Zero Punctuation: Age of Conan

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Mmm I thought last week's was a return to glorious form but now I'm losing faith again. It just seems like he's not putting as much effort in. Then again, somebody once said "being a critic is easy for a month or so, anything after that requires stamina" or something to that effect.
Also I would love to see a Yahtzee/Brooker combo review of something or other, imgaine the awesome!

something_clevar:
Sorry if this has been posted before, but why does Yahtzee say that he's 'fat' at the end of his review? He always made jokes about being undernourished and scrawny back in his Fully Ramblomatic days.... Ehh, maybe I'm looking too much into this, though it is rather intriguing.

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate MMORPGS. I hate what they do to people: turning them into nocturnal blobs of flesh and cheetos that communicate entirely in mouth breathing."
In other words, combined with the "I'M FAT" comment: he was turned into a nocturnal blob of flesh and was eating almost exclusively junk food.

EDIT: Oh, and what the hell, people? I'm not trying to flame anybody, but I wouldn't exactly call it unprecedented to ask you all what the fuck you're talking about when you bash on the new theme. Sure, the old ones were no-doubt clevar in their relevancy, but this is YAHTZEE - this is something that was pretty much created by the man himself. How can you not appreciate that?

Also, who in their sane mind doesn't like classic rock with a heavy dose of squealy guitars?

It's actually by Ian Dorsch.

And it does reek of "attitude", "edginess" or, heaven forbid, "pro-active" or whatever marketingspeak terminology is in "vogue" these days. I had hoped it died with the 90s, along with track suits, mullets and fanny packs.

great video. awesomely funny. definately just as good as the previous ones.
question to everyone: is age of conan really coming out on the 360? how would an mmorpg work on it?

Alright, fine. I am unequipping my character's armor as we speak. Or, type as the case may be. Are you happy Yahtzee? Are you happy you've integrated me into your zombie army?

David_Cat2:
Yep, Fascist. I thought as much.

Proudly!

something_clevar:

EDIT: Oh, and what the hell, people? I'm not trying to flame anybody, but I wouldn't exactly call it unprecedented to ask you all what the fuck you're talking about when you bash on the new theme. Sure, the old ones were no-doubt clevar in their relevancy, but this is YAHTZEE - this is something that was pretty much created by the man himself. How can you not appreciate that?

Well, given that Yahtzee is a 'reviewer' and not some Demi-God of Taste. Quite easily.

Also, who in their sane mind doesn't like classic rock with a heavy dose of squealy guitars?

Anyone with eardrums.

I like the review but I feel that somehow your characters looked better then mine and yours were drawn in MS Paint.

I decided to try the Digital Download and waste a few monies on it and was wastly dissapointed by how ugly the game looked even with everything maxed up. I did also choose a Stygian demo-something wannabe and I managed to get her to remind me of Raistlin Majere in a way. Gaunt face small frail body - which wasn't so frail considering I could AOE crocolisks with a broken plank.

Biggest dissapointment was that it looked like every character ran on a wallpaper that had hastly been thrown in to avoid us all bath in glue. And if anyone is interesting, there are a few modders whom are working on fully nuditing AoC - which is a good thing since the current nudity is more disgusting then appealing.

FFXI still has the best nude patch though followed by the aweful game WoW. Hellgate has a good one but only for Single Player. Then again same with Oblivion but Oblivion is mandatory to have since it also makes better bodies.

if you want to play a decent mmorpg try playing city of villains its got the best combat system there is for these games and you will be surprised on how customizable your character is in both stature and actual apperance.

Laugh Baldur's Gate out the room? Perhaps dumb, but was that sarcasm?

Arnold saying "Moo?" made my day. Haven't played AoC so that's about it for me and this video.

"Moo?"

It's going to take a while before I stop laughing at that.

afrophysics:
Mmm I thought last week's was a return to glorious form but now I'm losing faith again. It just seems like he's not putting as much effort in. Then again, somebody once said "being a critic is easy for a month or so, anything after that requires stamina" or something to that effect.
Also I would love to see a Yahtzee/Brooker combo review of something or other, imgaine the awesome!

Damn, guess I'm going a tad post-crazy with this new account, but I have to say it....

I mean, it's not like I think that all of Yahtzee's reviews are awesome and will never change my opinion ever no matter what (though it would take a lot of convincing at this point :)), but he's been doing reviews for longer than you would think. Ever single page on Fullyramblomatic.com is truly 100% solid gold. I think the only problem with his video reviews, really, is that every once and a while he will create something so mind-blowingly amazing (Bioshock, Mailbag Showdown, Painkiller) that there isn't really much room left for him to improve. He can't just go and review every game he wants; he has a job.

At the risk of sounding like a Yahtzee-loving freak, I think the only thing that's wrong now is The Escapist holding back his creative genius (yes, genius). Not that I'm saying he should quit or anything, because that can actually make things better in the long run. For example, I'm sure he didn't want to review it, but his Army of Two review is what made me finally decide to not buy it. In a culture wherein video games are over-priced and over-hyped at every possible opportunity, the harsh words of Benjamin Yahtzee Sebastian Godzilla Croshaw can be a much-needed breath of fresh air, no matter what the context (ZOMG! Cliche' Alert!).

