Zero Punctuation: Haze

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I was going to be good and not ask for an Age of Conan review. Being that is about as MMORPG as anything that ever mom-morph-burgered its way into sucking down time whilst forcing you to be vaguely social-- though from what I understand, Solo isn't bad at all, and if I play it, I'm likely to play it thus. But the oiled thighs comment is too much. Now I'm more inclined to beg. Before I go to spend thousand(s) on upgrading the ol' PC for it.

Pretty good review, I guess I'm too tired right now to catch on to the funny bits.
Whoops. Well In a bit I will be getting the funny.

What was up with the EXTREEEEEME ad for the Escapist at the end? It was quite silly.

For all those thinking "oh no why no MGS" - something tells me that...

1.) It's next week (see painkiller review about him talkin' about it)

2.) He played it, and he doesn't want to review it because he fears having to make a "Mailbag Showdown 2" - so he reviews this piece of shit.

Oh yeah, why was he talking about "Lubing up my thighs" for Age of Conan 2? Sorry I just didn't catch that one >_>

I liked the "I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!" bit. The idea of an FPS game starring Shinji Ikari is an oddly interesting one.

Archedgar:
That was a bit short, but otherwise I enjoyed the review.

I HATED my collegues in other FPS games too, they are always jackasses, though I can't help but think that actual soldiers are probably jackasses too.

I also hate the phrase "Have one's cake and eat it", it makes no sense, it's like "The exception that proves the rule" wtf. Anyway, good review, but a bit short.

You have a fucking cake. you eat it. it was fun, but now you have no cake. You wish that you could somehow get the enjoyment of eating that cake without having to deplete your supply of cake.

Spending all of my money is fun. I wish I could do so without going broke.

It's such a simple, straightforward idea. You might be retarded. sorry.

Aries_Split:

DoctorNick:
That thing cost $110!?! Jesus fuck!

Keyword AUSTRALIAN DOLLERS

Yeah but it's just about the same as US dollars at the moment what with the American economy going to hell.

This economics broadcast by Completely Useless and Ignored report.

Now I can pinpoint he reason I dont want to play Haze, Yahtzee said so.

Where's Metal Gear Solid 4? D:

I lol'd at the Evangelion reference. Perhaps next week we need an Evangelion review? :P That series was good until about halfway through when the people making it seemed to lose the will to live...

UpInSmoke:

Archedgar:
That was a bit short, but otherwise I enjoyed the review.

I HATED my collegues in other FPS games too, they are always jackasses, though I can't help but think that actual soldiers are probably jackasses too.

I also hate the phrase "Have one's cake and eat it", it makes no sense, it's like "The exception that proves the rule" wtf. Anyway, good review, but a bit short.

You have a fucking cake. you eat it. it was fun, but now you have no cake. You wish that you could somehow get the enjoyment of eating that cake without having to deplete your supply of cake.

Spending all of my money is fun. I wish I could do so without going broke.

It's such a simple, straightforward idea. You might be retarded. sorry.

The problem is most people don't read the comments, they just post.

At any rate. I played the demo and was quite unimpressed. I don't care about FPSs supposedly ripping each other off. I imagine its hard not to. But a game needs something to set itself apart, or to add a new dimension of fun or innovation. And the nectar didn't do that for me.

DennoCoil:
Where's Metal Gear Solid 4? D:

Gametraders Robina?

Furthermore I vote for eating pie - or a Cornetto for that matter - instead of discussing this stupid idiom in every third damn post.

i watched this one after watching assasins creed, in there he makes the reference "have one's cake and evicerate it too"

So hearing yahtzee make the saome reference right in a row was like, WHUT O_O

i prefer the evicerate it reference though

(yes i know I'm spelling it wrong, idc enough to spell check it)

Well, that re-affirms the fact that I'm not getting a PS3 anytime soon for the GAMES.
And seriously, $110 AUD!? You could've bought at least forty Cornettos with that money! But now you have to steal them.

This is strikingly similar to that picture of Lex Luthor stealing forty cakes... I suppose his excuse was the same: "I traveled forward in time, wasted money on Haze, and now I need to steal fluffy icing-drizzled confectioneries to fill my bald fat ass thanks to poor decision making".

