Zero Punctuation: Painkiller

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rwstiles:
Great, as always, to hear your view. Could you please talk more slowly and enunciate more clearly? HAhaha.

rwstiles:

rwstiles:
Great, as always, to hear your view. Could you please talk more slowly and enunciate more clearly? HAhaha.

First time I've seen a "double post triple quote".

I found a copy in the exact same place Yahtzee did, lets see if it measures up.

Absolutely on the mark; and I was actually a bit worried going in, considering the last couple of FPS reviews of vaguely similar titles. I was forgetting that unlike Turok or the other one, Painkiller is actually really good. Nothing fancy, no lame gimmicks, just a great little shooting game with some ideas that have seen depressingly little imitation.
Giant bosses may be the in thing right now, but how many other games have a gun that lets you nail your targets to the floor by shooting a giant spike through their crotch?

The title weapon alone was so ingenious it's almost a shame players weren't forced to be more reliant on it; it took me until my second play through to notice you could set this clanky little gem to the basic face-chopper mode, then LAUNCH it, reducing whole columns of golems to so many gibs.
That is boyish fantasy violence at it's best, m'friend.

Cynopt:

[snip] but how many other games have a gun that lets you nail your targets to the floor by shooting a giant spike through their crotch?

[snip]

Quite a bit actually, Painkiller started that though, especially with the fact that you could nail them to the walls, and also, Painkiller is more than just a spike, it was a nice little crucifix/wooden stake that we all know does horrible things to demons.

ElArabDeMagnifico:

Cynopt:

[snip] but how many other games have a gun that lets you nail your targets to the floor by shooting a giant spike through their crotch?

[snip]

Quite a bit actually, Painkiller started that though, especially with the fact that you could nail them to the walls, and also, Painkiller is more than just a spike, it was a nice little crucifix/wooden steak that we all know does horrible things to demons.

Whereas shooting a giant wooden Crucifix/wooden stake through a normal person is completely inneffective.

Indigo_Dingo:

Quite a bit actually, Painkiller started that though, especially with the fact that you could nail them to the walls, and also, Painkiller is more than just a spike, it was a nice little crucifix/wooden steak that we all know does horrible things to demons.

Whereas shooting a giant wooden Crucifix/wooden stake through a normal person is completely inneffective.[/quote]

LOL Oh man, I usually catch myself on that but the one time I slip, it's on a god damn internet forum...

no it isn't inneffective, it's just extra horrible towards the undead and such.

I heard about that song at the end in some Dave Barry column several years ago, and thought that he had to be making it up for once. I guess he wasn't.

As for the actual review...hilarious as usual, but I have to say that I'm getting a little disturbed by most gamers' love of violence for the sake of violence. When did that start, anyway?

guyy:
I heard about that song at the end in some Dave Barry column several years ago, and thought that he had to be making it up for once. I guess he wasn't.

As for the actual review...hilarious as usual, but I have to say that I'm getting a little disturbed by most gamers' love of violence for the sake of violence. When did that start, anyway?

I think around Medieval Times.

ElArabDeMagnifico:

guyy:
I heard about that song at the end in some Dave Barry column several years ago, and thought that he had to be making it up for once. I guess he wasn't.

As for the actual review...hilarious as usual, but I have to say that I'm getting a little disturbed by most gamers' love of violence for the sake of violence. When did that start, anyway?

I think around Medieval Times.

Well, the Roman Colloseum might argue with that...

Gerrark:

mcderek3000:
The way to follow Yahtzee's reviews is as follows:

If he loves a game, buy it. If it meets his standards, it will meet yours.

If he hates a game other people love, it's because he's a friggin tightarse. Buy it anyway.

I just hope this is a joke, for many reasons.

How come? Please elaborate.

The_root_of_all_evil:

ElArabDeMagnifico:

guyy:
I heard about that song at the end in some Dave Barry column several years ago, and thought that he had to be making it up for once. I guess he wasn't.

As for the actual review...hilarious as usual, but I have to say that I'm getting a little disturbed by most gamers' love of violence for the sake of violence. When did that start, anyway?

I think around Medieval Times.

Well, the Roman Colloseum might argue with that...

Oh silly me Rome was WAAAY before medieval ages...well not that long but still quite a bit.

