Zero Punctuation: Oblivion

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I liked Oblivion, so I thought that I would be quite upset when he began riffing it, but instead I found that any mention of Thief II seems to instill a sense of euphoria within me.

Oblivion was a good game, but it can't quite live up to the legacy that Morrowind left before it.

Xaositect:
Okay, totally wasnt expecting that. Some really good points though. While I disagree with Oblivion playing like its all in the same meadow, since I thought it was a fantastic game too look at landscape wise. Certain points did make sense though. I despised the fast travel, but to be fair, I exercised the magically hidden ability to not use it. The NPC's were pretty god damn annoying and all contained a sparse amount of crappy information you will hear 21367286029846 times before finishing the game. Patrick Stewart and Sean Bean did alright though, since its fucking Patrick Stewart and Sean Bean, for gods sake.

Rock they, yes, yes and, this scramble-speak is excuse speak in.

:D

PitrDeVries:
In Morrowind, you would really feel like an outlander, especially with all the unique creatures and customs. Weird dogs attacking me? Sweet. Wizards grow their towers? Awesome. Varying architecture, TONS of in game literature and lore, et cetera.

In Oblivion, they cut the books down to about two piddling paragraphs and it basically looks like every other fantasy setting I've seen: castles, wolves, et cetera.

Here's the thing: according to Morrowind, Cyrodil should be a jungle, as I recall, not Merrie Olde England.

I miss the longer books. I miss the floating jellyfish. I miss the silt striders. I miss half the things Morrowind had that Oblivion lacked (difficulty slider, par example).

Oblivion made some changes, yes. Some for the better? Maybe. The passive effect of magic on armour was, imo, rather powerful. Learn a spell that granted Chameleon 100%, put it on armour, et voila! Untoucheable.

One of the better changes was with people being able to chase you incredibly far if you trained them, even outside towns. The downside of THIS was the fact that you could no longer drop into a town via jumping off a nearby mountain (they removed the mountains, but still!).

Another was the magic system being easier to use if you're a warrior-type. Just hit a button, and away she goes, as opposed to switching to "magic mode" before being able to do so. Also, shorter magic gesture animations.

Oh, and no cliff racers. That's a definite bonus.

One serious downside, however: the removal of Levitation and the like, which resulted in hilarity for me against nearly any enemy.

Overall, Oblivion was fun. But I enjoyed Morrowind a lot more, despite the bugs.

Though the Dark Brotherhood questline rocked.

I agree with you on the feel of a game. When you get really sucked into a game the floors seem alot smaller and your'll plow on through the game to the end. Oblivion was one of those games no matter how much i tried to love it (and i really did try) It just wouldnt hook me in.

Thanks yahtzee for brighting up another day.. espically today it's just raining kittens.. Damn that english weather XD

Great review as expected.

Great review, as always. I'm playing Oblivion again now and I like it, even though Yahtzee made some good points.

He complained about the repetitive environment, so I'm going to assume he never made it into any of the Oblivion portals.

E-Roy:
I was positively surprised that he didn't complain about the leveling system. That would've been far too easy, although I think that breaks the immersion the most.

What are you talking about? The leveling system in the Elder Scrolls games is the best out of any RPG I've ever seen. You increase your various skills by FUCKING USING THEM!

star_topology:
I am saddened that I am yet to finish this game...

Don't be sad. I think that puts you in the majority.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Let me tell you about immersion. Immersion is when you go for a midnight walk after a weekend marathon of Thief II and catch yourself looking for your visibility gem.

Guilty as charged. XP

There's an old saying, Yahtzee: "If you loved Morrowind, then you'll hate Oblivion."
And quite frankly, that holds true here... well, sort of. I tried Oblivion at a buddy's place and I stood up, smacked him and said "How the fuck can you play this tripe?!" Personally I thought the multi-classing in Morrowind was great because it kept battles interesting, but I tried it this time and got brutally raped by monsters in all orifices, plus a few new ones they made with their razor teeth! And I saw how much you loved the scenery that made you say "I'm pretty sure I've been here before".

