reviewing don't watch it.

I would go buy painkiller but it sounds like serious sam so i might just pass that again

Yay for Steam.

Pain killer was/is extremely good at what it does, and great for doing it well on a limited system too. I found it very one dimensional.

As for retrospective reviews lets hear it for my personal favorites Stalker and World in conflict.

Point to note, lets hear it for just one single RTS!?!?! So long as it's not Generals or anything C+C related for that matter. Like EA, it's just how many times can they re-release the exact same game with minimal changes in the graphics? Like Warhammer 40k (and I loved that) but that's just the same concept as Starcraft1 ,2, and Warcraft 1,2,and 3 in a different dress.

Other than Shatter Galaxy it's been a long time since I've seen something new on the RTS front to be fair...

I thought it was good, but it felt like you had toned down the swearing and or random nickers references....

Possibly this one had been in the works for a while and it had been toned down in case the escapist wanted you to sell out way back then... or maybe you are loosing your touch *buh buh buuuuuuh* {dramatic music}...

Anyways i hope you bring back you charming dialect... otherwise zombie jesus will cry... he'll do it..

Still funny as hell "hang in there"[picture of kitten]

I haven't laughed so hard in ages. If ever a review hit the nail on the head, this is it.

Played Painkiller recently and absolutely loved every minute of it. Awesome levels, especially the last one which even had my game-o-phobic girlfriend saying "that's pretty cool".

AWESOME REVIEW! 43.2 / 10

So....this is pretty much an M-Rated Luigi's Mansion, only with shuriken and lightning? Seems cool, if it wasn't for the PC.

Nah It's just not funny when he likes the games. But Yahtzee liking a game these days is an event of its own. :) Anw keep up the good work!

Aside from the gun....lets not forget that Eve is basically naked and you can oogle her boobies if you are really thick

Watched the video, bought the game.

Now I just have to wait for amazon.co.uk to post it...

Damn, the video won't load for me either.
Hey Escapist, ever heard of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"?

(before you ask, no, I can't download the latest flash version from this computer)

well done yahtzee

you even manage to create a good review on a very old game- (well 2004 is old now)

vid dont work

I always love the choise of music!
steam ftw
video only loads like 1 out of ten times, God and The Escapist mess up again.

loved it.
noticable he picked the game himself instead of being forced to do a game (like brawl).

i remember pain killer, loved it up untill about the end of the third level, i killed the boss then everything glitched and i got fed up with it...........then i had to return it and i dont think ima rent it again, its a great game tho, go out and buy, and once again yahtzee good job, my only criticism is that i wanna see u put out more of these, much more, like 2 a week, if i could give you a super-power, it would be to make these one a day....but then you would run out of games....oh well, ranting, ima stop now

I noticed on Steam that all of a sudden the Painkiller Gold Edition is not on the list of top sellers. Coincidence??

I liked this one a lot better than most of your newer ones Yahtzee. This one just seemed like it had the air of going back to what made your reviews great, probably because it was made so long ago. I was wondering where all the love (or hate) for either slightly or almost relatively unknown games, jingoism, and snappy observational one liners had gone, and it's nice to see them again.

And so now I prepare myself to have my comment be lambasted from all sides by idiots who take comments like these on a personal level, as if anything that isn't dullard praise of Yahtzee amounts to not a metaphorical, but literal knife jabbed into their urethra.

mcderek3000:
The way to follow Yahtzee's reviews is as follows:

If he loves a game, buy it. If it meets his standards, it will meet yours.

If he hates a game other people love, it's because he's a friggin tightarse. Buy it anyway.

I just hope this is a joke, for many reasons.

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