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Zero Punctuation: Haze

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Creator of Zero Punctuation
Posts: 253
Joined: 8 Aug 2007

Haze

Drug-addled mercenaries wearing glowing power armor trudging through the jungle with guns. What could possibly go wrong?

Watch Video

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1536
Joined: 27 Apr 2008

Very nice, it is quite weird how the allies sudenly switch to extreme regen mode and the super soldiers become weaker than infants. Very nice

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2904
Joined: 12 May 2008

I assumed a MGS review, nonetheless, funny. I lost my luster for haze after it was delayed fifty fucking times.

Muckraker
Posts: 249
Joined: 31 Oct 2007

That thing cost $110!?! Jesus fuck!

Paperboy
Posts: 50
Joined: 15 Mar 2008

WAR IS BAD, but not as bad as the pro-war-spandex-usage in this from MGS4TV tap that funky foooooot recroooot.

Paperboy
Posts: 14
Joined: 3 Mar 2008

The music at the start fits with the game.

I think you stoped me buying haze makes me think oh man not another crysis like game that just has you runing around killing poorly armed enemys with body armor as strong as a T-shirt that can stop like 20 shots to the chest.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1181
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

So, another review that warned me not to buy a game... where would I be without reviews XD Man I laughed my ass off when I heard the "I got high" song! I love it! I also discovered that me and Yahtzee share a love for cornetos :P

Muckraker
Posts: 282
Joined: 13 Feb 2008

I actually was lucky enough to attend a presentation by the Haze crew and chatted with their resident scriptwriter. The way he pitched it, I really liked the sound of it, but then again, he pushed the drug element a lot more than the war bit, which must be a bit of a bugger when you're touting a FPS.

Nevertheless, a pleasant return to the upper-level wit that had somehow been dropping away as of late, and although I was never going to but Haze anyway, it's good to know I'm not missing out of much.

Now, off to play Mass Effect for all the sexy jubblies.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 99
Joined: 28 May 2008

I almost expected a review busting the balls of Ninja Gaiden 2's difficulty, but nevertheless, this week's review was very entertaining and as usual, hit the nail on the head.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 7
Joined: 28 May 2008

DRUGS IS BAD!

i lol'd

Great review =D

Paperboy
Posts: 43
Joined: 4 Jun 2008

Excellent job Yahtzee.

As a fellow reviewer who loved MGS4. I can't wait for you to criticize it!

Paperboy
Posts: 22
Joined: 8 May 2008

Hahaha, i'm glad this game sucked and i hope its sales were terrible. The industry needs to realise the we don't need more generic shooters. Also Fab>Cornetto.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2837
Joined: 21 May 2008

mstrlnk7:
NUMBER 1!!!! ...yay?

Gonna be ban... Unless the question mark will save your ***.

Anonymous Source
Posts: 9
Joined: 21 May 2008

"Have one's cake and eat it too" is nonsensical because the saying was originally the opposite: "eat one's cake and have it", i.e. still have your cake after you've eaten it.

Paperboy
Posts: 43
Joined: 19 May 2008

Well thanks to that review, I now want a cornetto.
I'm already hungry enough!

I have to agree with DoctorNick.
$110???
That's £53! (yeah, I needed to convert it to 'real' money)

Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 6 Feb 2008

Another top notch review from an entertainment standpoint at least. I can't comment about the validity of the comments about the game it's self as I wasn't stupid enough to have played it. ^^

I think Yahtzee's closing line in this one is my new favourite, my previous being the one from the Perseus Mandate video.

On the Record
Posts: 5958
Joined: 7 Feb 2008

Sadly after the awesome Turok and Halo 3 reviews he's already ripped the guts out of the FPS, hence this review feels kind of like he's desecrating the corpse of the genre and dancing on its grave.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2904
Joined: 12 May 2008

DoctorNick:
That thing cost $110!?! Jesus fuck!

Keyword AUSTRALIAN DOLLERS

Press Junketeer
Posts: 404
Joined: 30 May 2008

"...If it wasn't on the back of the fucking box."

Haha, loads of games fall into that trap. They reveal key plot points before we've even played the game. Great review as always.

Paperboy
Posts: 19
Joined: 17 Nov 2007

Haze was never and will be a remembered game, simply another FPS lost in the dust. I think that should be the goal of every developer of a current gen FPS: How can I make my game stand out, and how do I make it last?

Copy Clerk
Posts: 55
Joined: 3 Nov 2007

I always noticed the whole "I'm still a whino even after slaughtering hundreds of men" thing, and never understood it. Of course I noticed it with Florina from Fire Emblem 7, who claims to be afraid of men in between killing ranks of them.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 887
Joined: 9 Jan 2008

Review was considerably shorter than the others.
I played the demo and hated it, after having that experiance why would I want the full game?

Anonymous Source
Posts: 2
Joined: 18 Jun 2008

Well it would be the same price with American dollars to well almost at least.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3266
Joined: 1 Nov 2007

Great review Yahtzee, I don't have a PS3, and if I did I wouldn't buy this game anyway (it screams "Halo ripeoff!" from the get go), so this review is pritty much useless to me, but funny all the same.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 594
Joined: 26 May 2008

Good game. Overpriced. Good review.

Paperboy
Posts: 28
Joined: 21 Feb 2008

Years ago, I thought I had heard "Because I Got High" for the last time... Thanks a lot Yahtzee!

Paperboy
Posts: 18
Joined: 17 Apr 2008

"it's not like there are really any other new games to talk about except if I want to oil up my thighs for AoC"

lol, how many of you were asking "what? you mean mgs4?"

Paperboy
Posts: 24
Joined: 7 May 2008

Cornettos! Awesome!

Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 18 Jun 2008

The phrase "have your cake and eat it too" refers to the fact that once you eat your cake, you no longer have it. Cake is a consumable, so in that respect, you cannot eat it while simultaneously having it.

Beat Writer
Posts: 162
Joined: 17 Apr 2008

Yeah, today Australian dollars were running around 93 US cents? Games here really are that expensive for the new gen games - even the really low quality filler stuff tends to debut around that price. Protip? *import from the US for about 2/3 the price while the AUD is still high*

Beat Writer
Posts: 149
Joined: 12 Mar 2008

blacknar ragmane:
"it's not like there are really any other new games to talk about except if I want to oil up my thighs for AoC"

lol, how many of you were asking "what? you mean mgs4?"

A lot :p but that's only been out a week and he was away last wednesday so its likely to be next weeks. Maybe. Though doubtless hordes of viewers are spamming his mailbox about it as we speak :P

Beat Writer
Posts: 141
Joined: 4 Feb 2008

I was surprised the review wasnt about MGS, yahtzee keeping his powder dry?

also 10/10 for the opening song

Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 18 Jun 2008

Oh I'm glad he reviewed this. I didn't th much of the demo. In my opinion the NECTAR was as useless as a wet carrot, making all the movements jerky and getting you hit more often.

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