Maybe next time, Yahtzee. Maybe next time...

Huh...evil corporations controlling evil armies...how bold.

What the fuck was that bit at the end? Drawn by pain my ass.

oh man... i spent all night awake yesterday finishing MGS4... (on BigBoss Hard) jus so i could watch your review of it today without gettin any spoilers and understanding all the points ur crtiscizin..... (if u actualy find any... because as an MGS fan since the first one i obviously dint find any... EXCEPT the lack of easter eggs)

all that to find out ur reviewing HAze.... a game which even though i was lookin forward to seeing the trailers, was dissapointed by the first level and never even botherd to go further than the first fight as the rebels...
then again... its good to hear ur reviews of bad games.. there always very funny and i can agree with them

so thanks Yathzee... i guess MGS4 will have to wait next week...
c ya den

More FPS fun. I wonder how these games get funding...

also

I like to look at the comments section link and think, hmm, wonder if someone got banned this time around, bet money with myself, and give it a click.

What a shame, what a shame... and to think I'd been so looking forward to Haze when that first trailer came out- how long ago? May 2006? More than two years ago. I lost track of it after that, and just sort of shook my head and sighed when I heard what an underachievement it had turned out to be. Yahtzee's review cements it- no sense in even looking for it in the bargain bin.

Also, ha-ha at the choice of opening music. And we need to knock some heads together to get the Aussies some reasonable prices on games. Gamers of the world unite! ...after you're done arguing about which is the best console or whether the Master Chief could beat Gordon Freeman.

That review was far too lenient. No one should play Haze. Anyone.

I appreciate Yahtzee's reviews for there humor and freshness despite if he doesn't go after a game with relentless bear balls or goes after parts of the game that others find absolutely intolerable. The only time I watch a review and feel a bit disappointed is when I hear him re-use old stuff that wasn't some of his best, although "jagged-rock junction" is a classic.
Also it's free to watch his stuff.

Gregorius:
Well, that re-affirms the fact that I'm not getting a PS3 anytime soon for the GAMES.

What I think is Ironic is that it's supposed to be a PS3 exclusive, and then it turns out it looks and plays like a bad 360 game.

Also, keep that PS3 has no games crap out of here.

I don't really see this as a Halo rip off.

Mainly because I like this.

This is the first time I've posted about Zero Punctuation even though I'm quite a fan. Just wanted to let it be known that I think you guys are brilliant. Keep 'em coming!!!!

Not the funniest of reviews, but a great job nonetheless.
I think it would've been too obvious to make a reference to "Purple Haze."

WHY TF review MSG anyway? Theres 2 kinds of people: Those who like the game and those who think a small payload nuke would have solved all metal gear related problems very efficiently.

Thank you. Yet another game I'll stay away from like a disease.

PS: Loved the crack about current-gen drab graphics. Blah.

Given the recent reviews massacre, I'm surprised Yahtzee was relatively amiable with this one. Never thought I'd see the day where I'd wish to see more criticism heaped on a game by ZP...

Hehehehehehe, hahahahahahaha.... [Sigh] ...... Hahahahahahhahaaaaaa.....

Stunning. Funny, informative, funny again & right on the money.

Love the cake comment, I've often thought the same thing (Apart from he stripper part, but it's a good point).

FuZion.

Random argument man:

mstrlnk7:
NUMBER 1!!!! ...yay?

Gonna be ban... Unless the question mark will save your ***.

Apparently the question mark is not all holy, judging by this example at least...hmm, I must ponder this. Also, yeah, the "got high" song is bloody awesome.

2D cutout forests, hahahaha.

Please don't rip age of conan a new one yet, wait a month so it can get a bit more of it's shit together.

Credossuck:
WHY TF review MSG anyway? Theres 2 kinds of people: Those who like the game and those who think a small payload nuke would have solved all metal gear related problems very efficiently.

We want him to make jokes about it. Like "Why do I have to look at Solid Snakes ass?" - but then we'll laugh "BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!"

The word superfluous comes to mind after watching this review. Why bother reviewing yet another sub-par FPS after giving Turok and Jericho such thorough beatings? Still pretty funny though.

Righto, what's up with the ads at the end?

We're already on your website, watching your vids, why do we need to be reminded that there are other vids on this website?

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