Maybe it's because I haven't actually played an Elder Scrolls game in a long time and just suck at it (sarcasm obviously intended, for all you flaming homosexuals*) or the people at Bethesda Softworks crearly tried something new just to piss fans of Morrowind off, but if a man can't fend for his life in this game, then what the fuck is he supposed to do?!

*...he he he, double entendres are funny.

Hilarious review as always. I liked the "If nothing else remember this" image but you forgot to give the if an argument. I know it is a huge nitpick but seeing code that is syntactically incorrect just gets under my skin.
if( nothing() ){
}else{
remember(this);
}
Will compile assuming nothing() returns an int or a bool, you are calling this from a class function, and remember is a valid function that takes the class this is a function of as an argument.
Well I got that piece of nerd rage off my chest, the rest of the review was smashing and I look forward to the planetary alignment that causes you to review a RTS. Maybe even Supreme Commander.

The only thing i agree with is the samey characters but even that didn't bother me...i still think the game is farking awesome...

I could never get into this game, one of my brothers acted like it was the goddamn holy grail of videogames but I could never get attached to my character or really feel satisfaction walking around the game world.

This does not give me a lot of hope for Fallout 3.

But as long as they keep the monsters level up with you bullshit out, I suppose they can't fuck it up too badly.

well, the game plays through with more or less in 4 meadows. one tropical rainy meadow, one snowy/hilly meadow, one lush and forested area and one normal meadow. and the re-use of dungeons was really annoying.

Oh God!

So funny!

He's back on form! Its wonderful! Celebration!

Here I was, expecting a Ninja Gaiden II review, and I end up getting the most pleasant surprise in weeks.

I love Oblivion (I even quit WoW to play it more), but I understand his criticisms.

Very well done, Yahtz.

He complained about the repetitive environment, so I'm going to assume he never made it into any of the Oblivion portals.

Hahaha. Yeah that'll show him. Every single one was a black sludge with loads of lava. Seen one you've seen them all. There is a reason they wouldn't let the journos go into the Oblivion gates, it was to stop them all going "Meh, I coulda guessed it would look like hell".

RUMOURS!

This is exactly how I felt about oblivion. A friend who's obsested with the game recomended and I've never forgiven him for it. Apsolutely the most boring, unimaginitive game I've ever played. Most RPGs are set in the same old medival england, but at least they bring there own feel to it, something to make it different. Take Fable for instance. The levels looked fantastic and a real feel to them. Take any screenshot of fable and you know what your looking at. But Oblivion was just plain boring, it could been anything from WoW to D&D with all the wierd looking dog men and brightly coloured big boobed girls cut out, replaced by samey looking bad guys and flat chests *sad face*

It reminded me rather of when I tried to read Lord of the Rings. I'd read the hobbit (which I loved) as a kid and I thought I might as well live up to my title as a geek and get started on th rest. But I was just bored by it. Maybe its not tolkens fault, maybe its because every other game/movie/book since has copyed him but it just felt like a boring world with boring charcters where even the most epic fight is a lecture interrupted by spoits of poety. But I could tell it was technichley briliant, even if it didn't draw me in. Thats how oblivion felt. I knew there was a good game there somewhere but I had to fight past coma inducing dialogue and enviroments to get to it.

The first time I approached Kvatch, I made the accident of picking up something from a refugee stall. Apparently I hadn't assumed that picking items up counts as stealing punishable by death from a fat ogre woman. Immersion ended there.
I always thought that that game was out to get me, to trip me up somehow....

i don't agree with you this time Yahtzee (but then who cares what i think) but still funny as fook as always mate.
keep them coming

Touché, and indeed hindsight is always 1:1!

hamster mk 4:
Hilarious review as always. I liked the "If nothing else remember this" image but you forgot to give the if an argument. I know it is a huge nitpick but seeing code that is syntactically incorrect just gets under my skin.
if( nothing() ){
}else{
remember(this);
}
Will compile assuming nothing() returns an int or a bool, you are calling this from a class function, and remember is a valid function that takes the class this is a function of as an argument.

nice one ^^

as for the review....
...brilliant as always...

i'd like to post few more words, but can't...
... off playing EVE ... :D

C'mon yahtzee, you could have ripped into this game much worse. The game is a total piece of trash, everything about it is FLAWED to the MAX. How about the auto-leveling of monsters? If they level up with you then WHAT IS THE POINT OF LEVELS?!?!? how about if you steal ANYTHING everyone in the world knows about it. How about the auto leveling of equipments - bandits who have a full suit of Glass Armor? Why don't they just sell it and live like kings!!

