Editor-in-Chief  Posts: 2404 Joined: 1 May 2006     | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1854 Joined: 8 Apr 2008     | Ok, that was mighty silly, and I do love reading your work. But let's face facts: being able to predict the weather because of an injury is nothing special or "super". Plenty of people can do that, hell I can do that. Then again, I don't have much of a sense in justice, so I guess you won't need to worry about any competition from me. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1567 Joined: 5 Dec 2007     | Righteous Indignation Man sounded way beter then Captain Peevish. But the article was hysterical so kudos to you mr vigilanty dog-poo fighter. I often dream of being a superhero myself, well not a real superhero but a person who devotes most of their life to a good cause. Serving other is something that brings me great joy. Unfortunately my talents are limited to storytelling, theology and selflessness so I might just take upon myself the title of "nice guy". Totaly and utterly commiting yourself to a cause isn't always the best way to serve it. It might be in the short term but in the long run you also need to take care of yourself. Somehow the idea of living my life for others is extremely apealing and hopefully I will get down do doing just that one day. |
Brand Manager  Posts: 2687 Joined: 8 Oct 2007    | Loved it. I have an innate ability of feeling shifts in pressure systems. I start to feel lightheaded and my stomach turns. Do we have the same super power then? One born with it, one created by accident. Now that is a story! |
CEO & Publisher  Posts: 612 Joined: 12 Nov 2002  | Is Captain Peevish's arch-foe Dr Dogpoop? |
Anonymous Source Posts: 1 Joined: 30 Apr 2008   | *wipes a single tear from his eye* |
Anonymous Source Posts: 1 Joined: 17 Jun 2008  | Yeh, but Iron Man, he's cool, a prick and freaking awesome. Thats me, thats me as a superhero |
Games Editor  Posts: 5729 Joined: 20 Dec 2005    | Ha! Aquaman sucks! |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 391 Joined: 31 Oct 2007    | Bravo a entertaining and funny little read. |
Beat Writer Posts: 206 Joined: 11 Jul 2006     | Classic. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 515 Joined: 23 May 2008   | This is what super speed can allow you to do Oh, yeah and that guy he is punching took out the entire Justice League by himself, except the Flash, of course. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 358 Joined: 9 Nov 2007   | what is super speed good for? Considering the strength of impact scales along with speed, it gets you pretty far ;) |
Infamous Scribbler Posts: 515 Joined: 23 May 2008 | Super speed is an awesome power, and the Flash is the fastest creature in the universe, even god's are inferior to him. Well depending on who is writing him. Under normal circumstances The Flash is considered one of the most powerful creatures in existence despite not being bullet-proof, he can run faster than them so it shouldn't be a problem really, depending on which version he is fast enough to wait for you to pull the trigger, then go check his mail grab a drink, a burger, eat it all, and then go back to his house and brush his teeth, all before your bullet makes it to where he was standing, before he decided to go have lunch. |
Contributor  Posts: 96 Joined: 6 Sep 2006   | This reminds me a bit of the magnetic implant body mod that lets you sense magnetic fields. I admit to being morbidly curious, though I'm waiting for v.2.0 on it (they can't get them to stay in currently). Captain Peevish's arch-nemesis, is, of course Dog Poop Girl. In Korea he has a very real future as a superhero. |
Copy Clerk Posts: 117 Joined: 12 Oct 2006  | Excellent article, Russ.
and considering Newton's second (?) law of motion, anything he hits that fast will probably splat him (see bird meets plane). |
Paperboy  Posts: 23 Joined: 11 Jul 2006   | Excellent article, Russ. It got quite a chuckle round these parts. |
Muckraker Posts: 249 Joined: 25 Nov 2006   | Fantastic! It reminds me of a fantastic radio sketch (which was in dutch I'm afraid), where someone wants to discover whether he's a superhero or not. His research showed that superpowers manifest only in moments of intense stress. So he jumps from a building and while he's falling he is pleased to find out that he does too have superpowers. Apparently he can see through buildings. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 108 Joined: 16 Apr 2008    | I have never heard a better "screw Batman" rant. Priceless. The end part about responsibility and whether or not the world needs super heroes really drove the article home for me. It was great all the way through, but that part made it golden. I always think it'd be awesome to have super powers, but whenever I'm given great power in video games and get bored, I take it out on the innocent bystanders who were foolish enough to enter my line of sight. Bottom line is I'm not responsible enough to be a super hero. But whether or not my presence as a super hero is needed brings up so many other things to mind, specifically (and don't laugh) an episode of Futurama where Bender meets God, and God explains to Bender that doing too much for others ultimately makes those you're helping complacent and helpless, while the second you try to let people stand on their own feet they cry out that they've been forsaken, and if you try to be subtle, people might think you did nothing at all. And, like Bender in his little attempt at playing God, who wants that kind of job? Entertaining and thought provoking. Awesome article. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 909 Joined: 20 Oct 2008    | super speed would be horrible if you punch someone going that fast your fist would be turned to jelly not to mention the rest of your body |
Captain Peevish
"In 1987, a freak accident as a child left me with the strange ability to predict thunderstorms. Scientifically speaking, I have a crack in my skull the length of a dollar bill. Changes in barometric pressure give me headaches. Spidey-sense? Perhaps. 'Fascinating,' you may say, 'but what good is this superpower?' What good, indeed. See: the Flash, and sit back down, pipsqueak. I can do something you can't. I'm a superhero."
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