Some colloseum myths I'd like to clear up, since you brought that up:

1.) It wasn't a "prisoner death match" - they had skilled fighters who trained just like MMA fighters today, there were rules and everything.

2.) The crowd only had a choice in the matter when a fighter was too wounded to continue, or was a coward.

--- ok that's out of the way, I just hate how the movie "Gladiator" messed around with the history.

Also, how about Atilla the Hun? I think he could also join this debate.

ElArabDeMagnifico:

The_root_of_all_evil:

ElArabDeMagnifico:

guyy:
I heard about that song at the end in some Dave Barry column several years ago, and thought that he had to be making it up for once. I guess he wasn't.

As for the actual review...hilarious as usual, but I have to say that I'm getting a little disturbed by most gamers' love of violence for the sake of violence. When did that start, anyway?

I think around Medieval Times.

Well, the Roman Colloseum might argue with that...

Oh silly me Rome was WAAAY before medieval ages...well not that long but still quite a bit.

Some colloseum myths I'd like to clear up, since you brought that up:

1.) It wasn't a "prisoner death match" - they had skilled fighters who trained just like MMA fighters today, there were rules and everything.

2.) The crowd only had a choice in the matter when a fighter was too wounded to continue, or was a coward.

--- ok that's out of the way, I just hate how the movie "Gladiator" messed around with the history.

Also, how about Atilla the Hun? I think he could also join this debate.

And going back even further, the Spartans thought it rather entertaining when things got especially violent. Whereas the Persians favoured gardening.

And that clinches it. The presence of Metal at every fight promotes this from awesome to excellent! (Riffs on air guitar).

I just love the fact that one day after Yahtzee's review, Steam is advertising Painkiller next to Call of Duty 4 and the Orange Box with his review "All you need to know is that there is a gun that shoots shurikens and lighting" as the only text coupled with it.

I admit I never took a decent look at "Painkiller" while it was advertised on steam, but after playing the demo version, it plays a lot like Serious Sam; and Serious Sam while being shallow in the plot department never truly disappointed me. Just the sound of those be-hooved demons approaching me in the dark was enough to keep me playing. So after playing the demo about four times, paying as much as it took for me to see Indy: 4(10.50:USD) I bought painkiller, and it'll provide me with more than two hours of entertainment for less than the same price of a movie at the theater.

Sorry, if I've made an offending error in my post, I just split half a bottle of absinthe with a dear friend of mine, the weak American brewed stuff, but it's still pretty potent in the quantity I've imbibed. Europeans get to have all the fun.

Yahtzee, Good job, thank you for plugging Psychonauts, I was hoping somebody would publicly enjoy that game so people would get off their ass and play it. Thank you for being a critic, and above-all thank you for being a critic that is "Balls out" honest. Nail on head when you said that critics indulge in under-appreciated games which interest themselves and nobody else, I think that's what most people do between launches; I play a lot of Dosbox in-between launches, that and X-com.

*Applauds!*

Well, spot on review. When playing through the Painkiller SP one day because I had nothing better to do, I suddenly realized: This game is really, really good! But forget the Shuriken and Lightning gun (For the record it's called the Electrodriver), what about the minigun/rocket launcher combination?

Am I the only one who thinks the Raven Guy looks waaaaaaay too Much like Eddie? If you don't know who Eddie is, turn your head 10 degrees to your left.

Argh, I don't like the new screen layout it's impossible to keep the cursor on the "pause" button because now it covers the bottom of the screen.

Serious Sam was a fantastic game, as was its expansion. The graphics engine was actually surprisingly amazing for the day, as was the physics engine, and what isnt glorious about taking out a stampede of bulls with a freaking Cannon-gun?

the Serious Sam sequel seriously sucked though... ... ...seriously...

Detatchable Peeeenis... Detatchable Peeeenis...
Catchy tune.
Anyway, I think a gun that shoots black holes would be much more awesome.
P.S. the gay jokes are always appreciated.

Indigo_Dingo:

ElArabDeMagnifico:

Cynopt:

[snip] but how many other games have a gun that lets you nail your targets to the floor by shooting a giant spike through their crotch?