He also didn't mentioned the utter lack of cross-bows. I had so much fun with cross-bows in Morrowind... and here you have a useless bow. Stealth-hit gives x2 for bows? Erm... guys... it doesn't matter if I hit you with an arrow square in the head if you see me or not... you are fucking dead one way or the other.

I also liked Morrowind more. Oblivion is not bad, that's not the problem, it's just mediocre. At the beginning it's exciting and new but once you got around you've seen it quickly and then it becomes boring.

The main story line really is the worst I've seen in a long time. The side ( and especially guild quests ) are a lot better. Dark Brotherhood and Thieves Guild are the best side quests. All the others are very annoying.

You can play this game in a week since enemies ( no matter if common or bosses ) are affected by your level hence you can rush through at level 1 and beat the game. That's one of the jokes.

Another joke is fast traveling. Of course I used it all the time since it is so utterly boring to ride between cities just because some stupid quests requests you to fetch a dull item from one place and bring it to another. I want to play a game and have fun and not ride miles along boring and repeating scenery to do errands.

It's one of those games which has this bad property that whenever you even remotely think about playing it again it repels you by only thinking at the bad problems it has. And if a game repels you more than it attracts you then something is wrong.

Kudos for mentioning Thief-II. You should also mention once Deus-Ex ( NOT the IW crap ) as a god father of FPS+RPG mixture ;) ( well, besides SS of course which inspired them )

I largely agreed with what was said in this review. I, like Yahtzee, am not on good terms with RPGs and I got this game purely because it was reccomended by a grand total of 3 friends, and I ended up with mixed feelings after a couple of hours. I've never played an RPG in the first person before so it instantly earned praise from me for that rather than being a 3rd person turn based or clicking type of game that I've seen pretty much everywhere else.

Points I believed he missed out (besides the 'leveling up' issue everyone repeatingly mentions) include:
1. Every character has their own personal timetable, this means that you can spend anywhere up to 30 mins trying to find NPCs depending how much you've studied their movements and how many 80's style police stakeouts you've done.
2. Items that raise your skill rating do not give you the benefits of having that skill as far as I could tell, meaning some of these items are ultimatly useless.
3. It is painfully difficult to make money seeing as most items can oly be sold for about one tenth of how much you have to pay for them.
4. There are many glitches, too many to list here.
anf finally 5. Due to the particular skills and advantages of particular races/classes/star signs, you useually find most of your characters are more or less the same simply for the practical reason of ensuring you stand a chance when you do the somewhat further on missions.

Final note, good call on the part about foxy night elves...even though you never do get any soapy tit wanks in Oblivion...and I have realised stating that makes me quite a sad individual.

tl;dr - Good review, I lol'd.

original version:

From one extreme to the other - the JRPG is incredibly linear, the CRPG is so non-linear that the vast majority of them, such as today's subject, forget that you're supposed to *want* to do stuff.

I actually don't hate Oblivion, but after my first runthrough, I never really found myself wanting to dive into it again. The fact the game corrupted all my saves as soon as I installed the expansion didn't help. But I do remember long, long hours lost to it and the obsessive mod downloading (which on further reflection likely led to said save corruption).

Yahtzee, you get a gold star for not whining like the whiny whining whiners on the Bethesda forums about how it's not really an RPG because it's in first person and released on the 360 and whatever, blah blah blah. It does look like he never got far into it though, but since the game doesn't do much in the way of encouraging you in any paritcular direction, I'm not shocked if all he did was run around in muddy fields for awhile after the story-intensive prison break.

God I hate this game. I hated it when I found out that picking up a banana was punishable by imprisonment. I hated it when I spent a couple of hours trying to find something interesting, and failing. I hated it when I bought it expecting Thief in an open-world setting and got a crap faceless world where stealing was impossible to get away with. I hated it when every magazine in the world seemed to implode with delight over it.