Yahtzee, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that you haven't let me down yet! Never change! [Err, actually, that wasn't an order. I mean, if you want to change, it'll be awesome, as usual. ;)]

And, you know, if you finally reach your goal of being a respected writer / video-game-designer, try not to forget about us loyal fans, even if some of us do spend a little too much time reading your archives on FR. Please?

Shit, I need to lay off the speed. >_> (This won't get me banned, will it? Jesus, I hope not....)

EDIT: Man, this is moving into tl;dr territory, eh? Anyway, to that guy that replied to my comment about the music, well, I know it was made by Ian Dorsch (sp?); but on FR, Yahtzee said that he suggested the 'classic rock with squealy guitars' theme. Ehh, I like it - and also Led Zep, and The Beatles... Yeah.

Orichimaru:
if you want to play a decent mmorpg try playing city of villains its got the best combat system there is for these games and you will be surprised on how customizable your character is in both stature and actual apperance.

Yes, the customnisation is nice but the best combat system is just a horselie.
It's worse then WoWs. It's very VERY bad. It's classic made bad <_<

Is it only me that is having an issue with all of the ZPs now getting 30 seconds in and just buffering and never getting anything else?

StatikShock:
I definitely have to agree with the necromancer sentiment. Stupid minions take up too much screen space. IMO, AoC got released without enough play testing. Or with beta testers who were (to quote Yahtzee) Pants-on-head-retarded. NEEDS MORE MINIONS. WHO WANTS STRONGER MINIONS WHEN YOU CAN HAVE MOAR?

As an ex-beta tester for this game I can assure you, the high minion count wasn't implemented in the beta, you ended up with 8 aswell, but not before level 50 or something. At 20 you had 3 or 4 I think. Either way, you don't really get stronger minions until later, so more weaker ones is your best option. Stronger minions also use up more "pet points" meaning you can't have nearly as many of them.

As for the review, Yahtzee hit the nail on the head with AoC, it needs work, big time.
It tries to be a bit more mature about itself, but I'm not sure whether it actually pulled it off, the EU servers felt a bit better, although I did play on a PvE server which meant not getting ganked the whole time, unlike on a PvP server.
It does look very pretty though if you have the hardware to pull it off, but it's just not ready yet.

Never made it past level 53 myself (on a Tempest) then I rapidly lost interest as the quest simply ran out at this point. All I had to look forward to were about 7 levels worth of agonisingly slow grind to get to 60 and then continue until the quests ran out again.

Might give it another go in 6 months or so, to see if it's any better by then.

It was an interesting review, but I would have prefered it if Yahtzee would have played a melee class in order to comment on the "press button to swing" combat system and the rather bloody fatalities which are AoC big selling points.

PS1: Its funny to hear a rant about AoC when the background of the board is a huge AoC advertisment.

PS2: I don't assume that the Escapist is shelling out enough money to send Yahtzee to the Games Convention?

Ok, I'm not suprised he did Age of Conan but I'm still suprised he hasn't done Battlefield Bad Company.

A call out for Bad Company anyone? :-)

P.S. - Yes, I know he doesn't do requests. Whats the next big title game to review? :-/

warfjm:
Ok, I'm not suprised he did Age of Conan but I'm still suprised he hasn't done Battlefield Bad Company.

A call out for Bad Company anyone? :-)

P.S. - Yes, I know he doesn't do requests. Whats the next big title game to review? :-/

I think he's tired of FpS.

warfjm:
Ok, I'm not suprised he did Age of Conan but I'm still suprised he hasn't done Battlefield Bad Company.

A call out for Bad Company anyone? :-)

P.S. - Yes, I know he doesn't do requests. Whats the next big title game to review? :-/

I would prefer he didn't do Battlfield: Bad Company because it's a multi-player centric game (I know there's a single player campaign, but you know I'm right). We've all heard about how much he cares for multi-player ie: Halo3, Brawl, etc.

Ixal:
It was an interesting review, but I would have prefered it if Yahtzee would have played a melee class in order to comment on the "press button to swing" combat system and the rather bloody fatalities which are AoC big selling points.

AoC biggest selling point was the fullblown Nudity they wanted for it originally <.<

I enjoyed this review. It was one in a few that did not completely involve dicks and jokes revolving around them smeared in my face for 80% of the review, itself. Though the oddly comforting sense that Yahtzee played a nude stick-woman with tits in a game leaves me feeling a little awkward. This is not a complaint.

I stopped caring about the music.

The only flaws I saw in this sort of review were the ones where I craved for more depth. However I completely understand that a review that has such flaws has little to do with the reviewer in question and much to do with the game. What more was I expecting Ben to pull from a hat with another cheap mmorpg?

STOP! BULLLLLSHIIIIIIT.