[snip]

Quite a bit actually, Painkiller started that though, especially with the fact that you could nail them to the walls, and also, Painkiller is more than just a spike, it was a nice little crucifix/wooden steak that we all know does horrible things to demons.

Whereas shooting a giant wooden Crucifix/wooden stake through a normal person is completely inneffective.

I got the same sort of distinction wrong in a Dis or Dat on "You Don't Know Jack". Category was differences between Vampires and Peacocks. Can be killed by cutting their head off and pounding a stake through their heart. (Vampires:1, Peacocks:2, Both:3)

I seem to like making comments that are only mildly relevant, and slightly annoying apparently.

ElArabDeMagnifico:

Cynopt:

[snip] but how many other games have a gun that lets you nail your targets to the floor by shooting a giant spike through their crotch?

[snip]

Quite a bit actually, Painkiller started that though, especially with the fact that you could nail them to the walls, and also, Painkiller is more than just a spike, it was a nice little crucifix/wooden stake that we all know does horrible things to demons.

Spikes, stakes, who cares as long as their pointy and horrible?
I don't recall them ever being cruciform tho.
Regardless, where else can I find this marvelous beast? You're absolutely right, it's just that all I can remember after the fact is HL2's marginally less awesome nuclear crossbow.

DrMisanthrope:
I dont understand why people complain about Doom 3's lack of lighting so much, its a horror shooter, lack of light and vulnerably walking around with a torch unable to shoot straight away gives it that edge over other horror fps's and horror games in general. Gun torch mod FTL

Sooo far into the future, like the year, 3000, and no flashlights on guns? Besides, it loses the horror appeal after the imps pop up EVERY MINUTE.

Gerrark:

Entharion:
I haven't been able to view the movie... -.- but I know painkiller, and it's sequel: Overdose sucked, and I probarbly agree on whatever Yahtzee says, because he mosty is right about stuff like that :)

[edit] I saw it.. and YEAH! GO Yahtzee, you found yet another gem in the ocean of brown game #!$% and now I wish you had mentioned that the bosses all have unique ways to be killed and are generally hiooo-mungous :P but I'm a review critique.. And now for the comment critique review my post and correct my horrible spelling on some difficult words...

I just wanted to ask: Has no one else noticed this post? What is so hilariously obvious about it and the edit that follows? Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this, and because if not and everyone else is just ignoring it, I missed the memo.

LOL, I missed that post. What a sheep.

My friend happened to have a copy of Painkiller, so I'm playing through it now. Yahtzee was right; The combat is incredibly fun. The guns are fantastic (especially the stakegun), the physics are great, and the graphics aren't half bad. The best part is the boss fights though; They're epic.

The only downside is the crappy story. I agree with Yahtzee that it doesn't really need a story to be enjoyable, but it does need one to be memorable. A better story probably would have taken this game out of the bargain bin and given it a sequal.

It's a good show, like all of them, but I can't really get the game right now.

The part that really stands out in my recollection of this game is the orphanage level where you get to blow little demon-children to bits. How did that make it past Jack Thompson?

Oh, come on, Yahtzee. You have the game Painkiller and you don't use Judas Priest's Painkiller as the intro? Haha.

Bought it after watching this, bloody awesome. Plot can definitely fuck right off, though, and so can Overdose.

Hungryfreak:
Oh, come on, Yahtzee. You have the game Painkiller and you don't use Judas Priest's Painkiller as the intro? Haha.

Either its too obvious, or he's not hard enough to handle it. Well, as Heath Franklin would put it, he'd better harden the fuck up, at least in time to review Brutal Legend.

Painkiller is now on Steam for like, $9.99.

you should review painkiller:overdose

That'd be redundant, dontcha think?

thanx mate!the dead season was the reason(fokin poetic start there..i ll fix it)I suggested that
you review older over-under rated games....pkiller was the truely the herit of lawnmower games!not that you care(hehe) but great again

LMFAO spot on Yahtzee

did anyone know there is at least one exspantion for Painkiller (yeah cool I know) well that's all I wanted to say really (if someone has alredy said this sorry for repeating it but it's alot of pages to look throw)

all the best, The-J-Cool-Slim-Stupid

P.S. if my spelling is a bit off I'm sorry I've very dislexick

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