Thanks Yahtzee for bringing the bile back into my throat!

Now I have to say I completely agree with Yahtzee, and now love him even more for picking Morrowind over Oblivion. I loved that game and Oblivion just took all the depth away from my Elder Scrolls experience and turned it into a pathetic shallow puddle. Don't get me wrong I liked the gameplay and tricks you could pull off but the repetitiveness of the storyline and the same voices everywhere you go just doesn't make you feel like you're going somewhere new (in the case of the Oblivion Gates you were in fact never going anywhere new. Christ there was more copy /paste going on there than in my school essays).
And fuck; the fast travel made the world so small...

Sweet review once again. Never played the game, and, well, won't because I don't like RPGs.

Ah, immersion! I remember ducking (like, irl) once when I heard a high-pitched noise and thought a manhack was coming at me.

The Tingler:
God I hate this game. I hated it when I found out that picking up a banana was punishable by imprisonment. I hated it when I spent a couple of hours trying to find something interesting, and failing. I hated it when I bought it expecting Thief in an open-world setting and got a crap faceless world where stealing was impossible to get away with. I hated it when every magazine in the world seemed to implode with delight over it.

Thanks Yahtzee for bringing the bile back into my throat!

Are you joking? Thievery was freaking *easy*. Just exploit lock picking and break into everyone's houses when they're not home or asleep.

TheHecatomb:

Arkitext:

TheHecatomb:
you mixed up Night Elves with Dark Elves though

No body cares.

You spelt nobody wrong.

That's just too easy.

Genuinely one of the funniest reviews you've done, had me laughing out loud a lot. And seriously, people complaining about Yahtze losing his touch...tbh I come to watch these videos because they're fucking hilarious, I seriously don't base whether I play a game or not on them...what does it matter if it misses a few flaws, these reviews are different because they are incredibly funny...

star_topology:

TheHecatomb:

Arkitext:

TheHecatomb:
you mixed up Night Elves with Dark Elves though

No body cares.

You spelt nobody wrong.

That's just too easy.

Your mum's too easy

I think in Shivering Isles they tried to fix the repetitive voices by adding sleep/sick characters, changing the world type a lot and although it did work for a while, towards the end it fell back to the same feeling there was in Cyrodiil.

But atleast the NPCs had a reason to be stupid or vain in New Sheroth.

Yahtzee what's wrong? You seem to be reviewing a lot of crap recently.

Geodancer:
I liked Oblivion, so I thought that I would be quite upset when he began riffing it, but instead I found that any mention of Thief II seems to instill a sense of euphoria within me.

Oblivion was a good game, but it can't quite live up to the legacy that Morrowind left before it.

Must agree on the last part, so true.

And I played Thief III (almost completely) but not the previous two, I should start on that sooner or later...
Is II that good? 'cause I already liked III a lot, now THAT was a game that immersed me, especially the the house referred to as the Cradle, fuck that was scary, just got shivers while I was writing it.

Brilliant work once again, Yahtzee, you even managed to take one of the game's selling points (graphics)and turn it back on itself. In truth, there's more than the green meadow area, but the only other options are mountains or swamp, both of which you have to walk to get to since no cities are built there for you to fast travel to.

And I see some people complaining that you didn't comment on combat system, leveling system, etc, but I don't really think they need an opinion. They're just average, not bad, but nothing good enough to be worth mentioning.

Hmm... I have to disagree with you on the game being "un-immersive".
Of course I have played the expansion in which you become a god :D.(hurray for me)
And I think you should do the same... update the game, load it with mods, install the shivering isles and knights of the nine, go to the island in the middle of a lake and you got yourself the immersion.

I hope you didn't right that little comment next to your own review Yahtzee. "Hold on tight- Yahtzee's reviewing an RPG" has to be one of the least attention grabbing or witty remarks I'd seen here. That would have made more sense with "JRPG" and last week but even then it would have been weak. Oh well, enough bitching about that pointless bit. I liked this one a lot. Like I said last week, it reminds me of some of your first ones, which I like.

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