Everquest and Lineage 2 set up MMORPG standards WAY better WoW was even released. In fact, educated MMORPG players are well aware of the fact that WoW is basically an EQ/Lineage 2 KNOCKOFF with cartoony graphics that is cranked down to ridiculously low difficulty levels.

I myself, having played EQ , lineage 2 and WoW, am offended to hear Yahtzee say that all MMORPGs are trying to be WoW, as WoW is essentially a knockoff that is riding Warcraft1/2/3 popularity and success and built a fanbase by blatantly copying already successful MMORPGs.

For shame yahtzee...

Anyway other than that, good video, I enjoyed it.

They are old games but can we have a Baldur's Gate games review please?

Archedgar:
STOP! BULLLLLSHIIIIIIT.

Everquest and Lineage 2 set up MMORPG standards WAY better WoW was even released. In fact, educated MMORPG players are well aware of the fact that WoW is basically an EQ/Lineage 2 KNOCKOFF with cartoony graphics that is cranked down to ridiculously low difficulty levels.

I myself, having played EQ , lineage 2 and WoW, am offended to hear Yahtzee say that all MMORPGs are trying to be WoW, as WoW is essentially a knockoff that is riding Warcraft1/2/3 popularity and success and built a fanbase by blatantly copying already successful MMORPGs.

For shame yahtzee...

Anyway other than that, good video, I enjoyed it.

Which one of those games has 10 million subscribers?

Zeithri:

Orichimaru:
if you want to play a decent mmorpg try playing city of villains its got the best combat system there is for these games and you will be surprised on how customizable your character is in both stature and actual apperance.

Yes, the customnisation is nice but the best combat system is just a horselie.
It's worse then WoWs. It's very VERY bad. It's classic made bad <_<

Agreed, much as I loved my time on CoV, there's some horrible problems. */Dark beats everything. MM's can run through on Invincible. Stalkers are pants until 8 then Gods. Brutes collapse without a good travel power.

But it's still the best customisation engine ever.

CantFaketheFunk:

Which one of those games has 10 million subscribers?

So does Big Brother. Point?

Still not liking the intro.

Totallyfolked:
hehehe I liked the midsomer murders reference, the TV equivalent of of an MMO, boring, repetitive and making what 2 hours of your life back.

You missed all the humour then.

Archedgar:
STOP! BULLLLLSHIIIIIIT.

Everquest and Lineage 2 set up MMORPG standards WAY better WoW was even released. In fact, educated MMORPG players are well aware of the fact that WoW is basically an EQ/Lineage 2 KNOCKOFF with cartoony graphics that is cranked down to ridiculously low difficulty levels.

I myself, having played EQ , lineage 2 and WoW, am offended to hear Yahtzee say that all MMORPGs are trying to be WoW, as WoW is essentially a knockoff that is riding Warcraft1/2/3 popularity and success and built a fanbase by blatantly copying already successful MMORPGs.

For shame yahtzee...

Anyway other than that, good video, I enjoyed it.

Way better?
I bought EQ2 online with all expansions.
I played it for 5min, then I turned that horrible game of.

They probably were the first, but not the best ones. Lineage II being a perfect example of a horrible MMO whereat you cannot even walk up close to a friend because your character will do anything in her power to walk AROUND that person instead.

Cartoony graphics is a crappy argument to use.

not that anyone will read this (unlessu have nothin to do but shift through the forums...) this is, as usual a great episode, and it makes a change to not hear about how amazing this game was, i heard from a 'reliable source' that this game was average and (here it comes) nowhere near as good as WoW (sorry to bring that game up, i no how much everyone hates it...)

and ingore all the comments about the start end sequence, there is nothin wrong with it and its quite funky, well made too, good work

I thought that this was quite funny but i liked his older reviews a LOT better

Loved all the HST references.

Another spot on review, keep 'em coming.

nice one !!

I'm rather saddened that he didn't play a melee char and comment on the fatalities :( but great review as always. I rather enjoyed it up until level 40 then the game shits over itself

That intro music sounds like it should be on an MTV Sports program. The ones where the presenter's some spiky haired nobody in enormous sunglasses commentating on some extreme sport like BMX or Snowboarding.
Except that his commentary consists of yelling Gnarrrrghllleeee every 30 seconds and screaming "Oh My Gaad!" every time a competitor pulls a bunny hop. Whilst at the same time pulling out random factoids even though it's patently obvious to all concerned that he hasn't got a clue...

The review is funny as usual, but why such a cliched piece of music at the start?

Very accurate and funny review. I cancelled my sub after about a month, and though I like to think I'll go back if it gets better, the rational part of me knows that I was just feeding my MMO addiction until WAR. I hope that doesn't turn into filler as well.

Absolutely loved the "Midsomer Murders" reference as well.

...Does anyone else find it slightly amusing or at least ironic that the website has a large splash advertisement for the game in the background whilst Mr. Croshaw has rated it no more than meh as far as mmorpg's go?

Anyway, I liked this one, the intro is growing on me, the outro not so much i don't really know why, but i'll let it go.

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